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The first rule that Jeno lives by is to never complain.
He understands the need to pour out his feelings to lessen the load that bubbles inside of him, threatening to explode any moment. He understands that venting his feelings to others is an essential step to keep his sanity from running away from his life.
Understanding is one thing, putting his understanding to action is another.
The first reason has something to do with Jaemin, further elaborated in rule number three.
The second reason why it is particularly harder to truly lay his burdens on someone is because of his quiet personality. Not one to start a conversation and definitely not one to open up deeper talks that bear his heart out in the open. There is always a preference to listen, to observe, to be aware of the shift in their scent that leave the other person’s emotions vulnerable. Jeno likes to be a listener, where his sensitivity to people’s feelings is something he prides himself in.
The third reason is probably a reason that Jaemin hates with his entire life. “Because that’s a dumb reason!” Jaemin would yell every time Jeno bottles up his feelings too much and end up landing himself in the hospital due to over fatigue. But the truth of the matter is that Jeno is pack alpha, meaning he needs to be the one who has his act together.
It's true that in the past, packs could go up to the hundreds, where pack alphas have hundreds of lives in their hands, modern times are a lot different. For one, most packs keep their numbers below 10 and Jeno is on the smaller side, only having five people under him. Still, Jeno finds the need to be the one who leads by example and ensures that everyone in his pack is doing great. Not fine, not alright, not barely hanging by a thread, but great.
Because rule number two is that Jeno never settles for anything less.
There is definitely the understanding that perfection is impossible. Even if perfectionist Renjun angrily paint black stripes over his almost done painting and throws the canvas into the trash before creating a new one, Jeno knows perfection does not exist. But almost perfection, the idea of greatness, of nearing to be the best is what Jeno thinks is nothing less than what he should constantly be aiming for.
So he strives to be the next best thing to perfect which drives Jaemin absolutely nuts.
If he has the ability to grab that scholarship that covers his university fees he would. If he could fit in time for the student union and basketball in between studies, he would sign his name for those in a heartbeat. If he could get a part-time job on the weekends so that he can live independently from his parents to lessen their burden, his name would be found on the shift roster every week.
Jaemin wants to kill him every time Jeno is seen behind the cashier with eyebags ready to carry even more burdens. The usual scent of mandarin orange, mint and a tinge of caramel turns completely sour and Jeno has to clench his jaw to stop himself from crying because he hates making the omega upset.
Which brings Jeno to the most contradicting rule that he lives by, also known as his third rule.
Keep Jaemin happy.
He knows very well that he does not do a very good job in making Jaemin happy. Especially when the source of Jaemin’s sadness comes from Jeno abiding by his first two rules. Of which, in itself, is rather ironic considering Jeno created the first two rules in order to ensure Jaemin’s happiness in life is secured.
Sure, Jeno started to truly live out his life the way he does now when he was just 13, definitely way more relaxed and carefree in primary school, but he has no plans on stopping any time soon. Whenever Jeno feels himself cracking at the seams, he closes his eyes and remembers Jaemin standing in front of him to fight against the bullies. They were outnumbered, smaller, younger, not yet presented wolves in front of alphas, and were clearly not fighters. But Jaemin stood his ground, got himself beat up just to protect Jeno and from then on, Jeno’s 13-year-old brain had never forgotten such kindness.
Jeno’s 23-year-old brain still has not forgotten it either.
There was a time in his life when he tried to repay Jaemin’s kindness with gifts, acts of service, and other love languages he could think of. Instead, Jaemin instead smiles and tells Jeno “as long as you’re doing great, I’m happy.” And Jeno took that quite literally.
At first, it was just the last two rules, become someone great by never settling for less and keeping Jaemin happy. But when Jeno finds himself unable to keep up with greatness, he realises as long as Jaemin does not know about his obviously lacking self, it kind of still works. That brings Jeno to creating the rule to never complain, if no one finds out about how he is struggling to be as capable as he should be, Jaemin would never know that Jeno was not doing great.
So to Jaemin, Jeno is doing great. Except Jeno is a terrible liar and his pheromones are more obvious than Jeno would like them to be. Jaemin says it smells like Jeno’s forest rainwater has moved to the city and fell into the sewers instead. Donghyuck tells Jeno it is an exaggeration because Donghyuck actually cannot tell the difference despite being one of the better ones at sensing emotions through scents. Renjun explains it probably has something to do with the 10 years of friendship that gives Jaemin the extra knowledge of Jeno’s status through scent.
There is a big part in Jeno’s alpha that knows how Jaemin is possibly one of the densest when it comes to sensing people’s emotions through scents unless they are part of their pack. There is, however, a small part of Jeno’s alpha that knows that Jaemin is the most sensitive when it comes to Jeno’s shift in mood and health. Knowing even the tiniest millimetre of difference.
Jeno’s heart swells and his alpha howls in desire for Jaemin. Jisung has told Jeno countless times that the two of them are as close to dating as any couple could possibly get but Jeno wants to abide by his rules and not having his life together would not make Jaemin happy.
Although Jeno is quiet, he does very obviously shows how in love he is with his best friend. Jaemin has probably known about it the entire time but the fact that Jaemin has never brought it up makes Jeno think it is because Jeno still needs to earn his place. Chenle shakes his head, Donghyuck snorts at him, Renjun facepalms while Jisung gives a sympathetic smile when Jeno tells them about his plan.
“I’ll court him when I can,” is what Jeno replies with when one of his pack members bothers him with the question “when are you and Jaemin getting together?”.
So now fresh out of university, quitting his part-time job of four years, Jeno starts working at the company that he interned at during his last semester of university. Genesis, a luxurious car brand in Korea. Jeno remembered Jaemin screaming when he heard Genesis had approved of Jeno’s internship and then screamed even louder than humanly possible when Jeno broke the news that he was offered a full-time position as part of the car designing team after graduation.
It is the start of Jeno’s big plan to prove to Jaemin that he is a worthy potential mate. Something along the lines of being a capable leader of their pack and a loving and caring husband at the same time. Something something good with children, something something the best person to have ever courted Jaemin.
That last part is a little hard to prove though.
While Jaemin is dense in general, courting rituals are too standard to be ignored. The amount of carved wooden figures that appear in Jaemin’s locker throughout middle and high school is probably more than Jeno’s practised ones, which is a lot. There were about 43 carved wooden figures hidden in boxes in Jeno’s old childhood bedroom from trying to perfect his carving skills and Jeno knows Jaemin has received way more in his lifetime. Jaemin is simply built as a highly attractive omega and Jeno is nothing but a weak alpha to one pretty omega.
Even in university, Jaemin would find himself being asked to stay behind class or to meet behind the building to be given handmade wooden works. Some are more creative than others, taking traditions to a different level. But Jaemin never accepts, always returning the wooden items with a soft smile and sincere thanks. Occasionally when asked why for the rejection, Jaemin replies with “there is a particular wooden figure I’ve been eyeing” with no other context. Jeno has heard him say this line countless times, having to be the one who waits nearby in case things get nasty.
Nothing happens, nothing has ever happened because, for some reason, Jaemin’s suitors reach some sort of epiphany and leave understandingly. Jeno would appear behind the bushes, behind doors, behind trees, behind tables and Jaemin would turn around with the brightest grin.
“Jeno! Let’s go!” Jaemin would shout excitedly even though the loudness was unnecessary. But Jeno doesn’t mind because Jaemin’s voice is always welcomed to his ears.
The first day of his job almost feels like he is still an intern but busier.
He knows everyone in his department and his team leader doesn’t give the customary onboarding for newcomers and instead unloaded him with tasks needed to be done. So Jeno does what he does best, he listens and quietly does what he needs to do without complaining.
Somewhere between carrying extra responsibilities now that he is a full-time staff and still helping others to do minor errands due to being the youngest and a once intern, Jeno receives a call from a crying Chenle. A fight with his parents about the family business and flying back to Shanghai after his studies instead of staying in Korea as Chenle wished for. Hiding his one AirPod in his left ear with a hoodie after muttering an awkward “the office is a little cold”, Jeno listens to Chenle as he always does.
His right ear listens out for his superior in front of him, giving a briefing about incorporating new technology that Hyundai has invented into their project. It gives Jeno a headache from trying to multitask and maintaining his mental status but he gets through it. At the end of his workday, Jeno closes his laptop 40 minutes after his supposed clock out time and takes the train to Chenle’s tiny apartment where he stays there to comfort him like the proper pack alpha that he is.
The second day of his job becomes drastically different.
The team leader’s scent shifts into something Jeno assumes to be feelings of awkwardness but the team leader smiles like Jeno can expect good news.
“Jeno! I know you were expecting to work with us but you’re transferring teams. Don’t worry, your job scope is essentially the same but you’re going to work with team A! It’s a really good opportunity for you!” The team leader grins and gestures to Jeno to pack his things. “They asked me to recommend someone to bump them up to team A and you immediately came to mind.”
It somehow gives Jeno a surge of ego and yet an upsetting amount of guilt. Donghyuck has always told Jeno that he is proud of him but it is when tangible results such as this make Jeno truly believe that he is worth being proud of.
In team A, everything is even busier because no one even looks up from their laptop when Jeno is ushered into the room. Typing sounds fill the empty spaces between every footstep Jeno and his now-former team leader and Jeno’s nerves start rattling his bones. Team A’s team leader sits at the end of the room overlooking the four other employees who are glued to their screen and Jeno stands awkwardly in front of the desk.
“Taeyong, this is Jeno. He just graduated but he was our intern for six months. You asked me for my recommendation and I honestly think he’d be a great addition.”
Taeyong looks up from his desktop and takes off his glasses as he stands up. Jeno takes a whiff and notes the strong smell of cinnamon and oakwood. A smell that has Jeno trying to suppress his alpha from snarling, wanting to challenge the domineering alpha in front of him. But Jeno’s first order of business is to shake Taeyong’s outstretched hand and then shut down his secondary gender’s primitive nature of fighting highly domineering alphas.
Taeyong smiles wide and Jeno’s alpha cools down at the sight, probably best to obey considering Taeyong is literally his boss. Maybe that natural dominance in him is what it takes to lead a team that sits on the highest hierarchy of all car designing teams. He steps out of his desk and takes Jeno to the other team members who have their heads buried in work, something Jeno suspects would soon be him.
Jeno is introduced to Johnny, his table has four cups of empty plastic cups from Starbucks with dark eye circles clearly visible. Yet, the alpha waves enthusiastically with a giant grin on his face and add a jovial “looking forward to working with you!” before going right back to his work. Next to Johnny is Jungwoo who gives a cute smile and a fanservice-like wink to Jeno who ends up blushing at Jungwoo’s action. The beta left no room for Jeno to recover as he sends Jeno a flying kiss and a “hope we get along well cutie.” Sitting opposite of Jungwoo is Ten, an omega who gives a small wave and a quick “I’d love to be friendlier but this is really important and I need to focus” of which Jeno nods understandingly and Taeyong ushers Jeno to the next person.
A thin male who sits with his back upright and glasses that sit too low on his nose bridge was Jeno’s first impression. When Taeyong tells Jeno “this is Mark,", Mark’s head shoots up and beams. When Jeno shakes Mark’s hand and tries to take a whiff, he almost frowns when he realises he has no idea what Mark’s secondary gender is. But professionality is important so Jeno maintains his signature eye smile that Jaemin says he loves to see.
"Hi! I'm Mark Lee!" The man replies and Jeno introduces himself formally. Taeyong lets Jeno know that Mark will be his mentor for now until Jeno gets used to how their team works.
"Shadow Mark for a while, it would be good for you." Taeyong smiles and Jeno is more than confused at that last part but nods in acknowledgement anyway. The desk next to Mark is empty and Jeno assumes correctly to settle his things there.
Unlike most offices, Genesis does not have cubicles. Instead, the company has desks with drawers and no mini walls for privacy. Jeno remembers the explanation during his onboarding as an intern that it encourages the team to communicate and plan together without the need for meeting rooms. Saving office space and erasing the hassle of booking extra rooms for teams to discuss the next car design. Perhaps it also gives less room for open slacking but Jeno recalls the other intern, Sungchan, using his phone openly during the small intermittents where they don't have any work to do. Sungchan has also been offered a full-time position but turned it down so perhaps the open use of phones wasn't part of the decision.
Still, Jeno would rather not risk it and sneakily uses it just to answer messages and calls from his pack that require his attention. Then the day goes on and Jeno realises his previous team leader was right, his job scope is essentially the same. Except busier. A lot more pressure. More trips to the manufacturing department are made to finalise details. Chenle is crying again as he receives another call from his parents. Jisung has locked himself in his dorm room because a presentation had gone wrong. Renjun found out his boyfriend had cheated on him. Jaemin is uncontactable and won't return Jeno's messages. There is that guilt that eats Jeno alive that he isn't doing his job as a leader because he can't really be of help.
But at least, Mark is nice.
"Jeno! Let's take a detour," Mark beckons Jeno to follow him, away from the direction of where their office is at. They were standing outside the manufacturing factory that is an extension of the office building and Jeno had to make one too many bathroom breaks to check on everyone. He says he has an upset stomach each time and feels an extra sense of guilt when Mark suggests Jeno take the rest of the day off.
No, Jeno does not have an actual upset stomach and taking a half-day leave on his second day was not a great idea. So he smiles politely and tells Mark he is fine, he just needs the bathroom a little more than he would like. In between answering calls from Chenle and Renjun, Donghyuck assures Jeno that he is with Jisung. But the situation is still less than ideal because Donghyuck has a lecture at 3 p.m. and has to leave Jisung alone soon for a few hours until classes end. Jeno still has about three and a half hours left of work but even then, Jeno knows that working overtime is the norm at such a fast-paced company.
His pack is not doing great, not even okay, not even alright and Jeno washes his face before stepping out of the bathroom and puts on his best expression when he is within Mark's sight.
The detour consists of the back of the factory where there are benches and a red path that swerves between. Mark leads the pathway and Jeno follows closely behind. The trees greet him by swaying when a strong breeze hits, the grass has that freshly cut smell and Jeno tries to take another whiff of Mark's ocean and lemongrass scent but unfortunately, he still has no idea what Mark's secondary gender is.
In a world where knowing the other's secondary gender is literally instinct, in-built from the moment you present, not knowing is odd. Jeno wonders if Mark is some odd commodity where he is none of the above and is some sort of new species at the age of...
Wait, how old is Mark?
"I'm 24," Mark turns to Jeno and Jeno blushes when he realises he had thought out loud by accident. Only a year older than he was and yet Jeno notes that Mark is a lot more relaxed. He watches Mark enjoy the breeze and has a light skip in his steps as he sits down at one of the benches. Jeno thinks that sitting around during work hours shouldn't be ethical but currently, Jeno's job is to shadow Mark and so he sits next to him.
"Is everything alright?" Mark asks.
Jeno has known for a total of five and a half hours and yet his wolf instincts are telling Jeno to trust the man. Even though his alpha still has no idea what Mark is, even though Mark is only a year older, even though Jeno would never admit to anyone about his struggles of being disappointed in himself over and over for not being great.
"Not really," Jeno finds himself answering. He looks surprised at his own answer and Mark finds it amusing.
"Why are you surprised by your own answer?" Mark laughs and Jeno shifts in his seat awkwardly, not knowing how to explain how surprising his answer truly was. "Wanna talk about it, bro?" Mark continues.
"Not really, no." Jeno answers again but it is way less surprising. He is not one to complain, not today, not yesterday, and not for the past 10 years of his life.
Mark hums and nods his head, his eyes gazing over the semi-park that is built behind the factory that Jeno never knew existed. They sit in silence and Jeno finds himself being plagued with worry over his pack when Mark clears his throat. He smiles at Jeno and then walks to the bench just across the tiny path and sits there, putting his hand out to signal Jeno to stay where he is. "I'm going to use my phone," is all Mark says and then pulls it out of his pocket.
Jeno's job is to shadow Mark so he pulls his phone out too and frantically calls Donghyuck to ask about Jisung.
"Aren't you working now? Concentrate on your work! We're all fine, Renjun and Jisung are eating ice cream at Jaemin's apartment right now."
"Jaemin?" Jeno whispers, making sure Mark can't hear anything.
"Yeah, opened the door for us when I showed up with Jisung because he wasn't answering his phone. Turns out, he broke it in the morning and was trying to fix it. Renjun came later when I called him and just shoved Jaemin out of the house to go to an actual phone shop to repair it."
Okay, so Jaemin was not in any trouble whatsoever, so two out of five are doing great. If Jeno includes himself, that is half of the pack doing great but Jeno isn't sure if he is confident in adding himself to the equation of "great".
"I'm on break" Jeno glances at Mark who is on his phone, scrolling away.
"Lunch break? Now? Isn't that too late? Oh my gosh, should I call the ministry of manpower to sue Genesis or somethi-"
"No, like, in general."
"A general break! Oh my gosh! Renjun! Jisung! Get a load of this! Jeno says he is on break! At 2.45 p.m. in the afternoon and it's not the compulsory lunch break! During work hours! Renjun, did you hear me?" Donghyuck shouts and Jeno has to pull his ear away from the phone.
Jeno hears Renjun shout back an "impossible!" and Jisung shouts something along the lines of "no way!" and Jeno has no idea if he should feel offended or not. It does seem to lift the mood a little as he hears Jisung laughing in the background and Jeno cannot believe the mood was easily solved by simply taking a break.
The call ends with Donghyuck reassuring Jeno that everything is alright and there really is nothing to worry about. True, this isn't the worst-case scenario. Many other things have gone wrong before including Jisung's family declaring bankrupt just after Jisung's first university semester and Jeno had to call his parents for financial help. Other things like Donghyuck kicked out of his house the moment he presented as an omega in an all-alpha household and stayed with Jeno's family until the end of high school and got into university through a scholarship. Other things include Jaemin getting into a car crash and fighting for his life in the hospital and Jeno waiting in the hospital's hallway, clutching Jaemin's favourite hoodie for comfort and on a phone call with Jaemin's parents who were travelling at the time.
So really, it could definitely be much worse, Jeno has 100% dealt way worse.
A sigh leaves Jeno's mouth and he looks up to the clear blue sky. He takes in the air of freshly cut grass once again, then the scent of the ocean and lemongrass washes over his senses and he closes his eyes. It feels warm, somewhere between sitting by the beach and laying on the grass. A weird combination for sure and yet Jeno feels at peace when he slowly drifts to sleep.
Holy shit, Jeno almost fell asleep.
Jeno jolts up and immediately an apology is on his lips but stops himself when he sees Mark had changed from a sitting position to a lying one. Mark has his forearm shielding his eyes and his legs hanging loosely on the other side of the bench. His head somehow rests comfortably on the wooden bench and Jeno has half the heart to tell Mark to bring a pillow next time as a joke.
Mark peeks from behind his arm and gets up from the bench. "Shall we go?" Mark chirps and keeps a light bounce with every step he takes. Jeno is on his feet in less than a second to catch up with Mark as they make their way back to the office.
Jeno ends his second day of work 40 minutes after his clock out time and takes a taxi to Jaemin's apartment. He notes how he had a much busier day and yet still left work at the same time as his first day of work. His mind wanders to the light breeze at the tiny park, not really a park, behind the factory and his wolf feels at peace again.
Thankfully things settle down from there.
At Jaemin's apartment, Jeno assures Jisung that he shouldn't feel guilty for messing up a presentation. "But I'm using your parents' money!" Jisung cries out of guilt and stress. Jeno looks at the calendar and sighs at the realisation that Jisung is going through a pre-rut and knows he is in for a long night. Jaemin and Donghyuck are taking care of Chenle and Renjun in the other room. "The omegas can take care of the two betas, you can have an alpha to alpha cuddle time with Jisung or something," Donghyuck says when he pushes Jeno to the guest room where Jisung was curled up into a corner.
The third day of work and the few weeks after are about the same.
More work is slowly falling onto Jeno's laps and Mark tells Jeno that it's a sign that Taeyong trusts him. With a pat on the back and a "ask if you have any questions!", Jeno grits his teeth and powers through work after work without any complaints as he always does. It's tiring and Jeno is slowly losing steam and feels upset at his incapability in keeping up with everyone.
A month and a half later, Mark gets up abruptly from his desk at 3.04 p.m. and looks at Jeno.
"Let's go for a walk!"
At this point, it isn't Jeno's job to shadow Mark anymore. More individual tasks have been given to Jeno and he is now responsible for pulling his own weight for the team. While everyone else is his senior, on paper they are technically the same rank although Jeno is sure his salary is the lowest. So Jeno could say no to the walk, his mountain of work mocking his hesitation because he has no time for a walk.
But the peaceful air together with Mark's kind and soothing scent of the ocean and lemongrass tempts Jeno and before he is aware, Jeno is already out the door with Mark in front of him.
They take a walk outside the office building. Mark is leading Jeno somewhere in between other tall and fancy office buildings. Mark is slow and Jeno's natural walking speed is cut in half as he takes half steps in order not to overtake Mark. The sun is out there in the sky, the rays are prickly against the skin and sweat is gathering under his armpits. But still, Jeno finds it relaxing to walk on the sidewalk next to buildings after buildings.
"Is everything alright?" Mark asks as he picks up two pebbles and tries to juggle them.
"Maybe?" Jeno answers honestly. Mark has been asking him the same question occasionally. During lunch breaks, when they leave work together, when Mark sees Jeno enter the same train. Yet, Jeno could never find himself lying and answers with honesty even if he can never elaborate on any answer, especially when Jeno says “no, everything is not alright.”
Mark hums and seems satisfied with it. He tries juggling the pebbles but drops both and then picks only one pebble and tosses it around easily.
"I'm bad at juggling. One pebble is so easy but the moment I add a second, I end up dropping both." Mark pouts and Jeno nods slowly, not sure where the conversation is going.
"I think you're a pretty great juggler." Mark continues and Jeno is utterly confused.
"Oh, I don’t think so though." Jeno stops and picks up three pebbles on the ground and starts juggling them while standing on the spot. Mark stops and turns around to watch Jeno juggle the pebbles easily.
"You can juggle with two more stones than me so naturally, I think it makes you an amazing juggler." Mark grabs one of the pebbles that Jeno had tossed in the air and smiles. "So I'm not wrong Jeno, you are a pretty great juggler."
Jeno has a feeling Mark isn't just talking about pebbles anymore but doesn't quite get the conversation. Still, Mark is nice and smiles knowingly. They continue walking and end up making a circle around the area and are back in the office 10 minutes later. When they get back into the office, no one looks up, not even Taeyong tells them off for slacking and going out of the office to walk.
Jeno ends his work by clocking out 10 minutes later than his work hours and it's the earliest Jeno has ever left work.
Within the pack, things are looking up.
Chenle is still arguing with his parents but other than that, he is back to his usual self. Jisung studies as hard as he always does, Donghyuck graduates with honours and finds a job at a hospital, a 20-minute train ride from Jeno’s workplace and they meet up for dinner often. “My job is to test human liquids to see if they have certain illnesses but it’s cool when I tell people I work at a hospital, no?” Jeno agrees because when Jeno updates his parents about Donghyuck, they are elated and proud of their pseudo-son. Jaemin gets into medical school and yells in happiness to Jeno when he received the news. Renjun is still working from home as a part time 3D-model designer while on his last semester of college. He had completely recovered from the breakup after Donghyuck proposes to throw flour at his ex-boyfriend.
“Junnie you must roughly know his schedule, right? Or at least where he lives?”
Renjun does know where his ex lives and the pack camp outside his apartment with eggs, flour, milk, butter, sugar, and baking powder. Needless to say, Renjun’s ex walks out of his house and gets hit with ingredients for pancakes. Jeno snaps a picture for good measure and they run away laughing as if half of them aren’t adults with actual jobs.
So his pack is thriving, at the moment. On average, everyone is living a great life and Jeno should be thriving as well.
He isn’t.
There is an awkward gap between him and Jaemin now for some reason. As if Jaemin is contemplating over something and leaving Jeno behind. Maybe Jaemin is sick of waiting for Jeno to prove himself as worthy and is considering finding someone else. Perhaps that is what will make Jaemin, maybe someone else could make Jaemin happy. Jeno is not one to break his rules and if Jaemin distancing himself these days will keep him happy, Jeno will do his best to maintain that distance himself to keep Jaemin happy.
Also bothering Jeno is the amount of work he has to do. There is a deadline approaching but the higher-ups are rejecting every proposal possible and changing their minds over things that had once been approved. It is tiring and Jeno has been clocking out later and later by the weekdays, cancelling dinner plans with Donghyuck for the sake of working overtime. Even on weekends as Jeno listens to Renjun rant about his awful client for disrespecting graphic designers and about juggling his finals submission, Jeno’s mind keeps thinking about what changes he has to make when he goes back to work.
Again, it always happens out of the blue when Mark randomly gets up and turns to Jeno.
“Jeno! Let’s go grab bubble tea!”
Jeno looks around the office and everyone is giving out their orders in a heartbeat. “Earl grey milk tea with pearls 50% sugar, thanks,” “Mark get me taro milk tea with pearls 50% sugar too!” “Jeno I want brown sugar fresh milk tea with pearls, 25%,” “regular milk tea with pearls 100% sugar, thank you, boys.”
“100% sugar? Taeyong you’re crazy,” Ten comments.
Taeyong shrugs and no one points out that they are still crushed for time and they have so much work that two people heading to the bubble tea shop is honestly a waste of time. But Taeyong is Jeno’s superior and if his boss wants to get his bubble tea in 100% sugar, Jeno nods his head and listens as he always does.
Once again Jeno follows Mark closely behind, matching Mark’s pace unconsciously getting used to the slow steps Mark seems to take. Sure, steady, slow, words that just seem to encompass who Mark is. Even though Jeno is not too sure if slow is the right adjective when Mark seems to be one of the quickest in getting work done. Steady and sure of himself is very fitting though and with the slow steps that Mark takes to the bubble tea, Jeno thinks his description of Mark kind of still works.
They take their time to the bubble tea shop and Mark helps to order for everyone, “Jeno?” “Oh, right. Pearly milk tea with 25% sugar.” And as they wait for the bubble tea orders, Mark asks Jeno a question as he always does.
“Is everything alright?”
At this point, Jeno has heard Mark’s kind and caring voice asking him this same question for the 54th time in the past three months. Jeno’s answers have been pretty honest every time, answering no when he truly feels like his life is not going the way it should be. But when Mark asks if Jeno wants to talk about it more about it, Jeno keeps his mouth shut and shakes his head. He feels grateful for the space Mark always gives him whether it be about work or Jeno’s personal health status. It feels like Mark just knows how to give Jeno that place to explore and be the safe landing if Jeno screws up at work.
But right now, his body genuinely feels like it might explode any time so instead of answering, Jeno cries at the bubble tea shop.
No, the funniest part about the situation is that Jeno is not actually sad enough to be crying. But his rut is in about a week and he needs to finish his work before his three days leave. The stress of keeping up with everyone who is miles ahead of him and his emotional hormonal imbalance of some sort clouds his head as tears spill. The thing is, Chenle cries a lot, Jisung cries even more than Chenle, Renjun and Jaemin cry when someone else cries, and Donghyuck cries at sad movies and on difficult days. So Jeno has nothing against crying when his pack are full of big criers. “Crying helps regulate the emotions!” Renjun shouts when Yangyang asks why Jeno’s pack cries so much so often.
But Jeno is not one to cry, at least for the past 10 years or so. Because crying meant he needed to explain the reason behind his tears and that would break rule number one. Because crying meant he was not doing good enough and his body is unable to keep up with greatness, breaking rule number two. And worst of them all, Jaemin would be devastated seeing Jeno cry, ruining the reason why Jeno have rules in the first place.
Mark knows nothing about Jeno’s rules or why this crying session is the most out of character for Jeno. Not only is the fact that Jeno is crying, but Jeno is crying in public with the bubble tea baristas worriedly looking over from behind the counter. There is a sort of shame that creeps into Jeno as the tears fall freely and he really wants to run away. Instead, Mark looks into Jeno in the eyes.
“Can I hug you?”
Yes, holy bloody shit yes oh my gosh Jeno needed a hug as if his life depended on it. So Jeno nods and Mark gives him a warm hug. Somehow Mark manages to collect their drinks and continue patting Jeno’s back at the same time. Jeno doesn’t know how Mark does it but the ocean and lemongrass bring Jeno to the beach, to the park, to the sand, to the flower field, to Jaemin.
Oh gosh, Jeno misses Jaemin so much.
“Who is Jaemin?”
Apparently, Jeno had been muttering about how much he misses Jaemin so much in that hug that he doesn’t realise he had been, well, muttering how much he misses Jaemin.
“My best friend.”
“Friend?”
Jeno hesitates, because sure, everyone knows. Everyone and their mothers know how smitten Jeno is with Jaemin. How he has been in love with the same person for the past 10 years. It is also true that Mark knows nothing about Jeno other than friendly small talks that is more like Jeno answering with three words and Mark babbling on about random facts he had read online. “Yeah, friend,” is all Jeno can muster before he starts tearing up again.
“You like him.”
“I love him with my life.”
Mark nods his head and pats Jeno’s head. Honestly, it does look a little weird considering that Jeno is about a centimetre and a half taller than Mark but it feels comforting and Jeno will take it. He has already cried his eyes out in public, tell Mark about his undying love for Jaemin, and cause the ice in the bubble tea to melt on this hot summer day. So who the hell cares at this point if Jeno looks like an idiot receiving head pats from someone slightly shorter than him.
Telling Mark that he is in love with Jaemin is definitely different from his pack looking him in the eye and just knowing that he is very much in love with Jaemin. It was as if verbalising his emotions just creates some sort of understanding in his head even though he has always known. It was never a secret, not even to Jaemin and yet, telling it to Mark just gives Jeno the surge of emotions that he just. It feels real. It feels that he truly, genuinely-
Jeno loves Jaemin.
That day, drinking his bubble tea, Jeno works overtime for two hours, the latest he has ever left the office. But instead of feeling the usual tiredness and dread, Jeno looks to the sky and remembers his favourite scent of mandarin orange, mint and a tinge of caramel where not even Donghyuck can smell that tiny bit of caramel. It gives him that sense of motivation and he calls Jaemin and tells him about Mark.
Jaemin is elated to hear about it because Jeno never talks about anything related to his work. Always answering with a few words that give the impression that nothing goes on at work even though Jeno is very much swamped. When Jaemin asks what kind of person Mark is, Jeno says he is kind, caring, and perhaps the closest thing to a role model.
“A role model?”
Actually, where did that thought come from?
It’s the verbalising emotions thing again. Jeno has never thought about it actually, but perhaps subconsciously he has? From the silent mentorship that Mark gives Jeno throughout his time working here. Not one to interfere with Jeno’s work but still being there as a guiding light when Jeno felt stuck. And for some reason, Mark knows when Jeno feels like falling. It was as if Mark knows when Jeno was swimming in darkness, on the verge of drowning in his thoughts and guilt of wanting to be better. He knows and magically always brings Jeno out of his thoughts by dragging him out to do errands. Walk around the factory aimlessly for no reason. Getting bubble tea and filling his body with sugar and pearls.
“Yeah, I really look up to him.”
Jaemin is happy for Jeno and tells him that he wants to stay over at Jeno’s apartment. Jeno is not one to refuse Jaemin because Jaemin is happy and all Jeno wants to do is to keep Jaemin happy. So Jeno opens the door for Jaemin and listens to Jaemin brightly talk about his day as he always does. Except for this time, Jeno shares about Mark’s ocean and lemongrass scent and the oddness of not knowing his secondary gender. He talks about Mark’s kindness and even shares about him crying on Mark’s shoulder.
Honestly, he expected Jaemin to give him that sad teary eyes, his scent would sour from feeling guilty for not noticing Jeno’s sadness. Instead, he receives a soft smile from Jaemin, an “I’m so proud of you Jeno” and he doesn’t understand what that means but Jeno has warm feelings overwhelm his soul and he pulls Jaemin into a hug as thanks. They stay there and Jeno falls asleep with his nose buried in Jaemin’s shoulder with the smell of mandarin orange, mint and a tinge of caramel.
In a way, Jeno was happy for the turn of events that happen two weeks later.
Because Mark ends up finding his way into Jeno’s personal life in the form of matchmaking.
No, it wasn’t with Jeno because everyone in the entire world knows about his consistent love for Jaemin. It wasn’t with Jaemin either because everyone knows about Jeno’s undying love for Jaemin. It comes in the form of Donghyuck and his usual hair salon.
It was truly a small world for Mark’s mum to have sat next to Donghyuck that day. It was an impulse decision on Donghyuck to decide to chop his hair and it was the first time Mark’s mother had visited this specific salon. So Jeno takes in the fact that perhaps Mark entering his life outside of his workplace as part of fate and accepts it with open arms. Maybe it would be nice to see Mark more often and take part in activities that aren’t burying their heads in car designs and taking walks to the bubble tea shop for a crying session.
Donghyuck had called Jeno that he could not get out of a matchmaking session and Jeno was ready to jump at whoever forced Donghyuck until the omega shakes his head.
“No, I wasn’t forced. The lady was just so, how do I say this? Like I was just so sucked into her talking I just agreed to see her alpha son for a date and the next thing I knew, I gave her my number and now I have a date on Saturday.”
So Jeno and Jisung as the only alphas of the pack are stationed at another table to step in if anything goes wrong. Jaemin and Renjun are on phone duty in case an emotional problem occurs and requires the art of comforting an omega. They have two cups of untouched coffee on the table and a laptop as a cover when Jeno watches Mark walk into the cafe.
Jeno was about to beckon Mark over, tell him what a coincidence and then point to Donghyuck and tell him about the matchmaking saga only to see him wearing exactly the description of Donghyuck’s date. Immediately Jeno ducks his head and watches Mark scan over the cafe and walks towards Donghyuck with a confident stride.
Wait, Mark is an alpha?
Huh, Mark is an alpha. That makes sense.
The date seems to be going well as Jeno smells Donghyuck’s jasmine and chocolate scent become progressively sweeter with each minute that passes by. The usual calming ocean and lemongrass start to react more and Jeno imagines waves that crash against the sand and an entire farm dedicated to growing lemongrass. It means that they are both equally invested in the date and Jeno had nothing to worry about.
This is Mark and if any alpha were to impress the once student council president in high school, the once volleyball captain in university, it would definitely be Mark. Jeno recalls Mark probably has a more outstanding portfolio in school than Donghyuck and that is a sure-fire of getting Donghyuck interested because in his words “capable men are hot Jeno. That’s why you’re hot, duh!”
Jeno goes to the bathroom and leaves a message to Jaemin and Renjun about the smooth date that is happening. That the emergency ice cream session would most likely not be needed. Jeno then private messages Jaemin to tell him about Mark and Jaemin replies rapidly with a “so he is an alpha! I told you Jeno!”
The bathroom door opens and there stands Mark looking straight at Jeno with a smile.
“I thought I smelled someone familiar.”
Jeno is about to drop his phone into the sink and brush it off as some sort of coincidence but if the date continues to do well, Mark would know about Donghyuck’s relationship with Jeno and Jeno does not want to be a liar, especially not to someone who he looks up to and has been helping him with his work and-
“I already asked Donghyuck if he knew you so don’t worry about it.”
And as usual, Mark is the smoothest wolf on all of the earth and probably a master of reading Jeno’s mind and general mental health.
Mark walks out of the bathroom, clearly telling Jeno that he came in just to find Jeno. When Jeno leaves the bathroom, Mark and Donghyuck are clearly immersed in their own world that Jisung watches them almost dazed. In the end, Jeno had to shake Jisung to bring him back to earth and leave the cafe without knowing if Mark was lucky to know his pseudo-brother or if Donghyuck was lucky to know his newly established role model.
There is an interesting way that the others in his pack get drawn to Mark. His steady presence lets everyone just accept him before they realise they already had and then get confused at how Mark just ended up knowing about everything there is to know in their life.
Not Jeno though because he never shares his complaints but Jeno finds himself going to the gym with Mark to release all the stress that has piled up and honestly? Best suggestion Jeno has ever taken in his life and of course, the suggestion comes from Mark Lee. So Jeno takes the stress-filled complaints that he has and punches the punching bag with all his life. Johnny, Mark’s original only gym buddy actually flinches when Jeno’s punches get louder and louder.
“You good?” Johnny asks and Jeno nods with his signature eye smile that Jaemin loves so much.
So when Chenle comes to Jeno with the news that his parents might stop paying for his university so that he has no choice but to fly back to Shanghai, Jeno feels like breaking. He can’t solve this like how he did with Jisung because he can’t just pressure his parents to pay for another person’s university fees. He may be a working adult but it’s not like he has enough savings to help cover for a semester. Donghyuck and Renjun are at Jeno’s house trying to see if they can split the fee among the three of them for Chenle when Donghyuck’s phone lights up.
Mark and Donghyuck aren’t quite together but the courting has already started. Donghyuck received a miniature wooden house with carved furniture inside with two boys sitting on the floor chatting. It looks like Mark had essentially carved their future together into physical wood and now it sits on Donghyuck’s bedside table carefully wrapped in plastic so that it never gets dirty. Donghyuck had given Mark a silver bracelet that looked way too good for it to be handmade. Except, Jeno had witnessed Donghyuck painstakingly design and create the bracelet from scratch and Jeno sees Mark wear that bracelet every day at work.
When Jisung asks why Donghyuck didn’t give a necklace like most omegas when they have to return an accessory, Donghyuck says that Mark can see the bracelet at every moment of the day compared to a necklace. It is cheesy, Jisung looks absolutely disgusted but Jeno knows how much Mark adores it and looks at it.
The message on Donghyuck’s phone is from Mark who has heard of the situation from Chenle himself. Even though Mark was not part of the pack (yet), it seems like even Chenle trusts him enough to share about his family situation.
It won’t be horrible if Chenle goes back to Shanghai. His parents treat him well and love him, plus, Chenle is a smart kid and would succeed in whatever he decides to pursue there. So truly, it isn’t exactly the end of the world. But Chenle is sentimental, loves his current pack, and is a little sun that no one else can ever replicate. It seems like Mark understands that because he just tells texts Donghyuck with an “about Chenle? Don’t worry about it.”
Jeno would have still worried about it if this happened seven months ago. But this is Mark, his senior at work who still asks “is everything alright?” just as he always has. Pulling Jeno to trips to buy snacks for the others or lie on the bench behind the factory. Going to gym sessions together to sweat it out and let their stressed-out selves out on the punching bag. So for the first time, Jeno thinks that this is exactly it. His pack is doing great because Mark comes in and saves the day just like that.
Turns out, it wasn’t money that solved the problem.
Chenle tells Jeno excitedly that Mark had phoned Chenle’s parents and talked to them. Beyond the shouting matches through the phone, Chenle had realised how much his parents had simply missed him and his mother was having the worst of the empty nest syndrome. Mark had been patient when Chenle’s mum started yelling in mandarin and Chenle could not translate the extreme rambling. Instead, Mark pulls out a paper and tries his best to talk to Chenle’s parents in an awkward accented mandarin to let them see how Chenle’s pack needs him here.
The perspective was what hit them. Chenle had been convincing his parents how much he wanted to be here while Mark explained how much the pack wanted Chenle around.
Mark offered the solution of Chenle visiting home more often. “Or come visit here!” Mark chirps happily and Chenle’s parents almost don’t catch it because of Mark’s awful pronunciation. Chenle yells into the phone that he would love to bring them around Korea and eat lots of good food. It seemed to have solved the conflict and there was no need for Jeno to scrape every penny needed to keep Chenle around.
To be very honest, Jeno feels like he was incapable. To the point of envying Mark for coming up with something as simple as this when everyone else was in a state of panic. He felt even more guilty when he finds himself very obviously avoiding Mark at work and when the pack goes to hang out together. He really hates how incapable he is and the green monster in him grows with every second he sees Chenle happily clinging onto Mark.
“You’re a good juggler Jeno, I’ve told you that right?”
They are out on a bubble tea run but for the first time, it wasn’t Mark’s suggestion but Taeyong’s. And because Jeno is a good listener, he obeys without a thought even though his guilt, envy, and extreme awkwardness are evident in his scent.
“You can juggle three pebbles while I can only throw one pebble even though I have two hands.”
Jeno keeps quiet because he has no idea how else to respond and follows Mark behind. Slow, steady and sure, Mark steps continue to be what they have always been.
“I’m jealous of that skill you know?”
Jeno stops moving so Mark stops and turns around.
One more time, in the middle of whatever sidewalk they are on, Jeno cries.
“You’re such a great juggler, you can do many things Jeno. You’re able to keep yourself afloat even if you think it’s barely enough. I think it’s great, no, I think you’re absolutely amazing.”
Jeno hugs Mark and cries into his shoulder. And as always, Mark’s scent is peaceful and relaxing to Jeno’s wolf. There is no need for his primal instincts to be awakened to fight the alpha, there is no anxiousness clouding his mind anymore. Jeno thinks of the sea, the sand, the lemongrass, the farm, the freshly cut grass, and then as he always has, he thinks of Jaemin.
“You’re really great at juggling, you should show off that skill!” Mark pulls away from the hug and continues walking to the bubble tea shop with a steady and slow pace, so sure of himself.
Rule number one consists of never complaining and so Jeno never does. He still doesn’t despite knowing how it can affect his well-being so he does the silent way out but lifting weights at the gym.
Rule number two consists of never settling for anything less. Jeno keeps his pack in check, always looking out for each and every one of them to ensure they are doing great.
Rule number three consists of making Jaemin happy.
So Jeno carves a wooden figurine of a man holding a tiny shaped house, a boy who looks awfully like Jaemin, and a baby.
When Jaemin receives it, he screams, cries and then launches into a hug. He screams something along the lines of “I was this close to giving up but my omega only yearned for you” but Jeno isn’t listening when he is smacked with an overwhelming sweetness of mandarin oranges, mint, and a tinge of caramel.
“Does the house represent our pack?” Jaemin asks with their legs tangled under the sheets. Jeno shakes his head and tells Jaemin something he had been thinking about ever since Mark and Donghyuck had begun officially dating just three weeks ago.
“Do you remember my rules?”
Jaemin nods.
“Rule number two says to never settle for anything less.”
Jaemin nods again.
“And I honestly want to focus on juggling you, our future family, and my job. That’s three things on my plate and I don’t think I can take on more.”
Jaemin furrows his eyebrows, Jeno has never talked so much in his life. Not even the time Jeno had first shared about Mark and the bubble tea run.
“Jaemin, I want you to be happy and I want to be the one that makes you feel happy,” Jeno leans in and kisses Jaemin on the lips.
Jaemin closes his eyes and flutters them open once Jeno’s lips have left and nods again.
“What do you think of Mark being pack alpha?”