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seonghwa remembers the first time hongjoong regressed into a younger headspace- during a really nasty thunderstorm.
hongjoong was contently sitting in the living room when the storm began, and in his defense, it came out of nowhere, which startled him even more. the rain was hitting against the window and harshly and before he knew it, thunder shook the house and lightning flashed in the dark living room.
and the harsh weather outside brought a lot of bad memories for him. the last time it was pouring this hard was the night his mother abandoned him and pretty much left him to dust.
seonghwa knew when hongjoong was feeling younger not only when he called him momma, but when his eyes grew wide with unshed tears, and he began chewing on either his shirt sleeve or whatever was close to him at the time- he even saw him gnawing on a pillow on the couch one time.
he could see it in his shoulders by the way they look visibly tense as he clutched onto his blanket like it was a stuffed animal.
words became too hard for him to use, occasionally letting out a small "momma" but other than that, he was reduced to babbling and the occasional giggles.
it broke seonghwa's heart a little whenever he saw the younger in distress, tears blurring his vision as he desperately seeked the warmth of his momma.
when the kitten has regressed, the only thing that runs through his mind are the basics (mommy! mommy! blankie! soft blankie! soft mommy! want milkie!)
so seonghwa found it easier and more responsive when he baby talks to the younger. even though seonghwa has a relatively deep voice, hongjoong finds it comforting with the way his voice becomes high pitched and how he coos at him.
one thing he didn't expect was for hongjoong to show more his cat instincts or personality.
upon entering the bedroom, the sounds of purring could be heard from the hallway. hongjoong doesn't see him enter the room yet, so seonghwa watches quietly when he sees hongjoong kneading against his blanket.
he was babbling to himself, letting out small squeals as he continued on kneading into his blanket. seonghwa covered his mouth, not wanting the kitten to hear him giggle when he turned on his side and rolled into the soft fabric.
seonghwa feels a burst of warmth watching hongjoong fall more into his kitten instincts; which he's never really seen before.
"joongie, baby, are you having fun?" seonghwa walked further into the bedroom, smiling when the younger made eye contact with him.
it threw him a little off guard when said kitten held his arms up, smiling so bright as he called out for him.
"mama!"
seonghwa faltered but didn't let it show in front of the kitten, picking him up and placing him on his hip. "are you feeling younger today, baby bear?"
hongjoong's response- hiding his head in seonghwa's neck, giggling to himself. "let's get you all nice and cozy then!"
seonghwa was a little taken back by the sudden regression; he's normally used to hongjoong regressing due to stress or feeling overwhelmed.
but as he's dressing hongjoong into a pull-up and his favorite fuzzy onesie, he feels proud that the kitten mpst likely regressed due to him feeling safe and comfortable.
placing the younger back onto his hip, seonghwa carries him into the living room. he feels content with just caring him, so he walks around the living room while patting his bottom.
hongjoong snuggles deeper into his chest, absentmindedly looking around the room. when he looks out the window, he gasps pointing towards it as he tugs on the older's shirt. "mama..." he whispers in awe.
"yes, baby, you see the snow outside? it's so pretty" seonghwa brings him closer to the window. hongjoong's eyes practically twinkle as he momentarily leans over, pressing his face against the cool glass.
his breath begins to fog the glass as his nose is squished against it. "It's a little too chilly to go outside, but maybe later I can bring the snow inside for us to play?"
the kitten answered with a faint meow, turning back around to resume his favorite position. seonghwa held him tightly perched on his hip as he brought them towards the couch.
he places one hand on hongjoong's stomach- the kitten doesn't have the best balance- as he reaches over and grabs a few of his cat toys.
hongjoong mewls in delight as he sinks his claws onto his ball of yarn, sifting through it as he chews on a long string.
the older goes to sit next to him on the couch, sighing in content as he watches hongjoong play with his yarn. he tries to hold back a giggle when the kitten suddenly lays on his back as he clutches the yarn close to his chest, then proceeds to kick his legs.
he couldn't resist, so he goes over to craddle the younger in his arms, leaving soft kisses on his cheek. "mommy's baby kitty is so adorable!"
hongjoong closes his eyes as he begins to purr, nuzzling up against the older. he sees the way hongjoong's round eyes begin to sparkle and goes to pull him onto his lap.
"hongjoongie, my precious baby, momma loves you so much." he sifts his fingers through his curly hair, a shy smile growing on the youngers lips.
as much as he loves when his friends come over and spend time with the younger, it's nice when it's just the two of them; no interruptions, no guests. just seonghwa and his baby.
"mama is going to make you a bottle, you stay here and keep playing, okay?" hongjoong searches the olders eyes, he watched as seonghwa stood up from the couch and walk into the kitchen.
the younger watches his mama leaves the living room; curiosity peaking to where he is going. his legs feel a little wobbly as he's been either carried or sitting for a majority of the day.
he waddles into the kitchen, blanket clutched in his hand as he gasps at the person who's in the room. "mama!" he runs up to him, brightest smile on his face as he clings onto his waist.
seonghwa just smiles, opening his arms more so the kitten can hug him properly. "baby, you just saw mama in the living room" his voice is lighter as he cards his fingers through his hair.
hongjoong curls into the warmth of his mama as well as his soft blanket. he begins to nuzzle against seonghwa's chest, more loud purrs filling the quiet room.
"my baby kitten is so happy, hm? are you happy that mama is home today?" seonghwa coos, both hands cupping his cheeks as he places a kiss onto his nose.
warmth flows through his chest when he hears the lovely sound of hongjoong's squeals and giggles. he buries his head into the blanket, then proceeds to lift his arms up.
it's like seonghwa's arms move on their own as he picks up the kitten and places him on the counter. while he waits for the milk to be warmed up, he notices that the younger is looking up at him. he holds onto his shirt sleeve to make sure his mama is looking at him.
the older didn't think nothing of it when he saw hongjoong slowly begin to blink his eyes at him. "are you tired, my baby?"
the kitten just gripped tighter onto the older's shirt sleeve as he continued to blink his eyes slowly. seonghwa brought his hand up to cup one side of his face, placing soft kisses onto his cheeks. although he's confused by the gesture, the older accepts it; most likely a cat habit he doesn't recognize.
the pair move back in the living room. hongjoong places his head in the crook of seonghwa's arm as the other holds the bottle for him.
it's a peaceful moment in the household; the sounds of the younger drinking his milk echo in the quiet room. as seonghwa helps feed the kitten, he can't help but feel like his chest is going to burst with adoration;
there lays hongjoong, clutching his blanket as he smushes it onto one side of his face. the older holding the bottle for him as his small hands knead through the fabric.
"you're mommy's little baby, aren't you?" the smile on the older's face is so blinding, the kitten can't help but return the smile back- or as much as the bottle in his mouth will let him.
seonghwa can't help but miss moments like this- when he used to help bottle feed the kitten. the way that hongjoong would smush himself against the older as he looked up at him with his twinkling eyes.
as much as he's proud of how much hongjoong is growing and learning, he can't help but miss the little moments of bottle feeding or even when he started to teach him his colors.
when he places the now empty bottle down, he maneuvers the kitten to lean over his shoulder as he gently pats his back burp him.
the kitten clumsily turns around as he jumps into seonghwa's arms, once again continuing the nuzzling. he's letting out small meows, feeling content in this moment.
he loves his mama so much, he wants to stay in his arms forever. while he's kneading into his blanket, he looks up at seonghwa. hongjoong knows that seonghwa isn't his birth mother/ parent, but he's learned that you don't need to be blood to be family.
once seonghwa invited him into his home- in his life- he knew that seonghwa was a good person and was here to help and nurture him back to health.
he felt his eyes begin to tear up- he just felt so happy to be here with seonghwa. he wouldn't want anything else in the world.
"oh, my little baby, why are you crying?" seonghwa brought him closer to his chest, making him sit upwards. the younger didn't have the vocabulary to let his mama know that he was crying because he's happy.
he brought the younger into his neck, stroking the back of his head in comfort. seonghwa hated seeing hongjoong cry, it breaks his heart to see him so upset that tears begin to fall.
"shh, honeybear, you take all the time you need. mama is here for you" seonghwa sits with hongjoong in silence. he's always told hongjoong that if he feeling upset or overwhelmed, being in a quiet room helps him feel at ease.
seonghwa pauses for a moment when he feels a small pinch on his neck. his eyebrows furrow in discomfort- knowing hongjoong is the culprit- but just as he was going to pull him away, he watches in curiosity.
he can't really see what he's doing, but he can hear the kitten nip at his neck, almost trying to suck on the skin. he continues purring as he nips at seonghwa's neck, licking over it to soothe, then going back and nipping.
he finds it kind of fascinating, he's never really seen hongjoong show more of his kitten instincts; only just purring and mewling. he's never seen the kitten blink his eyes slowly at him, or try to suck on the skin of his neck.
he figures he shouldn't stop him from doing it, it doesn't really hurt and the younger seems content doing so; enough that his tears have subsided.
but he is curious as to why hongjoong is showing this behavior out of nowhere, so he takes it to the internet. leaning over slightly, he grabs his phone from the coffee table- not wanting to disrupt the kitten.
he feels kind of silly googling 'why is my kitten trying to bite my skin?' or 'why is my kitten blinking his eyes slowly at me?' but when he hits search, he finds multiple answers and other related questions.
seonghwa reads an article that kittens- and cats- blink their eyes slowly at their owners to show affection.
he scrolls further to find another article, explaining that kittens nip and bite at the skin or their blankets as a soothing mechanism- like how a kitten would drink from their mother.
seonghwa turns the screen off, a new feeling blooming in his chest. he knows hongjoong loves him and he loves him back, but when he's regressed younger, the kitten shows more ways to let him know how much he loves seonghwa. he wants to show the younger the same affection he shows him.
the kitten continues the nipping, his purrs so loud he can't hear seonghwa calling for him.
"honey joong~" seonghwa taps on his back with his index finger.
the kitten looks up, reluctantly pulling himself away from the older's neck. seonghwa makes sure he's looking at him, as he slowly blinks a few times.
hongjoong smiles, squealing in delight. "mama!" he buries himself once again in his arms, purring louder than before.
seonghwa lowers himself on the couch lay down, making a little room with his legs for the kitten to lay on top of him. he covers him with his blanket, turning on the t.v for some background noise.
just like before, hongjoong lays down with the older, continuing the nipping at his neck. he's not doing it to hurt him, or isn't leaving marks; so who is seonghwa to stop him?
he rubs at the kitten's back in circular motion, both of his hands kneading through the fabric.
"I love you so much, my honey baby. you're so precious to me. mama will always love you."
hongjoong nuzzles further, warmth bubbling in his chest. from where he's resting, he can only see his jaw; so he reaches up and places a kiss.
no matter what happens, hongjoong will always love his mama.