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I don’t want to believe it. But who am I to deny the video footage right in front of my face? I know it’s too old and too consistent to be edited in any way. F.R.I.D.A.Y. scanned it too.
There it was. My mother. Shot. By the Winter Soldier. Both my parents gone. Murdered by the Winter Soldier. I let my helmet retract. Murdered by the man behind me.
“Tony, Tony,” Steve grabs my shoulder. He looks concerned.
“Did you know?” I whisper. Tears forming in my eyes. Please, please don’t have known.
“I didn’t know it was him.” Steve’s hands twitch a bit, he wants to move, to leave.
“Don’t bullshit me, Rogers.” My breathing picks up a bit. “Did. You. Know.”
He sighs. “Yes.” He looks apologetic.
I stumble back. I tilt my head up, looking him straight in the eye. I can’t tell what he’s feeling. Why didn’t he tell me?! Did he not trust me? Was he just using me? He was! The helmet clangs back over my face. Bucky’s right over there. Steve. Steve. Why?
I punch Steve in the face. Hard. He falls backward. I raise my arm to block the bullets firing from Barnes' gun. I fly over and rip the gun out of his hands. I see a sliver of fear appear in his eyes for a moment. Good. Let him feel like my parents. I grab him and thrust to the other end of the room, hurling him into a machine. He grunts as he starts pushing himself up. I ready my repulsors.
“Maximum power,” I mutter to F.R.I.D.A.Y..
Roger’s shield strikes me from behind. Rogers barges into me from behind, my shoulders hit the floor and Rogers holds down my ankles. Barnes punches me. I shove him to the side and lift Rogers and slam him against a machine, locking pipes around him. I raise a fist to launch a rocket at him, but the Winter Soldier catches and twists my arm. I activate the rocket, but too late. Rogers slices his shackles as a towering structure of pipework collapses. The Winter Soldier and I are thrown down a level as twisted metal falls around us, showering sparks.
“Get out of here!” I hear Steve yell at Bucky. To Bucky.
The Winter Soldier bolts, I shoot but miss by inches. I aim again but Steve stands in front of me.
“It wasn’t him, Tony!” It was him. I saw the video, Rogers. Why didn’t you tell me? “Hydra had control of his mind!”
“Move.” I don’t want to fight you. I can’t. I killed Obie. I don’t want to kill you. I hate you. Why did you betray me? First Obie than you? Who's next? Pepper? No. No she wouldn’t. Why Steve. Who can I trust now?
“It wasn’t him!” Rogers yells again. It was him. I saw the video. Why didn’t you tell me?
I fly up, after the Winter soldier. Steve grabs my left ankle, crushing it a bit. I shoot some rubble and it falls on him. I fly up, slower and sputtering.
“Left boot jet failing. Flight systems compromised.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. says.
“Aw crap.” I mutter.
Bucky jumps from platform to platform. I’m not faster than him but I’m going straight up, he has to spiral. I catch up and kick him. I go to shoot him, should've hit him but it rebounds off of Steve’s shield and onto me. And I fall. I feel my breathing speed up. No. Not now. Fuck PTSD.
I’m falling through the night sky in the mark two. Arc reactor failing. I can see Obadiah, iced in that giant suit falling. I wish I knew what went through his head. We were friends, weren't we? Or was he just an old man taking pity on a kid without a family?
I slam into a lower platform. Ow. I stand up. I fly up to them again. Rogers shoots a wire around my neck. He jerks me down. He tosses the shield at me. I swat it back and fire at the Winter Soldier.
I’m back on the arc reactor building, Obadiah has me held tight. Pepper’s down there.
I rip the wire off my neck.
“Come on, come on.” I try to aim at the Winter Soldier.
“Targeting system's knackered, boss.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. informs me.
“I’m eyeballing it.” My helmet retracts. I shut one eye and zero into Barnes. Thankfully my genius kicks in when I remember he’s a super soldier and shooting him will do shit. So I aim for the hatch. I break the hinge. I fly up to him. He swings a pipe at me. I block hit after hit before locking him in a headlock.
“Do you even remember them?!" I scream. Why? Why?!
He stops struggling for a split second. “I remember.” He shoves against the walkway. “All. Of. Them.” We both fall. Steve jumps into us. Rogers and I land on the concrete floor next to the opening where snow is still blowing in.
“This isn’t going to change what happened!” Steve yells, standing between me and the platform the Winter Soldier is now on.
“I don’t care.” Maybe if you had told me I would have listened to you if you told me. “He killed my mom.”
We exchange punches. He tosses the shield, but I deflect it. It bounces somewhere behind him. I end up pinning Rogers down. The Winter Soldier picks up the shield and leaps down to help. The two super soldiers fist fight with me. Two against one. Very fair. The shield changes hands between them. I ultimately manage to zap Rogers who is thrown back into the wall.
It’s just the Winter Soldier and me. I’ve sparred with and fought beside Steve, so he knows my fighting style. Barnes does not. I’m getting in more hits than him. I was winning, but he got more aggressive. I take a step back. Another. Next thing I know I’m pinned against the wall. He grabs my arc reactor with his metal arm.
I’m back on the couch in the old Malibu house. Obadiah is standing above me. He pulls out my reactor. I feel my heart seize and the shrapnel. I’m completely frozen there during his speech. He said he was going to kill Pepper.
I set off my chest blast. I blow his arm all the way off. I watch as Steve runs up with his shield. I fire. He blocks it.
“You should use the IM2 lasers boss. That’s the only way to beat him.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. informs me.
I ignore her. I can’t. I want to. But it hurt me to kill Obadiah . I can’t. I can’t lose anyone else. I can’t. I didn't want to kill him. I don’t want to kill them!
I’m losing. I can tell. Maybe I should have brought someone else. Heh, who would I have brought?
“Boss, you have to use the lasers. Shoot him or something!” F.R.I.D.A.Y. exclaims. She sounds anxious. Weird how both Jarvis and her and dum-ee and the rest kinda developed feelings. I’m glad they did. Humans don’t seem to like me very much.
Steve delivers a good hit to my head.
“You can't beat him hand to hand!”
“Analyze his fighting pattern,” I say. There should be enough past data to fight him.
“Scanning,” she responds. The HUD flashes as I barely block another blow, but many others land. “Counter Measures ready.”
I smirk. I feel my suit's joints move and grab the shield. “Let’s kick his ass.”
I rip the shield away from him and blast my hand repulsors at him, blowing him backwards. He lands next to Bucky.
“He’s my friend,” Steve grunts as he gets up and walks towards me.
“So was I,” I say just loud enough for him to hear. I can barely keep my voice from breaking. Was I ever his friend? Or was he just pitying me. I seem to be the second choice huh?
I punch him and throw him to the gap in the wall. “Stay down. Final warning.” Maybe I will use the IM2 lasers.
He gets up. Why? “I can do this all day.” So can I but… I know in the end I’ll beat you.
I raise my left arm to fire. The Winter Soldier grabs my leg and I spin and kick him instead. Steve grabs me from behind and I gasp as he lifts me up. He slams me into the ground.
Instead of Steve it's Obadiah. Instead of Steve it's an Ultron bot. It’s the blades of the helicarrier. It’s the sinking feeling when I couldn’t help when S.H.I.E.L.D. fell. It’s the people who we couldn’t save in New York, in Sokovia, everywhere. We couldn’t save them all. I couldn’t save them all. Failure. Failure. Failure! Don’t waste your life.
Steve punches me and uses the shield to smash my helmet off. He raises the shield again. I raise my hands over my face. Just don’t mess up the face. He smashes the shield into the arc reactor. He just leaves it. Doesn’t…doesn’t kill me. He just shuts his eyes and slumps down beside me. I breath fast. He can’t do it either.
A few long moments later Rogers struggles up and he rips the shield out of the reactor. I wince as I roll onto my side and watch as he pulls the very bloodied Winter Soldier up. Steve looks pretty beat up too. So do I. They start walking away.
“That shield doesn’t belong to you!” I yell after him. “My father made that shield!” You are not the man my father loved more than me. That man wouldn’t have betrayed me. Or maybe Steve is. Obie betrayed me. “You don’t deserve it.”
Steve looks back and stops. He raises his chin and drops it. They walk out.
They’re gone. They left me here.
I slam my fist on the ground and let myself cry.
There’s no one here to watch.