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Guys weren’t supposed to be pretty. On their small island in the South Blue, they were only tough and callous with greasy hair and pocked skin from a life of hardship. But from the time puberty hit, he always attracted the wrong attention.
He grew his bangs out to hide the long dark lashes framing bright blue eyes. Keeping his hair shaggy and long, barely brushed, he carried the small hope it would become the texture of straw instead of silk. It didn’t help that even after his voice dropped, his laughter remained high-pitched. Every time Kid cracked a joke in the scrapyard, he could see the leering eyes of the men taking notice of him. Men who would call him baby or doll as he passed by to get home. Men that would grab his arm and tell him only they could treat him right, show him how to put his plush lips to “good use.” He sliced open the stomach of one such gross man that thought he was as dainty as his facial features portrayed.
From then on, Kid started calling him Killer and he liked it. Adopting the moniker, Kid helped Killer become what he needed to be to survive the world that cursed his physical appearance. They tore through the towns cutting and maiming anyone that dared laugh at them. Once Kid gained his devil fruit, they began adding other misfits and cast-offs to their crew in their search for the One Piece. The Captain and his First Mate made a name for themselves as terrors of the South Blue. An unfortunate pirate drunkenly called Killer, “the captain’s bitch.” Kid flayed him alive and roasted his crew on pikes resulting in their first bounties.
He started wearing a mask after the incident. Kid was angry at first, thinking Killer was just “giving in” to the taunts and jeers. Killer continued to put on lipstick and eyeliner every day like his Captain but covered his painted face. Kid couldn’t understand. He was unabashedly himself, not caring what others thought or said. But Killer’s mind was consumed with the darkest sentiments of men and he was tired. It would have been easier if Kid loved him in the way he wanted and needed. So many times it was on the tip on Killer’s tongue, to ask if Kid felt that way towards him. But Kid had been the only constant in Killer’s life and he couldn’t bring himself to ruin what they had.
Being friends with Kid meant Killer couldn’t shy away from sex, no matter how much it unnerved him. In their younger days, Kid would drag Killer with him to all sorts of seedy establishments taking bets on who would get propositioned first. Kid always lost the initial bet as Killer attracted suitors quickly but won when it came down to who got their dick wet first. His Captain had no standards resulting in near non-stop antibiotics since he was sixteen. Killer wore his mask during every hookup and that made it easier. Easier to push down the ever present desire for more, for something deeper. But coming across a meaningful relationship was near impossible on the high seas.
Every time they docked, Kid would hit up every brothel and bar only returning to the Victoria Punk once he was satisfied. Killer began to just stay behind on the ship. He justified that it was what was best for the crew. They were full fledged pirates now and needed to be on guard especially when their Captain was busy. Killer couldn’t bring himself to find enjoyment in the purely physical. He wanted emotional intimacy. He wanted someone to want him not because he was “pretty” or looked “like a girl,” but because of who he was. He wanted to be loved.
The fight with the Red Hair Pirates scarred him but not enough. His face was left untouched even after he silently begged Shanks to do the same to him as his Captain. In the New World, Killer worked every day to help Kid get stronger. He packed on pure muscle to become more intimidating, fiercer but kept his face covered except to a select few. He still wore the makeup underneath the mask. A fact the Beast Pirates relentlessly mocked once it was removed after their solid defeat at the hands of Kaido.
Killer fought back tears as he was separated from Kid. Not from fear, Killer had long ago steeled his nerves when presented with danger. No, the burn in his eyes came from hearing his best friend screaming for him. Promising to decimate Kaido if Killer was harmed, promising to wreck unholy vengeance on those that crossed his crew. Only distance silences Kid’s threats. Killer holds his emotions back, knowing now is not the time to become unhinged or sloppy, he’s surrounded by too many unknown faces and hands.
Without devil fruit powers, the torture has to be more creative than simple water or seastone cuffs. Killer does not allow a single emotion to cross his face. He will not allow these men to break him, to see how they affect him. He’s not sure how much time has passed, could be days, weeks, a month before Orochi presents him with a choice.
“Eat this and I’ll give you a chance to save your captain.” The man sneers. Killer knows there must be a catch, he’s not foolish enough to believe Orochi will make it easier for him. He will become an assassin, killing anyone Orochi commands him to. Also by eating the devil fruit, he will no longer be able to swim. Losing such a crucial ability for a pirate gives Killer pause. He has saved Kid an innumerable amount of times from drowning. But anything that gets him out of this room and away from the hands and words is enough. If it gives him an inch of freedom, he’ll find a way back to Kid. He’ll find a way to exact the revenge Kid promised. They’ll figure out the rest later.
The first bite actually tastes good and Killer knows something is wrong. His body does not change and no new knowledge of the devil fruit’s abilities comes to him. Orochi begins laughing at Killer’s confused expression. As the anger builds inside, threatening to spill over, Killer joins in the men's laughter. No matter how much he tries, he can’t stop. His distinct laugh causes the men to roar even louder. He hears them call him one of the “Pleasures” and his body seizes up as his laughter continues to be forced past his lips.
Killer adopts the moniker Kamazo, just another name for him to, again, survive in this cruel world. He slays the people Orochi instructs him to and doesn’t stop the carnage until his robes are soaking in their blood. Even becoming an emotionless assassin isn’t enough to quell the soft “fwa fwa fwa” that peppers his speech now. After he fails to kill the child, Kamazo doesn’t fight the men Orochi sends after him.
The screams of his Captain pull Killer back. Seeing Kid hit by multiple bullets as he races to Killer’s side, breaks the dam he’s been holding back since arriving in this damn land. Tears and laughter flow like a current as Kid pleads with him to explain what happened. But Killer can’t form words beside the god damn “fwa fwa fwa” to answer him. Kid wraps his remaining arm around Killer and cries with him until they are forcibly pulled apart. The trek to Udon is long and Kid talks to him the entire way, that he will fix this and will bring a reckoning down on Wano, that he loves Killer.
It had always been enough to be loved by his Captain and best friend. It was enough to be loved by his crewmates that he had sailed from Hell and back with. It was enough to hide away his face so that no one could use it against him. Killer told himself it was enough. But it wasn’t. Not even close.