Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If the night is meant to bring us rest, endless dreams spilling into our subconscious, then what would bloom with the dawn?

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"Why are you asking that?" Wounded. Helpless. Despairing.

It was a replica of the expression that he had worn before, but Athanasia wouldn't know that. She had never seen him with this tsunami of emotions, the one that overcame him when he held her resting form in his arms.

So, her lips curved upwards, a tender smile blooming upon her face. It reflected off of her cup of tea, Rosen lips tinted the hue of dirt, and it made her companion fume. More so when she spoke. "It's a fair question, isn't it?"

"The cycle has already ended." His voice quivered, lava boiling in his eyes. Lucas clenched his hands into fists, his silken cloak crumpled in its grasp, but his eyes could only stare at his lover and wife.

He pleaded for her to never die again.

"Yes, the cycle has ended, but that does not make us immortal," Athanasia's eyes glanced over him, taking note of his trembling figure and opening her arms. She knew enough that he needed her, turning around on her seat so that he could rest his head on her lap.

Delicate fingers carded through his dark hair, and she said, "for, though we will live longer as magicians, death will greet us in the end. And when he does, what will happen?"

Lucas clung to her hands from his spot by her side, his knees bent and his head raised to meet those precious ocean eyes. Once more, she smiled, twisting her wrist to interlace their fingers. And, as warmth gathered between their hands, she asked her question again. "So, my love, please answer my question. If we were to be reborn without our memories and meet each other as nothing more than strangers, what do you think would happen?"

Athanasia flinched when those ruby eyes blazed, firm in its passion for her. She felt guilty for breaching a topic that had become taboo between her family. Death. Reincarnation. The cycle that they had barely escaped.

But, she could not deny feeling curious and mildly afraid. Her hands clasped his tighter, her smile becoming strained.

"Athanasia." His whisper caught her attention, laced with a love that could burn for a million years. He held her gaze with a devotion so firm that hers quivered for a moment. The empress' smile faltered again, trembling with the weight of her love for him as she listened to his words, the one that her soul would carry with it.

"My wife, my friend, and my empress... I adore you not with this body but with this soul. Should we ever meet and you cannot remember me, I will simply shower you again with love. Again and again, I will offer my devotion to you, my magic, my time, and my very being, until I can get closer to you, and until my love touches you."

"Lucas..." Athanasia whispered, holding his face. It did not matter that her lips and fingers were quivering, not even that her vision was blurry with tears. All that she held in her mind was the warmth of his presence and the promise in his words.

She bowed her back, resting their foreheads together, and she closed her eyes with her own promise. "We shall meet again in our next lives and, unlike our past, we will both be mirthful and free of strife. Should you keep your promise, then I shall keep mine, that I will love only you, in accordance with our marriage vows.

I have placed upon thee my unending claim, Lucas of the Tower, so that thou art mine to have, mine to hold, mine to protect, mine to love. My beloved bonded, I have vowed to protect thy heart, which is mine own truest treasure.

May this vow be our promise of eternity, our promise to meet again."

Lucas laughed, a song of mirth which traveled with the wind to the realm of the gods. "Yes, may our vow be our promise that death cannot tear us apart. You are mine as I am yours; I love you, Athanasia."

"I love you too, Lucas." The dusk was a witness to their kiss, the magic of their vow tingling upon their lips. And, when they parted, laughter accompanied them, a song of comfort that they would never part.

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Lucas blinked awake, shadows filling his room in a blanket of darkness. As he lifted himself, groaning and stretching his limbs, he couldn't help but feel as if he was forgetting something. A rosen garden and a woman with golden silk for hair, or even a pair of the most vivid sapphire eyes. Images, blurry and faint, flashed before his eyes.

By the time that he had completed his morning routine, the dream was long forgotten.

But a single name rolled upon his tongue, a heavy weight, an itch that he couldn't calm. As he looked at himself in the mirror, dark hair with even darker eyes, both gleaming beneath the harsh glare of his LED lights, Lucas called upon a name that he had never heard before in his life. "Athanasia."

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The dawn will bring to fruit the promise made in the land of dreams, of a time long forgotten, of a love long parted.

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Athanasia gasped, taking a step back. She could distinctly remember falling asleep on her large bed, safe in the thought that she was in her house with her parents closeby. So what was this? How could it have happened?

She had opened her eyes to a rose gold sea and a horizon where light spilled from the sun like a waterfall of golden sands. The air felt hot, sweat clinging to her skin, and it smelled of salt, thick against her nostrils. Maybe, that's what made her so confused. The sand which was warm enough to burn her soles, or the sea droplets dusting her feet, cold and quick to dry against the summer heat. The dream was far too vivid to be a mere dream.

"It's the beach!" Athanasia spun around to face the source of the voice, only to flinch when she caught sight of the person. Blonde hair the color of gold and eyes that mirrored the calm sea, the woman was clearly an older version of Athanasia. Why? How? What was going on?

Then, the older maiden laughed, running to the water with bare feet. Athanasia's eyes widened, entranced by the laughter filling the beach, and she couldn't help but admire the beauty of her older companion. "Is that really me?"

"Athanasia! Be careful!" Thick and velvety akin to melted chocolates. It was how she knew that this older maiden was supposed to be her. It was a voice dripping with honey, alluring in every single way, and it was nothing compared to when Athanasia turned around to face him. Her eyes widened, sparkling beneath the setting sun, and she openly gawked as she wondered, "who is he?"

But, when her older self wrapped her arms around his neck, calling his name before kissing him on the lips, Athanasia screamed. Pillows and blankets flew across her peripheral, falling with a thud on her floor, and she could only sit upon her bed with an expression of disbelief. Once again, her eyes sparkled, this time beneath the glorious dawn, and she called upon the name that she had heard. "Lucas."

It felt familiar, but she had never seen him before.

Chapter Text

Part 1

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The memories long forgotten crackle beneath the ashes of our love. 

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It had been more than a week already since Athanasia had that dream, which was not good for her single- had always been single- heart. It replayed in her mind, a broken record playing at the most awkward moments- during mealtimes, during her walks, and even during conversations. There was nothing more awkward than thinking about that stupid kiss with her parents in the room, or even while being in the middle of a conversation with her serious father, Claude.

“Honey,” Diana, Athanasia’s mother, would often say. Her eyes were filled with sympathy while watching her daughter trip in thin air. For a young maiden trained in dancing, it was more than embarrassing indeed. What could she do? What could she even say? The past few days made Athanasia want to be buried in the golden sands of that wretched dream.

“Darling, why don’t you go on a walk?” Diana finally said with a finger pointing at their dog, Raven. “Why don’t you take him with you? Maybe, it’ll help.”

Out of all of the walks that Athanasia had already taken, none had yet to work. However, since this was suggested by her mother, perhaps it would bring a miracle. The high schooler followed her dog through the streets, waving to her neighbors with a smile on her face. But, Raven was energetic, beginning to drag her along until they were at the park that Athanasia’s family used to frequent.

It wasn't a big park, but it was popular because it was at the center of town, along with the fact that it had more amenities than other parks. There was an area for dogs accompanied by little crates and obstacles, and a playground for children. There were the swings where she and her childhood friends used to frequent, not to mention the sandbox where they made castles. The youngest of the Obelia family smiled, remembering the childhood that seemed more of a distant dream, for they had always laughed back then.

What happened?

Her smile fell, a sigh trapped in her throat. Athanasia turned around, looking for her dog, who was sitting patiently by her side. Raven had always been obedient, and he was uniquely attuned to her emotions. The dog barked, his ears folded against his head. Well, there wasn’t much that she could do against her empathetic companion. “Yes, yes. Let’s go for a longer walk.”

Raven barked again, earning an endearing smile. Athanasia had far too many concerns in her life to be distracted over a single man, one that could very well be fictional. As the two exited the park, memories of a merry childhood lingering behind, she decided to forget about that adonis of a man.

Well, until she saw him again. 

This time, she opened her eyes to the living room of an apartment. Gold, amethyst, and garnet; the burning colors of a dying sun painted the walls as she posed upon the coffee table. When she sat down, she focused on the two figures on the sofa, one blonde and the other a ravenette, both intertwined in a way that the yin-and-yang had hoped to portray. 

Athanasia noted the way that the two embraced, the older Athanasia’s face in the crook of Lucas’ neck. And, the way that he held her so delicately, firm yet gentle with his nose in her hair, made the young maiden feel so alone. It was evident to her that, even in his sleep, he loved her.

“We have to be lovers,” she eventually said. First, they kissed. Now, they were cuddling. Athanasia understood enough to know that they had to be lovers, but what did that mean? “I mean, what does the universe want to say?”

The dream was far too vivid, and the dream wasn’t shy in showing her what she needed to see either. A kiss and an embrace, even an apartment to indicate that they were living together. 

Was the man real? “I hope that he’s real.” 

Will she ever meet him? “I hope that I can meet him.”

That's what she had hoped. That was what she had said in her dream, a soft smile blossoming on her face. However, when she went to take a walk again the next day, this time without Raven because she needed space, Athanasia had never expected to see those garnet eyes and raven hair.

Garnet and gold gleamed within his eyes, his skin a beautiful tan beneath the afternoon sun. Her feet stopped, her eyes staring at him for he was ever so beautiful, more than the dream had ever portrayed. When he turned his head, his eyes also widened.

“Oh my gosh,” Athanasia couldn’t help whispering, her heart a thunderous fury. Unprepared with actually meeting the man of her dreams, literally, she turned around and began to walk away. A hand flew after her, firmly grabbing her arm. She was forced to turn her head and face that man with flames within his eyes. “Have we met before?”

The young maiden’s breath paused. In the light of a sunset, the funeral of another day, two silhouettes embraced. Their lips met in a brief moment of time, but it was enough to engrave the memory in a voyeur's mind. And now that she was standing in front of that man, she shook her head frantically.

“Fuck it,” she screamed in her mind, pushing his hand off hurriedly. She ran away, leaving the man behind with a scream. "Nope! I’ve never seen you before! Haha, we’re strangers, just like you think we are!"

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“I’ll be back, father.” A tall figure bent at his hips, lowering his head in respect towards an altar. There, upon a small table, was a large picture frame surrounded by fresh flowers. A man was smiling, his hair a pristine shade of white, and he was embracing a brunette woman who was holding a young infant in her arms. All were smiling, their happiness immortalized in a wooden frame. 

Then, the young man lifted his body and turned away, his eyes a dull shade of red.

It was a bright, sunny day, warmth seeping into his skin. However, Lucas couldn’t seem to feel any of it. He couldn’t seem to feel anything, really. His day was a monotonous ballad playing continuously, a soft hymn barely able to keep him awake.

Even when he went to sleep, it was something that he hardly wanted to wake up from. He had far too many memories to remember while conscious.

Until he had that dream. He could hardly remember it, but that name kept rumbling on his tongue. It slid off occasionally, a whisper interrupting his soft ballad. Athanasia… Athanasia… “who are you, Athanasia?”

So, when he saw her again, Lucas vowed to remember who she was.

He opened his eyes to the blinding sunset, golden ichor spilling into a massive room. It was seeping through the glass windows and running down the walls; however, through it all, he could only watch the two figures bathing beneath that scorching star.

It was fascinating for the young man, garnet eyes staring at a duplicate of himself. In that man’s embrace was a young woman the same age, golden ichor also dripping down her silken waves. And, when they began to speak, he approached. His silent steps were replaced by his furious heartbeat.

“I love you.” His heart thundered again. His steps paused along with his thoughts. Lucas could only stare at that young man, himself.

The maiden gently pushed his other self away, and he feared for a moment that he was being rejected. However, there was an emotion in her eyes akin to that of a starved man, a person who had been waiting for something their whole life. It was a solemn moment, time frozen in the wake of the confession.

“I have never been enough ,” his other self continued. Lucas wanted to cry. “ Or, maybe, I have always been too much. Too powerful of a mage, too numb to understand my mentor's pain, and too weak to protect you when that was all that I needed to do."

A gentle hand held the alternate Lucas’ cheek, raging flames meeting the ocean waves, and that young man leaned closer to her palm. "I needed the fruits to protect you, to regain my mana and be the mage that you need to protect you, but I couldn't leave. All I want is to stay by your side. All I've ever been is too much, but you've always treated me as just Lucas. I'll admit that I don't know what love is, but I cherish you. I can't live without you.

I can only ever love you."

“Look at this son of a-” Lucas laughed in his mind. He was in disbelief that this other version of himself could confess so boldly, so wholeheartedly. He could barely even feel a thing after his adoptive parent had died, much less learn to know what love was again. Yet, this dream was showing him a love overflowing with the blessings of the gods. He couldn’t believe it.

More so, he was desperate to have it for himself.

The young woman replied as they rested their foreheads together, “I love you too.”

“I know… thank you for being patient.” Lucas watched as those two leaned closer to one another, sharing a kiss while bathing in the light of a dying star. Even after he woke up, he could not erase that image from his mind, the first alteration to his monotonous ballad.

Then, he began to receive more dreams. Sometimes, it would include two children punching each other in a luxurious room, while other dreams would portray two young adults dancing in a banquet hall. All of it began to change his days, the gray world slowly becoming filled with color. And his favorite had to be the afternoon, golden ichor rippling on the ground, and it would bathe his dark clothes with the color of gold- for a moment, he could pretend that he was that Lucas.

That giddiness was nothing to seeing Athanasia.

There was no way that he wouldn’t recognize those sapphire eyes for it raged with the glory of Poseidon himself. It rippled and stormed with her surprise, and he couldn’t get enough of her voice when she said, “oh my gosh.”

It was a song, a lullaby, that he would listen to for his entire life. So, when she turned around, he instinctively held her arm. Having not planned what to say, however, all that left his lips was, “have we met before?”

What he hadn’t expected was for horror to appear on her face, and for that goddess of a maiden to push his hand away. She even ran away while screaming, and he was left with his thoughts. The hopeful melody that the dreams had given him reverted to the soft ballad.

“Right, that was too much.”

Part 2

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The red string falters, tearing apart, but the souls that have already fallen in love cannot help but fall again. 

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First, she had been tripping on thin air. Now, she just ran away from the man of her dreams. Athanasia truly believed that the universe was bullying her, or something. Either way, she couldn’t change the past; she could only decide her future.

Athanasia didn’t return to that park again out of sheer embarrassment. 

Instead, she began to spend more time with her older cousin, Jeanette.

Jeanette was the daughter of her uncle, Anastacius, who was as successful of a businessman as her own father, Claude. More so, her mother was an actress known for her villainess performances, Penelope Judith.

Since both had a celebrity for a mother and a business tycoon for a father, neither of them got to spend much time with their parents. So, their childhood had been filled with spending time with other children of successful individuals, their loneliness washed away by the laughter of their childhood selves. And, now that Athanasia was struggling with her thoughts, she really only had Jeanette to call.

“What?” Jeanette asked, half of her confused expression hidden behind a book. Athanasia nodded, her voice filled with aggravation. “So, I’ve been having these dreams about a man and an older version of myself. He’s a really fine man, by the way.”

“Of course, that’s important,” her cousin commented while gently lowering her book. Athanasia yelled, “I’m sayin.’ Anyways, so I’ve been having these dreams and I didn’t really think that he could be real. Then, I recently saw him at Central Park!”

“Oh? Then, what did you do?” At this point, Jeanette was intrigued. She tilted her head to the side, azure eyes watching her cousin. Her energy was not matched. No, Athanasia’s face flushed. “I… you see… I wasn’t prepared to see him, and…”

“Athy, you couldn’t have possibly walked away.” Her face flushed darker. When she spoke, it was a mere whisper. “It was worse.”

“How can it be worse? You couldn’t have possibly gone up to him and started a conversation about those dreams. Athy, no offense, but you don’t have the guts to do that.”

“I didn’t! Instead, I said oh my gosh and tried to walk away. But he grabbed my arm, really gently, by the way. So, I had to look at him, and he asked me if I knew him. What was I supposed to say?”

“...that you didn’t?” Jeanette replied blandly. Athanasia released a wounded cry. “I should have! I should have been cool about it. Instead, I threw his hand away. THREW! Then, I ran away screaming like a maniac. It was something about me never meeting him and us being strangers. That’s not important.”

“How is that not important?” Her cousin asked with the hint of a laugh. “What’s important is that I ran away! What the fuck? Why did I run away?”

She had never experienced such embarrassment before. She didn’t even believe herself capable of seeing him again without fainting out of shame. Faced with her cousin’s crisis, however, Jeanette began to laugh. At first, it was muted, covered by her hand. Then, it began to fill her room, until it was an unstoppable sound that had the brunette hunching over while clutching her stomach. “Jeanette, I’m serious! This is not funny!”

It only made her cousin laugh harder. In the end, Athanasia also began to laugh.

When both of them finally regained control, Jeanette gazed upon her cousin. Athanasia met her eyes, those sapphire ponds rippling. “Is there something particular about it that concerns you?”

“...I don’t know. I just don’t… I looked forward to seeing him after having those dreams. Now, I feel like I ruined it by doing that to him. He probably thinks that I’m weird. I mean, that was so embarrassing.” Jeanette shook her head, reaching for her cousin’s hands. Athanasia closed her eyes, leaning forward to rest her forehead on her cousin’s shoulder.

When Jeanette spoke, it was soft. She squeezed the younger’s hands. “It was a perfectly normal reaction.”

“No it wasn’t.”

“It was. You weren’t prepared to see him, much less talk to him, so you took yourself out of that situation. Of course, I won’t deny that it was a little enthusiastic-”

When Athanasia made another wounded cry, Jeanette squeezed her hands again. “It was still normal. And, if you see him again, even if he remembers it and brings it up, you can just brush it off or laugh about it. One impression, even a first impression, does not have to last.”

There was a moment of silence, two maidens relaxing in one another’s presence. Then, Athanasia nodded. “You’re right. Yeah, I can do that.”

“Of course you can! There’s nothing that you can’t do, Athy. Nothing.”

With her fears assuaged and her embarrassment… still there, though more muted, the days quickly flew by. She spent the days completing her summer reading with Jeanette and keeping in contact with her other childhood friends. Athanasia even began to return to that park, but she didn’t see him again. Although disappointed, she was more relieved.

Just like that, the first day of school arrived with another dream.

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Lucas had returned to his previous routine. There was the singular bow to the image of his father before leaving the house. Then, the sun would greet him, a blinding glare in his vision. He would ignore it. The warmth that had begun to seep into his skin had dispersed, replaced by anger.

He was angry at Athanasia for running away. He was angry at whoever had given him that dream. More than anything else, however, he was angry with himself. 

What sane person would grab a stranger’s arm? What respectable person would ask that stranger if they’d met before? Would she not greet him if she cared enough? Would she not call out his name like Athanasia did in that dream?

“I ruined it,” Lucas repeated in his mind, a continuous mantra, the minor notes to his soft ballad. “She must be terrified of seeing me again.”

So, he avoided her and the park where they met. He took longer routes, sitting in the farther parks, and even isolated himself in his apartment. Worse yet, however, Lucas began to stay awake.

The young man in love with naps, of wanting to sleep for the rest of his life, began to keep his eyes open. That way, he wouldn’t have to see that gorgeous face,  along with visions of a love set ablaze beneath the sun and the stars and the clouds of history.

Then, it began to rain.

Thunderous clouds filled the sky, grey and dismal with flashes of glorious white. The atmosphere would crackle with a booming sound before a large flash would fill the windows, smearing the apartment walls with blinding light. All of it made Lucas incapable of sleeping even if he wanted to.

He closed his eyes, his breath uneven, ignoring the memories that those flashes brought. Of a hair similar in color, an unforgettable shade of white, and of a hand covering his with warmth; the movie of his childhood played before his shrouded eyes. And he cried. He cried for the man that he bows for each and every single day of his life. He screamed for the family that had replaced his very existence. He wailed for the family that had left him behind, until the rain ended.

Lucas was left with nothing but exhaustion.

When the young man fell asleep on the sofa, he opened his eyes to another dream.

There was rain again. His eyes widened, swallowing the sight beyond the massive windows: midnight clouds, large raindrops, pillars of lightning. The more that he watched, the more that Lucas trembled. Even in his dreams, he could not seem to rest.

Then, he began to hear a different sound. Music. Soft trills drizzled the surface of his ears, light touches until it became louder and louder. Suddenly, the sound was hailing upon him, pulling his gaze away from the window to the opposite wall. It was smeared with the same color as the skies. Even then, he had already dreamt enough to know that two others were present.

Lightning descended with a flood of light. There they were again, Lucas and Athanasia. And, along with the dissonant trills playing from somewhere, they were twisting and shaking in a dance that was certainly not a waltz. In fact, the lonely audience thought that they had gone crazy with the weather.

Arms convulsed away from their torsos. Legs trembled and stomped on the ground. Lucas, quite frankly, had never seen a more grotesque dance. And, he found himself laughing. He found himself enjoying the sight. He could not, for the life of him, join them. However, he certainly cheered them on. By the time that the duo before him collapsed, never hearing his laughter or cheers, that young man turned his head to find that the rain had ended.

Although the storm had passed, the sky was still dark. There were no stars glittering the sky; rather, pearls were gleaming on the ground. The earth had captured the liquid stars that had fallen during the storm. It was beautiful. It really was. And it was the first time that Lucas had ever seen the scene after a storm, for he usually fell asleep right after the onslaught of memories and emotions.

“Why don’t you just use magic to stop it?” Lucas blinked, his eyes still drinking the sight of the sea of pearls, even as he listened to the conversation behind him.

“Is there a need to?” “I mean, it always upsets you.”

“I can’t help it. The rain brings back terrible memories.” Lucas laughed. He could relate to the other Lucas.

“So, change the weather whenever it rains.” Lucas noted how Athanasia sounded exasperated. He couldn’t blame her. Even he was annoyed. If he had the ability to do so, he would have long taken that advice. So, why wasn’t the other Lucas jumping aboard?

“Then, how will I be able to move on?” Silence. With the still clouds and the absent music, there was only silence in the wake of that question. The other Lucas continued. “If I keep running away, how will I learn to face the rain?”

The words pierced Lucas’ heart.

“...dancing away the night whenever it rains isn’t any better than changing the weather, you know.”

A laugh followed Athanasia’s soft reply. “It’s vastly different, stupid. If the rain keeps bringing back terrible memories, then I just have to start replacing them with better ones!”

Lucas woke up with those words ringing in his mind. Perhaps it hadn’t been long since he fell asleep, for there were still raindrops puddling on the ground. Once again, he stared at that sea of pearls. Then, he laughed, remembering the grotesque dancing that he had witnessed. He laughed, and he laughed, and he cried while laughing his heart out. The teardrops rained upon the shores of his cheeks and puddled on his skin, but he rode the laughter as he hunched over the altar of his adoptive parent.

He laughed in the face of the family that had left him. And, he cried out the anger and resentment, until there weren’t any teardrops left in his clouded eyes. When he stood, he bowed with dazzling garnet eyes.

“I hope that you’re having a blessed day, father… you too, Violetta and Elliot.”