Chapter Text
Jonathan stood in front of Mina, the words that would change his life—end it, technically—hanging heavy in the air between them.
She’d told him about the uglier aspects of vampiric existence, made sure she had his full and unreserved consent.
He’d given it.
He watched Mina close her eyes for a moment, brow wrinkled, mouth tight. It was the expression she’d always worn when trying to figure something out.
The more little aspects of human Mina he saw in vampire Mina, the more certain Jonathan was that he was making the right choice.
Mina’s eyes snapped open, sharp and quick.
“It’s probably best if we get out of the town,” she said. “There are people around here, and they know something about how to hurt vampires. Nothing we couldn’t get away from, but it might be unpleasant, and... if the others are still looking for us, we don’t want to be seen.”
Jonathan nodded.
“It’ll be faster if I carry you,” Mina said, before hoisting him over her shoulder and taking off running.
Jonathan was seized by a brief but intense fear as Mina got up to top speed, moving away from the train station and out into the country.
He knew it was only Mina. But the unnatural speed and smoothness with which she moved triggered a surge of some primal unease, some distinct feeling of wrongness.
It made sense, Jonathan supposed. Mina was about to kill him, after all.
Jonathan almost laughed at that. At the utter absurdity of the situation in which he’d found himself.
Mina was moving somehow even faster now, faster than he’d ever imagined she could.
The wind stung the exposed skin of his hands, and Jonathan tucked them in close to his chest behind Mina’s back, his face protected from the wind by her body.
He knew they had a long way to go.
...
Eventually, Jonathan felt Mina slow down and stop.
He looked around. They were in a clearing in a patch of woods, with some moonlight coming through, but too dark to see very well.
Too dark for him to see very well, at least.
He got the sense Mina could see just fine.
She kept a hand on him as she set him down.
Jonathan looked around, slowly starting to pick out the outlines of shapes and forms.
He looked back at Mina, and once again saw the moonlight reflecting from her red eyes.
He swallowed.
He wanted to do this. He did. But... some part of him knew he was about to die, and resisted.
He didn’t know what would become of his soul. He didn’t even know for certain that he—the one thinking this thought at this moment—would ever wake up.
But he couldn’t leave Mina with nothing.
He just had to trust that he would continue, in one sense or another.
It was the unknown that was the most frightening.
Maybe if he could lessen that...
“What’s going to happen?” Jonathan blurted out. “I mean... exactly. What’s it like?”
Mina slid her hand down Jonathan’s arm and took his hand in hers. “I’m going to bite you,” she said matter-of-factly. “And feed you some of my blood. That part isn’t fully necessary for the process to work, but it’ll bind you to me, and allow me to speak to you in your head, and I’d like to be able to communicate with you when you’re out of earshot. I think that ability could be useful, especially if someone comes after us or when you’re learning to hunt, but tell me if you disagree.”
“I don’t mind,” said Jonathan.
He didn’t. It was only Mina.
“In all honesty, I don’t know that the order matters, but I’m going to take some of your blood first, then give you some of mine, just in case it does.” Something odd came into Mina’s voice, a thick, shivery tone. “Then finish it.”
Jonathan swallowed. “You’re hungry, aren’t you.”
“Yes.”
It was strange to hear Mina admit to that so readily. He knew she’d felt that same hunger when she was alive, after she’d been bitten but before she turned, and she’d been so careful to hide it.
He supposed there was no point, now.
They both knew what was going to happen here.
Mina went on. “The bite itself will hurt a bit, but it shouldn’t hurt much, or for long. If you want, I can charm you, which would help with the pain quite a bit, but I won’t unless you ask.”
“No thank you,” said Jonathan. He wanted his last moments as a human to be him. He wanted to be fully aware.
“That’s what I thought,” said Mina, teeth catching the moonlight as she smiled. “Charming doesn’t work on other vampires, although I will have some influence over you, which I’ll do my best not to misuse.” She squeezed Jonathan’s hand.
“And dying?” asked Jonathan quietly.
For a long moment, Mina was quiet, and Jonathan worried he’d upset her.
Then, she spoke.
“It’s not bad,” she said. “It shouldn’t be for you, anyway. It’s sort of a... slow fade. Just don’t fight it and it should be all right.”
“All right,” said Jonathan.
“You’re going to be hungry when you wake up,” said Mina gently. “Horribly. Hungrier than you’ve ever been. That’s the worst part of this whole process. You might try to attack me—don’t worry about it if you do, I’ll still be stronger than you. It wouldn’t help anyway, not much at least.”
“Can vampires die from being drained by other vampires?” asked Jonathan, simply out of curiosity.
“No. We can go unconscious, from that or from not feeding, but a bit of blood will bring us right back.”
Jonathan considered that information. “So then the only way we can die is... what we already know?”
“As far as I know, yes, but there’s still a lot I don’t know—”
“That’s all right,” said Jonathan, squeezing her hand. “We can figure it all out together.”
Mina squeezed back. “Once you’ve settled down a bit, we can hunt. You’re going to kill your first victim, even if you try not to. Don’t worry about that either.”
Jonathan nodded, knowing that if he killed an innocent person the way he was now he very much would worry about it, but also knowing he would be... different by the time that concern rolled around.
He might not care much, and that made him distinctly uneasy.
But this was what he could do for Mina.
It would be worth it.
God forgive me, he started to pray, before realizing that God wouldn’t.
He was about to leave behind, not only his humanity, but his connection to the Divine.
I can do this. I have to.
“I love you,” he said quietly.
“I love you too,” said Mina. “And... it’s not the same. I don’t feel the way I used to, I don’t feel anything the way I used to. But if I can be said to love anyone or anything, it’s you.”
Jonathan wanted to cry. He wanted to throw himself at Mina and hug her. He wanted to run away, useless as he knew that would be—though he also knew that, if he ran, Mina would let him go.
But then he’d know she was out there, somewhere, alone, and that he wasn’t with her. That he could never talk to her again, never see or touch her, never know where she was or what had become of her.
That sounded... worse than death. Worse than anything.
“I’m ready,” he said quietly.
“You’re afraid,” said Mina.
“I am,” said Jonathan. “But I’m more afraid of losing you.”
Mina nodded, then moved towards him.
“It’s all right,” she said as she placed a hand on his shoulder and the other on the side of his face. “It’s only me.”
Jonathan leaned down slightly to move his neck to where she could reach it. Even as a vampire, Mina was substantially shorter than him.
“Let’s sit down,” Mina said. “It’ll be easier, and I won’t have to lower you as far when you fall.”
Jonathan nodded and sat down, leaning his back against a tree.
He heard Mina kneeling beside him, then felt her hands again, then her breath on his neck.
In another moment, he felt her fangs sink in.
It did hurt, and Jonathan cried out faintly.
But there was something else too. Beneath the pain, or maybe above it.
Somehow… it felt good.
When Mina stopped and withdrew her fangs, Jonathan whined slightly, to his immediate embarrassment.
Mina, thankfully, seemed more amused than anything else. Not that he could see her very well.
But he could see her bite her wrist open. See the blood running down her arm.
She offered her bleeding wrist to him, and without hesitation he put it in his mouth.
It was cold. Jonathan had known, intellectually, that it would be, but the actual sensation of it still came as a shock.
It tasted like blood, sharp and rich and metallic, but there was so much of it…
Jonathan forced himself to keep swallowing until Mina took her arm away.
Gently, she caressed his face with her unbloodied hand. “It’ll be all right,” she said. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Jonathan nodded.
A moment later, he felt her fangs sink in again.
This time, he could feel the difference in her intent.
She was drinking in sharp, almost violent pulls, drinking with purpose.
As he grew dizzier, feeling his face tingle and his limbs grow cold, Jonathan sent up one last prayer.
Thank you. Thank you for letting me stay with her.