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The big change… a conversation makes
Sirius was on the way to meet up with Remus in Diagon Alley. He took a quick stroll through Muggle London, where he felt free. For a few minutes he could pretend that the sun shining on him was warm; and that he was just Sirius. Not Sirius Black with a family tree which made all his coworkers anxious, with a job and friends which made his family want to kill him and with a brother who didn't even want to talk to him.
Every step he took made him lighter and more peaceful. As much as he loved his friends… he missed his little brother.
But on the way to one of his friends who brought happiness in his life and the power to stand up for the things he believed in - and in a muggle neighbourhood - he could forget for a few seconds about his worry and love for his brother.
The agenda for that meeting was to discuss where they would meet up for the full moon, now that they finished Hogwarts. Well, for Sirius it was. Remus told his friends that now that they weren't attending school anymore, he couldn't bear the thought that they were put in danger. He always relied on the Hogwarts nurse, Madam Pomfrey, to be there for them if they needed it. But now, in the real world, with healers who would ask questions… Remus was scared to be found out as a werewolf.
The other three boys - men with jobs now - whose safety in Remus' eyes, was in question, were adamant that he was overreacting. Sirius and James proudly proclaimed that the risk for them were minimal to none that they, as animals, were to get hurt, and Peter agreed… like he always did.
In their group that was the dynamic.
Them saying something and Peter agreeing.
Sirius walked to a bench pointing to a lake and sat down. He wasn’t supposed to meet Remus for another two hours. So he tried to get a fill of the happiness and freedom he felt now.
He closed his eyes.
In that moment the war raging on in the wizarding world seemed lightyears away.
And he was consumed with hope.
He felt another person approaching, but left his eyes closed.
Probably a muggle trying to enjoy the rare sun in England. It really was a nice day.
The person sat down next to him.
They sat like that for a while.
"Would you not just hear me but really listen to me, Iri?"
Sirius' eyes flew open.
The person next to him was the one person who he had been thinking about constantly for the last five years.
"When you call me that, obviously.", the reply from their childhood spilled from his lips before he could stop himself.
The two brothers locked eyes with each other.
"Honestly?" The pain in his little brother's voice was nearly unbearable.
"No. Siriusly." The totally bad joke did what it should do; make his brother groan in exhaustion.
"Honestly I need someone to talk about this thing I figured out."
"Why choose me? We haven't talked in 5 years. Both of us have picked our side in this war going on and you have a lot of people who are willing to listen to you on your side. Why me?"
His brother took a deep breath.
"Because… Because I think I chose the wrong side...I figured something disturbing out today, and," his brother took a deep breath again "You were right."
As much as Sirius loved to hear that, it also shook him. After all the deeply disturbing and disgusting things that happened in their home - mostly to himself - the piece of information his brother had come across must have been something soul shaking for him to question his beliefs and feelings about the war. That alone scared him. But for Regulus to actually admit that he was right… that made him wary about what this conversation would mean - for the sake of his own sanity.
"Go on. I am listening," he reassured him.
"He made them," the soft whisper of his brother was in contrast with his gaze, which turned hard.
"He made Horcruxes."
Sirius got sick. Their father taught them both about dark magic as soon as they could comprehend and understand what he was talking about.
And even for the guy who thought that curses and spells that could kill, torture or injure people, were acceptable for children - to hell with it, they were toddlers - to know and to use, this was frowned upon to do.
"Fuck," the swear left his mouth as he realised what that meant for not only the soul of the person they were talking about, but also the implications on the war they all fought.
"Same thought here. And I can't follow someone who thinks that this is a choice to make."
"I'll get you out. I promise, Eggi! But fuck, he really made them?"
"I swear on my magic," Sirius saw a small glow in his brother's eyes activating the vow.
"I need to tell the Order!" knowing that they needed to know. That changed all tactics they ever discussed on how to fight and to win this war. They needed to figure out what things Lord Voldemort chose to taint with his soul first before destroying them and then kill him.
"No, you can't. You have a traitor in your ranks"
That stopped Sirius' train of thought. He knew that Dumbledore had spies within the Death Eaters, but he never thought that they had a mole.
"What? Who?" he asked
"I don't know. Apparently he directly reports to the Dark Lord. The only thing I know is his codename. He is called 'The Rat'. The Dark Lord joked that the name fits him perfectly, because he is that in every way, whatever that means."
Sirius' mind went blank. It couldn't be... and his thoughts stumbled out of his mouth. "Fuck fuck fuck. It can't be...I know who would fit that description, but it can't be him!"
"If the person you are thinking of had anything to do with the Tale Family… then it is him. He was the reason they were lead to think they are safe to go to Madam Heymicj where, you know, they got murdered."
That piece of information fitted the slowly growing puzzle in his mind and it made an ugly picture.
He trusted him.
He called him brother.
But apparently the sentiment wasn't really shared.
He didn't really want to confess it to himself, but it made sense.
Peter Pettigrew was a Death Eater.
He always was a follower.
"Shit, it IS him! He was assigned to follow them there and back but he told us his mom sent him an urgent owl to come home, because she fell ill, but obviously that was a lie. Fuck. I need to talk to James and Remus about it. Because it's Peter. They need to be warned. Now. Meet you tomorrow? Same place? 10 am?"
His real brother nodded.
"Yeah. That will work."
"Take care, Eggi, and be careful."
Sirius hugged him.
"You too, Iri."
And Sirius Black whose view on life had turned on its axis - still trying to fit all the pieces together - hurried away from his brother towards his other family.