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you dream of him, in the years since you cut him off.
and when your world isn’t a blurred tapestry of battle and bloodshed—he takes over your thoughts, then, too. all your actions are defined by his absence from your side.
not that it really matters. you think he’d hate you, now.
(you crave it, his hand around your throat—venom soft and gentle on his lips as he kisses you. you wish that he'd taste of death. you long for it to end in his hands.)
all the soldiers you watch die to the honkai, all the people you could not save. your old phone number has long since been deactivated, you are too afraid to call him again. you don’t want him to find this place. you don’t want him to find you—or whatever it is that you have become.
(you dream of blood that trails down your throat, he would smile—soft in his cruelty, he would kiss your heart before his blade strikes it true.)
(except—)
he is too kind, you tell yourself, staring at the cracked screen of your old phone. the wallpaper is a photo you had taken at edens’ concert, his eyes are wide with wonder, the flashing lights reflected in his irises.
i think you’re beautiful, the sight of his awe had left you breathless, you are the loveliest person i've ever seen.
the camera had focused only on him, the other people in the stands fading into splatters of color, nothing back a backdrop to your portrait of him. even back then, the only thing that mattered was him.
he glows, even now, in your memory of the halcyon days; back when you thought it could be just you and him in your blissful ignorance, your very own garden of eden.
but you are not adam, and he is not eve, and yet—the serpent still came. instead of the apple, you had bitten your tongue and swallowed your scream as the honkai ripped a man apart in front of you.
there was no forbidden knowledge gained, but the past is out of reach, you will never be able to return to that garden again.
(but is it the ignorance that you missed? or did you grieve because you gave up him?)
you want to carve out a hole in your heart—let him fill it up with everything he’s ever loved, so that you could be a part of it too. you want hold his hand, let yourself marvel at how right it feels. his fingers fitting in the empty space between yours—as if the whatever god there is had made him just for you. you thought it was selfish, then.
you think you are still selfish, now.
he is too kind, you remind yourself. you know it is an excuse, still—you continue to repeat it in your mind.
a part of you wants to keep him in the light, your only north star when the ocean of blood threatens to drown you whole. keep him happy and untainted by all of your sins, your only solace even when the honkai takes everything else.
another part—the cold, cold voice that emerges when you come back from yet another mission the only survivor—wants to drag him down with you. claw at his ankles and pull him into the void, corrupt his entire being, have your darkness devour him whole, so he can be yours to hold until the end.
you dream of him in your arms, your face pressed into the crook of his neck because you cannot bring yourself to look at his face. the reminder of all you’ve left behind. he says nothing, but he smells like the first rain of spring, of daybreak after the great flood, the gentle arrival of dawn.
he is still your su. his arms are warm like this is the place you’ve been all this time, like he has been with you all along. he says nothing, but his warmth is the only sense you know, how else was the world suppose to be? if not you both holding each other, the salvation of the damned—
there is desperation here, when a sinner has been graced with the embrace of an angel—perhaps of the messiah himself:
am i still your friend, su? am i still the kevin you know? my lungs are filled with smoke, su, with every breath i take, the ashes of those i’ve failed fills my lungs.
when my day of reckoning comes—when all i that is left of my humanity is you; when the illusion is lifted and you see me for the bloodstained monster i’ve become, the twisted being i’ve been all along—what then, su? can you still look me in the eyes, then? can you see me for who i am now?
su,
su,
su,
only your name can bring me back from the brink of madness.
you are my only anchor. you are my everything, my only reason for being, whatever is left of my heart all belongs to you, su.
my thoughts have been consumed by your smile, your voice is god’s greatest act of mercy—your touch my only chance of salvation.
my world has always started and ends with you—su. i want you to guide me back to the light, i want you to fall down to damnation with me, i want you, for all that you are, for all you will ever be. please, never leave me here—the greatest punishment is to be in a world devoid of you.
i want to see you again, su.
how funny, the strongest human, begging for salvation at the illusionary form of his beloved.
still.
i want to see you. your arms around his waist, pulling him closer, closer, closer—
i want to see you. you trace the dip of his spine; you feel him shiver as he leans back into your touch—
i want to see you. you drag your hands from the curve of his neck, to the slope of his jaws, you brush your thumb under his eye and he tilts his head into your palm—
you press your forehead onto his and you let yourself relax, basking in his presence, it’s not real but you have ceased to care, still, you brush your lips against his cheek.
i miss you so much.
he doesn’t respond, because it has been years, and you are starting to forget what he sounds like. his old number is still in your phone, you want to call him, just once, to savor the sound of his voice, to capture and replay in your head like a broken record, until his laugh rings eternally in your ears—all that is beautiful in the world, whatever is left that's worth saving—it will always begin and end with su.
**
it has been a long time since you can recall what day it is, the day of eden’s concert, all those years ago, is the only date you can remember, the last day he saw you. your days are filled with monotony, wake up, kill the honkai, rest, repeat, ad infinitum.
you cannot recall what happened the day before, how many more you have watched die. you did not expect that to change, until the serpent returns, her grin makes you sick to your stomach, when she opens her mouth, you think you saw a glimpse of her fork-shaped tongue:
“he’s got potential. what say you?”
his hair is shorter, is your first thought when you see a picture of him. his features sharper, but still gentle, though the light has dimmed from his eyes, it is not gone. but you can’t focus for long, the serpent is still in the room, poised and ready to strike—to sink her fangs into him and poison him whole, rotting his soul from inside out.
you won’t let her.
you’ll kill her yourself before she ever gets a chance.
your face does not shift from years of training, but you feel your fingers twitch in your gloves.
ah, you think, resigned, but for once, you find humor in your circumstances, of course i reacted like this—of course it’d be you, su.
“why are you asking me?”
mobius puts down the files and turns towards you, her serpentine pupils coldly gazing over you, as if you were another test subject for her to pick apart. the green glow of the lab behind her as it shines onto su’s file only serves to heighten your unease.
“stop pretending, kevin,” you feel your eye twitch, she smirks and continues, her voice is more obviously excited, now, like a child getting a new toy, “i know your relationship with him, and i know cut him off after you joined the MOTHs…to keep him from finding this place.”
your reply is instantaneous, it is the same words you’ve been telling yourself since the honkai rained down upon nagazora—since you stepped onto a path you hope he’ll never follow, “he’s your opposite. he won’t agree to work with you.”
her lips curve into a twisted amalgamation between a sneer and a smug grin, “but that assumes we have other options,” your irritation causes the temperature in the lab to drop, she shivers and you take that as a small victory, still, she continues, “he’ll understand, right?”
you want to deny her words, but you can’t. it’s been five years since you’ve seen him—you don’t know your best friend anymore, do you, kevin? so all you give her is a cold silence that delights her all the same. before she could say anything else, you’ve already made your way out of the lab.
you find his file on your bed, that night, the bright red ‘accepted’ stamp mocks you even in your sleep.
**
the first time you meet again in person is seconds before he collapses in front of you.
you knew he lived in this city, you had read his entire file the same night you got it, unable to get a restful sleep from the screams that came with the nightmares.
you ran the second you heard there was an outbreak. you can’t hesitate, you learned that lesson the moment you faltered and your comrade got skewered because you had been too slow. you cannot be too slow now; you will not lose su. you cut and burn your way through the hoards of honkai beasts, scanning the city for any signs of su, until—
“we need some clean up, kevin.”
speirs voice rings through and the comms and you head to his location, because you are nothing if not a loyal dog, humanity’s strongest warrior, just another battle, just another enemy to burn—
then your sight focuses, and there is a beast and it looms above su, it would be seconds before it lands and crushes him, you could see it, his head against the concrete and his blood will flow red, his skin will grow cold and pale as the life leaves his soul—you don’t need to think, you don’t even hesitate, you leaped and cut that beast down where it stands.
shock is evident on his face and before he collapses—honkai infection spreading rapidly onto his face—he manages to say your name, surprise coloring his voice. you were in front of him in seconds, breaking his fall with your body. his forehead against your chest, and if it weren’t for the infection, you’d be glad he wasn’t awake to hear how loud your heart is beating.
speirs is behind you in an instant and he speaks, “good work, kevin, leave the two of them, the agents can take it from here.”
his words barely register as your world slows down until all you know is that su is in front of you and that he is going to die if he isn’t cured, you don’t care what mobius or the other doctors think, you will get the cure for him, even if you have to kill a thousand for the antibody yourself.
“no,” you say, taking the girl out of su’s arms and picking him up yourself, you can feel your voice break as you continue, “i can take him myself.”
speirs pauses, you don’t know what he’s thinking, because all you can do is look at su’s face as the lines of the infection slowly cover his eyes.
trying to take his life is the greatest sin the honkai has and will ever commit, and for that alone, you will burn them all to ash. your expression must have conveyed something similar, because speirs relents and lets you take him back to HQ.
the doctors take him from you soon enough, but you wait outside his operating room as speirs walks out, you don’t bother to care about what he’s doing.
“you’ll use the cure for him,” you say.
it’s not a request. your voice is frigid and hoarse, like you’ve spent hours screaming—when in reality you couldn't bring yourself to say anything at all,
you allow yourself to break the cold façade, you'll do whatever it takes to keep su alive.
“i already did,” speirs sounds tired, but satisfied, “his research is invaluable, i don’t know why he wasn’t recruited sooner. he will be beneficial in our battle against the honkai. i know you want to keep him from the…unsavory parts of MOTH, kevin, but humanity must defeat the honkai, and we all need to make sacrifices.”
not him, you think, closing your eyes, i’d give everything else. but not him.
you don’t say that, though, that secret is for you to hold alone.
instead, you ask, “when can i see him?”
“we’re moving him to another room, soon, you can visit then. he won’t be awake for a few more days.”
all you can do is nod, before getting up leaving the ward.
i’ll see you later, su.
**
you hold his wrist, squeezing gently with your thumb so that you could feel his pulse, remind yourself that he is still here, his heart is still beating. if he were anyone else, he’d probably flinch from the cold touch to the skin, your body temperature so low that no one could stand to stay close for long. but su isn’t awake just yet, or maybe you just want to hold onto him for a little longer.
regardless, you allow yourself to breathe for the first time next to him.
you watch his chest rise and fall with every breath, his complexion better than when you had first seen him. your heartbeat rings in your ears as his beats in your palm, you wish that the world could slow its course, so you can just stay here for a while longer and pretend that the present is just you and him, alone in your own world. where he is safe. where there is a chance that he would turn and look at you with a fraction of what you feel for him.
but the world is cruel, and the honkai are still here. still, you think you are allowed a moment’s rest.
with your other hand, you gently brush his hair out of his forehead and rest it on his face, his skin warm against your touch, you cup his face, absently tracing circles on his cheekbones.
“i’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe,” you whisper.
it’s a promise to su, and a declaration against the world. he is your heart, your shadow, your soul—and his light must live on, no matter the cost.
**
you can’t bring yourself to see him awake, though.
you can face hoards of honkai without flinching, you think this is a cowardly act you are allowed to make—you hear of him, though.
it seems speirs has made good of his promise, and soon enough, MOTH makes progress in the science department, coming up with more ways to suppress the honkai. you try not to listen much, he has claimed enough of your mind, both waking and asleep, but you work with mobius—who tells you all too much, just for a chance to make you twitch, you keep yourself composed, just to spite her.
it’s in one of these meetings with her and mei that you hear of the 8th herrscher. su had managed to gather enough information to put them down for good, a part of you flinches at the thought of him coming to harm, another part is glad that he could survive the honkai, that it won’t take him from you too.
“i’m going to assign him project stigma,” mei says, calculating as ever.
you think you would resent her for that decision if it weren’t for the fact that you could see why she made it. you both are two sides of the same coin after all, ruthless and rational, you both want to defeat the honkai, more than anything. su may have your heart, but your body and your mind are programmed to take down the honkai, no matter the cost.
but still, project stigma is the cruelest of her plans, and even if you wanted su to accept it, you know that something like that, even if su would do it for humanity’s survival, it would stain his very soul. and you aren’t prepared to watch that happen yet. still, you say nothing, because mobius is watching you with something akin to victory, and you won’t give her any more of su than you already have.
“do you want me to bring you to him?” she asks, not bothering to hide her glee.
“i’ll do it,” you say, getting up from your seat, “i’ll check on the 8th herrscher’s progress, too.”
the three of you all know that’s a lie.
“thank you, kevin,” mei says, and you are grateful that she is willing to let this go.
you leave the meeting room.
you walk down the corridors until you reach the lab, the stench of blood already permeating the air, every victory against the honkai comes at a cost, and this time, the one paying the price is su.
he is sitting on a bench, the bodies of the fallen covered in white cloth and laid out in the room, he is staring lifelessly at the floor, a bottle in hand. and you…do not know how to help him grieve. you have forgotten that yourself, after all, in the years of battles that have happened since you joined, somewhere in that time, you started expecting to be the only one left alive, to see everyone die in front of you. the title of the strongest does not come without a cost.
all you can do is look at what is still here, what you could still lose. you gently take the bottle out of his hands, turning his attention to you.
“drinking isn’t good for you.”
he looks at you with grief in his eyes, and your heart shudders with relief. he can still feel. he is still here. he is still human. there is still something worth protecting, he is someone worth fighting for.
you cannot offer him condolences, too numb to the loss of every battle against the honkai, the best you can give him is your silence, and allow him a few more seconds to grieve. still, bringing up what mei had sent him for right now is cruel, and you want to soften it all for him, as much as possible.
you don’t know what you are doing, perhaps you hope that you can try to give him closure.
“thanks to the data you collected, dr. mei will soon corner the 8th herrscher…” his eyes are filled with so much emotion, it pains you that you can’t discern them anymore, you don’t know to look at him, and so you look away.
“kevin…” his voice is hesitant and scratchy, like he isn’t sure if you are real or not.
“i’m sorry about professor speirs…”
he sighs, his grief is so heavy, and yet you do not know how to help lift it for him, “it’s not just him. almost every researcher in this lab has been killed.”
you don’t know how to let him grieve, so you go forward, the only path you know how to walk, “by the way, su, you have an invitation from dr. mei…she hopes you can be transferred to our HQ and take part in project stigma.”
“project stigma?” he looks up, the grief is still in his voice and the way he moves, but it’s being overshadowed by shock, maybe, and incomprehension.
you give him time to process. it’s so cruel to ask of him, to make him move on while the wound is still fresh and the grief is so raw. his expression is filled with melancholy, and his eyes glisten like they are welling up with tears, still, he doesn’t cry.
for a second you wonder what you would do if he shed tears, but you know the answer in your heart—you'd let him hold onto you, for as long as he’d like—let him feel all he has to in front of you, because he is your heart and your soul, your only tether to humanity and he should be allowed to do whatever he wished. but the honkai takes and takes, and all you can give him is a few minutes of grief, a few more seconds to mourn.
“su…” he looks at you with something akin to desperation, why, he’d think, why did they have to die? why do we have to suffer? why does the honkai destroy everything we hold dear?
how pathetic you are kevin, you can’t even give him an answer.
you rest your hand on his shoulder, and he doesn’t brush you away. “we can’t let their sacrifice be in vain. we’ll defeat the honkai. no matter the cost.”
he closes his eyes, blinking away his tears, but one still falls and you brush it away for him, neither of you say anything. he takes a deep breath, two, and looks at the line of bodies on the floor.
“thank you, kevin” he says softly, touching your gloved hand on his shoulder, “i’m fine now, we can go, if you’d like.”
the last part is a lie, su’s hand’s shake ever so slightly when they touch yours, and his throat bobs from swallowing the grief—you want to shout at him, grab him by the shoulders and ask him why he’s pretending, why he thinks he can fool you.
maybe it’s from the five years of separation, maybe he believes you don’t hold him just as dearly as you did, then, whatever it is, you know that the blame lies on you. you say nothing, but you hold onto his hand and his eyes soften just a little, and he looks at you like he did five years ago, there is still a hint of despair in his eyes, but the sharp edges of grief have dulled—his small smile is the best you can get.
he doesn't let go, and you want to touch him until end of the world and even after—so you held on, and you didn’t let go.
**
you two are closer, after that. maybe it’s the shared grief, or maybe su being physically near you again made you relearn how to be with him again.
whatever it is, it leads up to you finding him asleep on his desk, his hair, now down to the middle of his back splayed around him. you walk up to him, gently patting his shoulder.
“su,” you whisper, “if you’re going to sleep, do it on your bed, your back will hurt in the morning if you sleep like this.”
he makes a sigh of discontent that makes your heart twist before you gently shake him again.
“su, wake up.”
he makes another grunt of annoyance before shuffling and curling his head into his arms as he drifts off to sleep again.
you smile, slightly, he’s just as hard to wake as he was back then. but he doesn’t have to be awake now, so you pick him up as you did when you were reunited and gently laid him down onto his bed, covering him in his blanket before brushing a stray lock of his hair behind his ear. his hand comes up to yours.
“thank you…kevin.”
ah, you feel as if your lungs are running out of air, he is still so gentle, and project stigma…su can keep his humanity, there is still something you can protect. you’ve already been ruined long ago, another bullet onto your large list of sin is nothing—you don’t want him to fall down to damnation with you anymore. maybe you never have.
“su,” you whisper, “i hope you’ll forgive me for what i will do.”
su doesn’t respond, because he is asleep, but you stroke his face one last time before quietly leaving the room. you have to find mei. you won’t lose su to the honkai too.
**
“kevin,” su says, breathless from rushing to your room, no doubt, “what’s going on.”
you look at him, you have long since accepted your fate, but your greatest wish…perhaps it is to spare him from his. you feel nothing but calm acceptance at this.
“su.” you say, even and neutral, it only stuns him more.
“kevin, project stigma was supposed to be entrusted to me, not you,” his face is pained, and he looks at you like he might lose you, how foolish, you had given whatever was left of your soul to him years ago. he will always have you, “why?”
you don’t bother trying to hide the truth, mei is also close to su, she won’t change her mind.
“i volunteered.” you walk towards him, taking his hand in yours, he doesn’t pull away and instead he lets you trace along his palm as you explain. “project stigma…is a research led by mei and mobius, though it coincides with your research field, but in this sense…it’s the least compatible with you.”
“but it’s also the same for you!” he isn’t shouting, but his voice is a little louder, his other hand coming up to your face, his voice lowering into a hoarse murmur, “you always blame yourself for irreparable sacrifices and shoulder everything alone…i know it’s tormenting you. you don’t want the sacrifices to happen either.”
ah. perhaps the fool has been you all along. it seems no matter what you do, you both will find your way back to each other, and his soul still knows yours as he did before, still, if sinking into the darkness will spare his light, you will gladly drown so he could continue to breathe as a human. for you, there is nothing left to take away, all the good in you has been given to him the moment you accepted this path. all that’s left to lose is him.
“even so, i must go on,” as long as it spares you, i will gladly tear my humanity apart, as long as it spares you, you don’t say this, your feelings are yours, and you want to spare him the needless guilt, you’ve dug your grave a long time ago, kevin, and you will gladly lay in it, for him, for su, “i’ve chosen this path. there’s no reason for you to let your heart die as well, i have nothing left to take away, su, this path only needs one to walk it.”
he looks at you, for a few seconds, before saying:
“no,” he pulls you into his arms and you freeze, stunned, “i won’t let you do it alone. mei has assigned a new project to me—project valuka. i’ll observe parallel universes to find solutions. if i can find the solution through such means, you won’t need to implement project stigma, it’s the last resort, not a requisite…i won’t allow you to do something so cruel. i’ll stay with you until the end.”
the cold white walls of your room fade into a softer yellow. the biting colds of winter are blown away with the early arrival of spring. he surprises you, yet again. your words are caught in your throat, whatever argument you had come up with fades away, you still won’t let him lose his heart, but perhaps he can simply stay by your side until the end. you return his embrace, allowing yourself to hold his warmth against you again.
“thank you, su,” you whisper his name as if it were a prayer, reverence dripping off your tongue, the end of the last journey made by the last man on earth. you feel as if the weight of your sins and slowly lifting, perhaps there’s salvation waiting for you after all. you don’t know how much it means to me, how much you to me, “thank you.”
**
the peace does not last long, because the 14th herrscher descends, and you watch all your friends die to her hands, you are only able to push her back, but even then, you know your world has been destroyed. mei is dead. now su and hua are the only two left.
in her letter, mei tells you she left you a clone to continue your bloodline, humanity will need strong warriors, and you are the strongest of them all, it would be needlessly cruel, she writes, to hand on yet another burden to you. you mourn all those you’ve lost, and in the end, it seems time can’t take away everything, and mei is still the friend you made in high school—all those years ago.
before you and the remnants of this era fall into your deep sleep, you hope in your heart that humanity will truly prevail the war this time.
**
when you reawaken, generations have passed and the world has rebuilt itself—hua has moved to another continent to work on her own project, while you and su observed as the new era builds itself up from the dust of your old world.
they gave you both many names, and even more legends, in some, you were even lovers, su seems flustered by them, so you don’t bring it up, but you hold them close to your heart, no one else needs to know but you.
it does not last, however, because the honkai finds it’s way back to this era, and the chaos began again. wars, plagues, and death fills the air.
chiyou awakens, and fuxi and nuwa are gone—then all you can see is sakura dying next to her blade, mobius’s corpse in her lab, and elysia’s dying smile.
for three thousand years, you’ve observed the new humans, and it seems history will repeat itself after all. and what you had thought then holds true now, your heart and soul belong to su, but your body and your mind will ensure humanity defeats the honkai, no matter the cost.
when you bring up project stigma, you can see him hesitate, there are endless universes in the sea of quanta, and so much he has much to go through, three thousand years is not nearly enough to look through them all, this you know, and you will never blame su, he is still only human after all. if only you had more time.
but the honkai does not wait, and you know what you have to do.
so you started experimenting, a small village near your base, you keep it from su, but he is sharp, he’ll find out soon enough, and you will see his resolve harden, he will come and stop you.
but a part of your teen self still lingers, that small dying spark that hopes he will choose you over the world. but you prepare for the worst, because the honkai will still take, and you will not lose him too.
when he brings you over to his seed of sumeru, you are prepared to defend yourself, you can never bring yourself to kill him, but you can push him back enough to get back out. you had expected a trap.
you did not expect him to throw his life onto the line.
did he think himself that worthless to you? that you would choose the world over him as he did with you? you had released shamash at zeroth power to destroy the trap but now…
you release your ice, honkai taking over half your body as you freeze the herrscher’s fire whole. there is no point in fighting, the trap will seal you away into the sea and killing su…it would be no different than killing yourself.
so, you threw him out of your cage, he doesn’t have to be jailed up with you. told him to continue his project, and as you looked up at him, you feel elation like you had when you first saw him again after five years. his life still radiant despite thousands of years, his humanity shining through even now.
ah. you couldn’t help yourself, how could you? when he is still as ethereal as he was when you were teenagers, when instead of shock and the sea of quanta in his eyes, it had been awe and the lights of eden’s concert. you don’t stop yourself.
you smile.
**
it’s quiet, in the sea. time has no meaning here, so you don’t bother to count, you make yourself comfortable with waiting—for what? you aren’t quite sure
su’s seed is frozen in time, too, everything in here reminds you of him, and the leaves that fall down tell you that he is still watching. you can feel his life, as it hums from his old tree, but as time passes, a century or a second? you aren’t quite sure anymore.
then you start to feel it's flicker, his life force—slowly draining as the tree loses its life. your concern and unease grow as the tree starts to wither and fade. su. what is happening to him?
it’s cruel, that he can still see you, but you have no idea what is happening to him, is this what karma is?
it’s perhaps the cruelest punishment from whatever is left of the divine—for a man near empty as you to have su, the only radiant light in your dimming black hole of a heart, be where you can’t follow.
your senses have been deprived of him, it feels as if someone is tearing out the remnants of your soul from your broken corpse, piece by piece. is that what su felt back then, when you cut all contact and signed your soul off to MOTH? had he felt lost, too? unaware of where to go without the half of his soul? you hope the world wouldn’t be cruel enough to tie his soul down with something like you.
if there is a god up there, they sure have a twisted sense of humor.
the tree is still dying. su isn’t getting better.
you feel a new presence in su’s new seed, and the first words you hear from him in years (centuries? millennia?) feel like a final goodbye.
then the new person, too, vanishes, and the last of the leaves fall.
you could feel su’s bubble as it falls and sinks into the sea.
you ripped open your bubble with a wall of ice as you traverse through the sea, slaughtering all the quantum shadows in your way until you find—him.
or—whatever is left.
ah. fuck.
do you see it now, kevin?
you are too late.
your heart is gone.
this is the price humanity pays for defying the Will of God.
**
we are not gods, su had said to you, then. and for a split second there, you had wanted to pull him into your arms, hold him close and beg him to pretend that you both are. if you were both gods, the entire world can be just him, in your arms, his heartbeat against your chest, your heart, your soul, your humanity. the world is only worth defending if he is there, alive and smiling, in it.
but he was right, and you are neither god nor human, the honkai still plagues this desolate world, and your light is now gone, his cold body lifeless in your arms.
for the first time in millenniums, your frozen heart thaws with the burning rage to destroy.
is this what kalpas had meant, when he talked of a never-ending war?
your fight is no longer about protecting—there is nothing left to defend, no love left to be taken away.
for taking him from you, for blowing out his light, you will kill the will of the honkai with your own hands.
the serpent slithers back, for all you thought to have left behind. there is nothing left of your humanity, you pick up su’s body from the old seed, gently cradling him in your arms, positioning his head onto your chest—even if there’s no soul left to hurt. su should be loved and cherished, even in death. you hold him close, a reminder that your heart still beats, when his has stopped and will never start again.
mobius’s serpent is now yours to command. your world is dead. your heart is gone. there is nothing left to save. there is only the honkai to destroy.
project stigma is reborn now.
**
there is a room in the world serpent’s base, deep underground, far from human reach, where no one but the sire is allowed to step near. inside the room lies a large sprawling forest, the garden of flowers is well maintained, and there is always wind blowing despite being deep beneath the earth. at the center of this tranquil land, however, is a glass coffin where he lies, serene as if he were sleeping, his coffin made to look as if he had been frozen in ice. his body long since frozen in time, dead, but never rotting. it doesn’t have to be, this man’s body could be ashes blowing in the wind, and the sire would know him regardless. their souls know each other, be it in life or death. the heart of the serpent. even inside a coffin as cold as his, the warmth of his other half still shines true.
the sire gently touches the glass separating him and his love and smiles, closing his eyes. when his clock runs out, when his duty is done, when the honkai all perish, and he can pass on in peace…whatever the afterlife is, he hopes you’ll be there to greet him, su. the serpent’s greatest wish is to be reunited with his beloved, one last time, for then, they shall have the rest of eternity to spend together.