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Messy room.
Angry yells.
Shattered glass.
"Are you done?"
"NO!"
A moment of silence falls between them before Renjun sucks in a deep breath and stills.
They exchange looks.
One with burning eyes, whilst worry fills the other's.
One second.
Two seconds.
Three—
"Now I am."
Renjun's chest heaves from the anger, the responsibilities— everything.
He is not normally like this, he swears. In fact, he never loses his temper around Jaemin. Never- except for that one time Jaemin accidentally broke his favorite mug. But that doesn't practically count because Jaemin's apologetic eyes were too cute to resist, and because Renjun is naturally a forgiver.
But this time- it's too much.
In a way, it's probably nothing.
Jaemin is too immersed in editing a poster for his work that he forgets to feed their cats.
Yeah, totally not a big deal on normal days.
But life has been too harsh on Renjun that for one second, he wishes to come home to no responsibility. He wishes to lie down on his comfortable bed and cries for absolutely no reason.
Nothing goes wrong today.
His attendings are nice. His patients are wonderful. He learns a lot in the ward.
Nothing goes wrong today.
Except that he has so many things on his shoulders- but nothing goes wrong.
Today is a wonderful day to be alive, he admits it.
But Renjun needs to cry, desperately.
He needs to go home and cry, because there's a bubbling bottle in his heart that can't take it anymore.
In fact, he doesn't even know what it refers to. What he knows is that the feelings pull him down so bad, and he just wants to sleep it away.
One nice uninterrupted sleep after his shift ends.
That sounds fantastic- unless it's not, because he comes home to 4 hungry cats asking for food, and Jaemin putting his headphones on full volume.
"Are you kidding me, Na Jaemin?!"
Renjun takes off the headphones and stares at his husband in disbelief. "It's 6 in the evening and you haven't fed the cats yet?!"
Jaemin doesn't get it.
He doesn't understand why his normally so laid back lover is so mad at the fact that he forgets to feed the cats.
That happens at least thrice a week.
It's not that big of a deal.
Except that it's suddenly a big deal today, and Jaemin is just plain surprised at the sudden anger.
What date is today?
Is it their anniversary?
Is it Renjun's birthday?
Did he promise Renjun something?
Did he say something wrong to Renjun this morning?
What is it?
Jaemin's unasnwered questions stop spinning in his mind as Renjun bursts, "Is it so fucking hard for you to fucking feed them? You're home all fucking day, you can't expect me to come home and feed them."
Language.
If there's something Jaemin is not fond of, that is the usage of the f word.
Renjun can assume it's not exhausting to sit in front of the computer for 10 hours straight, he can assume Jaemin has all the time in the world to do anything he wants, he can say everything he wants, except for the f word.
And Renjun knows, for God's sake. He knows Jaemin hates the f word with his whole life for it reminds him of the man who gave him his first name.
But knowing doesn't mean anything.
"Can't you fucking answer me?!"
Maybe for once, Renjun wants to push Jaemin's buttons.
"Why can't you feed the cats when you're home all day?"
Jaemin pushes his chair and stands up. The chair collides with Renjun’s chair behind them, and that’s when both of them know Jaemin is annoyed.
"But it ain't hard to feed them tho?" Jaemin’s voice shakes at every syllable.
"SO WHY DIDN'T YOU FEED THEM?!"
Silence.
Renjun has never raised his voice at Jaemin to the point that the taller man feels the rage burning in his heart.
Jaemin's right hand forms a fist.
"You can't do this to me! I came home exhausted and I just wanted to sleep but-- look at all the mess," Renjun yells, hands gesturing around their shared bedroom. "It's a big mess. With the cats not being fed-- what the hell is wrong with you?!"
Renjun doesn't know when did his hand reach for the frame of their picture that's supposed to be sitting on Jaemin's table, but the next thing he knows, the glass shatters.
The pieces fall onto the carpet across them.
The picture of their wedding day lay on top of the broken glasses.
“Are you done?”
“NO!"
A moment of silence falls between them before Renjun sucks in a deep breath and stills.
They exchange looks.
One with burning eyes, whilst worry fills the other's.
One second.
Two seconds.
Three—
"Now I am."
Jaemin sighs. His arms are wide open as he says, “come here.”
Rejun blinks at the offer- what did he do in his past life to deserve a man like Jaemin?
“Come,” Jaemin says again, with a nod this time. His face softens at Renjun’s obvious hesitation and he smiles. “Baby, come and hug me.”
Slowly, Renjun takes a step forward, and another, and another, until his head meets Jaemin’s warm broad chest. The taller’s hands wrap around him tightly.
“I’m sorry,” Jaemin whispers, chin on top of Renjun’s head. “But I know this is more than that,” he continues. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
Renjun shakes his head. He doesn’t even know what to talk about. He can’t point out anything wrong today.
“It’s okay,” Jaemin caresses his back, “it’s okay.”
Upon hearing those words, Renjun cries.
His soul is exhausted, and perhaps those words are what his inner self is desperately looking for all this time.
It’s okay.
You’re okay.
“I don’t know what you’re going through, but I’m here.”
Jaemin releases his arms around Renjun and looks at the man he loves.
Renjun’s face is red, eyes puffy and nose full of snot, but he is still the most beautiful man in Jaemin’s eyes. In fact, Jaemin is sometimes jealous of Renjun’s patients because they get to see Renjun in his best shape, doing what he loves the most.
“Here,” Jaemin takes a box of tissues and shoves them to the smaller man.
“You really don’t wanna talk about it?” Jaemin asks again somewhere in the middle of Renjun blowing his snot, and the man pauses.
He shakes his head.
“You know I’ll always make time for you, right?”
Renjun nods.
Jaemin takes Renjun’s hand in his and he caresses the back of the palm. “You should tell me if something is wrong. You shouldn’t bottle everything up inside alone. I’m here for a reason, you know?”
At those words, Renjun cries again. He even sobs this time.
Jaemin lets Renjun take all his time and when his lover finally calms down, Jaemin hugs him.
“Hug me tighter if you’re sorry for earlier,” he says playfully, to which Renjun wraps his arms tighter around him.
“I know,” Jaemin whispers. “It’s okay, but I do appreciate it if you won’t do it again, okay?”
Renjun nods.
For a while, Renjun finds him to be the luckiest man alive, because he is blessed with the most patient man ever.
Before sleepiness takes over his mind, he makes a mental note to be nicer to Jaemin.
“Thank you,” Renjun manages to speak with a shaky voice.
It’s not a plain thank you. It’s thank you for being here with him through his ups and downs. It’s thank you for understanding that he needs time to figure out his problems. It’s thank you for always being patient with him. It’s thank you for calming him down. It’s thank you for everything.
And Jaemin understands every possible meaning behind those two words.