Chapter Text
He thought no, no- He knew.
He knew. Shikamaru has been sensing the blonde's stress and impatience since a couple of months ago.
Is understandable, of course. Naruto was a ball of energy all he´s life. Only falling asleep, just like Shikamaru himself, on the academy most boring lessons. All those years ago. But those were a few of the times he was silent and unmoved. It took the death of his master to really break the floor under his feed and put him under the shadow of sorrow and grief.
And it took some sweat for Shikamaru to snap some sense on the blonde.
So, yeah. Shikamaru can tell that that troublesome guy already surpasses his limit at being “looked” in Konoha. It has been taking a lot of Shikamaru, Kakashi and Tsunade’s effort to keep him still. But after most of a year of the end of the war, his successful bringing Sasuke back, and the new arm altogether with the therapy of such an amazing piece of Tsunade’s experience, all of them knew it was just a matter of time for Naruto to said enough is enough.
They currently living on the oh so white peace. The five elemental nations keep their war alliance to this day, and such accomplishment doesn’t seem to change any time soon, thankfully.
However, the “oh so white peace” isn’t that white to begin with. It´s just how the life is supposed to be, really. There´s always some black on white and Naruto has showed that the opposite is also true. Black also contains white, even if is just a little be.
Time of peace doesn’t mean no fight. No hungrier. No pain. Even Naruto is aware of it and understand it. So, then it takes us on Naruto tired of do nothing about it although he knows there´s not all white but relief because he also knows there´s no just black.
Naruto´s arm still needed therapy, and rigorous exercise for at least another month or so Tsunade has been warning his fellow blonde.
Kakashi just put books and scrolls on Naruto’s hand (hands since some months ago) to keep him occupied with more than just an excuse, because obviously every person knew who’ll be the next on the line to become the leader of the Leafe. And as such, the currently Hokage had keep his student at bay for the year after the war without too much of a whine and complains here and there.
Shikamaru helped-worked as the Hokage’s right hand, so he keeps Naruto under his sight most of the time. And hasn’t take an outside mission since Naruto got his implanted arm five months ago. But tough luck. He´s also the one on charge of the international meetings, this time on the Sand. Three/four days far from the Leaf.
Enough time for Naruto to bother the Hokage and the former Hokage to let him fly away the walls of Konoha and without his presence, Shikamaru Knew, there was no one else who could be the third heavy hand to keep the other two from given up. Because, really, everyone had a soft spot for the Uzumaki. And takes too much to denied him something. Let alone his teacher and maternal figure.
Not the Shikamaru is, ugh, steal hard for the blonde’s charms. Quite the opposite. In fact?
Yeah, you see, keeping Naruto on you radar as much a Shikamaru has is rather complicated. Troublesome. Late nights. Cold/warm mornings. Noisily lunches. Sweet evenings Tea. Peaceful moments, chaotic ones. Painful hard instants… Shikamaru fell.
Can you judge him? Don’t be Hypocrite.
There was not an exact moment for him to pinpoint it, and tell, “Yeah, that was the moment a knew I could may be into that guy.”
Could be when Naruto came back after three years traveling with Jiraiya. He can admit, not out loud, that he forgot he was escorting Temari to the Hokage when he first saw him.
Maybe during the war. When he refused to die because there wasn’t anyone more capable to keep Naruto at bay.
Could be one of those lazy afternoons when there was not too much to do. Or to be honest, they didn´t feel like doing anything. And if the Hokage ignored it while reading those books, well, that’s their little secret.
Maybe not.
Perhaps long before.
But-
“Damn it!” He semi-shout. Currently standing on the hall, just outside the meeting room, on the Kazekage tower. One of Naruto´s toads standing on the window frame. The wind and sand wild outside that you could hear the whispers and friction to the building.
The message was short and clear. Naruto´s lessons made a wonderful job with his calligraphy. But Shikamaru doesn´t gives a fuck about how good he has improved in this precise moment. Although he does note it. If he weren’t containing his annoyance, he may smile, or keep the little smile, that he will never admit he had, just how it has appeared on his face the moment the toad showed up. It took just seconds to erase it.
“Dear Shikamaru.
Hey, hope everything is going fine with Gaara and the elders of the Sand. Don’t forget to tell them my greetings, although I’m sure you already did it.
Well, the thing is, I´m officially on duty now! Surprise? I know you are! -”
“Surprise isn’t the right term.” He said between clenched teeth. He’s brows almost touching.
“-You should arrive to Konoha in five days for now, right? Me too. So, if everything is alright (As I know would be) we could see each other that very same day.
Kakashi receive a letter asking for a mission. An escort mission. We´re heading to Amegakure.
I know what you may thinking, but don´t worry! We’ll be fine. I send this while we take a break on the border from Ame. It’s a dark and cold, of course because of the rain, but cool!
I´ll see you later then!
U. Naruto.
A strangle sound between a scoff and a laugh escape Shikamaru´s throat. ‘You don’t know’ He thought while the letter wrinkled on his hand.
“Everything alright?” The Nara didn´t sense her walking to him. Figures how much over the place his feelings were. Imaging how his face was contorted with exasperation that not even the startled flinch from Temari´s unexpected entry changes that.
His expression alarmed her. Making her walk closer towards him.
“Yeah. It´s just…” Shikamaru signed and forced himself to relax.
“Naruto, huh…” Shikamaru looked at her due to the soft kind of sad tone on her voice. Little smile on her lips not really reaching anywhere else. She wasn´t looking at him, but at the toad still on the frame. Everyone knew who the last master of toads and summoner was.
“Shikamaru-san?” The toad talks. And keep going when he got the young man’s attention. “Is there any replay you want me to communicate to Naruto-sama?"
There´s silent for ten seconds before Shikamaru shake his head.
“No, you can go, but before that…” He touches the back of his neck. A heavy sigh leaving his mouth. “When does he write this? He could be better with words now, but totally forgot the date.” Shikamaru shakes his head and with a softer whisper says “Something else to work with on his next lesson…”
The toad sat a little straight and proudly says “Today at noon, Shikamaru-san. I am one of the fastest toads Naruto-sama counts with! My family specializes on travel and shunshin no jutsu. It took me just five hours to get here.”
“Great, that’s great. That’s all. Thanks.” Shikamaru dismisses the messenger.
“What does he say?” Temari asked when the toad leave with a puff of smoke behind. “Something wrong?”
“No, no really. I guess.” He replays turning fully at her. “Just a mission he´s on. Nothing to worry about.” Nothing to worry about.
He tucks the letter on his pocket and gesture Temari with his hand that “We should return to our meeting. I’m leaven tomorrow so we should finish all our discussions and plans today.” Shikamaru realizes he was walking alone five steps ahead. He stopped. Couldn´t turn around though.
“Uzumaki Naruto is a hero. A war hero at that. Without him… we would most likely not be here.” No even hearing her talk would make him turn. Temari counted on that. “Can control the strongest of the Bijuus. Summon toads. Amazing Jutsus. His control on the Wind is exceptional. Sage mode… Even without his arm he was the strongest...”
They let the silence set for a minute between them. The only sounds of voices coming from the room the meeting was taking place.
Shikamaru knew what was coming. He knew what her point was.
“Your point?” He asked anyway. Voice not showing more than his usual boring-tired tone.
“Why are you worried?” Her little voice sure disconcerted him. She was hurt. She knows. However, he would not admit nothing right now. No even if is that obvious.
“There´s more than just being the strongest.” He decides “He’s also smart, you forgot, or may not have spent enough time around him to know that but is a little dense and with a couple of things naïve… He´s still too famous for his own good. People can get a little wild with the Hero, as you said, he saves us all.” He´s head shakes a little, but don´t look at her. “And his arm still needs some time to function properly… I just think he needs more time to heal and learn some more. That’s all.” He didn’t expect the humorless laugh.
He frowned, biting his inner cheek. “We shouldn’t let the Kazekage, and the others wait any longer.” He said and started walking once again.
Shikamaru hear a weak “Sure” behind him.
They took their respective seats and the reunion continued without any sign that anything was wrong.
Maybe because nothing was wrong. And they all knew.
---
As a kid you usually have dreams. Not exactly those you have at night while asleep. But, yeah. Ok, those too.
But people have dreams. Views the keep you from your healthy eight hour of rest. The ones you yearn to reach some day. That restrain your mind with a thousand of scenarios. You on top of the world with all what you want o who you desire to become. Perhaps just the same one image or visualization which preserve to reaped on your head. The case is, dreary, that kids have more dreams than the adults have. Maybe because we realize some dreams are “impossible” to reach. Sometimes are absolutely nonsenses that make undeniably sense for a toddler! Because those dreams seem pointless and childish when you get to a certain aged.
Occasionally, dreams never disappear. Could change how you view them, but they are still there. In the front of your mind or hide on the darkest at the very back.
Shikamaru, up until a while ago, thought that his future was get marry to a girl not too beautiful but not too ugly. Have two kids: a girl and a boy. Retire when his daughter got marry and his son became a great ninja, to the devote his last days playing Shogi to finally die before his wife.
That dream change.
Rather, it vanishes.
Sometimes, when there’s not too much to be done, or everything becomes too much and his laziness get the best out of him, you can still find him lying under the marvelous sky doing nothing more than watching the fluffy clouds travel slowly from one point to another, getting lost through the white cotton floating under the blue heaven. That would never be altered.
His laziness or his hobby? There´s no one without the other.
However, being a lazy ass do not mean that, just occasionally, he could put the feeling of sluggishness aside for a while. Shikamaru has done it before. His first mission as a chunin, even if ended it as a failure, he has given his best and more.
When Asuma died… he sank down with his own regret and pain while thinking in a way to end the life of the one his last master ultimately encounters and lost.
Also, during the war. He chooses not to die. He can admit, not that it is a secret (thanks to those two blondes being a link to everyone), but when his own life was at bay the reason for him to live and in fact to keep fighting, ripping himself from the dark and sweet peace of the arms of death… and well, 95% of that was because of that stupid blonde guy that he just couldn’t dare to forget and said idiot that gave what he could and more to not let him die. But he decides not to succumb and fight back. Troublesome. Really.
And now.
He´s not the fastest shinobi out there. Not the most motivated one. Not the most particular interesting. Not one the truly cares. And the list goes on. However, if Nara Shikamaru decides he will do something, it just a matter of time for it to happens.
So, when he said to himself that he would get to Konoha in three days. Indeed happens. He finds himself signed for his return to the village at the gates of Konoha. He must look like shit because Izumo nor Kotetsu try to keep an amicable talk with him.
Or maybe is his frowning face and the intense aura around him. Who knows? Not the guys covering behind the counter. Or the lady in the front desk at the Hokage tower with her shoulders too near the ears to be comfortable.
The Hokage knows better though. Kakashi’s face, a least the part that isn’t covered, show his eye smile too sweet to believe. That playful tone could be quite annoying. At least for Shikamaru´s taste.
“So, Shikamaru-kun” Kakashi started. The Hokage asked when said Nara finished to report his successful meeting with the sand counsel “why the large face? Everything ended smoothly, as we knew it would.”
Shikamaru made an agreement sound. He´s face was still contorted with unsatisfaction.
Kakashi rest his head on his palm. Gaze at the opened scroll on his desk.
“I mean, we all know how much the Kazekage cares about Konoha and as a sibling village. And of course…” He looked onto Shikamaru´s black eyes before continued. The smirk was visible under his mask. “His feelings for our blonde knucklehead are a common knowledge since the War.”
The Nara´s eye twitch. But otherwise keeps his cool frown. “Won´t talk, huh? Fine. I don´t need you to talk to know.” Kakashi let his eyes fall back down. Felling the glare from the younger male in front of his fancy desk.
To know…? TO KNOW?!
“What´s that supposed to mean?! What do you know?” Shikamaru didn’t meaning to sound that harsh and annoyed and freaking lazy, but... Well, maybe he does. “What do you think you kno-”
“I know…” Kakashi cut his words. Without looking up at him. “That you decide to arrive early because you knew, pretty sure because He informs you, that he was send on a mission.”
Kakashi could almost hear Shikamaru´s eyes rolling. That almost make him break his poker face and laugh.
Shikamaru rolled his eyes so hard that hurts. Had to restrain his hands to reach up and rub at them and ease the pain.
“I know that.” The Hokage continued. “And I know why. However, I wouldn’t affirm not denied the why, mostly because you don’t want to yourself. And I respect my subordinates’ bonds and thoughts and of course, feelings.”
Yeah. He knew.
It doesn´t make it easier, though.
The silent last just about 20 seconds.
“He made a mistake…” Shikamaru broke it.
“I’m not aware of any issue with his mission.”
Shikamaru shook his head. Looking at the floor. “Naruto made a mistake with the time, or well, his estimation…”
“Hnn. How´s that?”
“Ame is a day far from Konoha. Half at Shinobi speed. But with an escort at civil pace, taking the civil routes would take around two days. However, the fact that you send Naruto to this mission, regardless his influence on your decision, means that you´re waiting for a high-ranking person. And if I remember correctly, last meeting with the Ame council dictated the escort of the minister daughter, which would most likely want to make some tourism for the border of the land of Fire to then get to Konoha. That would be three days as much.”
“I don´t have all the pieces, Shikamaru-kun. Mind to tell me the point?”
“Naruto didn’t count of me finishing my meetings a day early, also that I would make it here in three days while usually at this season of the year would take four days. He was right with my time if any of those facts hasn’t happened. But I am two days early. I’m certain he knew it would take them three days. Why saying he’ll be here to the very same day I arrive?”
Kakashi’s chuckles make him finally look up to meet his eyes. His brows almost touching make the silent question.
The Hokage shake his head and signed tired. “Are you sure it was an estimation?” He asked deadpanned. “Don´t you think it was a way to say ‘Don´t worry. I’ll see you for sure. When you get home, I’ll be there too’. He did feel kind of trapped in here. And you haven´t been that subtle with your disapproval every time he wanted to get back at work.” His face must have contorted too much on disbelief for Kakashi to drop his face the desk with a growl. His voice muffled while talking.
“Don’t understand shit, Kakashi.” He said with his own snarl.
Kakashi sometimes misses the Sharingan.
He could just freeze someone for some seconds and make his leave. Or make them believe that there was no more issue and leave him alone.
It worked plenty with Guy when he became too much to handle.
Now though…
But… He has those books…
They have to do the job for now.
He raised his face out of the desk “I’ll let the bad word as unheard for now.” He spoke. Shikamaru just roll his eyes. Kakashi smiled at that. “Also, here I am Hokage-sama. But I´ll let it slip this once.” This time he got a huff from his little cute subordinate (Right -I don´t know if I could do this without you and Icha/Icha paradise- hand)
Kakashi’s smile became more real this time. “Why are you worried?” He asked.
“He´s not-”
“He´s ready. Don´t try to lie to me or yourself, Shikamaru.”
Shikamaru´s lips draw a fine line. Kakashi keep his eye contact. He should breck soon.
Those books don´t fail.
Sometimes, books do fail. Specially if said book was writing by a mega pervert to all those closed perverts around the elemental nations…*
Kakashi signed and drop his head on his opened palm to hold himself from slapping his skull against the expensive desk. Again.
“You know… He´s not stupid.” Kakashi finally said.
He could see how the young man in front of him did everything possible to not break. Lips impossible tight. Frown deep. Eyelids painfully shut after his eyes got so wet that he couldn’t keep eye contact with Kakashi anymore. Clenched fists. Knuckles white and trembling a little bit.
*But sometime those tactics works. Even if it’s for a different purpose.
Shikamaru´s exhausted. Back sore. Feet tired. Hasn’t had a decent meal in three days. The headache is almost too much now. And on top of that, his heart hurts enough to make him bend a bit. Not even that wretched sight is enough to keep Kakashi from say what’s need to be said.
“You’ve been trying to keep him tied when you know he loves his freedom…”
Anyone could call him cruel…
“… the three years he spent with Jiraiya-sama were the best of his life. But he came back. He’ll always come back”
…But he´s not…
“I know.”
…He’s just a man that had make mistakes…
“Then, what eating you?”
… and wants other´s to avoid them.
“You already know that.” Shikamaru cleared his throat. His eyes down. “I just can´t say it. Not yet.”
Kakashi nodded. “You can take your time, but you can´t take his time.”
“I know.” Shikamaru signed tired, sounding exhausted. However, he tries to compose himself before ask “You didn’t tell me the truth. What’s the real mission?”
Kakashi’s head drop with a loud growl. Chin touching his chest. “You’re just too smart.”
Shikamaru snorted. Gaze at the floor. Hand resting on the back of his neck.
“Not point in hide it, then.” Kakashi said, searching for a folder under a pile of paper. Then, hand it over to Shikamaru. “When Pein, well, Nagato died, and Konan got missing, presumed dead, Amegakure was left without a Leader.” Shikamaru read the pages, listening carefully at Kakashi. “There´s when the new Shadow appears. Not face, not name, just control. This man has been leading the country under a questionable regimen. Ame, as you know, is a small country. He´s not officially a Kage but took the place of one at presumed force five months ago. Had his face cover at every public appearance. And goes around calling himself the New Lord of Rain. Even that is not that estrange, however, how he took the place is.”
Shikamaru frown. Reading the same Kakashi was saying. “Twenty missing nin under his mand. That´s enough to take care of the village shinobi after what was left for the war… Tch. Some are even S ranked on the bingo book. Troublesome.”
“That´s what we fear.” Kakashi breath out. “And the most accurate believe we have so far. However, this morning just before you get here, Choji´s letter arrive informing his part on the plot was going according to the plan. The next phase was on the run already.”
Shikamaru´s eyebrow raised at that. “Ino´s also there?”
Kakashi shook his head. “She had to take care of her position as her Clan’s leader regarding some issues with the sensory network. Well, more than an issue is the capacitation of the new members.”
Shikamaru smirked at that. He’s so proud of her. But now was not the moment to let that get carried. He already has a gift for her on his pocket; a praise and a present to show how much he admired her.
“Who’s the mission leader? Don’t see it anywhere.”
“I was planning on let Naruto handle the mission.” Kakashi admitted. “But he declines. Says that a mission leader wasn’t necessary and that the four of them have enough power, years, and companionship to work as a team. Not a squadron.” Kakashi chuckle affectionate. Shikamaru’ lips pursed. “Claims that if the team was composed of youngers ninjas, genin or chunin, he would totally agree for obvious reasons. But sees not point on doing so this time. No one here is more than the other- I know we can work as one. He said.”
Shikamaru dragged a hand across his face. However, the smile on his face was threatening to breck his tired expression.
Kakashi says what he has on mind: “I don´t know how and why he keeps surprising me after all these years.” Shikamaru just nodded and resume his reading. “Well, the mission isn’t easy, Naruto have to meet this guy and interrogate him. We can’t just kill him or imprisoned him because there isn´t any evidence of crimes other than take a country, which, even if it sounds crazy, it´s not actually illegal. And the rest of the team should be recollecting information around the city.”
There were a couple of details about what little they knew from a crypted letter from the minister of Ame. So there wasn´t too much to discuss about it.
“Shikamaru?”
The Hokage called after he got dismiss to rest for the day. He looked like shit after all. Shikamaru half turn to look at him at the door frame.
“Collet your thoughts and understand your feelings before talking with him.”
The new Nara leader nodded. And left.
What else could he said?
He tried. Really. He put effort doing so.
But yesterday had happened without him even notice and tomorrow would be the day the team would arrive. Shikamaru had one night before meeting the team 7 plus Choji. He could try to avoid it, sure, but he works at the Hokage tower. Is just a matter of time. And his thoughts are all over the place. And he just knew one thing…
Because he’s just annoyed to meet the troublesome blonde man.
However, this evening is not just any evening.
Since Mirai’s birth, Shikamaru had always schedule time for her. Even if just a couple of hours, he tries to be part of her life. Like he promised Asuma to take care of his king.
Mirai´s already waiting at the door and smile wide at his sight and calling for his “Big brother!” with a joyful voice. That’s how he got his thoughts to calm the fuck down for some hours while playing with the little Sarutobi. Kids get tired. But Mirai can play for hours and keep his tiny feet running for all over Kurenai’s apartment.
Shikamaru’s grateful for that compromise on playing, and after dinner with Kurenai and Mirai, the toddler still had the energy to keep jumping to get his attention. Shikamaru assures Kurenai that is fine when the mother tried do get her child to stop bother him. So, she let them play until Mirai pass out from exhaustion.
When Shikamaru puts her on bed, Kurenai is already waiting at the couch with a steaming cup of tea on the little table.
“We should talk a little, Shikamaru.” Her smile was sweet, but her eyes were mischievous reminding him his own mother. That can’t be good. But is not as if he could run off. Technically he could. But he knew much better than that. Thank you very much.
With a heavy sigh, Shikamaru collapse on the couch in front of her. Reaching for the hot tea to gain time. He didn’t have to, though.
“I’m grateful that you take you time to come visit us and play with Mirai. I know how tiring your job is and how lazy you are for the matter of fact.” Both chuckle a little. Shikamaru sipping on his hot tea. Black tea with lemon.
“Is not a problem. I do it because I want to. Is not trouble, really.” He answered. The cup warming his hands. He looked down at the liquid.
Kurenai nodding also with the warm cup between her hands. “Yes, I know. You love her as much as she loves you.”
The corner of his lip turned up. “I don´t want to intrude, Shikamaru, but if you want to talk of whatever it is that is eating you, I’m all ears.” She says with a kind voice.
Shikamaru keep his gaze down. Woman really are intuitive. Shikamaru chewed his lip before drinking the rest of the tea in one go. The heat burning his tongue and throat. He didn’t even flinch.
“I’m in love with Naruto.”
He stretched to put the empty cup back on the table, his eyes never leaving his own moves and keeping his stare on the cup even when he settles back on his seat.
“And as you said, is eating me because I don´t know how to deal with it, and as you also said, I am lazy to even try to fix it.” There was not reproach for being called lazy before, just what he thought about himself. Kurenai knew it too. “So, I’ve tried to put my life in order but is getting harder.” He dragged a hand over his left eye and down his cheek “I’m tired. I guess.”
“I see.” She spoke. “Love is hard to handle… more if you are restraining yourself.”
“I know.”
“But love is not just what one person wants. Love is not just for one alone. You’ll never know what love truly is if you don’t experiment it with your loved one.” Shikamaru finally looked up at her. She wasn’t looking at him, but at a picture of her and Asuma. Both looked so young. They weren’t even in love at that time. “That´s why you have to ask yourself what you want for you. Shikamaru, until you figure that out, you will keep thinking the wrong things, again and again.” She meets his dark lazy eyes with her red and soft ones. “Pretty sure that’s what you been doing for a while now.”
“You´re not wrong.”
“At least you have admitted it out loud.” She smiles kindly at him. “Now, try to think what you want to do with Naruto and your love for him.”
“I don’t know-”
“You don´t want.” She corrected. “You don’t want to do anything about it. And there’s where the locked is. That’s why you keep going back and ford.”
“I know.”
“Of course, you do.” She gave him a wide proud smile. “You´re just nervus, that’s all.”
“More like terrified, actually.” Shikamaru exhaled and grasped his nape.
She laughed softly and took a gulp of tea. “Well, that’s understandable. You don’t even know if he’s into boys.”
He groaned and let his head hang back “There are too many variants. Too many things could go wrong. Too many answers…”
Kurenai sigh. “I shouldn’t be taking sides in this one, but…” Shikamaru looked at her with lazy eyes. “Now more than ever, Hinata is not the only one trying to win Naruto’s attention you know.” She gave him a knowing look.
He let his head fall back again. Kurenai just chuckles at his behavior.
“Even if you said that there are too many things that could go wrong, I think that’s also a problem.”
“Yeah” He murmur while looking at the ceiling.
“But is because you are wrong”
He frowned. Answered without looking at her “Why?”
“There’s just Yes or No, Shikamaru.”
“What about a maybe. There could totally be a maybe.” He felt tired. What time is it?
“You don´t deserve a maybe. Nobody does.” Her voice is knowing when she adds “And Naruto is not a maybe person. He’s all or nothing.”
Shikamaru smirks at that. He knows all of that. He’s just being stubborn and a coward. He doesn’t want to feel the way he fucking does. But that’s how everything results for him.
Now, the question is… What to do?
“What time is it?” He asked after a while. He opened his eyes not remembering when he closed them.
Kurenai had a book on her hands. Empty cup of tea next to his. She looked up and meet his sleepy ones. “Almost midnight.” She chuckled when his eyes widened. “Don´t worry. You just took a little nap, not even an hour.”
“Sorry for keep you up.” He said standing up the comfy sofa. Stretching his arms over his head. Fighting and losing to restrain a big yawn.
Kurenai shakes her head, also standing. “I said don´t worry. You can stay if you want.”
Now was Shikamaru’s turn to shake his head, walking towards the door to put his sandals on.
“Thanks for the offer but I rather leave now. Have something important to do tomorrow.”
“Alright. Come whenever you want. As always, our door is open for you.”
Shikamaru returned her smile and said good night before leaving.
His head felt lighter.
---
Is he lucky? The answer depends on who you ask. Midnight in Konoha is mostly quiet. Not too many people on the streets, well, that depends on what route you choose. Shikamaru took the silent and lonely one. He could sense some of the anbu ninjas hiding on the rooftops. Two guys a little bit drunk exiting a restaurant. Some past evening places are still working, the red side is obviously opened at this hour, but said place is at the opposite direction he’s heading.
Right now, he wished he had taken another road. Or Kurenai’s offer to stay. Or a miracle.
Naruto’s walking towards him.
Naruto’s standing in front of him.
He’s smiling at him. He’s brows move like he´s worried. Smile still there. Why’s so bright. Is midnight for fucks sake.
“What?” Shikamaru’s voice doesn’t sounds like him at all. So, he clears his throat and repeat: “What?”
“That’s what I’m asking you!” Naruto chuckles. Voice maybe a bit too loud. “What are you doing outside at this hour? Got a mission this late? Kakashi sensei should let you rest some more, dammit. That old man...”
Shikamaru shifted his feet. Could run away and pretend this not happened. Again. He knew better. Dammit. Stupid Uzumaki with too much stamina.
He shakes his head slowly. “I just got caught at Kurenai’s place. Mirai likes to play till can’t not more. I was heading home.”
Bad thing to say. But he realizes too late.
“I’ll walk you home.” Naruto says already turning his feet at the Nara’s compound direction.
Shikamaru noticed the blonde’s backpack. “You just came from a mission. Go home.” He didn’t mean to sound that mad about it. It just came out too harsh that make the Uzumaki stops on his tracks and sent an apologetic look over his shoulder. A bandage hand went up to short blonde hair.
“Haha. Yeah… I, well, Tsunade said my arm was fine, um, so… yeah…”
Shikamaru keep walking past him. Not much after Naruto was walking some steps behind him. Shikamaru needn’t to look at him to know. He’s aura fillet with uneasy was quite heavy at the Nara’s back.
“I don’t need an escort, Naruto. Go home.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. It’s not a particular cold night, but the breezes weren’t exactly warm healers. Thanks, Kami, for his long slaves and the Jounin vest.
“I know. But I want to.”
Shikamaru huff but says not more.
They walk in silent for some minutes. Getting close to the Nara place, surrounded by forest and home for wild deer. There’s not too much light at the rest of the road. They get surrounded by darkness when Shikamaru decides to stop. He hears two more steps behind him before they get involved in to silent as well.
“I am in love with you.”
Both males talked. At same time.
“I know you’re in love with me.” Naruto says softly. Caring. Not surprised at all. “I can feel emotions when I use Kurama’s chakra. You know?”
Why’s his heart beating that fast? He’s sure Naruto can hear it and how heavy his breath is. He turns around. Is dark, but he can still tell who is standing some steps in front of him. “It was hard to tell… that you had those feeling for me… Is different from everybody else…” He murmured. Not point on increase the volume. Shikamaru hears him just fine. “And the way you tried to keep me within arm length was confusing at first… people usually don’t want to do that.” Shikamaru let’s out a slowly shaky breath. “When… when you left to the Sand, the day before that, you went to my apartment right?”
Shikamaru stopped breathing for a second. “Yes.” He answered neutral. Relieved that it didn’t came out as breathless as he felt.
“Then, why you said nothing? Just stood outside my door with the hurt, sad feelings surrounding you?” He asked with somehow some incredulity in his voice. Shikamaru could almost see his lips pursing and brows frowned.
The Nara took two brave steps ahead. “Why didn’t you just open the door?” He quietly asked.
Naruto huffed, also taking two steps closer. Neither can see each other face clearly, but there’s not need for that. The obscure curtain made both brave enough. Better take advantage of it.
“You didn’t want me to.” Why is his voice husky now? Dammit.
Shikamaru took the last step closer. Head falling at Naruto’s warm chest. Hands still in his pockets. “I didn’t want you to… Did you want to, though?”
Naruto’s arms embraced him. Putting Shikamaru even closer at his body. Shikamaru’s head turned to the side so his ear was listening at the blonde’s strong heartbeat. “Yeah. I wanted to. But you weren’t ready.”
He wanted to hug him. So, his hands travel at his back, slowly, moving his head so now would rest on the other’s shoulder. Chest to chest. Naruto’s exhales tickling his ear.
Why were they both so relaxed on each other arms?
Is that even a question?
How troublesome.
Naruto smelled nice. Like wood. May also needed a bath, but Shikamaru couldn’t care less.
Minutes passed without any of them talking. Neither wanted to let go of each other. There was no need for more layers, they were both warm and too cozy even as the night was coldly passing.
Naruto´s hand started to draw circles on his back, nose repressed on Shikamaru’s hair taking a deep inhale. The blond softly whispered on his ear, making him tremble and hug him harder. “You should get home now. It’s pretty late.”
Yeah. He knows. He needs to work tomorrow/today, technically, in a few hours. His mother may or may not be waiting up for him, and he’s worried she provably is, but damn! He just wants to stay on those strong arms of the man he loves so bad for all the time he can. Feeling those soothing touches on his back and hearing the blonde breath near his ear. Wrapped on the warmth on one Uzumaki Naruto.
“Yeah” He sighs. Getting himself off the blonde. In the darkness, he felt his hands get caught by the other; one rough and warm the other soft with bandages. Shikamaru’s breath hitches. His hands were guided up to hot breath and soft lips. Each hand got a gently kiss on the back before the Uzumaki talked again.
“Let’s meet for dinner at my place. Ok?”
“Yeah” He does sound breathless. He didn’t give a fuck.
“Good night, Shikamaru.” The smile is too obvious that there’s not need for light to know.
“Night, Naruto.” He murmurs. The warmth leaves his hands seconds later and he’s tempted to follow it but don’t. He hears a content hum and then felt a breeze. Naruto left.
Shikamaru walks the last couple of steps to his home. Relieved for the darkness because his face feels like fire. He can just imagine how red it is. And there's a stupid smile on his burning face-
He's thankful that his mother is already asleep. He's not in a good condition to explain.