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Dawn didn’t seem to be far away as the sun lit the sea with its bright colors. Law sighed, hearing the sound of indistinct conversations behind him. If he turned over, he would be certain to find almost as many men as there were five hours before, at the beginning of the night.
Strawhat just had to love parties, right? He was assuredly still out there: Law could distinctly hear his voice, alongside Zoro’s, Kid’s, and other members of their three crews. They were covering the noise of the sea in front of him and its undying waves, as if to tell him that despite the new era they had created, he still was bound to never touch it.
Now that Kaido was defeated and Big Mom was back on Whole Cake Island, Law had trouble believing that the alliance would stand still. Even his relationship with Eustass was not that certain. For all he knew, the captain of the Victoria Punk would take his bags and his crew, kiss him goodbye and he would never see him again.
Although experience had proved him wrong once: he believed that was what would have happened on the Sabaody archipelago, but here Kid was, having met him in Wano like he was supposed to do. Still, he didn’t find in himself the courage to believe in this.
Their relationship was anything but easy to read, so he had a little bit of trouble understanding how he was supposed to behave himself when the goodbyes would obviously happen. He at least knew for a fact how things were for him: first, he was a surgeon, and he had met enough hearts in his life to know that they only beat to pump blood and certainly not to fall in love. Secondly, he was the Surgeon of death, and that and the tattoos on his knuckles were enough to remind him of what awaited him at the end of the line.
Life was just a waiting room, after all, and distracting himself from his tasks was not how he planned to travel until his last appointment. Now that said tasks were done, things were different, obviously. But he was sure that if he dug deep enough, he could find other ideas of vengeance or need to overthrow whoever was on his way.
Point was, he certainly didn’t need love to distract himself from the fact that he was only a mortal.
And yet, Kid’s hands and Kid’s hips and Kid’s voice were always all over him, even when he himself was away. He had thought everything would stop after Sabaody, but Kid had welcomed him back with a smile he could never forget.
How did this man manage to be so true to everyone around him without getting himself killed? With his heart on his sleeve, he was more exposed that Law would ever be, despite the tattoo engraved in his chest. And yet, Law found himself always pleasantly surprised by the big smiles addressed to him and by the reddened cheeks matching hair that he would always find somewhat ridiculous.
— Yer all by yerself?
The voice startled him, and he saw him sit before he could answer anything. It was as if all his body had begged him to join him, but Law knew better: Kid could never understand what was not said to him.
He was far from stupid and knew a lot of stuff about mechanics and killing people that Law could never learn even if he wanted too, but he could be a little dense.
— Hey. You’re finished partying with Roronoa?
— Lemme tell ya, that man’s throat must burn like hell with everything he’s drinking.
Law snickered.
— You’re not better.
— ‘bably not, said Eustass, raising his shoulders.
They shared a look for the sea, dressed in the sky’s color and announcing the very morning. Behind them, conversations had finally faltered.
— Strawhat told us ‘bout Whole Cake Island.
Law raised his eyebrow.
— What about it?
The weird thing was, even if Kid did not know how to not say everything that came through his mind, there were times when he was incapable of formulating anything. Law noticed with growing curiosity that right now was one of those times.
— What? he pushed.
They were long past politeness and pretended lack of interest for each other, even if every time Law opened a door from his huge memory palace, he was still afraid of how Kid would look at him after.
It took him time, but the things he said never colored him in the eyes of the other men, and that was all he could have asked for. Not that he was waiting for anything, anyway.
Kid was surely trying to find a way to say goodbye – he was terrible at it: the few times they split ways, he ended up disappearing leaving a note stained by his greasy fingers, or he had just yelled an embarrassing goodbye from his deck.
Then Law heard his breathing, suddenly dry, and frowned.
— What is it ?
— Ya know about the cook ?
Law recollected his memory for a few seconds, then nodded.
— Yes. The stuff with his family? Why would Luffy tell you about that ?
Kid raised his shoulders and waved his hands, a gesture that he only ever had when he was frustrated. So, he really had something to say.
— ‘don’t know, that’s not the point.
— What is ?
— Would you just let me fucking finish, Trafalgar ?
Law raised his eyebrow again, not sure of what expression to adopt. Eustass was indeed bad at goodbyes, but not that embarrassed about it. Right now, he seemed like he was about to explode and Law himself could feel how sweaty his hands were, even though they were not touching.
Something stopped him from taking one of them into his.
— I’m listening.
— You know- he was like- forced to marry this girl.
— Right.
— Well, I was thinking- shit- what if it happens to you ?
Law was positive he did not hear that right.
— What ?
— Yeah.
So he did hear that right. His expression shifted, growing from genuine concern to complete incredulity.
— What the hell are you talking about, Eustass ?
— You know, said his whatever waving his hands, this kind of stuff can happen.
There were a lot of issues to be addressed there, but Law felt the frustration grow in his chest.
— Why would I personally be forced to marry anyone ? As far as I know, Sanji had his whole family against him. I do not have that.
— No, but like-
— You’re about to make it worse.
And Law was about to stand up, but the soft hand on his wrist stopped him.
— ‘listen, yer so up in yer head all the time that I don’t know how to be certain that you- I don’t know- care ?
Law blinked, at least twice. Leave it to a man wearing his heart on his sleeve to have no words to describe it.
— Care ? About ?
Law cared about a few things, right, but on his very specific and short list, nothing fell into a category that could possibly worry Kid.
Because yes, it was worry he could see behind his glowing eyes.
— Me.
The word hung in the air, and Law was not sure he heard it right. Was it not just the sea ? Was it not just a brush of air against the grass underneath them ? But Kid’s expression was no lie : he was red as the sun was a few minutes before and not even trying to hide it. His hand was sweaty again, but Law didn’t dare to move his.
He tended to forget that, because Eustass was prompt to say anything, he had difficulties understanding how others could not . They were once on a summer island when he had told him something along the lines of “how can you keep all that for yerself ? it’s just like money : yer taking ‘t to yer grave so, what diff’rence does it make if you share ‘t ?”
— I care.
Strangled words from a strangled throat. He must have seemed hurt, because Kid promptly said :
— I know.
— Then ?
— ‘just wanna make sure that the whole fucking world knows it too, y’know.
— How ?
— Marry me.
If Law had had a drink, he would have spat it all the way to North Blue.
— What ?
— Ye heard me.
— I did, and that is what concerns me.
— ‘s okay if you don’t wanna.
And he felt that it really was, with the way Eustass suddenly held tighter to his hand.
— But we’re captains.
— And ?
— How could we be seated under a label ? You aren’t even really in the alliance because you want to do everything on your own. Isn’t it a conflict of interest ?
— Fuck conflict of interest.
Law could not believe it. The man who bowed to none suddenly wanted to get married . He had to remind him of that, to remind him that he was not supposed to pay allegiance to anyone else other than himself :
— You bow to none.
— Marriage isn’t bowing.
— Isn’t it ? Wasn’t it, for the cook ?
— He had no choice. I do.
— So you choose to chain yourself to a partner ?
Kid frowned, but Law couldn’t possibly understand how he had had that idea.
— I’m not chaining myself to som’n, Law, or whatever. I choose to marry you so that I can have the world knowing we’re together.
— Why would you want something like that ? We’re pirates.
— And ? Are weddings forbidden for us ?
— Happy ones are.
Kid shook his head.
— Yer thinking ‘bout defeat again. Just fucking stop thinkin’ for once.
He wished he could, he wished he could but then he would just have to die because how come Eustass of all people wanted to marry him ? It made no sense, no sense at all. Love was a flick, a thing, and it was the curse of all. As a captain he could not promise anything to another man, and certainly not to another captain. Every relationship he had built on promises had ended badly, either by death or by betrayal, and he could never let that happen to this one.
Because, truth be fucking told, he cared. He cared so much it made his heart ache and his eyes close, because he knew exactly when it started, and he had no idea how to end it.
Because, against every belief, Eustass was a man worthy of everything on the earth. And because of that, how could Trafalgar even come close to half of what Kid wanted ?
— Yer still thinking.
— Yes, I fucking am, snapped Law. What the fuck, Kid ?
The other man just smiled, and Law shook his head.
— Would that mean my crew would have to follow yours ?
— Hell no. ‘don’t wanna follow you either, yer always doing weird shit like going after warlords and stuff. Ye don’t even want the One Piece.
And still, Law realized that he could not not be there when Eustass would find it.
— Yeah well, you’re always doing dangerous stuff.
— ‘point stands.
— How ?
— Like I would do dangerous shit for a while and then we could meet to do yer weird shits if ye need me and all.
Law rolled his eyes. And all .
— And what if you die ?
— What then ?
— I don’t know, what happens when someone you’re married to – he couldn’t bring himself to say the words – dies ?
— ‘don’t know, ‘never been married to anyone who died.
He had this roughness in his voice, the one that accompanied them when he said that he would become the Pirate King. As if, to him, Law was worthy enough to be addressed in the same way he shouted his dream. As if he was big enough to even stand amongst them.
— Why would you want to marry me ? he asked, so softly he doubted Kid heard it right.
After all, that’s all he had wanted to ask, since the beginning. How could a man with so little faith in everyone and everything but himself and the firm belief of a treasure big enough to crown him want to share something so intimate as vows ?
It wasn’t self-pity, it wasn’t lack of confidence. Law knew exactly what he was worth, and that was why, when his heart warmed the way it did as Eustass lay his eyes on him, it told him that this was bigger than him.
But what if. What if this world was meant to be sailed with love somewhere in the back of his mind ? After all, it would change nothing except maybe the way the Marine treated him : he would still smile when an article about Eustass would be published, still linger his eyes on the pictures and the wanted posters he could find, still think about him before going to sleep.
— Simple. I love you.
No scarred words, and Law held his breath to take in the punch. Eustass never said it. It was in everything : the way he touched, the way he smiled, the way he always seemed to incline his body in his direction. But he never said it, and especially never like that. It was soft , soft as the gaze he offered him every morning when they woke up side by side, in those moments where Law has never felt more loved but any other human being.
Because the intensity that Eustass “captain” Kid brought alongside with him was everywhere, and even in the way he fell in love.
So Law had just to crash into him, to crash back, because he too wanted to love him so deeply it would make his lungs scream. He too, did.
Eustass was the sea he could never swim into, so when he saw his smile bathed by the sun, as in those books he used to read when he was a kid, he let his heart open. He allowed himself to explode – to crash back.
He nodded.
— Okay, let’s get married.
— See ? grinned Eustass with all his pride. Wasn’t such a fucking big deal, was it ?
Law rolled his eyes, but let him kiss him still.
— Fuck you.
And he let him kiss him twice.