Work Text:
Toby stared at the letter he had received. This had to be a good thing, right? With no one left in the house, he was left to ponder on his own thoughts. Sighing, he finally got to writing.
-
Dear William,
I am so surprised you were stuck on what to write to me. That really is a first for you, huh. You always know what to say, how to word it. You were the one who taught me how to read and write. None of this would be possible if you never taught me.
I don’t know if I’m going to be okay or not. I hope I am. As much as things are fucked up here now and as much as I just want to go home, I can’t leave you. I can’t be the one leaving now after you did the first time.
I’m afraid to lose you, too. I can’t go through that again. As much as that sounds selfish I… if I had to choose any one person to care about in the world it would be you. It doesn’t hurt as bad to be separated from anyone else. You’re different, but in the best way possible.
You always read too much into things, but in this case, I think it’s a good thing. It just really proves how much you actually care about me. Care like that is hard to come by these days. I thought I had found it in Lotus… but I guess not.
I’m glad that even though I had my whole thing with Lotus, it never changed your opinion on me. Looking back, none of what I did was the smartest and I realize that. I’m just surprised someone can love me after all I did.
On the topic of love, I really don’t know what it feels like. I’ve never experienced it and I’ve only heard bits and pieces from my dad. But if I put all the parts together correctly, this “romantic” love that you spoke of, I think I understand it now. I think I get what it feels like. And all angles point to you.
I’m home alone for the next few days at least, what with Sor having run away and Swift taking some time alone, and my dad being who knows where. I would have talked to him about all of this. He’s close with your dad, you know. He knows we’re friends. And I guess he knows how I feel for you.
I miss him. I guess I miss a lot of people, that’s what rarely leaving your house for a few weeks can do for you. I just used to tell him everything but he’s been gone for so long that I…
I’m glad you’ve been here. And I promise I’ll try my hardest to stay. I’m not going anywhere, at least for now.
I love you so much. I think I can confidently say that. And I will continue to proclaim that until the end of time.
No matter what happens, it’ll always be me and you, right?
If you want to come over to talk, you know where to find me.
Yours forever and always,
Toby
