Chapter Text
God it was so cold.
Strong winds hit Schlatt feeling like pins against his skin. He was numb all over, especially his hands that were shaking violently. He glanced down at his hands to examine them. His fingertips were worrying shades of red with tints of blue and purple, and his horns felt too heavy for his skull because of how weak he had become. It was as though they could break off at any moment.
Scattering snow that fell heavily from the cloudy grey sky clung to his dirtied suit, seeping through to touch his shivering back and shoulders. His clothes were nearly frozen, making every movement incredibly uncomfortable. His tucked in tail was numb almost like it didn't exist, not like he would care if it didn't.
It was clear he wasn't wearing the appropriate clothing for this weather.
The sound of snow crunching from Schlatt's black pointed shoes was blocked by the howling snowstorm. The rush of air made him stumble, almost losing his balance. He could barely feel shit from the waist down but he was certain blisters had already begun to form, hell maybe even frostbite.
His legs were growing weak and tired with each step. He had been walking aimlessly for who knows how long.
Now he didn't mean to go this far out, but because he had the greatest fucking luck in the world, he ended up getting chased by a group of traveling Brits in the nether who happened to recognize him. Leading him into a portal that took him to a tundra, of all things.
Schlatt had lost the election back at Man- L'man -berg. Wilbur got his wish and took the place of becoming the rightful President of the nation that could've been his – that was meant to be his . Yet somehow he still lost. Combining the votes just wasn't good enough, it seemed, which sounded downright pathetic.
Once Wilbur announced his leadership next to that podium, with the biggest shit eating grin. He, of course, exiled the man who had got in the way of his plans, that being Schlatt. And so, led him to where he is now; freezing himself to death in the middle of some damn winter wonderland.
He had been wandering for days after being exiled, living off of piss water and badly cooked meat. He couldn't risk being caught by Wilbur's men, or else he was a dead man. That curly-haired bastard hated his guts, and wanted him as far away as possible. Of course, Schlatt didn't want to abide by his rules, but the thought of death being in every possible corner made his skin crawl.
He wrapped his arms around himself tightly, desperate for any warmth.
His tail flicked with irritation. He could really use a drink right about now.
Schlatt was so busy being lost in his past problems that he hadn't noticed there was a sudden lack of trees around him. Becoming aware of this, he slowed his pace, looking around the open area.
In the distance he could faintly make out what appeared to be a cabin, actually two cabins. They looked to be connected by some pathway.
"Oh thank fuck ." He let out a weak chuckle, mouth sore from breathing out of it too much.
A wave of relief fell over him. He felt as though he would cry tears of goddamn joy. It had been too long since he had a proper roof over his head. Too long . Thank the lord if they have a fireplace in there too.
With all the strength he could muster, he pushed past thick snow that came up to his knees, grunting at the effort. The place had a fence bordering it that reached yards away. He guessed they owned animals, or just didn't want anyone coming near their home. Schlatt didn't pay much attention to it. Reaching the gate to the fence, he found he could open it with ease, as there was no snow tall enough to block it from the inside.
He closed the gate behind him, keeping his eyes on the cabins. They were well built, if he was being honest, none he'd ever seen before. The trap doors instead of glass for windows was a new look to him. The structures were quite small, but nice nonetheless.
Walking closer to it he could see the stables. One he guessed was for horses, and the other – judging by the large amounts of grey fur lying on the grass, some sort of dog house. Both of them were empty. Come to think of it, there were none of those two animals in sight, or any animal for that matter.
The owner of this place must've abandoned it not too long ago, seeing that there was still meat on the ground that was reeking from being left out. Not to mention the visible footprints in areas where the falling snow didn't cover. Abandoned or not, he'll find a way to convince whoever lives here to stay. He was J. fucking Schlatt after all, he knew how to find his way through people.
And yet you still lost the election.
Schlatt frowned at that. Yeah, so what if he did? Once he's in better condition, he'll go back and win that election to show those pricks who's boss.
That's if they let you back in. After how you were, it's unlikely that they'd nominate you again.
The sound of twigs snapping made Schlatt stop dead in hus tracks. He spun around, furrowing a brow. It sounded too close for comfort. He swore he could even feel hot breath on his neck from when he heard it. There was someone else there with him.
"Who was that?" He shouted. Did they see him? Shit, was it possible he was thinking aloud?
He started getting agitated as he received no answer. "You son of a bitch! You better not be stalking me! I don't like it when people fucking stalk me!" His voice became more frantic with his growing anxiety. There was no one there, just the sound of more wind.
Great, been in the cold for so long and he's already hearing things. Next thing you know, he's gonna be some wacko in the woods. He's honestly surprised he's made it this far while relying on his "survival skills".
He sighed.
Screw this . He needed to get away from the cold. He can deal with whatever just happened later.
He ran up the stairs to where he guessed was the front entrance to one of the cabins. Lifting a trembling hand, he knocked on the wooden door. He was only able to get one knock in though, as the first made the door creak open, making him flinch. Putting his hand back, he grew uneasy. This was becoming incredibly fucking eerie.
Hesitating, he steadily peeked his head inside.
"Uh, hello?..." He asked, uncertain.
When he received no answer, he slowly crept in, the door continuing to squeak as he did so. His shoes softly clacked on the wooden floor with his light and cautious steps. Schlatt squinted his eyes, it was hard to see. The only light visible was from the dim lanterns outside coming in through the windows.
Closing the door behind him, his body was consumed with warmth by the enclosed space, the icy air no longer hitting him. He immediately rubbed his hands together to heat them up. They were painfully numb.
He stopped focusing on his hands to see in front of him. Fixing his posture along with straightening his wrinkled suit, he cleared his throat. He was still a little shaken up from earlier, but he still tried to sound like his usual confident and professional self to ease his nerves.
"You should really get your locks checked." The hybrid called out.
He walked further in, "I mean c'mon, you're practically begging someone to rob you."
Schlatt continued to joke with a smirk, but it faltered when there was still no sign of anyone, just the rattling of the trapdoors filling the silence.
Whoever did live here clearly didn't care too much about it. The place looked like a dump. With objects all around the floor, furniture that looked like they'd been thrown in anger, and broken glass everywhere. It was fortunate Schlatt hadn't stepped on any of said glass.
Any thoughts of keeping this cabin for himself quickly left. It looked too much of a hassle for anyone to care for such a place.
He walked over to a hallway where there were multiple doors to rooms. He was starting to wonder how many people actually lived here.
A shining light caught the corner of his eye. Hanging up on the wall by wooden mounts were weapons and tools. Only one caught his attention. It was an axe, but not just any axe, it was an enchanted one.
Schlatt gasped at the sight. He'd never been so close to an enchanted weapon before, or well, clearly saw one before. They were always up in his face or too quick for him to notice during the times he'd see others in battle. Looking at it now, it was almost mesmerizing with its magical glowing force.
Schlatt thought for a moment. He's never held one before, he never needed to. Most of his life he was free from the outside world, he didn't need any enchantments for protection and, even if he did, it was always the guards who used them. He wasn't fond of all that dirty work anyway.
The ram hybrid slowly stretched his arm out almost like he was hesitant, he wasn't sure why. It was like there was another presence other than his own with him, warning him away. Oh please, do you really think anyone will notice? He shook away the feeling carelessly and lifted up the axe from off the wall with both his hands.
He yelped as it pulled his body down with it, hitting the floor as it made a huge dent in the wood. The echo sound it made from the impact was surely loud enough to wake every creature from miles away.
It was...heavier than he thought. Straining, he lifted it up again to have it rest on his shoulder.
Walking further down the hall, he noticed some paintings, some that looked in good condition while others were dusted and torn. He walked up to one that was bigger than the rest at the end of the hallway, making it stand out more.
He leaned in, actually putting the effort into focusing on the two figures in the painting. It was hard to see because of the lack of light. Once he processed who they were, he was startled. His eyes widened in shock.
This couldn't be real. This had to be a joke. Out of all the places? There was no way! No way in hell .
Schlatt could feel his heartbeat quicken. He knew these people, and he knew what they were capable of.
Standing in the painting was the famous blood-thirsty piglin, with those dangerously huge tusks that were so chillingly familiar. His crown and glasses he had on seemed far too small for him. He wore a dress shirt with loose brown pants, and a big fluffy red cloak that covered most of his bulking appearance.
The other was older and an Elytrian, his enormous and intimidating wings not fully fitting in the picture as they were spread out. The man had long blonde hair that was down to his shoulders, wearing green robes followed by some stupid striped bucket hat that nearly covered his eyes.
Techno and Philza. Also known as The Blood God and The Angel of Death.
The two most powerful beings. A duo that was known by all and able to make a whole kingdom quiver in fear just by their names.
Their expressions looked to be complete opposites. Techno with his bored and serious look, while Philza had the warmest smile. The old Elytrian almost looked innocent, but Schlatt knew he was far from that.
If this was their home, then that would explain the frightening amount of hung up weapons. As much as Schlatt didn't want to be right, he knew he was in some deep shit.
Just when he thought his luck couldn't get any worse. How could he be so stupid to walk up to a random house in the middle of nowhere, not that he had much of a choice really. What else was he supposed to do, Freeze to death? Honestly, he'd much prefer that than be slaughtered by the biggest war criminals known to man.
He stepped away from the painting, gripping on to the axe he stole. His body began to tremble again, but it wasn't from the cold this time. This time it was from fear.
Schlatt frantically moved his head at every angle. The more paintings he saw, the more he wanted to run.
Drawn scenes of the Blood God with withers and a face full of blood thirst filled his vision. That man just loved to gloat, didn't he?
"Shit, shit, shit !" He cursed, His words getting shakier with growing irritation.
He needed to get out of here.
He'll die if he stays.
" That axe doesn't belong to you ."
Schlatt stiffened.