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Everything is still so surreal. It’s been nearly a week since Steve has admitted his feelings to Jonathan and tried to convince him that he was worth loving. Jonathan may not believe him yet, but Steve is working to change that one kiss at a time.
The relationship is new and shaky, like a newborn calf, but it’s still beautiful. Touches between the pair are fleeting but common, and Steve can’t get enough of his kisses. However, every time he sneaks a peck to Jonathan’s lips, the boy goes bright red and hides his face. But this only drives Steve on.
When they get moments alone, they often are quiet and low energy. It’s a little too new to be toyed with, and neither of them feels the need to rush things. This is one of those moments.
Steve and Jonathan are sitting in the back of the former’s car with the radio playing one of Jonathan’s mixtapes softly. They started out just sitting next to each other and talking about everything and nothing. Most of it has little importance. If one were to glance in, they might just think it was two friends chatting in a private place, but any lengthier look debunks that easily.
Without even realizing it, the boys scoot closer and closer. Their touches linger just a bit too long, and they share several soft gazes. They eventually end up pressed together, and the talking lessens, seeming unnecessary.
With slow, precise movements, Jonathan turns onto his side to face Steve. With a slight tremor, Jonathan reaches over and rests his hand on Steve’s stomach, keeping the touch feather-light. His eyes flick up to Steve for the other’s reaction, but the taller boy just smiles lazily and puts his own hand over Jonathan’s.
However, Steve only keeps his hand there for a few seconds before moving it to wrap around Jonathan’s lower back, pulling him even closer. The movements are more effortless and natural as Jonathan rests his head on Steve’s shoulder and fully grabs his hip, holding him around the stomach. Steve presses his lips to the top of Jonathan’s head before running his other hand through his soft, fluffy hair rhythmically.
Jonathan relaxes more against him, and Steve slightly frowns to himself. All of today, Jonathan has been off . He’s been distracted and kind of out of it in that way that lets Steve know he has something on his mind. Steve asked if he was alright, but Jonathan just said he was fine. Honestly, that’s a lot of the reason that Steve pressed them to come here in his car. But Jonathan still hasn’t said what’s bothering him.
Steve continues to hold and pet the boy for another song or two, but he has to ask eventually. He stills in his movements, bringing an almost inaudible whine out of the more petite boy. Steve’s chest is warm with his love for his cutie of a boyfriend. But back to business.
“Jonathan?” Steve starts softly, just whispering.
“Mm-hm?” Is the slow, sleepy response.
“What’s bothering you?” Jonathan noticeably tenses, “And before you say nothing, I know that’s a lie.” The shy boy sighs against his shoulder, and he waits a minute before answering.
“I was just wondering… are we going to keep this a secret?” Steve isn’t sure what he expected, but it wasn’t that.
“Well, kinda.” Steve shrugs, “You know what they do to people like us.” Jonathan maneuvers himself away to sit up and look into Steve’s face. He has a grimace on his face and a tiny glint in his eye.
“I know, but from everyone ?” Jonathan asks a little louder. Steve pauses.
“Nancy knows.”
“What about my family? They should know, shouldn’t they?” It’s Steve’s turn to tense up.
“No. It’s too risky,” Steve answers firmly, and Jonathan is miffed by this.
“But my family already loves you. What’s the point in hiding this and sneaking around?”
“You don’t know that!” Jonathan flinches back, being shocked into silence at the sudden outburst. Steve takes a shaky breath, guilt clawing at his heart. He wants nothing more than to soothe Jonathan physically, but he doesn’t know if he should.
“I’m sorry,” Steve says softly, “I-I know that your family is great, but what if they don’t like us . Sure, they might like me as a friend, but this is different.”
“Steve, they don’t care if we’re gay,” Jonathan says gently, reaching out to rest his hand on Steve’s shoulder. The older boy flinches at the word.
“That, uh, doesn’t surprise me, but still. With our… history, they may not be so accepting. And that’s not even mentioning my family.” Steve looks directly into Jonathan’s eyes. “I don’t want to lose you because we told the wrong people.”
Jonathan has to blink away the sudden wetness in his eyes, and he takes Steve’s hands in his own, squeezing gently. They both know about Steve’s family, so there’s no need to even entertain the notion of telling them.
“I’m not leaving that easily,” Jonathan promises.
“Even if they don’t like me?”
“I’ll just hide you under my bed.”
“Or in the closet. I’m very familiar with that.” They share a goofy grin, but it soon falls off of Steve’s face.
“Listen, Jonny,” Steve says, pleading with him, “I don’t think we should tell them just yet. We don’t even know what we’re going to be or if we’re going to last.” Jonathan moves back, his hand slipping off Steve, and the taller boy instantly regrets it, but it needs to be said. There’s a moment of quiet as Jonathan considers his words.
“...Okay, if you think so,” Jonathan eventually says. He looks away, staring out of the windshield. His eyes are full of emotion, and he seems like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t. He entirely moves away, so no part of him is touching Steve.
“Babe…” Steve tries, but Jonathan doesn’t look at him.
“I should be getting home.” Steve’s hit by an internal panic, but he doesn’t know what to do. He’s never known what to do when his partner is upset with him, and he’s not even sure why Jonathan isn’t happy. Should he press and try and make Jonathan spill? Should he just leave him alone? Should he do something entirely different?
“Okay. Whatever you want,” Steve says quietly, caringly. The safest option, Steve assumes, is to appease Jonathan and let him come to him. The last thing he wants to do is push Jonathan even further away.
The pair move to the front seats with an unusual air of awkwardness hanging around them. Steve drives slowly as he takes Jonathan home, minding running at light speed. Jonathan’s face remains primarily blank, but there’s the odd flicker of his gaze towards Steve.
As Steve pulls up the Byers family home, there’s a sense of dread hanging over him. A small voice in the back of his mind is shouting that Jonathan won’t come back once he gets out of the car, but Steve ignores it. However, he can’t quite let Jonathan go without a couple of words.
Steve parks his car, and Jonathan opens his door, but Steve speaks before he can fully get out.
“Jonathan?” The other boy finally meets his eyes again.
“What?”
“See you soon?” Steve doesn’t mean for it to sound like a question, but it does.
“Uh, yeah, of course,” Jonathan says, stumbling over his words. It’s not the enthusiastic response Steve hoped for, but it’s good enough.
“I love you.” Jonathan tries to hide his conflicted emotions, but Steve can see right through him. The boy gnaws on his lip, and his eyes widen a fraction.
“Uh… sure,” Jonathan mumbles, giving a slight wave before stepping out and closing the door behind him, leaving Steve to think.
Jonathan has yet to tell Steve he loves him, which is fine. Steve doesn’t want to pressure him into anything he’s not ready for. Steve has said it quite a few times, and Jonathan is always surprised. But he’s never acted so unsure about it, with him usually being bashful and blushy. Steve reminds himself not to jump to conclusions, but he can’t help but worry.
~~~
Steve can’t take it anymore. He hasn’t been able to sit down and talk with Jonathan about this, and the other boy doesn’t seem too eager to come forward himself. It’s been two days since their fight if it even counts as one, and Steve has had enough.
The few moments Steve has had with Jonathan in school have been fine. There’s no boiling anger or anything between them, but their interactions are a fraction icier and quieter. They never talk about anything important, sticking to safe general topics of school, their little brothers, or the weather.
Steve has given their conflict a lot of thought.
Jonathan does have a point that Joyce and Will aren’t like anyone else. If they were, they probably wouldn’t want anything to do with Steve in the first place. There’s a unique understanding between them all, and Steve revels in that safety. If they did know about him and Jonathan, it likely wouldn’t be the end of the world. Even if they weren’t 100% on board, they just wouldn’t react anywhere as bad as his own parents would.
Steve realizes that he is a bit of an idiot, not realizing that sooner. He shouldn’t be too surprised, but he’s going to make up for it.
~~~
“Are you okay, sweetie?” His mom’s voice rips Jonathan out of his own head. He had been mindlessly stirring the spaghetti pot in front of him for who knows how many minutes. He turns and finds her standing behind him, her eyes and face full of concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jonathan says, flashing a brief smile at Joyce. She’s not convinced, just seeming to analyze him more.
“Are you sure? You’ve been kind of down lately.” Jonathan barely holds back a sigh. She grabs his shoulder, squeezing it once.
“Yes, I’m sure. I’ve just been a little… stressed lately.” It’s a weak excuse, and he knows it. Joyce knows it too, but she doesn’t press, just stepping back.
“Alright,” Joyce says slowly. Jonathan knows that she will corner him later and interrogate him, so he might have to think of something for her. She steps out of the kitchen, likely to check on Will as Jonathan grabs the pot to bring it to the strainer waiting in the sink.
As Jonathan falls back into his mindless task, his mind drifts to where it always seems to. Steve . God, he still doesn’t know what to do about him.
Should he apologize? Maybe, but that might just push Steve away more than he already has. Perhaps he should just pretend that everything is normal. He’ll believe it after a while, and they don’t have to address the mess.
Jonathan is wholly lost, and he briefly wonders if he’s already done too much. He went off-script, and Steve is upset with him, and he couldn’t even say-
KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK
Jonathan nearly drops the little pot of tomato sauce as he jumps out of his skin.
“I’ll get it!” His mom yells, already running to their front door. Jonathan turns back to the food, mixing the noodles and sauce together as his heart rate slowly lowers. Who would come over at this time in the evening?
~~~
Joyce fixes her hair slightly as she opens the door. She expects Hopper with or without Eleven, honestly, but she’s surprised when she locks eyes with the well-dressed, extremely nervous Steve Harrington.
“Oh, hello, Steve,” Joyce says politely, “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Steve has been over many times, but there has always been a reason every time. Whether that be to pick up Will or hang out with Jonathan, she tends to be somewhat aware of their plans.
But she is perfectly fine with Steve dropping by. However, he’s not like this , typically. He is an ironed button-up and slacks, an upgrade from his everyday attire. He also has a few items. In one hand is a tote bag, and in the other, there seems to be… flowers? This is definitely not normal.
“Hey, Mrs. B!” Steve greets a little too loudly. “Can I come in?” Joyce hesitates for a fraction of a second, but she steps back with a slight grin, waving him in. Steve takes a deep breath, turning to her.
“I’m here to, uh, talk to Jonathan. Is this a bad time?” She shifts his weight, willing himself to stay still.
“No, this is fine. We’re about to have dinner. He’s in the kitchen.” She motions towards where Jonathan is, even though Steve doesn’t need any directions. Steve nods, primarily to himself.
Steve wanders slowly towards the kitchen with Joyce walking in before him. His breath catches as he finally sees Jonathan. The smaller boy is facing away from him, adding meatballs to the spaghetti pot as Joyce sits at the dinner table where Will is already waiting. The middle schooler waves at Steve when he sees him.
Sometimes, Jonathan’s beauty catches Steve off guard, and all he can do is stare. He’s a smattering of soft curves that Steve just wants to run his hands over at all points in the day. He wishes he could walk over and run his hands through that shaggy hair and wrap himself around the adorably smaller boy. Steve can’t get enough of how he can fully guard Jonathan against the world with his body, and it’s the best part of cuddling.
Steve steps into the kitchen, creating a small creek. Jonathan glances behind him before he slightly gasps and spins around. He sets down his stirring spoon and takes a step towards Steve.
“Hey, Jonny-boy,” Steve says with his signature smirk. Jonathan’s eyes flick across his being, bouncing from the flowers to his nice shirt to his eyes.
“H-Hey, Steve,” Jonathan says softly, “What are you doing here?” Steve clears his throat and steps closer. He sets down the bag in his hands and lifts the flowers. It’s now clear that it’s a bouquet of bright crimson roses.
“I’ve come to say something important,” Steve answers. Jonathan has a good idea of what Steve is doing, and he can’t help the smile threatening to split his face in half. They barely even notice the gentle gasp from Joyce and the wide-eyed stare from Will.
When he’s close enough, Steve takes one of Jonathan’s hands, bringing it up to his mouth and brushing his lips over the knuckles. He meets Jonathan’s eyes, silently asking if this is okay, and he gets a slight nod in response. Steve then passes the flowers to Jonathan, who glances down at the floor.
Jonathan expects that to be it, but it’s not. Steve steps into his space, and a light but solid pressure on his chin brings his head up to look into the open, loving, nervous face of Steve. The taller boy glances to his lips and moves in slowly.
Steve pauses briefly, allowing Jonathan the chance to pull away. But Jonathan only surges forward, kissing Steve sweetly and firmly. They haven’t had a kiss this good in days, and it’s insane how good such a simple action can feel on both ends.
A soft squeal brings the pair back into reality, and they turn to see Joyce sitting with her hands in front of her mouth, an unidentifiable look in her eyes. Will is frozen with his jaw hanging open, and no one says a word.
“Guys?” Jonathan asks, breaking the silence. This seems to break them out of their trance, with Joyce shooting up out of her seat and flying towards her son. Joyce wraps Jonathan in a tight bear hug, her face overflowing with joy.
“How long has this been going on? W-Why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend? Why haven’t you brought him sooner?” She assaults her son with questions, much to the amusement of everyone else.
“Calm down, mom, please,” Jonathan says softly, wiggling in her grip.
“We’ve been together for 8 days, Mrs. B,” Steve answers for Jonathan. She scoffs at him.
“That’s Joyce to you! I’m not having my son’s boyfriend call me anything else.” She pokes Steve’s chest as she talks. The taller boy laughs a little.
“Well, Joyce , I might have brought you a little something,” Steve says, reaching for his discarded bag. Jonathan glares at him.
“What did you get?” He asks Steve the same way someone talks to their dog that has something bad in their mouth. Steve shrugs.
“Nothing much. It’s just a little consolation for the family because you’re dating me .” Steve smirks at his boyfriend. He then reaches into his bag and fishes out a small box that he hands to Joyce.
“You didn’t have to do this, Steve!” Joyce says as she takes the box.
“I know, but I wanted to.”
Joyce deftly lifts the lid and gasps when she sees a beautiful gold necklace with a small rose pendant hanging from it.
“Oh, Steve, this is beautiful!” Joyce exclaims, pulling Steve into a warm and powerful hug, squeezing him tight. The boy is thrown off and frozen at first, not used to such affection from a parental figure. He hugs her back quickly before his eyes drift to Will, who is nearly buzzing with excitement.
“Don’t think I forgot about you, little Byers!” Steve exclaims, prying himself away from the little woman clinging to him. Steve reaches into his bag and pulls out two plastic containers, which he hands to Will.
The boy takes a good look at them, and he realizes that they are two sets of dice. The first set is 6 pieces set of 6 sided dice that are deep, shiny black with tiny fake diamonds in for the dots. The second set is a matching pair of 20 sided dice with a marble pattern with swirls of a vibrant sky blue and deep and rich lavender, and the numbers are shiny bronze. It’s clear that these aren’t any standard dice.
“Thanks, Steve!” Will says, standing abruptly.
“I trust you to take care of them over the other brats,” Steve remarks, ruffling Will’s hair, making the boy giggle.
“You’re also supposed to be nice to me as your future brother-in-law.” Will disappears into the hallways to put the dice away before anyone else can respond. Jonathan goes red, and Steve lets out a good belly laugh.
“I love that kid,” Steve says softly, throwing an arm around Jonathan’s waist.
“Are you staying for dinner, Steve?” Joyce asks as Will reappears.
“I-If it’s not too much trouble,” Steve responds with uncharacteristic shyness.
“You’re always welcome here.”
The 4 of them sit at the table together, with Steve and Jonathan being almost pressed together. The pair are holding hands for most of the meal. It seems like they blink, and it’s been hours, and Steve has to go. With a heavy heart, Steve starts to wander to the door.
“Wait,” a soft voice that could make him kill if it told him to pipes up behind him. A moment later, a gentle grasp enwraps his wrist. The hand on him is warm and calloused, being a little scratchy. Steve maneuvers his hand to intertwine his fingers with Jonathan’s as he turns around.
Jonathan’s face is slightly flushed, but he’s not backing away or hiding it. He stares up into Steve’s eyes with a soft, pleading gaze. Steve takes a step forward, pulled on by the invisible teether that seems to connect the two of them. After a few days of distance, being this close and open is addictive, and there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Steve asks, making Jonathan go even pinker, but he still doesn’t hide. His eyes only briefly flick away from Steve’s.
“Are you leaving?” Jonathan’s voice is careful and heavy, reminding Steve of a kid whining when told they have to go home and leave their friend. It’s incredible how much this boy can do to him with so few words. His face is pathetic, and it tugs on his heartstrings.
“I’m trying,” Steve says with a resigned sigh. He sounds more like someone walking into the jaws of death rather than going back to his empty home to see Jonathan tomorrow. The more petite boy huffs out a laugh, taking a step closer. Jonathan is now entirely in Steve’s space.
“Not too hard, I hope. That would make me very sad.” Jonathan stares up at Steve with big puppy eyes and a slight frown as if silently begging him to stay. Steve knows he should get home, figuring that Joyce wouldn’t be too happy about him staying over. But how exactly is he supposed to leave if it makes his sweetheart sad? He longs to hold and caress the boy, but then he’d never go.
“Can you stay, please?” Jonathan whispers, being only inches away.
“But your mom-” Steve is cut off by my Jonathan kissing him firmly. The smaller boy taking the initiative is so rare that Steve can’t help but kiss him back just as firmly. Steve’s free arm loops around Jonathan’s midback, pulling him even closer as Jonathan’s hands rest on his chest. When they split, they rest their foreheads together, simply gazing into each other’s eyes.
“She doesn’t care. Please stay.” Jonathan licks his lips a little, trying to work past the embarrassment of his following statement. “I need you.” Steve’s breath catches. He’s never heard such a wonderful statement, and his body lights up.
Jonathan’s cheeks light up at Steve’s reaction, but it’s true. He’s missed the other boy so much in the past few days. He can’t let him get away right now.
“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll stay,” Steve says with a grin, kissing Jonathan again.
The pair slowly migrate to Jonathan’s room. Where they just lay on the bed together, existing together. There is little talking, but that only lasts so long. As great as this night has been, they still have to address what happened a few days ago, but neither is sure where to start.
“Thank you,” Jonathan eventually says, his head on Steve’s shoulder.
“For what?” Steve asks, squeezing the boy’s hand.
“This. Coming out to them.”
“Of course. I realized I had to.” Steve can feel Jonathan turn to look at him.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, I realized that it was silly of me to be scared of Joyce or Will or what they’d think. I should’ve known they would be okay with this.” Steve leans over to kiss Jonathan’s hair.
“It’s okay,” Jonathan says softly. “I-I know that you don’t exactly have the most tolerant people around you. It makes sense why you’d be hesitant.”
“Thanks for understanding,” Steve says, meaning every word. “But… why were you upset? I don’t understand.” Jonathan tenses, but Steve just increases his hold on the boy.
“It’s stupid….” Jonathan responds after a moment.
“No, it’s not. Not if it really upsets you.” Steve’s sincerity causes Jonathan to pause, swallowing the sudden lump in his throat.
“I just… When you said that you didn’t know if this would last, I thought that… you didn’t think this would work. Or that you didn’t think it was worth it to tell them because you didn’t want us to last.” As he talks, Jonathan’s words become thicker and shakier, a tear slipping out.
“I-I’m sorry,” Jonathan says with a hiccup, “I know I should trust you, and I-I shouldn’t have doubted you-” Jonathan is cut off from his weepy rambling as he’s pulled into a tight hug by Steve, his face pressing into Steve’s neck.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay, Jonny,” Steve soothes, unable to take anymore. “I love you so much, and I want us for as long as you’ll have me. The short time we’ve been together have been the happiest days I’ve had in a long time.” Steve begins to pet Jonathan’s hair like they both love before continuing.
“And I don’t expect you to trust everything I say, and I hope you don’t. I can say some stupid things, and I can make mistakes. Thinking about what I’m saying is good.” Steve swallows, and his voice cracks a little on his next word, “But, I hope you can trust me enough to talk to me. We’re in this together, and I need to know if something’s bothering you no matter how stupid you might think it is.”
“I’m sorry,” Jonathan says with a sniffle, “I should’ve said something, but I was worried I would just annoy you, and you really wouldn’t want to be with me.”
“Oh, baby, no,” Steve whispers, hugging Jonathan even tighter. “I always want you to talk to me. I don’t care about what or when. I just want you to be happy.” Jonathan is overcome by a new wave of tears brought on by the sheer love and admiration for the taller boy in his arms. Steve pulls back a little to look into Jonathan’s face with concern, wiping away his tears.
“Jonathan?” Steve says softly, holding his face.
“I love you. I love you so much.”
Steve is shocked into silence as the weight of those words hits him. Jonathan’s love is a rare and precious commodity, and few are able to truly earn it. Like the ambrosia from the greek gods, few can experience Jonathan’s divine love, and Steve himself is near tears.
“I love you too.” Steve seals his words with a loving kiss.
Steve and Jonathan both decide that kissing is much more worth their time than talking. There’s little thinking required as their mouths move against each other, and it leaves them both floating on air. Hands begin to roam as their kisses get a little heated.
They haven’t really gotten to this point before. The kisses they have shared before this point have stayed chaste, but this goes further. Steve’s tongue lightly teases Jonathan’s lip, and the smaller boy opens his lips just a little after a few moments. A slight whimper comes from Jonathan as their kiss deepens even more.
Steve’s hands drift down to Jonathan’s sides, grasping at soft flesh over his shirt. Jonathan shivers, and Steve’s hands continue to move lower. They come to rest on Jonathan’s hips. Steve sticks his thumbs under the hem of Jonathan’s shirt, and the more petite boy starts to squirm, but Steve continues moving.
When Steve slips another finger onto Jonathan’s bare skin, the shy boy gasps, pulling away and reaching down to grab Steve’s wrists in a panicked, iron grip.
“Steve, stop!” Jonathan exclaims, and a sense of guilt washes over Steve.
“I’m sorry. I should have asked first,” Steve apologizes, removing his hands and placing them high on Jonathan’s sides when he is released from the boy’s grip. Jonathan looks away, his face bright red.
“Hey, it’s okay that you’re not ready,” Steve says softly, reading the boy perfectly. “We’ll go at our own pace, and we’ll take the next step only when you’re ready.”
“But what about you?” Jonathan asks.
“Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself, and I don’t want to do anything if you’re not completely on board. I’ll wait as long as you need.” Steve kisses Jonathan on the forehead, and the smaller boy isn’t sure how he got to be this lucky.
“Can we cuddle instead?” Jonathan asks with a small smile.
“Of course.” Steve pulls Jonathan totally into his arms and grabs the blanket to drape over them. He starts to pet Jonathan’s hair, and the boy turns to jelly against him.
It’s crazy how just a few days can really change someone’s life and how an added relationship can make everything so much better. Who knows what could be in store for them?