Chapter Text
“Don’t worry Tikki, Paris will be fine” Marinette tried to reassure her kwami “We’ve been patrolling and stopping thieves these past few weeks” she reminded her “Besides, the real threat has already been neutralized...”
She sighed, Gabriel Agreste was outed last month, by his own son. The same son who was now rebuilding his life next to his aunt and his look-alike cousin. She didn’t even get to say goodbye, she didn’t even get to confess her feelings; she was rejected and he would never know. It was her fault after all, she had the perfect chance to let him know her true feelings, but she was too cowardly to express them.
Alya was still trying to console her, telling her that he had missed out on the best thing that could have ever happened to him. If he did, it didn’t matter now, they were not going to be seeing each other for a few years at least. She suspected he would take care of his father’s company when he finished College, and she needed more than a few years before her brand would even be recognized. She was sure she would be meeting him once her company was as big, if not bigger, than Gabriel . She would have enough time to give up on him.
“Sass, do keep them in check while we’re on the trip” she asked the little snake kwami for his aid. He just nodded his head.
“Don’t forget the snacks, Marinette” Her kwami reminded her.
Alya and Marinette were going on an Agreste-detox trip around Europe before starting College. It would be only them for a few stops before Nino joined them, though Alya had no idea, it was meant to be a surprise. They’d be touring France, and Italy before coming back to Paris. After that they’d be going their separate ways; she would stay in Paris and Alya, she would go down south to Nice due to a scholarship. They wanted to make the best out of their time together, since they would be seven hours apart by train, by the time summer ended.
“They’re already in the travel bag Tikki, don’t worry”
Marinette zipped her luggage and put it by the door; they needed to be at the Gare de Lyon early in the morning.
Marinette yawned once she was finally seated next to Alya in the train that would take them to Marseille. Alya had been talking non-stop about all the activities she had planned for them in Marseille alone. Starting with a visit to Vieux Port right after checking out their Airbnb. The other 2 days would be spent either visiting the Palais Longchamp, Notre-Dame de la Garde, Calanques National Park, and Saint-Ferréol.
If you asked her, she only wanted to sleep. Thinking about the trip and how she was supposed to use it as a way to forget Adrien kept her awake for a while before actually dreaming of him.
They’d grown apart, even before Shadowmoth’s identity was revealed. After a mishap, she had discovered he was Chat Noir; her partner. At first it was difficult to reconcile both personalities into one person; but Luka, as always, helped her figure it out after a few weeks of pondering on the matter. She had learned to love Adrien for both of his personalities. As Adrien he was charming and level-headed; but as Chat, he was such a goofball and human. He seemed a little bit closer to her reach after she came to terms with his alter ego.
However, at the same time, she knew she would have to wait until Shadowmoth was defeated. They were not supposed to know each other’s identity; Chat Blanc had put a heavy weight on her consciousness. She had seeked the way to forget his identity, but couldn’t find an effective way. That is why she had kept her distance from him. Only speaking to him when it was needed, and forming an awkward companionship during Alya and Nino’s ‘double’ dates. She had kept his secret for over four years now. And at their Graduation Day, when they finally had caught Shadowmoth, everything went down the drain.
She never expected his father to be the villain in this story. She certainly did not expect the retaliation from Paris due to his last name. If only they knew he was their leathered hero. And even if he wasn’t, his father did all the evil, Adrien was just collateral damage. And his mother, the reason why Gabriel Agreste turned into a villainous father/Miraculous holder. Poor Emilie Agreste, her condition after using a broken Miraculous had put her in an endless sleep. After contacting Master Su Han, her condition was still seriously worrisome, but hopefully she would be slowly regaining consciousness. It was only a matter of time.
Even after all the insults and retaliation, Adrien did not give up his Miraculous. He said it had brought him the freedom he never had and that he would still help her protect Paris. He did not reveal himself to her, but he did say that he was leaving Paris for a while. Of course Ladybug knew what he actually meant to say, he didn’t need to explain it in detail. She did expect him to ask for the reveal; but he never did. She should have revealed herself, that was one of the things she reproached herself.
Would he have been happy? Disappointed?
Did he even hold a miniscule feeling for her?
Would he have revealed himself too had she been the first one to do so?
And the most important, what would have happened next?
Those were the questions roaming in her mind for weeks. With no answer. And the opportunity to have her answer had already came and went, twice. The first time, right after defeating Shadowmoth, his father. They had reconvened at their spot in the Eiffel Tower after a couple of hours. Overlooking the city they both protected, Chat did not reveal his identity, he didn’t even hint at his pain. She had the perfect opportunity right there and then but she thought he would need some time to digest his new predicament. He didn’t need to shoulder another burden until he came to terms with his father’s villainous ways.
The second time, as Marinette, he was almost asking for it and she blew it. Of course, he didn’t voice it out loud, but she could tell by the look in his eyes. He needed and wanted a reason to stay, but she decided that it would be better for him if he stayed away from the judging eyes and not-so-quiet jabs at his person. Not only Paris needed time to heal, Adrien did as well. He also had to take care of his mother. And so, she shielded her self doubts with that excuse, and cowardly kept quiet about her feelings and her knowledge. She let him go.
He had thrown a ‘farewell’ party at his Mansion; he would sell it afterwards and give the money to a fund for Akuma’s victims. She wanted to chicken out at the last minute, but he didn’t deserve it. He wasn’t expecting all of his former schoolmates, and she knew some of them would definitely bail; so she gathered as much Ladybug confidence as she could and marched right up to his house. He needed as much support as he could have.
Good thing she did, other than her and Alya, and Nino, only Ivan, Mylène, Juleka, Rose and Alix came. Chloé excused herself saying her daddy didn’t want her to be exposed to a potential threat. He didn’t say it but she could tell Chloé’s absence had hurt him the most; their bond as neglected children was rooted very deep within him. It had been an awkward start to their farewell party, but by the end of the night, they had all been laughing as if nothing had happened at all.
Alya had encouraged her to stay and help Adrien clean up, and maybe confess her feelings before Sunshine had to go somewhere else. She relieved the whole thing again in her dreams last night.
“Thanks for helping me Marinette” he had said after closing the last trash bag.
“It’s the least I could do” she had shied away from him. “Anyways, I’m glad at least some of us showed up”
“I’m sure they had their reasons...”
“I’m sorry they’re too narrow-minded and they can’t differentiate between jailor and prisoner”she apologized for her friends that didn’t show up.
“It’s ok, I understand” he said “I still need to forgive my father, though I think it might take a while before I can even think about doing it”
“I’m not making excuses for him but I’m sure he had his reasons”
Of course she knew what that reason was, but she was not going to mention his mom unless he did first.
“My mom’s in a hospital in England now, that’s the main reason I’m leaving, not because Paris has turned on me” he explained.
“They’ll come around, you’ll see” she tried to cheer him up.
“Of course, I could always just visit her on the weekends, it’s not like I’m lacking any money to pay for a plane ticket or a train ticket” his smile was a bit nervous and he tried to let go of some tension by rubbing his neck.
“Oh Adrien, of course you have to be there for her” she tried to reassure him of his decision. “Besides, you’re already enrolled in College, right?”
“It’s not like I can’t enroll here”
“You’ve been waiting for your mom for years, and you’ve found her now, why would you want to stay?”
He sighed and looked down at his feet. “I guess you’re right” he smiled at her, his model-perfect smile. “I know we didn’t hang out very much these years, outside of being third-wheeling for Nino and Alya, but I’m glad we’re still friends, Marinette”
That word again, it pierced her heart. She had been hearing that word ever since she was thirteen. It was the same word he had used to describe her to Kagami, the same word he used whenever anyone asked him about her. Just a friend. She sighed, maybe it was the closest thing she could be to him. And she loved him, if he wanted to be just friends, that’s what she had to be, a friend.
She smiled back at him, as fake as his smile. “I think I have to get back home now, it’s running late and you have to catch some sleep”
“I’ll be leaving at noon, you can come by the airport if you want” he said a little rushed “Nino and Alya are coming to say goodbye”
“Sure, I’ll make it” she didn’t give it much thought and made her way back to her house.
Alya had the perfect timing, she called her as soon as she was about to close her eyes to get some sleep.
“So...”
“Don’t get your hopes up” Marinette shut down whatever excitement her best friend had “I couldn’t tell him Alya”
“It’s ok, you can try again tomorrow, Nino and I are driving up to the airport to greet him before he leaves”
“Yeah, he mentioned that too” Marinette ignored Alya’s suggestion, she was going to be his friend.
“Do you want us to come pick you up?”
“I have to leave some paperwork at College, I’ll see you guys at the airport”
The train started to move and Marinette returned to reality. She sighed, if only she had had more time. Of course she hadn’t made it to the airport. Her luck as Ladybug did not always carry on to her civilian life, and traffic had not been forgiving. By the time she reached the airport, she had thirty missed calls from Alya and Nino, fifty unread messages and one angry best friend staring at her.
She sighed again,
“Thinking about Sunshine?”
“Yes”
“He figured you were busy and couldn’t make it” she tried to reassure her. “He was not angry at you”
“Then why hasn’t he read my messages or returned any of my calls?”
“Maybe he doesn’t know it’s you”
“That’s the first thing I said when I left him the first message”
“I’m sorry girl, but cheer up” Alya said “I don’t want you thinking about him, just focus on the handsome boys we’ll meet during our trip”
“Nino would be so sad if he heard you”
“He knows I like ‘window shopping’, I won’t buy anything, I just like to watch ”
Marinette laughed at her friend’s comment. She could not turn back time and she had to accept she had probably lost Adrien’s friendship forever. She was at fault but if he didn’t want to try, there was only so much she could do. Nevertheless, the hurt was still there and she truly hoped this little getaway would help her, even if just a little.