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Thunder roared upon the land of eternity, as she walked on them, shrouded by mist. The ominous fog that spreads across the wide landscape fogs her mind. The seeds of thoughts yet to rise from the depths of doubts as she lets herself fall into them. Unwillingly, yet with the agreement. An agreement with the void hoping to unveil the answer as to why he would be so ephemeral.
When she asked him why he was there, he replied ever so softly, “I seek the god who granted me a second life.”
Foolish, that’s what her second in command would have uttered, had they heard him say such words. “And why would you do that?” she pondered out loud.
“To pay my respect to that god for eternity.”
He spoke of eternity so subtly, disregarding the universal truth that all mortals shall return to dust, to air and to void. She trod against the current of the mortal realm effortlessly, for she was the goddess of eternity. But how could, No! How dare he raise himself to the pedestal of idealising that he too shall live forever.
“Tch” she scoffed, “your eternity would be nothing but a speck in the god’s universe.”
“Then I shall be the speck.” his laughter cut through tension sharper than the blade forged by the divine hands.
She decided to walk away from the man, for he was stirring a wave which toyed with her very own stone-cold heart. “Isn’t it early to leave?” he asked. The sea ahead of them laid serene under the diminishing moonlight. She doesn’t reply to him, regardless of what he’d say, she won’t stay there further.
“At least tell me your name.”
And she says a fake word, a mortal tone of the tongue which doesn’t suit her demeanour. For she was the god he was seeking, how could she tell him her name? And with that, she retreated into the dense fog.
ii.
The might of his swordsmanship left her restless. It won’t take long before he too would be waging war against the very power, the divine which graced his withering life with a chance to survive it. And he was the man who preached of an eternity of homage to that omnipotent being. The contradiction in his speech and action baffled her. But deep within she felt he won’t take that path. Trust? Belief? Hope? She didn’t know which humane emotion she entrusted within his hands unreluctantly.
To say mortals change over the course of time is the truth. To believe that he too might change was equally a true statement. The god he sought and worshipped, maybe he would not revere her anymore.Tch.
But yet, she awaited his actions. To see what he had in store. It was after all just a rumour she heard about him joining the resistance against him.
Atop her throne, which she has ruled on for centuries, and desired to lift it to eternity was now crumbling. Crumbling not by the influence of some externality, but from within.
Was the decision right, she pondered. But did not speak out loud.
“Your excellency. The decree has been passed. The vision hunters are already at their job.”
“Hunt them down. Take their visions. If not by persuasion, then by force.”
I’ll see you when the road decides and intertwines our path again.
iii.
She tiptoed her way through the forest. The night was dawning upon them as the moon rose in the sky with its beautiful crescent. It was the only time of the day she saw him alone, making his way silently past the trees and bushes, away from the tents set up on the island. Internally, she told herself she didn’t care about him or his well being, she was merely curious. Curious about what he had to do about the decree. The resistance. Was he still searching for the god when the god herself descended upon him, following him, watching over him, all the while disguised?
He carried a lamp light with him, his blade resting on his waist. His hair laid down, unusual from his everyday tied up hair. There was a certain calmness in the way he walked, quietly wandering through the path. On reaching his destination, he sat down on the rock near the stream.
She tailed along, revealing herself in front of him. He was bewildered to find her, but it was a pleasant surprise. There were no greetings. No salutations. Mere unspoken words of understanding, even after not seeing each other for months.
The water trickled down the stream, tickling her senses, as she bent down near the stream. “I wasn’t expecting you to find this place,” he spoke as he took off his broken sandals to dip his feet into the water.
“I did nonetheless,” she spoke as she wiped off water from her face. He chuckled, amusing her as to what made him laugh.
“Skilled, huh?” he stared at her, not moving his eyes from her form. How she wished to tell him about the mere facade that he adorned wasn’t her true form. In fact, she doesn’t remember her true form at all. Having changed vessels over the centuries of her reign, her true body was crumbling and what was left of the skeleton from her past was her soul. It won’t be too long before it fades too. “Not that I’m pretty bad myself. I happen to have an excellent grip with the sword.”
She knew. She had seen him fight elegantly against the hordes when she first saw her. She had seen him when he learnt to pick his blade. She had seen him when human blood was spilt on his haori for the first time. She was the one who redeemed him from his miseries and brought him a second life of joy. How could she not know!
“It’s a serene place, isn’t it?” he asked in an attempt to fill in the mystifying silence, as the water percolated down from the spring.
“An excellent hiding spot, I’d give you that.” She spoke as she finished with herself, considering if she should make a spot next to him on the rock or not.
“Warrior, aren’t you.” he snickered, “Maybe that’s why you infiltrated here. Following me.”
It was her turn to be defensive, “And what makes you even consider that I’d follow you.”She takes her place next to him, a few feet away from him.
“The coincidence of us meeting at this place. Away from the city. Here.” He grins at his statement, unaware that it bloomed a thought inside her mind, already tangled. “Do you think it’s a sign?”
“Of what?” she mindlessly questioned, flowing alongside with the conversation he dragged her into.
“Of us?”
The air became tense as he moved south, closing the gap between them. As she witnessed him moving in such a way, her mind couldn’t help but think about how particularly close he was to her, while partaking in this little play in front of her eyes. He was almost close to brushing against her, so painstakingly close yet distant. A part of her wished he could have snatched her waist, pressed her body against his own and just left her glued to his form, feeling her skin on his own, which was something her skin was imploring her to feel again.
“Us?” she asked, knowing well enough that this shouldn’t exist.
“Yes, of us. Just you and me.”The light smile stayed on his moist lips as he inched closer. There was a subtle elegance in the way he moved, like a silent being prowling in the dark. There were so many unspoken words that hung like swords in the air, waiting for the moment to strike. The tension, the desire, the confusion all mixed into one concoction coercing her to drink it up. But how long would she allow himself to plunge further in this little moment that felt very much like a needed breath of fresh air away from her scolding mind?
Just a little bit more
Yes, just a little bit more, as she always used to say. Just stay forever.
“I missed you.” She doesn’t reply.
The sudden touch electrified her, like struck by lighting she felt a new sensation, accompanied by a thousand questions knocking in her heart. She felt his lips skidding with the most delicate brush against her skin and every little scrap was enough for her to feel his words thrumming inside her mind. ‘Us’ How she wished it would happen.
Her scent, her face, her focused eyes, everything about her, he was drinking like wine, falling freely on his lips, which curled up a little in imagining what would it be like if somebody was to pass by and see both of them caught up in that situation near the spring.
“Stay” he murmured in the crook of her neck, burying his dark long locks in hers.
For a god who granted wishes, this wasn’t something she could do. But her mind quarrelled with her logic, ‘a little more’ it spoke, begging her to stay. To make the contact eternal, to be chained to an embrace as their heartbeats synchronized.
But she doesn’t. Still dressed in the facade she wore the previous time, she gets up to depart, bidding him farewell silently, leaving him yearning for more.
‘I hope fate never brings us this close again’ she prays before she leaves. Momentary she may say for the goddess of eternity, but the kiss was eternal.
iv.
“An intruder has defeated all our men on the frontline and is heading towards the palace interior, your highness.”
She could see that. A part of her cluttered mind knew this day would arrive when he’d be at the doorstep, thus the news from her general didn’t move her.
She wasn’t so heinous as the rumours spoke of. If she wanted she would have struck the death blow at the intruder without raising a finger. But why would she grant him vigour and vision if she wanted him perished? He knew of nothing, she calmed her cluttered mind as she awaited him to present himself onto the battlefield.
When he arrived, her heart’s cords struck. Aching. There was a sense of melancholy she never sensed before.
His feet wavered at the sight of her in her full glory. A majestic being surrounded with ambrosial aura, that’s what she was. Her real form. The being that he never met. But that didn’t stop him. With valour he walked, limping from the arrow struck on his calf, bleeding.
He must have fought outrageously against the guards.
She had hoped their reunion wouldn’t be at the battlefield, on the chi no senjo from where there had been no return. The final predicament. The divine punishment was administered on this battlefield where only one shall stand as the victor of the duel. And seeing him stand there in his torn haori, she knew there was no return for him.
“Have you arrived here to challenge me?”
“No.” he answered with utmost honesty, “I came to pay my homage.” For her, both things meant the same. “And to ask you, why would you order to take away the very thing that kept me alive? To give life and take it away.”
She had pondered on that thought for several nights too. As to why she’d strip him of the very thing that revived him.
For the greater good. She ordered herself. He is nothing but a vagabond. An insurgent. A momentary lover.
He raised his blade, pointing at her, ‘answer me.’
She was a being crafted from divinity. She wasn’t expected to answer the mortal. But how she wished if the circumstances were not the same. How she wished he would never know it was her, all the same person. The god he seeks. The lover he kissed. The merciless ruler he challenges. The strings of fate strangled her neck, suffocating her insides as she raised her head to face him.
“Then you shall receive the answer.” Her blade reveals itself with grandeur as she takes a step closer to the arena, headstrong about her decision that if it’s the answer he’s seeking, then he shall be prepared for the duel too.
But is he?
It started with a pang of lighting. He didn’t dodge. She knew it was intentional. He wasn’t as rusty as he seemed. Skilled with the sword and well prowess with his vision, if there was someone worthy out there to wield the power she possesses, the power to match her strength, it had to be him.
Why was he holding back then?
One after another, the lighting strikes rumbled down on the field. He didn’t flinch, hardly using his powers to fight back.
Is it because he knows the person he’s fighting is…
The ancient arts had preached from millennia of wisdom, to not let one’s heart carry engulf one’s thoughts on the field. Once the blade is unleashed, it shan’t return to the sheath with half a heart and a dead soul. With a pang of thunder and a swift slash, the duel was over. As if lightning hit him, he stood there electrified by the loss and the crimson that stained his clothes.
He was on his knees, clutching his heart as she stood over him, with her divine blade hovering over him.
“Won’t you ask me my last wish?” an unseen smile accompanies his question.
Last words were momentary. They faded as the rock eroded from years of brutal weathering and tempest. She sought to live forever and he was everything but that. How a butterfly graces the land for a minute period of time. A speck in the universe ruled and ran by time. Its beauty enchants the spectators, but it doesn’t linger forever.
“No.” words left her cold abandoned lips.
“I wish we had more time.” he implored, as his hands fell by his side. He was accepting his final judgement.
Her magnificent blade, the red-stained cosmic weapon thundered down upon the earth.
And it was blood that was soaked by the land, not the rain. And in the end, only one stood as the victor, carrying the weight of a soul on her shoulder. The last words of a lover.