Chapter Text
“Girl, I thought you’d made your peace with your feelings”
Alya was bewildered, their trip to New York had been over for a week and they were back in Paris. Marinette had told her she was still in love with that dense blond and she was beyond happy; a plan was created involving Nino, the other girls and herself. Said plan was supposed to help Marinette get close to Adrien. What a disappointment, her friend wasn’t planning on acting on her feelings anymore.
“I did Alya, but...” Marinette looked away. She couldn’t forget the warm welcome she had witnessed between Adrien and Kagami. The couple’s greeting kiss as soon as they saw each other for their fencing class kept coming to her mind with vengeance. It really was a chaste kiss, very near to the blond’s lips; but coming from such a coldhearted person as Kagami, Marinette had no doubts regarding their relationship. “He’s dating Kagami, it’s no use now”
“But...”
“No but’s Alya, I have no chances left” Marinette said “Besides, he’s happy, I shouldn’t meddle”
“But Nino, and the girls...” Alya tried once again but with no avail, her friend wasn’t up for it.
“It’s okay Alya, it may take me a while but I’ll be fine” Alya knew Marinette wasn’t smiling with joy, but she decided she wouldn’t try to convince her friend again, Marinette didn’t want to hear it. “Now, I really should get going now, Jagged Stone’s tour is starting next month, and I still haven’t finished with his commission”
“We’ll talk tomorrow Mari...”
Marinette was already walking out of the Institute and she didn’t hear Alya saying goodbye. If she was being honest, she appreciated Alya’s efforts, but she didn’t want to hear words of encouragement. She was being truthful when she said her feelings were all for nothing. He looked happy, and that was enough. Besides, Kagami was her friend now; granted, they would never be as close as she is with Alya, but they were still friends. One of the most sacred rules in friendship is being there for the other person, no matter what, right?
“Marinette” her mother called her as soon as she walked into the bakery.
“Hi maman , can I skip for today?” she asked “I have to work on the design for Jagged Stone and I’m not even close to finishing it”
“Just don’t stay up ‘till late darling”
Marinette nodded and climbed up the stairs, two steps at a time. She sighed after closing the door to her room and proceeded to hang Tikki’s bag on her chair.
“Are you really giving up on Adrien?” her kwami spoke up.
“There’s nothing left to do Tikki, he’s in a relationship with Kagami and I’m not meddling in it”
“But, you’ve been in love with him for over a year, the least you could do is tell him how you feel, it will give you closure” Tikki suggested.
“That’s never gonna happen Tikki, he makes me weak at the knees and I forget how to speak when I’m near him” she said “no, I can’t do it, let’s leave things as they are now”
“And...”
“I said no, Tikki. please, just let it go” Marinette pleaded. She was getting annoyed, first Alya tried to talk her out of doing nothing and now Tikki, she just wanted a break. “You know where you can find your cookies, you can go to bed first, I have to finish this sample before sleeping”
“Little kitty on the roof, all alone without his lady”
Chat Noir was taking a break after his patrol. Coincidentally, he was sitting at the exact angle in which his friend’s balcony could be seen, Marinette’s balcony. She was his friend, right? That is all he had been thinking about ever since his return from New York. His friend had convinced his father to let him on the trip. His friend had prefered to sit in another row rather than next to him. He had slow danced with his friend , in the moonlight no less! His friend had watched him leave New York and not once went after him.
‘Why didn’t she go after me?’ he asked himself ‘Did I want her to?’
Lately his mood had been down; it had started right after his class returned from New York and Marinette had kept her distance from him. Not only was she not nervous around him; she had been outright avoiding him, she did not speak to him unless it was strictly necessary. He had approached Alya wanting answers but she had no explanation for Marinette sudden change. Alya was as confused as he was.
Kagami was also another topic that had been hunting his thoughts. They had grown closer after sharing André’s famous ice cream. However, he felt the spark had been lost between them after dating for a couple of months. The spark that had been there when they were playing with Marinette on the roof of Chloé’s hotel. At first, he thought the spark had been lost because it had originated from breaking the rules and finally getting his way; but deep inside, he knew the real reason, Kagami was a reflection of himself, and he wasn’t as intrigued as before. They were almost too similar; their lives, how they communicated with their parents, their hobbies, everything was the same. At first, it had served as a safety blanket, but now, it was boring and he felt bad about it; he liked Kagami as a friend, not as a woman.
And what about Ladybug? After hearing Uncanny Valley’s recording, his heart was once again being filled with his Lady. Truthfully, he had never stopped loving her, the recording had just rekindled his affection.
‘Being a teenager is so complicated’ he thought to himself, he stared at Marinette’s balcony ‘The lights are still on, did she fall asleep without knowing? It’s pretty late’ he thought looking at the time.
“I better go check”
He knew it was an excuse but he jumped on the roofs until he reached his friend’s balcony. Marinette was laying on her arms on her work station, the shirt she had been working on was being displayed on the manikin next to her and it’s design sheet was stuck on between her cheek and the table. Chat Noir smirked and went down the stairs into his friend’s room.
The first thing that stood out to him was the plain wall, the wall that used to be covered with photos of his secret identity. His heart hurt, there were no pictures left. ‘Does this mean she’s stopped feeling inspired by father’s designs?’ he asked himself. He looked at the corner that used to have a trunk and other lumps on it; Marinette never told him what they were, but he could tell, at the time, that they were important to his friend . ‘They’re gone too’ he thought.
He stood close to his friend and watched her sleeping face. He took her into his arms and lifted her. He covered her form with her blanket after laying her on the bed and turned to turn off the light. However his friend’s voice stopped him on his tracks.
“Chat? What are you doing?” clearly, she was still sleepy. She hadn’t noticed Chat’s good will and he knew it.
“I came to see you after my patrol and you were asleep” he said “I helped you into your bed, I was about to leave, I purr-mise Princess”
“Oh, Chat” Marinette blushed. One of the many ‘blessings’ given to him due to being Plagg’s caretaker was heightened vision, and he could see the blush spreading alongside Marinette’s cheeks.
“I’ll let you sleep”
“Please wait, Chat” Marinette had sat up and was staring at him. “Can I ask you a question?”
“I guess, it’s the least I could do after waking you up” he said taking a seat next to her. He pulled the blanket up to her shoulders; it was a chilly night and though his suit adapted to the climate, she wasn’t. “Ask away Princess”
“I know you like Ladybug, like, really like her but, have you ever thought of letting her go?”
Chat was rendered speechless; she had nailed his past afflictions.
“I mean, you’ve told her how you feel multiple times, right? It’s different for me”
“It’s true, I’ve told her many times but she never takes it to heart” he replied.
“And you’ve never thought of giving up?” Marinette asked again “I mean, she doesn’t seem to feel the same way about you” she said “don’t you think it’d make it easier for you to forget about your feelings?”
“The thought has never left my mind Princess” Chat had quickly decided he could be honest with Marinette, she was his friend after all, right? “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been rejected and that I’ve kept on insisting” he laughed at his misfortune “I’ve been trying to keep my distance lately, and I foolishly thought I had succeeded” he said “the trip to New York has taught me it isn’t easy to forget about someone, no matter how much you want to”
“Are you saying that confessing how you feel about her hasn’t helped you to let her go?”
“That didn’t help me at the beginning” he sighed “I hope I’m not breaking the rules here, Ladybug is very strict about keeping our secret identities a secret, but I trust you Princess, I’ll tell you”
Marinette didn’t want to reprimand him; he really should follow the rules. But she wanted his advice; he was her best friend and also her partner. If not her, then who would be better to keep his secrets?
“What helped me a bit was changing targets” Chat said “I’m seeing someone now, though I don’t think I’ll be doing it for much longer” he said “and not only because of Ladybug...”
He kept the other reason to himself. Marinette didn’t need to know she was also making a compelling argument for ending things with Kagami. Even if she didn’t even know she was one of the reasons.
“I should give you more context” his friend said “it might not be the same situation but I have a similar problem” she sighed. She kept quiet for a moment, she had to think about how she was going to phrase it. She trusted her partner but Adrien was famous. They might not be friends, but she was convinced those two blondes were acquaintances at least. There were too many hints coming from both of them and she couldn’t ignore them.
“For my part, I’ve been in love with the same guy for quite a while now” Marinette said “unlike you, I’ve never told him; though I’ve been told it’s pretty obvious so it’s a miracle he has no clue about it” she said “of course, my plans have been futile; if I’m being honest here, that has never bothered me before, even if one of those plans had succeeded I wouldn’t have been able to tell him” she laughed at herself “I’m not as brave as your Lady”
‘That’s the truth Chat, would you still be in love with Ladybug knowing I’m the one hiding behind the mask?’ she thought.
“Anyways, I’ve been trying to keep my distance lately and not by changing targets precisely” she said “I was convinced we were only friends, at least I thought I was convinced” she continued “However, much like you, I realized he’s still constantly roaming my mind and that I haven’t stopped loving him” Marinette sighed “But now I’m having a dilemma, my friend wants me to confess my feelings for him before I give up on him and me, I just want to forget it all”
“What keeps you from telling him Princess?”
“He has a girlfriend and she is a friend of mine” Marinette replied “and he looks happy, they both look happy” she said. “What’s the use of telling him now if he’s dating someone else?” she asked herself again “don’t you think so, Chaton?”
‘Luka has a girlfriend?’ he asked ‘This should help me get Marinette out of my mind too, right?’
“Chat?”
“Oh, sorry Princess, I was in deep thought” Chat apologized.
“It’s okay Chat, it’s pretty late now” she said while laying back down and pulling the blanket up to her chin “I’ll go to sleep now, could you turn off the lights before you go?”
She didn’t wait for a reply and closed her eyes. Chat Noir turned off the lights and stared at her. ‘Good night Princess’ he thought to himself while still looking at her form. He was about to make his return to the mansion but decided he could stay for a little longer. He admired his friend’s beautiful face under the moonlight. ‘I’m glad she let her hair down for once, her hair frames her face beautifully’ Chat blushed at his thought. ‘She practically confirmed what I already suspected, she likes Luka’ he told himself ‘Why do all the girls I’ve been remotely interested in end up rejecting me one way or another?’ he thought.
He kept staring at her when a brilliant idea came to his mind. ‘It won’t hurt, right?’ he told himself, ‘she’s already asleep anyways’. Chat Noir got closer to his friend and admired her beauty up close, ‘she should be dreaming by now, right?’
He managed to convince himself of two things; one, she would not notice and he could fulfill one of his desires easily, and two, she would never know and he would not have to explain a thing. He kept getting closer and closer to her and just like a butterfly resting on a flower, he caressed the corner of her lips lightly and pulled back almost instantly.
‘You can go back to your obsession for Ladybug now’ he said as he made his way back to his own bed. Poor Chaton, he had no clue his friend was still very much awake and conscious enough to understand what had just happened between them.
‘I don’t need this now Chaton, you are not allowed to become a part of my dilemma’ she thought while blushing. She closed her eyes again trying to sleep, and forget what had just happened.