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He shouldn’t be here, he knows, but it was so easy to make his way inside the hall, and only inside does Yibo realize that this is someone’s wedding. No one looks at him when he grabs a champagne glass. Everyone is busy dancing, chatting, or eating. From where he is, he can’t see the groom and the bride, but they must be somewhere.
One, two, three champagne glasses after, Yibo feels confident enough to mingle around, now with a beer in hand and a full stomach, he finds himself in a very intense debate about skateboarding with the younger cousins of the bride, here he learns her name is Lulu and she’s a dancer too, like him, is easy to lie and say that he knows her, that they work for the same dance company, her cousins don’t seem to care about that but are very interested in his opinions. One of them even materializes his skate and asks for his feedback about one of his tricks. Yibo is always interested in the subject and shows his skills too. They adore him. Sadly, they have to part ways when their mothers call them. It’s getting late and they need to say their goodbyes.
Next, Yibo finds himself around a group of aunties, eager to ask him if he's single (he’s not, his boyfriend is busy tonight with some important meeting that was apparently more important than Yibo, sad and alone Yibo wandered around the busy streets of Shanghai and found himself crashing a wedding, this is not exactly how he imagined he’d spend his Saturday night, but here he is), the aunties are sad to hear he’s taken.
They ask him what he does; he answers with a small lie and a charming smile: he’s a doctor (well, he was almost a doctor, before dropping out of med school to pursue a career as a professional skater. He thought that was his true calling. It wasn’t. Then he tried acting, and started in a few small productions, people liked him, and directors started to be interested in him, but Yibo woke up one day with a new idea. He wanted to try dancing instead, but he quickly realized that dancing doesn't pay his bills and that his parents still resent him since he dropped out of med school. Now, he has no prospects and he has to work part-time in a bookstore.
But the aunties don't know that, and tonight he's not in the mood to tell the truth. So he says he’s a pediatrician, and they look at him in awe when the youngest resident in his hospital.
—My child is three, and he doesn’t like potatoes. Do you think that's normal? — the woman asking him waits for his answer.
—You should mix the potatoes with some cilantro and garlic. He’ll like them — Yibo sees her thinking about his response and sees another auntie about to ask him about his child’s behavior problems when he looks across the room.
There is a man, dressed in a fitter suit, sitting alone on a sofa, champagne glass in hand, looking at Yibo. How long has he been there? The stranger takes a sip of his drink and doesn’t break eye contact with Yibo. He looks bored.
—Do you think that’s normal? He spends all day playing with legos and…
—Perfectly normal, you need to keep encouraging him. Many studies say that… — the stranger keeps looking at him. Did he see Yibo dancing too? Does he know him from somewhere? Maybe he’s suspicious and thinks Yibo is crashing the party (he is). Will he throw him out? Call the police? — Legos help with brain development, so keep buying them — he manages to say to the worried mother.
He sees another auntie about to ask him something and maybe he needs to run before she does or he will have to stay here with them all night.
—Ladies I'm so sorry, I have to say hello to my friend over there — maybe the stranger can help him, Yibo thinks, and he makes a toss in his direction and the stranger responds with an equal gesture, arching a very elegant eyebrow at him.
Yibo is grateful for it and makes his way to sit next to him. Leaving behind the aunties and his millions of questions.
—Are you really a doctor? — is the first thing the handsome stranger asks him.
He can lie again like he did all night long, but something stops him from doing so, maybe is because of the alcohol and the smile on the stranger’s face.
—No, I'm not — Yibo smiles too and takes a sip of his cocktail.
—Yes, I figured it out when you were ardently defending your argument about the importance of garlic in a child’s diet — handsome stranger pauses to look at him again and takes another sip of his drink —. I'm Xiao Zhan… I don't think I know you. How do you know the family?
—I work with Lulu.
—You do?
—Yes.
—How come I didn't see you at her last show, the one in Changsha?
—Maybe you didn't see me because I...
Handsome stranger, well Xiao Zhan, laughs.
—You don't work with Lulu, you are not a doctor, but you seem to know a lot about skateboarding and bikes. I saw you talking with my cousins and nephews. Who are you? —. Xiao Zhan’s tone is playful, like he's trying to unravel a mystery using his charm. And like he's sure Yibo will want to help him with that.
—Wang Yibo.
—Ok, Wang Yibo, nice to meet you.
This is ridiculous. What just happened? They laugh, this time so loud that some people around them look in their direction. After their casual introduction, they continue talking.
It looks like Xiao Zhan doesn't care if Yibo crashed the party; he was bored but now he's happily talking with him about life and everything.
—There is no way you’re 30. I thought we were the same age!
—People say that, but I don't see it. Look around my eyes and you can see some wrinkles when I smile.
—No way! Zhan-ge is so young and handsome.
Is really easy to talk with Xiao Zhan. Yibo learns he's an artist, he paints, he's the bride's cousin, he’s 30, he's from Chongqing… He's perfect.
Except he has a girlfriend.
And Yibo can't forget the fact he has a boyfriend too.
—Where is she? — maybe the champagne is talking (or the beer, or the cocktails) but Yibo has to ask.
—A-Mi? She's busy in Milan with her new exhibition. She loves Lulu, but she couldn’t take time off, so here I'm alone, poor little me, talking with the wedding’s crasher.
—Am I boring you? — ask Yibo playfully.
—Of course not, you're the most interesting person at this party — Xiao Zhan's big eyes look at him and Yibo feels himself getting lost in them, in Xiao Zhan’s drunken smile and the mole below his lip that Yibo is dying to kiss.
No, he shouldn’t.
—Do you smoke? Let's go outside — says Yibo, because maybe smoking and fresh air will distract him, yes that can help.
They go to the terrace, nobody is there but they can hear the party’s music even from here, people dancing and drinking. Groom and bride in the center, happy and joyful.
With his first puff of smoke, Yibo feels a little more grounded, his thoughts a little clearer again.
—Do you want one? — ask Yibo.
—I don't smoke.
—That's ok, I really should quit. My boyfriend smokes and somewhere along the way I picked up the habit, it's bad, I know.
—Terrible for your health, you should know it, doctor.
Yibo laughs again for the millionth time after meeting Xiao Zhan. Is so easy to laugh and talk with him, so dangerously easy. Like they know each other from before.
—Where is your boyfriend, Yibo?
—He… — Yibo can help but take another puff from his cigarette, buying himself time before answering —. He’s busy with work.
Xiao Zhan hums. Silence falls between them for the first time in the night.
Yibo makes the mistake of looking at Xiao Zhan when he takes another drag and pulls himself closer to him.
This is wrong.
They shouldn't.
But by the look in his eyes, Yibo knows Xiao Zhan is thinking the same thing.
Yibo takes another drag and puts one hand on Xiao Zhan’s shoulder before exhaling. It's as if Xiao Zhan reads his mind when he opens his mouth to catch some of Yibo’s smoky breath. It's almost like a kiss.
But they don't touch each other's lips. This doesn't count, right?
They repeat the same action and Yibo feels dizzy, not from alcohol. He feels drunk on Xiao Zhan.
He finishes his cigarette and feels Xiao Zhan taking his hand. Yibo waits for him to kiss him, and do something more. The moment passes, and he doesn't.
—What are your thoughts about marriage? — ask Xiao Zhan.
—Are you proposing? — Yibo can't help but laugh and interlace their fingers. Xiao Zhan laughs too —. I don't know Xiao Zhan, I think it is nice if you manage to find a person with whom you want to spend your life with, and if you think you can survive everything together, great! Do it, marry them! What about you? I'm sure your parents are already asking for grandbabies.
Xiao Zhan smiles — As a matter of fact, they do, but A-Mi said that she's still thinking about it.
Oh
Yibo clenches Xiao Zhan’s hand around his.
Another silence.
—This doesn't count as cheating, right? — Yibo asks, because he has to, because although they haven't kissed (yet ) it almost feels like they have been tiptoeing all night around it, as if it could happen at any second.
—Of course not — but Yibo sees doubt behind Xiao Zhan’s gaze when he says this.
They stay like that hand in hand for a few more minutes before going back inside.
Hours pass. At 5 am there is a couple slow dancing in the center, the tables are empty and the remaining people are drunkenly sleeping in the chairs or passionately arguing about something.
Yibo and Xiao Zhan are still talking. Between 3 am and 5 am, they told each other the story of their lives. And now they are talking about their favorite foods when Yibo’s phone interrupts them.
His boyfriend.
Asking what happened, and why he didn't come home? Is he okay?
—I have to go.
—We should... exchange numbers
—No! If we exchange numbers, I'll call you or you'll text me, and we…
We can't do that. We can’t do that to them.
—Good thinking.
—We didn't cheat, let's… keep it that way.
And why does it feel like they did?
They say their goodbyes.
A few weeks after, when he’s working his shift at the bookstore, a petite brunette asks him if they have a book about modern art Yibo has never heard of in his life.
She looks sad when he says they don’t.
—Yes, don’t worry, we’ll keep looking, thank you — she smiles and looks around before calling for someone that is busy still roaming around the art section —. Zhanzhan!, we can try the next one, I’ll get going.
Zhanzhan? It can't be.
But here he is, Xiao Zhan. They look at each other and smile.
—Yibo.
—Xiao Zhan.
I haven’t stopped thinking about you. I should have given you my number, I should…
—It was really nice to see you. I need to go — Xiao Zhan says, looking at the door. And in an instant, he’s gone.
And when Yibo is about to go back to his task of sorting the new books, he hears footsteps.
—Look, I know you say that we shouldn’t exchange numbers, that's why I didn't… but if you want to…, my studio is here, and… you can come anytime you want, no pressure just…
Xiao Zhan gives him a card and runs. Yibo stays where he is.
One morning, a week after that encounter. Yibo feels the weight of the card in his back pocket while his boyfriend, who came home late the night before, asks him about his day. When did they have become strangers? When did Yibo lose control of his life? When did he stop loving him? And why do they torture themselves by staying in a relationship that is going nowhere? Just for companionship? Just for the fear of being alone?
The talk is quick, there is no screaming or pleas. It was over even before he realized it. His now ex-boyfriend looked a bit surprised but accepted it.
—I have to go.
—It’s too early. You can pack your things tomorrow.
—No, really, I have to go.
Yibo runs, it is 8 am and maybe Xiao Zhan won’t be there, but he can wait. He waited long enough to be able to feel what he feels for him that a couple of minutes won’t make a difference. When he sees him, after an elevator ride that feels like it took hours, he jumps into his arms.
—I broke up with him.
—When?
—Today.
—I broke up with her last week.
—Oh.
They kiss and it's even better than they imagined.
A new chapter in life starts.