Chapter Text
He nearly reels from the force with which Ikki jumps into his arms, dropping the single suitcase he’s carrying on the ground to hold her. The door closes with a small click on its own behind him, the magnet or electric-whatever- thing on the edges pulling it shut.
“Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get me the Fire Flake Gummies like you promised?”
It’s his first greeting as he moves in with Tennie, ready to stay there till the end of his hopefully long life. From somewhere out of the corner of his eye, he can see Pema’s mildly embarrassed expression, her quick reprimand reaching his ears a few seconds later. Tenzin isn’t here yet, but he’s pretty sure that it’s his fault, arriving just a few hours too early.
“Ikki! You didn’t even say hello to Uncle Bumi-“
“Hello Uncle Bumi!” His niece flashes him a toothy grin before continuing to inquire about her Gummies, and how she wants to make sure she eats more than Meelo because he’s been getting on her nerves a bit too much lately .
He grins at her in turn, eyebrows waggling as though he has found his partner in crime: not that Tenzin would appreciate it. Meelo and Ikki alone are more than enough to make a grown man weep, Tenzin had said over a rare drink, and Bumi’s sure that he wouldn’t be enthusiastic him enabling their actions. All the more reasons to spoil the three of them.
“I got it for ya’, but you only get it when you kiss me on the cheek!” He beams, and she leans forward, presses a kiss on his cheek with all the self control a six year old can afford, and then wriggles out of his arms. He lets go of her quickly, and she’s already clutching his hand, adamant on making him hand over the prize she has won in exchange of limiting their daily phone conversations to a mere two hours.
He allows himself to be dragged by Ikki, slowing down only to pick up his suitcase when Pema stops her , quietly telling her to wait till he’s freshened up, maybe had a few hours of sleep and is ready to face five people. Her face catches and loses the early morning light that streams through the expensive windows, highlighting the dark bags under her eyes, a sure sign of Meelo and Ikki putting aside their differences.
She makes a face, eyes squinting and nose scrunching up before she spins on her heel, the move nearly frictionless because of the polished wooden floor and her socks. “You’re gonna take me to the park today, with no adults!”
He quirks up an eyebrow, eyes fixed on her as she starts going upstairs. On all fours. “I’m not an adult?"
"Not a boring one!” She raises a hand, paying him no further attention. He has no clue how she avoids falling down the stairs, but just as well. At least he has a nice title. “Not a boring adult”.
She disappears from his view, and then he lowers his head, looks at Pema properly, and wonders how on Earth hasn’t she fainted already. What time is it, anyways? Seven in the morning, maybe. It isn’t often that he finds himself thinking about his sister-in-law, but now he wishes he did. She looks tired, and that’s the kindest way of putting it into words.
“Well, you look good?” He offers her weakly, complemented with a hug.
“We both know you’re lying.” Her response is short and frank, but she hugs him back anyways. They break apart after a few seconds, and she lets out a sigh, one that seems to originate from her bones. “How did Aunt Katara even handle you and Kya?”
He thinks seriously for a few seconds, racks his brain for any memory of his mother ever joking about how she coped with their childhood, and comes up with nothing. He probably forgot anything she told them, far too lost in his own world. “No clue. She just shouldered through it. Also, where are Tennie and Kya? Also Jinora and Meelo.”
They start walking towards the kitchen, open and airy. Mostly cold though, he thinks privately, but that’s what one got after having mesh windows instead of actual windows. Toys are scattered everywhere with no care of the person who might enter the room, and he has to watch his step more than once, make sure that he doesn't trip over a remote-control car or a plastic doll.
“Jinora and Meelo are sleeping, Kya’s over at the hospital, and Tenzin’s at work. You did arrive a few hours early, but they went early so that they’d be free from work by the time you came.” Her voice isn’t as informative as it is tired, owed both to his irregular schedule and the task of raising three children.
He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck at her words as she hands him a glass of water. He downs it one go. “Well, I didn’t know that the rail would actually follow the timetable this time.”
“How’s…. it going?” She says finally. He’s been wondering when that would be brought up for the past three hours, driving himself crazy with it. The various scenarios lay littered in his mind, responses resting on his tongue, heavy and oddly somber for a man like him, for a man who can barely sit in his seat for fifteen seconds without moving positions at least twice.
“I’ll be fine.” That is all he says, and that is all they’ll know for now. Maybe forever. That he’ll be fine. Maybe if he lies enough times, he’ll believe it himself, like a fairytale that’s been repeated so often that now it’s a part of who one is. Which begs the question—
“Jinora still obsessed with bending?” He murmurs in the quietness, phrasing it more as a question. The armrest under his forearm feels foreign. Where did it come from? He doesn’t question it. He’s learnt not to question many things over the years, and accept them for how they are.
His dad somehow being far too busy with work till he was seventeen? It just happened. His mom being way too close to Kya, trying to imagine what her own childhood could have been like, because his grandma died young? It just happened. Him dropping out of college to join the Navy? It just happened. Retiring at sixty-one after having the screams of all his friends being carved into his eardrums? It. Just. Happened.
They’ve been sitting on the sofa for the past five minutes, and he didn’t even realise. At least he can still read his watch right. His fingers are slick with sweat as he wipes them on his jeans, welcoming the now soft fabric of the denim, the roughness scrubbed from it over the years he has owned it.
He nods dumbly as Pema confirms that Jinora is indeed, still obsessed with bending, the myths that are repeated in the temples nearby every now and then, confirmations from archeologists and geologists over the world that- Yes, there was indeed a time when entire landmasses shifted suddenly, when people lived in places that are almost inaccessible without helicopters. That it wasn’t proof that manipulating the elements was real, and maybe they were just fables that became somehow became a part of mythology.
He yawns after a few minutes when their conversation is dragging to a close, head heavy after about six days of full travel, wanting to go to his room, and lay on the bed for a few hours.
First the plane to the docks, then the ship, and finally a short train ride to Tenzin’s house. His house as well, now that he thinks about it. He’s pretty sure his dad left the house to all three of them in the will, even though Tenzin was the only one who only stayed there for more than a couple of weeks at a time. It had still been a good idea, actually. Kya visited every few months or so, he visited every few years or so, and now that he retired a fortnight ago, they came up with the idea of having him stay with them.
Offering a faint, tired smile, he trudges upstairs, hoping that Meelo isn’t waking up right now, standing just behind the bedroom door and ready to walk headfirst into him. He’s just too tired to entertain a hyperactive child right now. He’s been tired for some time.
He locks his bedroom door, not turning on the light. The winter sun finds its way into his room through the blinds, and he feels like he’s sixteen again, returning to his room, ready to forget the world that exists outside. His foot bumps against something that feels oddly like a pile of clothes. So his room wasn’t cleaned after he left, just the way he liked it. People would call it messy, but he knew where everything was most of the time. He drops his suitcase on the ground as well, with a soft thump sound.
He doesn’t bother to change into anything more appropriate to fall asleep in, undoing the buttons on his shirt, slipping out of his jeans and throwing them somewhere on the ground, motions slurred and slow despite his urgency to strip free of anything, everything that suffocates him. He slips under the covers a few seconds later, pulling up the blanket till he’s nothing but a figure wrapped in white, like a corpse. It surprisingly, doesn’t suffocate him.
He turns on his phone, the wallpaper a picture of his ship. He’s sure that Kya took it for him, murmuring about how he didn't know how to turn off the “panorama” or whatever it was called. It says 07:23 in a bright text, far too bright for his eyes, for the nest of darkness and quietness he has hidden himself in, just like how he used to when he was a child, curling up under his bed, letting the quilt form a makeshift wall between him and the rest of his room. More than once he had woken up , clothes drenched in sweat and tears and mind well rested. He’s far too big for it now, but this still helps.
The screen goes dark, and so does his mind, eyes slipping shut.
He soon exchanges the soft pillow for the sharp blade of wind whipping across his face. The first thing he sees when he exchanges the darkness for sight is a woman, hair like locks of silver thread falling in an elegant curtain over the back of her head. She turns around, and it’s as if he's known her his entire life.
No. It doesn’t even feel like he met her right now, but like they’ve known each other for their entire life.
“Hi Zumi!” He yells across the vast space between the two of them, hoping that his voice carries over to her. “BABY I’M BACK!”
Her face splits into a grin as she meets his eyes, surprising the both of them with the sparkle in them. A pair of suns, they are. There are bags underneath her eyes, proof of how much she works on a daily basis, and it slowly dawns on him that he knows her far more intimately than anything else in his life. It runs like sand through his hand till he clenches it into a fist, stopping their escape with ease.
“I can see that.” Her eyebrow almost finds her hairline, voice like the tanginess of an orange before she springs into his arms, head nestled right by his heart. A small sigh escapes his mouth, relief more than anything at being reunited with him. They’ve been missing each for years, it seems. Perhaps their whole lives.
“I missed you, you big goof.” The fabric of his jacket, feeling far too solid for what is a dream he’s seen many times over, twists harder into his elbow every-time he tries to adjust his arms. Adjust her in his arms, more like it.
“I missed you too.” And he means it. Every moment without her seems to be eternity, the rubber band of his brain stretched to its limit. Pulling her back, he examines her with a careful eye. Hopefully her face doesn’t seem paler than before, because he isn’ t ready to have a conversation about that. Getting her to eat on time is more than enough work.
“I’m fine Boom-“ She nudges aside his arm, and he lets her. He’ll let her do anything to him if he can see her smile. “-it’s just that work’s getting to my head. Huo Ting demands more and more exports for almost no cost. Half the price is already more than enough, but no! The Earth Kingdom needs more and more.”
He nudges her, almost knocking her over. “Your grandfather did do some pretty horrible stuff—”
“Says the man who talks about staring at glass.”
“That’s a television.” Constraint is the idea when he deals with her physically, well aware of how he towers over her, but it’s always lost in the space between their lips somehow.
His hand finds her fingers, holding them as though they’re made of glass, complemented with flecks of gold, so utterly breakable and precious enough to be handled with care. He’s like a goldsmith and a glassmaker both in this aspect, carving his love into every part of her with a certain wariness. He’s afraid of how beautiful she is, he thinks as he presses his lips to her knuckles.
Her cheeks redden, and he smiles.
“Bumi, there’s something I want to tell you—”
“Hmm?” His voice is a steady beat of devotion towards her. “You’re gonna kill Huo-Ting? For the record, I support that fully.”
“I… I sometimes get afraid that I’ll forget you forever.”
“You won’t. I know you won’t.”
“But-“
She’s silenced with another kiss, eyes slipping shut as he holds her impossibly close, the horizon painted in shades of blue and black.
-
THAM THAM THAM!
A fist slams violently against the solid oak of his door, dragging him up from the deep clutches of sleep he had lost himself in. Something aches in his heart, a sharp knife dragged across the organ.
“Wake up you lazy butt, it’s three in the afternoon!” Kya shouts through the door, voice not as harsh as the words in his mind suggest. It’s shouting for the sake of her voice reaching him through wood.
He rolls out of bed without much grace, or any grace really, falling on the floor headfirst. It’s an effective yet painful way to wake him up, one which he has always used ever since he was child. The floor feels uncomfortably cold against his skin, but he gets up nonetheless, covering himself with his blanket wrapped around him. One arm reluctantly snakes out of the comfort it had been enjoying for quite some time, and unlocks the door, only to find his sister on the other side.
Her expression seems annoyed yet coated in love in a way which only she can pull off, and—
“Have you been crying?” The annoyance in her voice changes to concern before either of them realise it, and for a second he feels that she’s pulling a prank, a bad one- but a prank nonetheless. He hasn’t been crying. Of course he hasn’t. But there’s a tang of concern in her voice that makes him check, unsure of his own senses and memory.
A hand reaches upwards, finding wet lashes, stuck together. He’s been crying.
“I don’t remember crying.” He blurts out. Surely, it must have been a few slipped tears when he hit his forehead on the ground, involuntary but explained. Her expression suggests that he looks like he's been sobbing for hours. He hasn’t. “I also fell down from the bed, so make what ya’ will of that.”
“Whatever you say Boom.” The concern hasn’t left her voice entirely, but it certainly lessened, and he takes this as a win right now.
He punches her shoulder in an easy move, a silly expression playing on his face before she shoots him a look, rubbing her shoulder in mock-playfulness, going along with him. “Did Ikki tell you to wake me up?”
“Surprisingly, no. She said that it’s too cold to go to the park today, and I don’t blame her.”
“Really?” His voice is laced with surprise. He wouldn’t have known that it was winter if everyone wasn’t bundled up in their coats and sweaters, their breath materialising as if they were blowing puffs of smoke. “I didn’t—”
“Because you’ve been in the middle of Spirits-Know-What for the past two years, of course you don’t feel cold. Anyways, get ready. Tenzin and the kids want to meet you.” She shuts the door, albeit a bit gently, maybe taking note of the fact that he hasn’t come to his senses yet. And that there are tears on his cheeks, it seems.
“Glad to know I’m wanted.” He mutters under his breath, jokingly, of course. He has more friends than he can count on one hand, even if they aren’t all that present for him right now, knowing that he’s wanted isn’t the greatest concern he has. It had been, once upon a time, but he’s found his place, even if it’s mostly far away from his family, cramped between bodies, blood seeping onto his—
The tap turns on, warm water gushing out. He blankly washes his face, rubbing at his eyes till he’s sure that no tears are visible, even though he’s pretty sure that he wasn’t crying in the first place. He flits his hand before his face, brushes brown hair out of his face with tanned, scar covered fingers.
A few minutes later, he’s cramped between Lin and his sister, trying to hold back yawns. Covering his mouth isn’t an option, Lin will see anyways, remark something and they’ll all chuckle uncomfortably. Perfect.
“You look like you just swallowed raw eel-snakes, what’s the matter?” Lin’s voice is clear, reminding him of the way light flints off the crystals he once bought, and her words are to the point. He clears his throat, and then yawns anyway. That shuts her up, rolling her eyes in a way that is beyond familiar to him by this point. Age difference between the two be damned, Lin’s eyebrow raise, eye-roll and the sarcastic quip that accompanied every word she said- that was her.
He knows her at least that much.
Meelo bursts into the room, a hurricane on his own and is instantly yelling about how he saw a movie with those dishoom-dishoom noises, and how the hero saved the day and kissed the pretty lady with long hair, and how he wants to become a commander like him. The thought is flattering, but he protests quietly, inside his head.
No you don’t. I’d kill you if you ever joined the United Forces like me, don’t you fucking dare. All you get for saving the day is the faces of grief stricken people. People who exist in shadows of dread. You’ll exist in a shadow of terror yourself.
He surprises himself by cracking a joke about how he’s never kissed a pretty lady with long hair, but he has kissed a lady with one eye. In fact, plenty of ladies have long hair, but—
Kya nudges him with a particularly sharp elbow, making him double over in an exaggerated motion. Somewhere Tenzin weeps at the mockery the two of his siblings engage in on a daily basis, with no care left for their ages or maturity. Bite-sized jokes run across his head, ready to make his brother turn red with irritation (if he can hear him, that is), but it’s interrupted when Tenzin finally walks into the room, a tray of custard tarts held between his hands.
He nearly lunges for one himself, before thinking about the children. When they’re done, he finally reaches for the remaining two, offering one to Linnie. Lin declines his gesture, and he downs them easily.
When the polite talks are done, or as polite as his presence allows them to be, he pulls out all the gifts he thought his family might like. It’s not for certain, but he’s rarely been wrong while choosing gifts. Something that will tire out Meelo, something that will entertain Ikki, and something that Jinora will go over again and again, tucked away into her own world. Tennie and Pema would like any sort of decorations, to compensate for their own feet carved into the ground, something mildly homely for Kya, and a good mystery novel for Lin.
“The adventures of Detective Wang Fire and the Missing Diamond.” Lin reads the title of the book in a judgemental murmur, flipping the cover to check the summary. Confusion clouds her face. “Wasn’t he a therapist in the last book?”
“Yes, but that’s one of his personas. Come on Linnie, shouldn’t you know that by now?” He grins at her, tilting his head as though curious.
“What’s this?” Meelo dives for something in his bag, hands skimming over the smooth leather straps, worn in after years of use. He plucks out something shiny, something that resembles a—
“Dat’s a weird cup.” The boy eyes the artefact with a weird look, like he’s just been handed an eggplant and ordered to eat it raw. He rattles it, and upon hearing no sound, nothing that suggests its particularly of interest, throws it away.
Bumi leans forward and catches it. Light from the afternoon sun glints off it, making it look white, then orange, and finally a shade of gold so dazzling that his eyes hurt. White would still be a better description than whatever he comes up with, for the headpiece looks so different at every angle that summarising the object in his hands in a single hue would be useless. He decides to go with gold for now.
Headpiece.
It dawns on him that he already knows what this is despite never encountering it before in his life. It’s circular, hollowed out, and the sheet of metal that comprises it seems to be made entirely of— gold. Real, expensive, useless gold.
Something plays through his mind, a series of images so fleeting that he isn’t even sure whether they’re images at all. Memories of a drunken night, that would have been his first thought if it hadn’t been for the way his heart suddenly seems to squeeze all the blood out of it, lungs giving way to ash. He suddenly wants to cradle it close to his heart and stare at the stars for hours at end. He can just feel the up and down motion of his chest slow down, a silent breath escaping his lips. It’s as if he’s staring at something far too grand to be held by him, far too grand to even exist in front of them.
Nobody else seems to notice, and he quickly pockets it, his grip on the cold metal tight enough for the points to dig into his skin, breaking some of the newly healed wounds on his palm. He doesn’t care. It seems far too precious to be lost, and he thinks that as a man who believes jewellery and gemstones to be useless.
The day passes uneventfully, except for the ache in his heart that seems to get a bit bigger after every few minutes. It’s like someone’s slicing of parts of his skin, testing his reactions before ripping it off in one go.
“Where did you even get that?” Lin asks after dinner, cornering him in the kitchen.
He somehow balances the plate in his right hand, the glass of cold drink in his left hand and the bottle tucked neatly between his torso and bicep. Raising his eyebrow, he asks. “Get what?”
“The… thing that Meelo dug out. Finally got a girlfriend?” Her tone seems nonchalant, and he knows there’s nothing hidden behind her words. She’s blunt, and he likes that. Best not hide one’s intentions behind words when there remain so many other covers.
“Huh? Nah!” He waves his hand, like swatting an insect out of his face. “I’m far too old for that sort of thing. My days of wooing beautiful ladies and men are over. Tell Tenzin to ask me about my love life himself next time.”
“Meh, I owed him a favour anyways.” She then punches him jokingly on the shoulder, forgetting for a moment the things he’s holding. The plate in his hand wobbles for a few seconds before settling on it’s own. They both breathe a sigh of relief, even though he’s louder. “That means you’re the one stuck with babysitting duties from now on, especially since Kya’s leaving tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s just talk later, okay?”
“Sure.” He would have replied with more words, but something in him tells him to shut up. It’s that headpiece, he’s half sure of that. To listen to the slow, steady thumping of his blood, feel the almost sinking weight of the headpiece in his pocket, to do nothing but exist in an eternal void.
It’s like someone ripped half his body away from him, yanking his soul away from him till he’s an empty shell, leaving him stranded in his own mind. And he knows that it’s not because of the last deployment he served on. This feels…. This is a knotted thread instead, and someone’s tugging them apart, leaving them naked and vulnerable.
He suddenly feels Lin’s concerned gaze on him. Inspecting him, prodding through his skin. It feels like she can see his heart now, hidden by a seemingly transparent house of bones, layers of muscle. He takes back a step without meaning to.
“Either you have a crush on me or you’re about to kill me, and I don’t know what I prefer. Stop staring, please.” His voice feels oddly forced, breathy and high pitched, as if he putting on funny voices for amusement. Hopefully she listens to him.
“Let’s go Boom. You have some kids to put to bed.” She pats his arm, and then gestures with her chin towards the food in his hand. “That’s still gonna be present tomorrow.”