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“I am that which the humans call Arceus, Now, I– what is that which you hold.”
If the shock of seeing a graceful white Pokémon in the void wasn’t enough to numb her fingers, the bewildered judgment in its voice did it. The Nokia phone slipped from Akari’s grasp.
A gently pulsating light encircled the phone and pulled it closer to Arceus.
“I believe these went out of date decades ago.” The Pokémon’s amusement vibrated through the void, sending motes of light around Akari in a waltz. “Do you not use a Rotom phone? A smartphone? Any device that is younger than I am?”
Akari shrugged. Ever since she had been plucked from her bed and thrust into an isekai, she had started taking things in stride.
“And replace the screen every time it gets broken during baseball practice? I’m not an environmentalist or in Team Galaxy or anything, but I don’t feel good about how ingrained planned obsolescence is in my life.” Arceus’s head nodded, which encouraged Akari to go on. “I’d feel even worse if I subjected a Rotom to all the rumble tumble of my day. No, I’ll stick with this brick of a phone. I could lob it at practice, and it’ll still work. And it has great battery life too!”
If Arceus could smile, Akari had the sense that the Pokémon would be sporting a gigantic, shit-eating grin. Shivers ran down her spine as she recalled the Pokédex entries of the trainer who had met Mewtwo.
“I see,” said the godly figure. “Take this, it’s dangerous out there.”
“Wait, what?”
Before Akari could ask anything else, the Nokia was slipped back into her pocket, now adorned with a bulky new case shaped like the Pokémon before her.
“Seek out the Pokémon of this land. Befriend both human and Pokémon.” Arceus’s voice rang out in the void as Akari began to fall. “And should they not see sense, you always have your Nokia.”
“Are you kidding me? Hang on, you can’t just abduct- ow!”
“Oh ho! You live! This device dealt you a heavy blow!”
Akari was thrust headfirst into a strange, archaic land and a Victorian-looking professor who was busy inspecting the bruise on her head.
“Arceus has a sick sense of humor,” she muttered, and accepted the professor’s hand.
“Now, my girl! Could you help me retrieve these Pokémon?”
Akari nodded, and readied the pokeball. Suddenly, the Arc Nokia buzzed within her pocket.
She withdrew the phone. A message glowed onscreen.
Toss the phone at the Pokémon to stun them.
“Are you sure this won’t trap them and corrupt them?” Akari asked. "I don't want a Missingno or Voltorb situation here."
Now why would I hurt my creations.
Akari shrugged, and took up a pitcher’s pose. “Batter up, boys.”
Hisui never knew what hit it.