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Julie was always a people person. She related easily, helped with whatever she could, and was prepared for any dialogue, trivial or otherwise. Rose used to say that she was an almost complete eclipse of extroversion, with just a hint of shyness. And Julie liked how she connected with people easily.
That ability had diminished somewhat after Rose's death. Those were hard times. But she regenerated over time. Her social ability had gained a limit, true, but it was still quite high. Julie genuinely enjoyed being in contact with people.
But man, she could explode if she had to deal with anyone else asking her to do something, interrupting her, or doubting her abilities. She needed a break from everyone, and thank God it came at a convenient time.
“You are very possessive of the Bluetooth”, Carlos complained, with his arms crossed, and Julie smiled.
“My car, my rules. It's not my fault if your taste in music is horrible.”
She parked the car outside the field and her shoulders grew lighter with anticipation.
“This isn't even your car, it's Dad's! And my taste in music isn't horrible, it's you who can't appreciate quality.”
“Anything that makes you feel better about yourself.”
She watched the teenager gather his belongings. Carlos had a growth spurt around the age of fourteen and hadn't stopped since. It was ridiculous how tall he was now and he didn't miss any opportunity to rub in her face the height difference. It was still hard to believe that he was almost graduating from school.
“You are a terrible sister.”
“Keep telling lies and I won't take you anywhere else.” A shit-eating grin appeared on her face. “And let's face it, you need the ride. It would be humiliating to have Dad drive you to places since you haven't passed your driving test yet.”
“I hate you.”
He got out of the car and slammed the door. Julie couldn't resist lowering the window for one last warning.
“Any problems you have, don't call me. I no longer exist in the known world! And happy ghost convention!”
Carlos showed her the middle finger without turning around. Julie couldn't suppress a laugh and a final sigh. She was finally alone.
Her father was out of town for a job and Carlos had plans with Tía, which meant that the house would be empty for quite some time. Julie planned to spend as many hours as she could enjoying the long-awaited solitude, and nothing could stop her.
She shouldn't have bet on it so much.
Before she could start the car, her attention was drawn to her cell phone screen, which lit up with the arrival of a new message.
Rockstar
What do you think of a master chef program?
Julie groaned in complaint. Why did he have to suggest it right on that day? He knew that she loved to cook together and was almost always up for whatever he suggested. But she couldn't give in. She had her schedule already set.
No
Rockstar
Please :(
Pretty please
I'm lonely
Deal with your loneliness, then
cause I already have plans with mine
Julie thought that would be enough. That she had succeeded in not giving in to his charm. She shouldn't have been so hopeful.
Rockstar
Put your loneliness together with mine, then
Please come
I miss you
With that last message, she knew that her remaining willpower was not enough. It had been a while since they had seen each other, and using the longing card was cowardice. But she should have known that he wouldn't play it clean.
Julie grumbled in defeat and typed a reply to him before starting the car. She had to stop changing her plans because of a few affected words from a pretty boy. He shouldn't have such an effect on her in any way.
In less than twenty minutes she unlocked the familiar door with the emergency key. Which was a name too fake to give it, since Julie used it more than the one from her own house, but it was the technical name.
Before she could properly enter the apartment, she was attacked by a hairball of energy and drool. Laughter was inevitable and she crouched down so she could pet the happy creature.
“I missed you too, you beautiful thing! Even though you saw me two days ago.”
The dog barked as if he understood her and moved forward to cover her face with affectionate licks. A burst of laughter bubbled up in Julie's chest and pure joy overwhelmed her. That would be enough to improve her mood any day.
“Anakin, I can't believe you're going to steal all the love for yourself. I deserve some of it too.” A second voice scolded in an affectionate tone, and Julie's hair shivered automatically.
The majestic, slightly overweight, beagle barked and backed away toward the other person. Julie stood up slowly, taking in the figure standing across the room piece by piece. His bare feet, the black sweatpants covering his strong legs, the T-shirt with riped sleeves showing off his muscular arms, his well-defined and clean-shaven jaw, the wide and childish smile that could win anyone over, the amused and bright gray eyes, and the messy brown hair. Julie's breath caught in her throat for a moment.
Luke fucking Patterson, a musician by soul and hottie by long time spent in the gym, was posing against the wall with tranquility. Promoted to best friend after a shared music class in freshman year of high school, he looked at her as if he knew all of her secrets, and he probably didn't even notice it.
“‘Sup, Julie. Do you still have enough attention for me, or is it all for Anakin?”
She swallowed hard when the low timbre hit her, but kept her expression unchanged, even though her insides were turning to jelly. Oh, yeah! She was in love with him. So, like, yey!
Julie rolled her eyes and fixed the glasses on her face, crooked from Anakin's attack. She closed the front door, took off her sweatshirt and hung it on a hook, and placed her shoes with the others in the pile. They were never the most organized.
“You already get enough attention from your fans, don't you think? Even more so now that you are about to release your first album.”
“But I want the one from our number one fan, can't I? I am picky about the attention I want.”
“That’s such a lie. You're so needy that you'll take anything anyone offers you.” Even with the criticism, Julie approached him.
“That may be a little true, but it doesn't exclude the fact that I need some Julie.” Luke opened his arms in a clear invitation. “I'll even beg if that's the case, but I really hope I don't need to.” She was pretty sure it was intentional, but he put on the stray puppy-dog eyes that had been perfected over the years. And with Anakin beside him with the same expression, it was almost cowardly.
Julie's pose lasted a few more seconds before it broke apart with a sigh and she sank against Luke's defined body. His arms encircled her and he gave a gentle squeeze as if to pull her as close as possible. She would love that too, not knowing where she ended and he began. Even more so because he exuded heat from every pore, almost like a furnace.
Julie couldn't help but snuggle a little closer, rubbing her cheek against the soft, frayed fabric of his t-shirt. A hug from Luke Patterson was like coming home, and it was exactly what she needed to feel relaxed.
“You seem very stressed. I didn't get in the way of any of your plans, did I?” He moved his hands to her shoulders, massaging the tense muscles. Julie could suspect that she was in heaven.
“Just to have some time alone. If I were to be around people for one more minute I swear I would lose my primary defendant.”
“And yet you came to stay with me.” She could hear the amusement and ego in his voice. “Should I be flattered?”
“Not even a little bit. Spending time with you won't affect my alone time. And no one will care if you mysteriously disappear.”
“But didn't you say that I get a lot of attention from the fans? They would miss me for sure.”
“You greatly underestimate my ability to draw people's attention away from you. Not to mention that Alex and Reggie would help me hide your body without a second thought.”
Julie pulled away from the hug and looked straight into the gray eyes. They had an amused twinkle and were crinkled in the corner because of his smile. It seemed like a very intimate sight, one she felt very lucky to be able to have. Even if it wasn't in the way her heart longed for.
“Do you want to talk about what has made you so stressed? You usually don't despise being around people so much.”
Luke raised a hand and, in a gesture that seemed unconscious, pushed a curl away from her face. Julie tried her best to ignore that simple action; after all, it was not the first time he had done this. Luke had always been extremely affectionate to all his friends. But she seemed to be oversensitized for some reason because her breath caught in her throat and Julie wasn't sure if she had managed to disguise her expression.
“I…” Julie huffed and took a step back, needing space for her lungs to function again. “I just needed a break.” He didn't seem to believe her answer, but she continued before he could say anything. “But what about you? Where are the boys? It's so quiet in this house.”
She moved further away from the tempting warm body and looked around. The room was organized, she observed. Well, as organized as it could be in an apartment where three boys lived and one of them was Alex.
The cushions of the gray sofa were thrown haphazardly over it, and a light blue blanket adorned the back of it. Julie smiled at the sight of the welcome to the new house gift she had knitted. Anakin jumped up on the furniture and snuggled in, completely ignoring his bed positioned on the floor beside the couch.
On the coffee table, miraculously ignored by the animal, lay a half-drunk coffee mug, several crumpled sheets of paper, Luke's notebook, and a plate with crumbs from what she assumed was his breakfast. She was more than used to this scene, he had a habit of getting into a zone when he was writing a song.
Hanging on the walls were a red bass from Reggie, the blue electric guitar, and a guitar from Luke, which added another touch to the musician's home decor. It had been an essential decision after a particularly fatal attack by Anakin against a guitar and an amplifier cable. The poor instrument had to have its neck replaced and Luke was left for a week in a bad mood and giving no attention to the animal. It was a complicated time.
Luke looked at her suspiciously but didn't seem to want to insist.
“Alex and Willie decided to take a romantic trip. I think they went to Las Vegas or something.”
“Vegas?” Luke nodded and Julie whistled. “I think it might be a tactic of Willie's to get Alex to marry him without all the planning anxiety.” The man laughed at the thought of the situation.
“I wouldn't doubt one bit that Alex would come back with a ring on his finger.”
“Neither do I. I know Willie wants it badly, so it would be an opportunity. And Reggie?”
“Reg was going to the convention with your brother. When he left, he said he was going to stop at a market or something and go straight to your home.” Julie opened her mouth in surprise. He frowned in confusion. “You didn't know?”
“I didn't know anything", she said in a disbelieving way. “I just left that little shit at his practice and he didn't tell me anything. I thought it was just him and Tía Victoria.” Which was something Julie was still amazed at. Carlos could get their aunt to agree to his plans so easily.
“You siblings are always so kind to one another.” She rolled her eyes at his niggling. “But I think Reg made a last-minute decision. He needed something to distract him away from here.”
Luke made fun of the way she talked about her brother, but the affection and concern in his voice at the mention of the boys were the same. They might not share the same blood, but no one could claim they weren't a family.
“Oh, yeah! Kayla is already back in Berkeley, right? How is Reggie doing?”
“Pretty bad. Yesterday he spent all day on the couch watching Disney movies with a chocolate bar. It was sad to see.” Anakin agreed with a grumble.
“It must be hard for him to get back into a long-distance relationship after two weeks of being glued with Kayla in the pure romantic mood. But he'll get through it”, Julie said with conviction and Luke gave her a confused look. He looked really cute with his hair falling over his eyes, but she forced herself not to pay attention to that. “I mean, they’ve been through three years of this. Reg is strong enough to take it a little longer.”
“That's true.” Luke took a step closer to Julie with a smile playing on his lips. “But he handled it very well. If it were me, I think I'd be a complete mess and probably do something crazy within the first year.”
“But that is because you are impatient and need attention more than a houseplant.”
“So does Reggie", he accused, with his arms crossed and a pout on his face. “ He only gets away with it because he has Anakin to spoil him. I even try, but this unfair guy doesn't love me that much.”
“That's because you keep slandering him.” Julie walked over to the dog on the couch and stroked the top of his head. The animal melted at the touch. “Isn't that right, you beautiful thing? He keeps bad-mouthing you and thinks there won't be any consequences.”
“I wouldn't speak shit of him if he stopped eating my cables.” Despite the frustration in his voice, Luke could not resist joining in. Julie couldn't hold back a laugh. “I'm serious, Jules. Anakin has gnawed at least five of my cables in the last month alone. This way I'll go bankrupt.”
“You are just being dramatic. Cables will not bankrupt you.”
“Maybe not, but it is very boring to buy the same thing every single time.” He snorted and ran his hand over the dog's snout affectionately. “You have all the toys you want, but you go after my instruments. What is your problem with me?”
Julie propped her chin on her hand and observed the scene. Anakin had his belly turned up and his tongue was hanging out of his mouth. He was completely surrendered. And Luke gave him the stroking he was asking for.
Her heart gave a jump before it started racing. This was not fair. Luke had such a loving look in his eyes that it warmed her body. Even though he claimed to be mad with the animal, a slight smile dominated his face and his whole body seemed relaxed. It was so rare to see him calm and at peace, commonly shrouded in a bubble of crackling energy, that it sent shivers down her skin. Julie would dare to say that he never looked more beautiful.
“Maybe he just wants more attention from you.” Her voice seemed to bring him back to reality and she looked at him sympathetically. “That's why you asked me to do a cooking program, isn't it? To get attention and feel less lonely because the boys aren't here?”
“No…” Julie narrowed her eyes and it wasn't long before Luke shrugged his shoulders in withdrawal. “Maybe? I have reasons.”
“Which would be…”
“First of all, I miss you. It wasn't easy to be without my dose of Julie for so long.”
“You hated this retreat, didn't you?”
Luke grunted and sank onto the couch, covering his face. Laughter was involuntary at his reaction, but Julie mimicked the pose.
“Spending so much time alone in an isolated place with pretty much no cell signal is as bad as it sounds. You discover things about yourself that are not always welcome. And I still missed the new year with you guys, which was the worst part.”
“Why did you agree to this anyway? You knew it was a shitty idea.”
“Because Andi and the record label thought it would be good to have a change of scenery. They wanted one last extra song to finish the album, and they thought that a change of environment would inspire me. I decided to give it a chance, you know. Having new experiences always brings inspiration.”
“But you don't need that to write a song. You're an amazing songwriter even without any tactics”, Julie assured him. Luke turned his head and gave her a bright, shy smile that made her stomach churn.
“I know.” He shrugged his shoulders and she rolled her eyes with his ego, even though it had a basis. “But I thought it was worth a try. It’s never too much to experiment with new ways of inspiration.” He sighed. “Next time, don't let me do that.”
“I won’t. At least you got the music you needed?”
“Several, actually. It turns out that being alone sparks creativity in a very sad way.”
Julie waited for him to continue, but Luke remained quiet. She looked at him in a disbelieving way. She didn’t believe that he wasn't going to say anything more and leave her hovering on the edge. But Luke did, standing there staring at the ceiling, one hand resting on his belly and the other caressing Anakin.
“And you are not gonna share these songs? Let your partner have her say?”, she suggested slowly, attracting the man's attention. Luke cracked a shit-eating grin and Julie understood the teasing.
“Maybe later.” He stood up with a sigh and held out his hands to her. ”First, we're going to cook. Which is the second reason why I called you.”
“I knew you didn't want me for my company.” Julie huffed but accepted his help in getting up. She purposely chose to ignore the shock that went through her body at the simple touch of his hands. “My cooking skills are also useful for a grown man who doesn't know how to feed himself.”
“Hey, you know that's not true. I make the best sandwich you’ve ever had and I know the basics", he complained indignantly. Julie rolled her eyes and, as much as he was right, refused to agree.
“You can keep yourself up and have de option to order your own food. So why do you need me?”
“Because the boys bought a fish a while ago. I am pretty sure that Reggie was going to make sushi or Alex was going to use it for a romantic dinner with Willie, or something. Only they forgot about its existence and in a short time, it will get worse. And now Reg and Alex are out and they made it clear that I wasn't supposed to throw anything away.”
“And what does this have to do with me?”
“I don't know how to make fish.” Luke squeezed Julie's hands, which she didn't even realize he was still holding and pointed at her with joined hands. “You do. Then you'll help me.”
Julie struggled not to look away from his lost puppy-dog expression. The hesitation within her began to flicker too fast, but she persisted.
“Please?”
God, Flynn would be so disappointed at how easily she was allowing herself to be convinced by Luke.
“Urgh! Okay. Man, you are a danger to humanity.”
Luke tilted his head back in a laugh and Julie had to stop herself from enjoying the attractive curve of his throat. It was so unfair how attractive he was.
All Julie wanted was to spend some time alone at home, maybe write a little or do some college assignments. But with no one around. Why did Luke Patterson have to have that convincing charm that made her want to stay by his side? That was not a good idea for anyone, and she should have realized that from the first time he complimented her voice.
Well, now it was a little late to turn back.
“But then you're going to make that peanut butter cookie”, Julie demanded, starting to walk backward into the kitchen. Luke, who still had one hand attached to hers, followed her. “I'll take it as a reward.”
“So you are going to exploit my unbelievably great baking skills? Shame on you, Jules. I thought you were going to help me out of the pure goodness of your heart.”
“I mean, it was you who made me change my plans. It's only fair.” Julie let go of Luke, trying her best not to pay attention to the emptiness that took place. Instead, she focused on the shocked expression of the man, who was still standing in the kitchen doorway. “And it's your fault for getting me addicted to these cookies. They are so good, but no one else can get the recipe right, and you only make them once in a while so that Alex won't be sad and jealous.”
“So you're going to take advantage of the fact that Alex isn't here, and neither is Reggie, so you can eat a whole batch of cookies? Don't blame me tomorrow when you wake up with a pimple on your face.”
Despite the teasing, Luke began to move around in search of the ingredients. Julie decided to do the same, trying to remember Tía's easiest salmon recipe.
“It will be worth it for some small happiness today. I could use a little pampering.” Julie sighed, feeling light for the first time in days.
“So... Are you gonna tell me what made you want to isolate yourself? Because this is not normal and, frankly, it's kinda freaking me out.”
She looked at Luke from behind the open refrigerator door only to find him propped up from the counter and with his attention on her. He looked sincere and had a frown on his face. It was enough to make Julie feel disarmed.
“I just... got tired of people”, she started, going back to her search for ingredients. “I can't stand having to pick up coffee like I'm some assistant only to have someone complain about their own order later. Or having to act as a messenger, a telephone operator, or even a computer technician!”
Julie huffed and pushed the refrigerator door open with her foot. She had the impression of seeing Luke flinch a little, but it was probably nothing. Her bubbling blood could confuse her perception.
“I thought you got the job at the record label?”
“It's been three months!” If Alex knew the brutality with which she was treating his pots, she was doomed. “And the only thing I could do related to music was when you guys went to record.”
Julie no longer knew whether the tone in her voice was frustration or desperation. Her movements seemed to become more frantic, as did the rhythm of her voice. She didn't risk looking up, but she could bet that Luke was either scared or worried. Maybe a little of both.
“Why did I try so hard to get this job? I can't help anything, no one listens, let alone considers my opinions. I don't participate in meetings and many times I can't even follow the recording and development of new artists. I'm not being of any use at all and it's not adding anything to my knowledge of the music industry or my musical skills.”
Julie took a gasping breath, but with each word that came out of her mouth, some of the pressure left her shoulders. God, it was such a good feeling.
She felt Luke approaching, but that didn't stop her from continuing.
“And, as if that wasn't enough, my classes are barely back and I'm already full of assignments and research. Not to mention all the exams I have to study for, the final project I have to create and still think about the recital and I just... URGH!”
Luke's calloused fingers covered hers lightly, causing her to release the nearly crushed vegetable, and the solid body took place behind her. That was all it took for Julie to give in against him, feeling the exhaustion coursing through her body and the blood ringing in her ear.
Slowly she became aware of herself and her surroundings again. Her breathing was ragged, small tears formed in the corners of her eyes, and her hands were shaking. She was a mess.
But Luke was there. One of his hands covered hers, giving a small massage, and his other arm was crossed over her waist, giving her the support she didn't know she needed. He had his cheek pressed against her hair, enveloping her in a cocoon of affection and protection.
“I think you need a break", he murmured, running his nose through her curly hair.
Julie laughed, a little disbelieving at his reassurance after she had discoursed on her stress. But she shouldn't be surprised; Luke was a good listener.
“I'm sorry for dumping this on you.” She rubbed her free hand over her face, getting rid of any evidence of tears.
“It's okay, that's what I'm here for.” He gave her one last squeeze before walking away. Julie turned around, and his gray eyes automatically locked on hers. “You really should take a break, clear your head. Trying to solve everything at once doesn't work.”
“And that's what I'm doing here", she reinforced, earning a bright smile in response.
“You are the best student I have ever met. Much better than I ever was.” Julie looked at him amused, remembering how relapsing Luke used to be with his studies. He seemed to have the same memory and rolled his eyes. “Okay, that doesn't mean much, but you know what I mean. You're smart and you can do anything. Not to mention what an insane musician you are, so you have nothing to worry about with anything involving performance or songwriting.” She shouldn't be surprised about the fact that he found a way to praise her, but that he didn't do it before. “Just don't try to do more than you can handle at once, okay? You will graduate in a few months anyway, so don't let it stress you more than necessary.”
Julie nodded, with a slight smile on her face.
“And as for the job, you shouldn't let them underestimate you.” Luke squeezed her hand, which he was still holding, and assumed an indignant expression. “Don't ask permission to be a part of things or expect someone to come after you. You have to swing that wrecking ball of talent that you are in their faces and show them that you are indispensable.”
“You know this is the record label that signed you and the boys, right?”
“I never said they couldn't make good decisions.” Julie couldn't help but laugh. “But they may also have trouble seeing what's right in front of them. And they won't get anywhere without you. Either on the technical side or as an artist.” The suggestion in his voice was evident.
“Not yet, but good try”
“I just had to.” Luke shrugged and she smiled.
Julie sighed, feeling lighter, and reclined against the counter.
“Sometimes I miss when we worked at the pier in Santa Monica", she confessed, playing with the rings on his hand. “Even though you were unfairly tipped more than me.”
“Hey, it's not my fault if people appreciated how I look and therefore gave me more tips. You have to work with what you are best at.”
“Are you talking about your face, hair, or muscles?”
Julie ignored the blush that rose across her face. Not that she had never admitted to Luke's physical attributes. Come on, they were best friends, and those were too many attributes to ignore. But it didn't make her feel any less awkward, as if complimenting him would give away how upside down she was for him.
“Well, I am the complete package, aren’t I.”
Luke shook his hair and Julie looked at him in disbelief at the size of his self-love. She let go of his hand and turned back to her own recipe After a moment of indignation, he did the same.
“But I agree. That job at the pier was the least bad one I ever had before we signed the contract. Being able to sunbathe, interact with people, and be near the beach? Perfect. Too bad it was only for one summer.”
Great torture, actually. Luke was not as shy about his own body as most people, as could be told by the lack of fabric on his shirts. But that summer had been particularly bad. Every evening he insisted on taking a swim at the beach, not to mention spending almost half of the day half-naked and all the stares he got.
Enough to say, it was a summer when Julie's jealousy levels fought with the number of batteries she spent.
“How is Carlos? You said you dropped him off at practice. Has he still not gotten his driver's license?”
“Nope, and it's been amazing to be able to use this against him.” A slightly evil smile broke out on her face. “Every time he has to come and ask me to give him a ride I feel like I've won some competition.”
“Damn, you are mean.” But all there was in his tone was admiration.
“Thank you. But he is doing well, I think. His team has started training for the game season, and Carlos believes they have a good chance.”
“Reggie believes it too.” Julie looked at him confused.” He’s decided that following Carlos as an athlete will keep him from being sad because your brother is already graduating from high school.”
“Oh my God! Sometimes Reg seems more like Carlos' brother than me.”
Not that she was complaining. Julie loved seeing the complicity between her boys and how both of her families became one.
“That's because they have the same spirit. One leaves the other's inner child alive.” He shrugged. “But he's not wrong. I mean, your brother is growing up too fast.”
“Tell me about it. He started receiving scholarship offers for baseball from many colleges. With each one that comes in, I'm sure Dad cries a little. I guess he didn't believe that Carlos would get so many offers. Or think about going to college.”
Luke laughed at her sincerity. Carlos had never been very enthusiastic about school, and after seeing the boys decided not to go on to college, Ray didn't have such high hopes.
“Has he chosen where to go?”
“Not yet, but I don't think he should leave the state.”
“He won't want to stay away from Ray either, will he? I can understand, he is an amazing father.”
“He won't want to stay away from you guys either.” Luke looked at her startled and Julie's heart warmed at how sensitive he seemed. “Reggie is more his brother than I am, you are Carlos' favorite video game partner and he always looks to Alex for advice.”
“But that was still going to continue with the distance.” Oh, God, that boy was so naive.
“And Dad wouldn't stop being his father", she said what was obvious, and Luke rolled his eyes as if she thought he was stupid. Well, at this moment she did a little. “Sometimes the distance isn't worth it to stay away from the ones you love.”
“Aw, you Molinas can be very cute and sensitive.”
“Said the songwriter”, she scoffed, but the whole topic reminded her of a detail that was bothering her. “Hey, speaking of college, have you seen my USC hoodie anywhere? I swear it's just gone.”
“Yeah, it’s with me.”
Julie stopped what she was doing and looked at the carefree man at the end of the counter. He was whistling some unknown melody as he mixed the ingredients in the pot, oblivious as to the small despair she had experienced.
“What?”
Luke focused his eyes on her, frowning at her incredulous expression.
“Your sweatshirt is with me, why?”
“Since when? I've been looking for it for a long time!”
Julie knew it was a bad idea to have picked up the hoodie several sizes larger. It was a reflection of her and the boys' habit of stealing each other's clothing. She must have known that that sweatshirt would not be hers for long, no matter how much she liked it.
Luke sighed and shrugged his shoulders, but did not look away.
“Since Christmas, when you made me climb out of your window at a very inappropriate time and risk my life.”
“Hey, I never made you risk your life", she protested indignantly. “You've climbed through my window more times than I can count.”
“But never with a hangover so bad that it felt like my head was going to rip in half. I could have fallen over.” Luke was very intense about it and made Julie question whether anything had actually happened. “It was still ridiculously early, Christmas morning and freezing outside. Your hoodie was the fastest thing I could grab to protect myself. It was cruel.”
“Would you have preferred that Carlos had seen you? Because you know he has no concept of privacy and he came into my room just as you left, to call me to exchange gifts.” She assumed a provocative tone at his disturbed expression. “I'm sure it would be a very nice conversation to explain to my little brother why you were in my room so early in the morning with no clothes on.”
Ah, yes. That happened.
Look, not many things left Julie speechless. But waking up with the biggest hangover she'd ever had only to find Luke fucking Patterson practically passed out and very naked next to her in bed did the job.
She didn't know whether to stand paralyzed, try to remember what had happened, or admire the man next to her. It was a view she had imagined many times over the years. But it didn't last long, because the lull was interrupted by Carlos knocking on the door insistently, which woke Luke up. Julie only had time to see the shock on his face before they both rushed to get into some clothes and she pushed him toward the window before Carlos opened the door.
“I can get used to almost falling out of your window. I'm fine without your brother or your father knowing what happened.” Luke frowned in confusion. “I don't even remember exactly what happened, to tell you the truth. Shouldn't we talk about this?”
It would be the smart thing to do. But Julie had a selfish desire to protect her heart. She might not remember the details of that night, but she didn't want to hear Luke say that it had been nothing.
“Say what? I mean, we got drunk and ended up having sex.” Luke seemed incredulous at her reassurance. Julie was too. “You know that alcohol makes my libido high and the last person I slept with was Nick, and that was over a year ago. It's no big deal.”
Julie was sure that she had only managed to sound so calm and uninterested because her hands were busy chopping ingredients. That gave her something to focus on.
“It's just not something I'm used to.” He shrugged, busying himself with putting the cookie dough on a tray. “Getting drunk, having sex with someone, and not remembering it the next morning. Especially considering it was you.”
What did he mean by that? Julie felt a little offended and heart aching at the prospect of rejection.
“I mean, you've been with Reggie and Alex. What's so different from hooking up with me?”
“Apart from all the difference in anatomy, I didn't have sex with Reg or Alex. And it was no big deal, either.”
“But you and Alex dated.”
“For, like, a month when we were fifteen. It was kind of an experience of sexuality", he explained. “And Reg and I only made out once, not long after. Also as a way of experimentation.”
“And I wasn't an experiment?” Luke looked at her alarmed as soon as the words left her mouth. “Like, congratulations, you made out with all your friends.”
“First of all that is not true. Flynn, Carrie, and Willie never came near my mouth.” He put the tray with the first batch of cookies in the oven, set the timer, and stood beside her. Julie met his stormy gray eyes that had a glint of hesitation in them. “And you know I'm not the kind of person who counts the people I made out with as if they were figurines, so why should it matter so much if I'd made out with my friends?”
“I don't know. Sometimes you wondered if it would be different.”
God, she sounded pathetic and insecure.
“I wouldn't do that, least of all as a drunken decision. And you wouldn't let me, either.” Luke looked like he was going to take her hand, but at the last minute decided not to complete the move. “Why are you so insistent on treating the fact that we slept together as if it were nothing?”
Julie took a deep breath and pushed down the small despair that began to rise in her chest. Luke was getting too close to the truth. She hadn't become an expert in hiding her feelings for him for so long only to have an alcohol-induced event expose everything.
“Luke, we don't remember. Maybe it was good, maybe not.” Which she doubted, considering how limp her body felt the next day, despite the unbearable headache. “My point is that it was something that happened because of how drunk we were. There's no point in making things awkward for something that didn't mean anything.”
“But what if it meant something?” From the delicate tone in his voice, Julie was sure she had been caught.
Her breath caught in her throat and tears threatened to well up in her eyes. What the fuck? The one time when she allowed herself to give in to the desire to have something more with Luke, with the push she needed being provided by alcohol, blew everything away. She was sure that one of the most precious relationships she had was now ruined.
But she was not ready for that. At least not right now. She could push the weirdness for one more day. Julie needed at least one last normal day.
And to have that, she pushed all the panic that was beginning to rise through her body and changed the topic.
“What about your new music? Anything I can help you with?”
Luke looked at her in silence and Julie's heart raced at the possibility that he could see the fear in her eyes. Or the extent of what she felt for him. But he took her hint and didn't insist.
“Well…” He leaned his forearm on the counter and slid closer to her. “There's one I've started to write. It's not finished, nor polished. I just kind of went with the flow and got kind of stuck.”
“Show me what you have. Maybe I can help you.” Julie abandoned what she was doing and focused her attention on the man.
“Okay.” Luke huffed and stiffened his body. “It goes like this.”
Your soft skin shine so bright
The moonlight would envy
Oh, my wicked beauty,
You knocked me out
So bad, I think it might be deadly
Luke's voice hit her instantly, dragging along with it all the accompanying reactions in Julie's body. He approached slowly, perhaps gauging her reaction, and brushed a finger along the length of her arm so lightly that it could have gone unnoticed. Perhaps it would have if it were anyone else; but with Luke Patterson, a powerful shiver ran down Julie's spine and she was breathless.
I may not know much
But my heart runs like hell when I look at you
In public, rockin' that silly overall
You don't fear much, and I tried the same
But that only made harder the fall
Luke rested his hand on the bare skin of her waist, revealed by the blue cropped. Julie squinted her eyes, overwhelmed by the weight of the skin-to-skin sensation and how close he was. His voice sounded so husky that, distantly, she thought of the sore throat he might have later.
She was surrendered. Her thoughts became pale and muffled at the performance in front of her. Luke was solid and warm, all muscle, telling her a story through verse. A story she was beginning to suspect.
Curly-haired, you conquered me
Nothing scared you away
Not even when I'm messy
Oh, my wicked beauty,
You were perfectly made
Then why do I feel so guilty
Luke tucked a rebellious curl behind her ear, and Julie felt the calluses scratch her cheek. Her breathing hung, and she tried not to make any movement, afraid it would break that moment that seemed so precious.
He lowered his head slowly and rested his forehead lightly against hers. Julie could almost see the crackling energy that appeared in the tiny space between their bodies. This close, she could distinguish the blue, green, and gray tones in his eyes and admire the small sunspots on his nose.
It all seemed like a dream, but Julie knew she had to say something.
“Guilty? Why?” she whispered, trying not to undo the bubble they had created.
“For being so in love with my best friend that it makes me lose track.” A broken sigh escaped Julie's lips at the declaration. “For being glad that I had at least one night with you, even if neither of us can remember it. For feel that I'm not worthy of all the attention you give me, but being too selfish to refuse it.”
Julie felt like a fish out of water, opening and closing her mouth without knowing what to say. Was this real? She could only be dreaming.
No, the weight of Luke's hand on her waist and the rubbing of his calluses against her neck were too true. No dream of hers had ever been so true to the color of his eyes, or the rubbing of his hair against her forehead.
“So…” he said, his voice a little shaky. “W... What do you think?”
Only then did it dawn on Julie that Luke was right there, so close, saying that he was in love with her. And she hadn't said anything.
Julie made her hands work again and slowly moved one hand up his chest to stop on his shoulder while the other dug into the fabric of his shirt. Luke seemed to take a deep breath, and the movement made his chest slump against hers. The smell of deodorant and the cologne she had given him for Christmas was intoxicating and enveloped her.
“I think you have a work with a lot of potential.” Julie was startled by how husky her voice sounded. “But if I may make a suggestion, I think you could change the last verse.” She guides the hand on his shoulder up to hold his sharp jaw. Her nose brushed against his one, two times, which provoked a sigh out of him. “I don't think it makes sense the part about feeling guilty when it's all mutual.”
Julie saw the exact moment when the information settled on Luke. His eyes widened and took on an excited, emotional gleam that she recognized from just before he came on stage. She saw firsthand the little wrinkles in the corner of his eyes appear as a result of the smile that split his face in half. Pure joy and relief lit up Luke's face.
She didn't know who made the first move, but the next thing she knew, Luke's lips were stuck to hers. They were soft, like a pillow stack, but also a little cracked because he was always biting them and never remembered to apply a lip moisturizer. It was exactly as Julie imagined it, and it was perfect.
Both her hands tangled in the brown hair at the nape of his neck and she gave an unconscious tug. This provoked a groan from Luke and seemed to be the trigger to intensify the innocent kiss. It wasn't exactly what she had planned, but she couldn't deny that she had enjoyed this unfolding.
Luke dipped his tongue into her mouth shyly at first, but the answering moan was enough for him to complete the action. One of his hands joined the other that was on her waist, and the next second Julie was sitting on the countertop. She parted her legs to make more room for Luke's body and, oh god, there was no room left between them.
Inevitably, Julie pulled away a little to take a breath. But Luke didn't seem to like the space created and occupied himself with distributing kisses down her neck. A small sigh came from her swollen, tingling lips at the sudden weight of his hand on her thigh covered by sweatpants. He was like a furnace.
Julie had the feeling that she was forgetting something, but the fog that covered her mind prevented her from remembering. A particularly harder hickey drew a groan from her and made her scratch the back of his neck. Julie slightly opened her eyes, gasping, only to find a wisp of smoke.
Oh, shit!
“Luke”, she called out, patting him on the shoulder, but no answer. “Luke!”
She shook his shoulder and that seemed to rouse him enough to disengage himself from her neck. His hair was pointing in all directions, his pupil had reduced the vibrant colors of his eyes to a thin rim, and his lips were puffy and red. The tone of his cheeks matched the one in his mouth, and his chest rose and fell as if he had just run five kilometers. He had never looked so handsome.
But Julie had time to catalog all these reactions later. They had more important matters to deal with now.
“The cookies!”
It was enough to make Luke's eyes widen with despair. He staggered away from her body and noticed the smoke that began to rise from the stove.
“Shit, shit, shit...", he cursed, hurrying to turn off the oven.
Julie tossed him a cloth and Luke took out the tray with burnt cookies.
“I had a feeling something was on fire", she joked, in an attempt to lighten the mood, and Luke's shoulders shook with laughter.
Julie held out her hand and he gladly accepted it, settling back into the space between her legs. An involuntary sigh escaped her mouth as the emptiness of having Luke away was filled again.
“Sorry about the cookies.”
“I mean, it wasn't all your fault.” She ran her hand through his hair, and Luke bowed his head, with closed eyes and a cocky smile. “And I can handle six fewer cookies. I have something sweeter now.”
Luke opened his eyes and Julie could quickly see his hunger and dilated pupil before he brought their lips together again. It was a dashing kiss and a little clumsy, but it was all she wanted.
“I... I think we'd better leave the food for later", he said breathlessly.
“I agree.”
Julie should have been suspicious of the cheeky glint in his eyes, but it came as a surprise when suddenly the countertop disappeared from under her. A scream came from her lips, followed by a laugh as Luke began to hurry down the familiar path with her in his arms.
God, she loved that idiot more than she thought possible. And now that she had him, she didn't plan to let him get away ever again.