Work Text:
sapnap scrolled through his twitter homepage tediously.
some tweets from his fans speculating about the karlnap meetup really entertained him - seeing how people were excited about it as much as him made him feel happy, but there were also the shitty tweets that made sapnap ask himself why the delay on getting to the airport.
he checked the time again. he was waiting for karl for about half an hour from the time his friend said he would arrive. great!
sapnap finally found time to go visit karl at north carolina and make both subtwts happy. and nick was happy for himself, but also, a little bit - no, a lot - terrified.
the fact that he and karl have known each other for maybe a year but just gonna see each other in person now made him go crazy . like what if karl doesn’t like the person who sapnap is irl? or what if he expected something else, something better?
but then he tried to calm himself, remembering that karl is a great person, one of the bests people sapnap has ever met, and he wouldn’t judge nick that much.
the turbulent and distressed thoughts were erased by his phone ring. karl was calling him.
“hey, man. where are you?” the boy’s voice traveled by the device to sapnap’s ear. “i’m at the parking lot.”
“i’m waiting for you!” nick said, already preparing his bags to start walking with them.
“where?”
“it doesn’t matter, i’m going to you.” he didn’t want to sound frustrated, even though he was a little bit because of the waiting.
“hum, sorry for my delay, by the way. i had uh- to stop somewhere to buy something and the traffic today is-“
“no worries.” sapnap breathed under his shaky steps, a little bit because of the anxiety of meeting his friend, a little from the fact that he was carrying two suitcases and one bag alone, almost running. “i have to hang up, but see you soon.”
“you will.” sapnap could feel karl smiling through his voice on the phone. “this is gonna be awesome.”
and then nothing else was said, because the call ended.
•
he was there. karl was there.
leaning against a white car, wearing his signature colorful sweater and his beige pants that sapnap always thought fit him. his long, wavy bangs basically covered his eyes as he fiddled with his phone. and he was real .
sapnap approached karl without making a presence, a smile surging on his lips a little more each step. he didn’t know what to do or how to act, but his mind traveled through the euphoria he was feeling at that moment.
god, karl was here. they were here, finally .
the blue eyes met dark brown when the tall boy’s head turned up. and it was like the whole world froze. even sapnap stood still on his feet.
and karl smiled. and nick’s smile just got bigger. and karl almost ran in his direction so they were finally in front of each other.
but none of them said anything.
karl wasn’t so much taller than him, but still a feel centimeters. his cheeks were so pinky and his little freckles showed up at that. even a little dimple sapnap had never noticed before where there, which appeared more and more every time karl’s smile showed.
“hi.” nick said, but he didn’t even have time to think before karl pulled him closer and hugged him tight.
he felt soft, his skin, his clothes. and he smelled like vanilla perfume and strawberries. if sapnap wasn’t fully aware of his actions, he would happily sink his face into the crook of karl's neck and smell that forever.
that thought felt strange, but it didn’t go away.
he could feel karl’s hands squish his back and the taller boy breathed. “you’re here.”
it was a whisper. so low that anyone who might have been close wouldn't be able to hear it.
“i am.” sapnap responded.
•
“i got your favorite snack.” karl proudly said as both of them were inside the car, karl was in the driver’s seat, sapnap beside him, the bags and stuff on the back.
“no shot.”
“yep, hot doritos, marshmallows and gatorade.” he said while pulling up a supermarket bag from nowhere, filled with snacks and some drinks for them. “that’s what i had to buy on my way to pick you up.”
“you really do know me well.”
“of course.”
“thanks.”
“no problem, i imagined y’would be hungry and all.”
“i am.” he smiled and opened a bag of doritos, tasting the hot flavored chips in his tongue and he offered karl one.
•
spending time with karl was awesome . it was so much better and funnier than nick would ever expect. they spent a lot of time watching cartoons and animes, also some movies they said they should see together before, they went to the supermarket at midnight sometimes (maybe too many times) to buy junk food, food in general, energy drinks, and just to hang around. skating, planning youtube and twitch stuff, visiting parks, staying bored together at the couch on their phones.
even the streams were fun, and the fandom’s reaction was so much better than both of them could have expected. everyone was happy, and in a short period of days, that insecurity sapnap felt before about karl didn’t like him enough went away.
he started to notice the little things about karl that made him even more beautiful and sapnap couldn’t help but be everyday more and more comfortable with his friend. like the way his eyes lit up when he was talking about something he was really passionate about, or the way he played with his own hair when he felt shy or nervous.
they made the pokemon stream, a cooking stream, fnaf vr stream, buying things on amazon, wii sports stream, and a bunch of other cool stuff and youtube content the fans asked for. it was all too perfect.
until it wasn’t.
because another insecurity joined sapnap’s mind. the insecurity about maybe having a crush on his friend.
because karl was so nice and sapnap admired all he did so much, and his personality, and his style, and the fact that he was touchy. something sapnap never had been, but he was starting to feel comfortable with karl, even on streams, and seeing their fans tweeting about it made him feel butterflies up his stomach everytime “karlnap” was trending on the bird app.
and because karl had to have a soft and fluffy hair, and he had to bury his face onto nick’s chest every time they watched animes together. karl had to hold hands with sapnap walking down the streets sidewalk while midnight. or to sleep with his head on nick’s shoulder in the car on the way to jimmy’s or chris’ house.
or worse: he had to say a ‘good night i love you’ every time they separated themselves to go sleep in their own bedrooms.
and sapnap knew he meant an ‘i love you’ in a ‘i love you like a friend and i’m happy we’re here together now’ way. even though, his mind couldn’t forget how nice it was to hear that, or forget how maybe was to feel like hearing that in another way.
•
“i think i’ll grab something to drink. do you want anything?” karl asked before clumsily getting up from the big and gray couch.
they were, once again in the living room, watching demon slayer for god knows which time together. the lights were off, and only the tv’s lights illuminated the room.
sapnap looked away from the tv and looked at karl, rubbing against the empty space his friend left between pillows and blankets.
“no, i’m good”
“okay then.”
not too much time after that, karl was back with a glass of something that seemed like apple juice.
he drank the rest of the cup and put it on the desk in front of the couch. so then karl went back to his place.
which was sapnap’s chest.
there wasn’t any No Homo space between them, and once again, sapnap could smell that strawberry smell that came from karl’s hair, now together with something that felt like pillows and sleep.
nick wouldn’t deny it (maybe just for karl), but he leaned down a bit and slightly rested his chin on karl’s soft, fragrant hair.
“i can feel your heart.” he heard a whisper coming from the boy snuggled into his chest. just a whisper, maybe a mumble.
“is it beating?” sapnap felt his cheeks heat up. he tried to breathe deeply when karl’s hand reached his belly, but karl would feel that.
“of course.”
“i’m glad it is.” god, why was the room starting to feel hot?
“it’s fast, though.” karl looked up for a moment. he looked straight in sapnap’s dark and wide open eyes. he wished karl wouldn’t notice him blushing. “why is it fast?”
no one was paying attention to demon slayer anymore.
“humm, i guess i’m an energetic guy.” sapnap tried to lie, maybe even to himself. because he knew and also felt his heart racing in nervousness for the fact that karl was practically laying on top of him.
“good for you, because i’m so god damn sleepy.” karl basically yawned that sentence. he didn’t even think about it that much while cuddling even more in sapnap’s chest.
and even if sapnap felt a bit still unaccustomed with the amount of physical touch, and by the fact that he was every minute more scared of this little crush he was creating for karl, he also seemed very chill about it.
because, thinking in another way, he felt good at the thought that karl might be that comfortable with him because he thinks sapnap’s arms are a safe place, because he’s with someone that truly knows him and will never judge him.
without even a command, nick’s hand reached the brunette’s hair and his fingers ran through karl’s fluffy locks. karl looked so peaceful while sleeping, sapnap smiled at that statement.
and there was peace at the room again.
•
sapnap woke up to the noise of something playing on a tv, and also the shiny lights that came from the screen.
he rubbed his tired eyes with his hand, his vision gradually stabilized and his memory gradually reconstructed itself. so he remembered.
demon slayer, couch, pillows and blankets, cuddling, sleeping.
and then he felt something moving on his chest. it was karl getting a better position, still asleep, with his hair spread out and hands wrapped around sapnap's waist. nick felt his cheeks heat up again.
he reached his phone from his pocket to check the time. 1:27AM, he must’ve slept for an hour.
sapnap turned off the tv, now the only lights that illuminated the living room were the yellow-ish streetlights from outside the house, sneaking through the gaps in the curtains.
“karl?” the boy softly called for his sleepy friend. “wake up.”
after shaking karl’s shoulder a bit, his friend woke up.
he looked tired, his red eyes looked at sapnap and sapnap smiled.
“we slept. it’s like, one in the morning. let’s go to bed, i’ll help you get there.” nick made sure so his voice wouldn’t be that loud.
“hm hm.”
“is that a yes or a no?”
“no.” he mumbled.
“what?”
“let’s stay heeere.” karl muttered, sort of hummed as he pulled out of sapnap to get another pillow. “i’m comfortable here. it’s nice in here.”
“okay, okay!” nick smiled. he grabbed a bigger blanket for himself and made his way to the end of the couch. he kind of laid his body there, putting his legs along to the other side as karl approached him and jumped beside him, covering his face with his hoodie and soft blanket. even with no air conditioning, the house felt cold as hell at night.
“are you comfortable?” karl asked his friend.
“uhm, yeah.” sapnap turned his head away, shivering from the bare contact of their forearms touching under the covers, even with sweatshirt fabrics on top of them.
“good night then.” karl muttered under his breath, and sapnap couldn’t almost catch it as karl finished his sentence, maybe because of how sleepy he also was. but still, he heard:
“i love you.”
•
“okay chat, that was it!” karl excitedly said goodbye to the camera and waved. “i hope you guys enjoyed the stream and uh, yeah. i think me and my boy here” he wrapped his arm around sapnap’s shoulders “might do another stream tomorrow where we eat spicy food every time we lose at a game that is a surprise.”
sapnap looked at the chat for a split second, just catching a bunch of “awww’s” in caps mixed with “byeee’s”. he asked himself what was the reason for the awwing part, he imagined it was because karl had brought him close by the arm around his shoulders. god, chat was really thirsty for some karlnap move, huh.
they just finished a partnership stream that karl had to make on his alt and sapnap was actually glad it finally ended. not because he wasn’t having fun, but because he was tired.
it was late, and all he wished was to take a quick shower and hop on his bed.
karl thanked for the chat's support and then the “end stream” button was clicked. both of them breathed in relief.
“that was a long one.” karl commented, smiling while getting up. “do you want some food? i thought of ordering sushi or maybe going to that market.”
“right now?” sapnap asked.
“yeah, why not?”
nick didn’t understand how karl still had energy on his body to even think about eating or going outside, but then he looked at the empty monster energy cans left on the pc table.
“i’m tired, karl. i think i’ll shower and sleep. but feel free to order food.”
“no, if you don’t want it, i won’t eat alone.” he turned off his computer and monitors. sapnap maybe didn’t catch it, but something on karl’s voice made him think karl got a little sad. “what about watching something with me then? and then we can sleep while watching it, no big deal.” karl looked at sapnap hopeful, but nick wasn’t excited for the idea.
“uhm, i don’t know if i wanna sleep on the couch again. i think i’ll refuse the request this time.”
“oh, pleeease, nick. it’s alright, we can go watch on my room’s tv then.”
sapnap stopped.
he swallowed.
“i-in your room?”
“yeah, why not?”
sapnap could feel his cheeks heat up once again. he didn’t know exactly why he felt so strange about the ideia. it’s just that he had been in all the rooms in karl’s house, except his own room.
and that felt like a boundary to him, because it was karl’s room, and sleeping in his crush’s room, in his bed, with him , wasn’t common.
karl didn’t wait for another reply, he just grabbed softly nick’s hand and pulled him out of his studio.
•
he showered, put some pijama shirt and sweatpants, brushed his teeth and drank water.
some minutes later, both of them were laying on karl’s bed. adventure time played on the tv and karl settled away from sapnap.
something sapnap quite didn’t understand.
he thought karl would lay his head on his shoulder, or on his chest, or they would cuddle. but the boy was far away from sapnap’s reach.
maybe it was because karl was sad? maybe because he also felt weird sleeping on the same bed as sapnap?
no, it couldn’t be that. it was him the one to invite sapnap to his bed. but maybe he regretted it? either way, nick was starting to feel cold, and maybe the warmth of someone’s body could help him.
“karl?”
“hm?” the response came, but karl didn’t look at sapnap.
“are you okay?”
“yeah, uhm, i’m just gonna sleep now. uhum.” his voice sounded a little bit shaky, sapnap felt like shit. and he didn’t even know why.
“no, you’re not okay.”
he sat on the bed, pulling karl to his side, making his friend have to look at him. and he saw bright tears appearing in the corners of karl’s beautiful blue eyes.
“what happened?” nick’s voice became a lot quieter and softer now, he wiped away karl’s tears with his thumb, the other hand being used to stroke karl’s hair.
“i- i don’t know. i just-“ he bited his lip. “i’m sorry.”
“sorry for what?”
“for making you uncomfortable with my touchy moves on stream, for making you upset all the time. i don’t think i’m a good friend, i keep telling myself that i am, but i just take advantage of you to cuddle with you because i’m a fucking needy person who-“ he stopped himself.
and sapnap was silent and speechless. he couldn’t even imagine what happened in karl’s mind, and he felt awful by the fact that karl, one of the people who he most loved and cared about, though he was upset at him.
“why do you think you make me upset all the time? that’s not true.”
“what?”
“it totally isn’t.” sapnap cupped karl’s rosy and teary cheeks. “karl, i’d never be upset by you. and i don’t hate the fact that you’re touchy, if you ever thought that. it’s just… i’m not used to this, but i don’t hate it.”
“but you always look upset when i hug or touch you on stream and-“
“you know how people are. i just- don’t like the fact that there are 90k people who will aggressively pay attention to all of our physical contacts the entire time we are in front of the camera. i just feel crumpled.”
karl didn’t say anything. he just let more tears out of his eyes, which sapnap cleaned away.
“do you understand me?”
“yes.”
they stayed quiet for a bit, the talking between adventure time characters was the only thing filling the dark room with noise. karl eventually stopped crying, he laid his head on sapnap’s knee, but didn’t do nothing else.
nick grabbed one of the other boy’s hands and softly held onto his own, making circle moves on the back of karl’s cold hand. it felt nice, the silence.
and for once, sapnap was the one caressing karl, not the other way around. and he wasn’t feeling insecure about it.
“karl?”
“hm?” karl’s gaze met sapnap’s and it stayed there.
“can we… cuddle?”
karl froze in his tracks, like a deer in headlights.
sapnap froze too, processing his words a moment too late.
they have cuddled a few times, sure, it wasn’t unheard of or particularly unusual, but they’ve never talked about it. they had never asked.
they looked at each other again for a moment.
sapnap scooted over, unraveling his blankets and folding back his sheets. a silent invitation.
karl slided under the covers, and then froze again.
they had never done this before. before, something had always happened first, an accidental head falling onto a shoulder, or scooting closer, or the unconscious movement of an arm around another torso.
karl lays there, stiff as a board.
sapnap, even with his hazy state of mind, recognizes the awkwardness and lets out a little giggle.
he grabs karl’s shoulder, turning him to face nick. karl scoots down to fit his head under sapnap’s chin. sapnap draped his arm over karl’s back.
karl got the idea after a moment, and readjusts to be more comfortable. an arm came up to cradle sapnap's head, and he tucked his head more securely under sapnap’s chin. their legs tangled together under the blankets, but neither seemed to mind.
“good night.” sapnap muttered, his voice a little sleepy.
“ i love you. ” was the last thing he heard from karl before falling asleep.
•
they were lying in karl's backyard. the only source of light that illuminated them being the lights of the few stars visible in the gloom that was the night sky.
sapnap didn’t even know what time it was, it felt like hours since they were laying there, and he was starting to feel tired.
“karl, i think i’ll go to bed now.” he said while sitting up.
“nooo, it’s too cold. stay here with me.”
sapnap hesitated, but he wasn't that sleepy yet.
he went back to lie down next to karl, his belly up, and karl laid his head on sapnap's chest.
“we should film that skating vlog tomorrow.” sapnap said. he felt karl entwine his waist with his arms and nick couldn’t breathe properly anymore. karl was too god damn close.
“i don’t know if i really wanna do this.”
“why not?”
“uhm, i don’t think i’m that good of a skater.” he muttered softly through sapnap’s chest. he could smell once again that vanilla and strawberry smell that came from karl, spreading along his body.
“i don’t think you’re bad. you know how to skate, karl.”
karl looked up at sapnap. his lips were dangerously parted and very, very close. closer than was allowed. nick couldn’t help but just stare .
and karl smiled. motherfucker .
he was so beautiful under the stars, and sapnap’s eyes got blurry more and more each second.
“you know you have a little dimple on your right cheek that shows when you smile or laugh? i noticed it when we met at the airport and since then i always thought it was cute.” he whispered to karl, trying to distract himself from karl’s pink and inviting lips. it didn’t quite work.
“really?”
“yeah.” he could feel blood rushing through his chest and body. his stomach hurt when he saw the other boy’s cheeks heat up.
they stayed in silence, but still very close, not being able to look away from each other’s eyes. and it hurt, the fact that they were so close and sapnap just wished he could kiss karl hurt .
“ i love you. ” the blue-eyed boy said casually.
and nothing hurt more than that.
“you don’t.”
“i do.”
nick's heart seemed to break, or wither, or rot, anything that symbolizes destruction, because hearing that and knowing that karl didn't love him the way sapnap loved karl hurt .
“you don’t mean it, karl. stop saying that.” sapnap, without caring, sat up on the grass, making karl need to get off his chest.
“what?”
“we don’t love each other in the same way, and hearing you say this hurts as hell.” maybe he was being hard on something not very important. maybe he was hurt about nothing. maybe he was confessing his feelings to his lover without even projecting the words in his mind. nick didn't care. “because i love you too, but you can’t reciprocate the feeling in the same way.”
salty tears rolled down his cheeks and sapnap felt weak, stupid. a fucking crybaby.
he didn’t even want to look at karl, but the other boy pulled his chin up. karl was speechless. his expressive, very blue eyes gleamed in Sapnap's direction, his cheeks flushed from shame and the night's chill looked so soft, his lips- seemingly soft and so irresistible played with nick's mind.
the silence was insurgent.
“can i kiss you?” it was karl's soft, whispered words that cut through the silence like an urgent dagger.
sapnap looked at his eyes. was that a dream?
“what?”
“nick, if you don’t kiss me right now i might die. i actually-“ before karl could even finish his begging, sapnap pushed their lips together.
karl tasted exactly like sapnap expected; like monster energy, strawberries and peach. it was absolutely intoxicating and sapnap loved it. he pulled karl in deeper, the smell of his vanilla body spray, the taste of his mouth and the feeling of the beautiful boy's body against his was euphoric, nick never wanted it to end.
sapnap’s hands walked through karl's brown hair, his fingers sinking into the soft, fragrant strands. karl was addictive and cold, like a winter night breeze.
“i love you,” it was whispered into sapnap's lips lightly, without breaking the kiss. karl slowly rubbed his lips on nick's. “as so much more than just a friend.” he continued to rub their lips together. “i thought i was being clear. i’m sorry if i wasn’t.”
“it’s not your fault. i’m really dumb too.” sapnap whispered back. he couldn’t pay full attention to anything karl said, at the moment he just wanted to kiss karl again, touch and hug karl. “kiss me again.”
and karl did. he laid down on the grassy ground and forcefully pulled sapnap on top of him. nick’s vision blurred again as their lips met, this time bumping harder, creating a kiss more urgent and desperate. and then he closed his eyes.
sapnap’s hands moved quickly from the brunette's back to his waist with need, making karl’s entire body tingle as he felt the warm hands pressing down on him. all thoughts of the one on top disappeared as karl's agile tongue entered his mouth, seeking for more contact, attacking his own tongue. karl brought his hands to the back of sapnap's neck, tugging at the short dark hair.
when their lips parted, their faces remained close, allowing the two to still feel the other's uneven breathing against their lips. their foreheads met and sapnap rubbed his nose on the end of karl's, smiling.
and none of them dared to open their eyes, because the feelings that hung in the air were enough to feel with their eyes closed.