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“Care to explain what that was all about?” Alexander asked, hands gripping the steering wheel tighter than they normally would.
Phillip only shrugged, he was avoiding his father's gaze, seeming more interested in the window to his right. He was taller than Alexander now, limbs too long to fit comfortably even on the front seat, one had gripping the car’s handle while the rest of his body sprayed over the seat.
Alexander didn’t want to change his gaze from the road either.
“I get called by the headmaster, who tells me that my kid got into a fight. A fight that he started.”
Him and his Dad didn’t get into fights quite often, but he knew damn well how to recognize when his father was mad, and that was primarily by his voice.
“And you don't even want to tell me why you got into a fight in the first place.”
“I already said I'm sorry” he mumbled, feeling his eyes watering at the lecture. This had been a day.
“I am not asking for an apology, I’m asking for an explanation!” He screamed, louder than the situation required. Phillip flinched a little at that, and then clenched his jaw.
“Phillip, talk to me.” Alexander surrendered and maybe that’s what broke Phillip the most, maybe that’s what made him talk.
“He was saying things” he mumbled, barely audible, but Alex knew how to hear mumbles, Phillip looked a lot like John, but that’s not where the resemblance stopped. Alexander had learned how to talk to his husband and son, how to get the words out of them.
Small steps.
“What was he saying?” Alex asked, calmer now.
Philip got quiet, sighed and said “It was about Dad and you”
Huh.
“He called you guys a slur and I-” Phillip stopped, because if he kept going, he’d probably start crying. He took a deep breath and continued. “You guys are my family, I can’t just let people talk shit about you”
And Alexander knows he should be relieved, he at least got an answer from Philip as to why he got into a fight, but when the truth is revealed he couldn’t help but get a feeling of Deja Vu. This is it, his son dying all over again just to protect some stupid family pride.
“Philip, I dont give a shit about pride.”
Phillip perked up at that, turning to his father for the first time since they got in the car to find glazed eyes looking at the road.
“You and Frances are the most important things in my life.” he said with a cracked voice.
“What about Dad?” He asked with half a laugh
“He’s getting there” Alexander smiled but got serious when he said: “You can drag my name through the mud, for all I care, if it means to keep you and your sister safe.”
Phillip looked puzzled at that “But you always talk about our family with pride, about our name-”
“Phillip, you are my name. If you are happy with being my son, that’s more than enough for me.”
They stayed silent for a while, until Alexander decided to add. “It’s not worth it, getting into fights. Now it's a black eye, but later…” He drifted off. Silence filled the car.
“People are gonna talk, Pip. It’s your decision if you let the words sting.”
They got closer to home now. Alexander parked outside their garage.
“I’m sorry” Phillip mumbled again.
“Don’t be” Alexander fully turned to look at his son. Honestly, when did he grow so much? “You did what you thought would be right” His dad grabbed his hands, and Phillip did what was in his power to avoid his gaze.
“Look at me.” Alex said and squeezed his hands. “I’m proud of you, you don’t have to do anything to make me proud because I already am and always will be.”
Tears were already streaming down, from both sides.
It took a while to get out of the car, and when they finally did Phillip said.
“Only one to go''.” He sighed “Dad’s gonna kill me isn't he?”
“Yup.”