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For all intents and purposes, Merlin Emrys does not make it a habit of worrying about his birthday, much less the presents he may get on this day. However, as the day approaches and his friends speculate more as to what his boyfriend of five years would get him this year, Merlin Emrys cannot help but feel a certain kind of anxiety that bubbles at the pit of his stomach.
It is really rather inconvenient.
--
“Where are we going?” Merlin asks as Arthur bundles him in his car, confused. The day had passed relatively normal. Merlin had a small lunch do in their flat with all their friends but it isn’t too long after that Arthur is already kicking everyone out and pushing Merlin into his car, a crazy glint in his eyes. This is it, Merlin thinks worriedly, this is the grand gesture everyone’s been talking about. He is both excited and nauseated at the prospect of whatever Arthur’s planning.
When Arthur doesn’t say anything, Merlin turns to him again and asks. “Arthur?”
“What?” Arthur asks distractedly as he buckles his seatbelt.
“Where are you taking me?”
Arthur turns to him then, a small smile on his face. He takes Merlin’s hand and places a small kiss on his knuckles. “Trust me,” he says and Merlin doesn’t have the heart to say anything else. He just returns the smile and arranges his own seatbelt, preparing for the impromptu trip.
--
Merlin has driven to Wales all but four times in the last seven years he’s been living in England. That’s about once every other year according to his quick calculations. He much prefers the train and it’s definitely quicker. But he knows these roads, knows the little landmarks he always passes, and it’s not long until he’s certain that Arthur is taking him to Wales. To Ealdor, perhaps, the small town where Merlin grew up in. Arthur’s only been there twice himself; one for when he met Merlin’s mum for the first time and another for a Christmas break.
“You’re taking me to Ealdor,” Merlin tells Arthur as they continue driving through the M4. Arthur only smiles, not even looking at Merlin, and change the song on his iPod.
Merlin lets out a loud sigh, exasperated and fond. “You are truly ridiculous.” And thoughtful and all kinds of wonderful, he adds in his head. It wouldn’t do well to inflate Arthur’s ego now. He gets a laugh for his troubles.
--
The skies have turned a beautiful blend of pink, orange and blue when they finally entered Ealdor. The sun will soon go down and Merlin wonders, not for the first time since that afternoon, what Arthur is planning. They don’t drive the normal route to Merlin’s house though. Instead, Arthur passes the main church, the main shopping mall; they drive past several petrol stations and even more familiar houses until they end up on the cliff. All the while, Merlin has kept uncharacteristically quiet, deciding to let Arthur explain in his own time. Arthur, for his part, hasn’t said anything relating to any of his plans either. They talked about anything and everything except the most obvious matter at hand. The elephant in the room has been sufficiently ignored the whole drive.
The cliff was once a popular site amongst teenagers. It’s a small hill just outside the main town and it looks over the suburbs. It’s especially beautiful at night, when the city’s lights look like an amalgamation of fireworks and fireflies and the stars themselves looking like they’ve fallen down from space. But it has lost its popularity over the years; the younger generation preferring to go to pubs and clubs more and more rather than drive up a hill and get some with the city lights as the background.
It’s no great leap then what Arthur has in mind as soon as he gets out of the car and grab supplies from the boot. Merlin watches from where he’s leaning against the (ridiculously expensive but undoubtedly stunning) Audi as Arthur lays down a blanket on the grass.
The skies have gone particularly darker now from moments ago and Arthur sits there with an actual picnic basket, laying out food and wine for the two of them. Merlin never would’ve imagined anything like this when his friends started up the buzz about Arthur’s big plan for Merlin’s birthday. He had thought they would stay in the city and Arthur would perhaps get him an overpriced anything because that’s what Arthur does. Arthur doesn’t do picnics or stealthy surprise trips to Merlin’s hometown. Arthur is not particularly romantic or creative for that matter and it’s okay because Merlin has been with him for half a decade and he’s learned to love and accept these things about Arthur. So this is a surprise, really. Not the actual act in itself but the thought of Arthur planning this, executing it and looking so goddamn beautiful and smug as he sits there on his truly absurd picnic blanket.
Merlin makes his way to Arthur and sits down close to him.
“Wine?” Arthur asks, looking very self-satisfied. Merlin rolls his eyes before saying yes.
They eat their fill and finish a bottle of really good wine. It’s completely dark now and Arthur takes out a lamp from the boot just so they’re not completely bathed in darkness. It’s not bright enough to ruin the view though. They arrange themselves so that their limbs are somehow entangled with each other as they cuddle there looking over the town. The lights are beautiful as they twinkle from a distance. Orange, yellow, blue and white – an explosion of colours that looks so picturesque from where they lay.
“Happy birthday, M,” Arthur whispers against his neck and Merlin fights down a shiver. He feels so utterly content and happy right at that moment it almost seems surreal that they’re there.
“Thank you for this. I never expected it.” He pulled away slightly from Arthur to look him straight in the eye. He adores this man. This stupid, thoughtful man who did this for him. Merlin kisses him. A small peck to the lips that turns deeper, sweeter. He tries to put everything he wants to tell Arthur in that kiss. Their tongues tangle pleasantly as Merlin chases the taste of wine and something distinctly Arthur in Arthur’s mouth. It’s possibly Merlin’s favourite thing in the world.
Just then, Arthur’s mobile goes off and Merlin lets out a groan of displeasure. He’s just about to say something along the lines of ‘ignore it’ when Arthur starts untangling himself from Merlin. This earns Arthur another cry of protest, Merlin suddenly feeling shivery at the loss of contact and warmth. Arthur gets up off of the blanket and makes his way towards the car.
“Where are you going? Get your ass back here.” Merlin is pouting and feeling particularly nonplussed. They were having such a nice time with the kissing and he’s not happy at being interrupted.
“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Merlin. Be patient,” Arthur says from where he’s fiddling with something in his car. Merlin huffs and stops himself from whinging that he’s been very patient in this whole ordeal, thank you very much.
Merlin suddenly hears the radio; he strains to understand what the DJ is saying and tries to catch words of import because Arthur is making his way back to him looking even more self-satisfied than humanly possibly.
Then a song comes on.
Digging a hole and the walls are caving in behind me
Air's getting thin but I'm trying, I'm breathing in
Come find me
And suddenly it all makes sense.
I know you're scared that soon I'll be over it
That's part of it all
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you
Is the fear you won't fall
They resume their previous tangle of limbs and they sit there smiling like two besotted fools as the song plays.
It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home before you
And I know it's easy to say
But it's harder to feel this way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could, can't get my mind off of you
When the song finishes, the DJ gets back on air. “And that is The Fear You Won't Fall by Joshua Radin, dedicated to M. A wants you to know that he is decidely in love with you and wishes you a happy birthday. So, happy birthday, mate! I wish you and A a happy life together! This next song is today’s top…”
Merlin doesn’t hear the rest of it because he’s kissing Arthur silly. It’s electrified and intoxicating and Merlin’s head is swimming with it all. He cannot believe Arthur just did that and he says as much in between kisses. He clings to Arthur like a lifeline and he feels arms wrap around his waist tighter, making him feel secure and loved.
When they break apart, the need for oxygen becoming impossible to ignore, Merlin’s eyes focus on Arthur. He looks wrecked, his hair sticking out in places where Merlin ran his fingers through and his lips are spit slick and red from kissing. He reckons he doesn’t look much different and he groans, suddenly feeling very hot and excited. He buries his face in the curve of Arthur’s neck.
“You are an incorrigible prat.” Which actually means I love you and I can’t believe you did that! Arthur chuckles.
“I did something nice and romantic for you and I get an insult for my troubles.”
Merlin kisses him again, quick and sweet. “And Gwen was certain you were going to propose!” Merlin laughs at the memory of his best friend all but freaking out that Arthur will pop the question on his birthday. He knows she has a notebook with wedding ideas already. “But here we are, on a night picnic in Wales and a song dedicated just for me over the radio.” Merlin gives Arthur a brilliant smile. “You don’t do things by halves, Pendragon.”
“Oh pffft!” Arthur exclaims. “Today’s a Saturday. Everyone knows you don’t propose on Saturdays.”
Merlin looks at him incredulously and Arthur gives him a cheeky grin. Merlin pushes at him. “No one actually says that,” Merlin says finally.
“They do too!” Arthur nudges back.
It somehow turns into a wrestling-slash-tickle match and of course Arthur wins, but only because Arthur’s body mass is twice that of Merlin, as Merlin would like to assert - which obviously leads to another round of tussle where Arthur demands Merlin take back calling Arthur fat.
They’re sufficiently panting for breath when they break apart and Merlin gives Arthur another kiss just for the sake of it.
“I really appreciate this,” he says, taking Arthur’s hands to his and entwining their fingers together. Arthur squeezes his hands. Even after five years, Arthur still amazes him. And he feels like he’s falling more and more in love with Arthur as the years roll on, like there is no end to it and it should overwhelm Merlin, this feeling of utter devotion to one person. But he finds that he feels calmer than anything else. Like the pieces have fallen in their rightful places and he’s where he’s supposed to be, with the person he’s meant to be with.
He smiles at the thought.
“Come on,” Arthur says, getting up and tugging Merlin along with him. “Your mother is already waiting for us.”
Merlin laughs, joy vibrating through his whole body. They pack everything back in Arthur’s car and make their way to Merlin’s childhood home.
--
(Of course, Arthur proposes two months after, on a quiet Sunday, no less. Just on principle.)