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15 years since she walked out on him. 14 years since she had filed for divorce. 13 years since she fought for custody of her kids. 12 years since she had quit the band. 11 years since she had moved to Paris to avoid seeing him in her hometown. 10 years since she had begun to avoid speaking of him. 5 years since she had received an on-time check for child support.
And 1 minute since she had seen him last.
She pressed her back against the closed door, trying to process what just happened. Anarka liked her life with a heavy dose of rebellion and chaos, but this was unreal. The father of her children just showed up to apologize? After FIF-FUCKING-TEEN years? There was no way he was serious.
Still, she had to know.
Flinging the door open, she looked him dead in the eyes. “Are you serious?” she asked. He took a step back, raising his hands in a futile effort to defend himself. After a moment of silence, she folded her arms. “ Well? ” she asked. “Oh, I thought you were going to punch me or continue ranting. Uh, yes then, I am serious. I really think it would be nice if they could, y’know, have two parents in their life!” he shrugged.
“Whatever happened to ‘my guitar is my only family’?” she snapped. She hated to be mad at him. She wanted to be furious, but she had been wishing for this to happen for years. She wasn’t sure if she wanted Jagged ever back in her life. But she wanted her kids to have two parents, even if they weren’t even kids anymore.
When he didn’t respond, she rolled her eyes. “You’re free to do whatever you want on this ship. It is the Liberty after all. Just don’t ruin things like you usually do.”
Closing the door again, she tried to think of what to do. The kids weren’t even home . If he realized that, he’d try to talk to her, and she had no clue what to say. Be mean? Be nice? She had so many years to think about this, had made so many speeches, had pretend arguments in her head. She should know what to do. This was the one thing she planned for.
The door opened out from behind her. “They aren’t here, are they?” he asked. “Nope. Try never again.” She placed her hand on her hip, trying to summon confidence to take control of the rivalry.
“What about trying with you?” he asked, a mischievous smile on his face. It reminded her of when they were young. When they were 17 and buck wild and only cared about each other.
But… It was clear he was making the effort. And she knew she wouldn’t let him remotely near her kids until he was on decent footing with her.
“Fine. Breakfast tomorrow at 9. Right here, and don’t be late,” she commanded. It was her ship, and she was the captain. “Rule follower, eh? Whatever. I’ll see ya then,” he said.
Heaving as she set the table down, she wondered why she was even bothering. Perhaps it was the teenager in her wanting her old husband back, perhaps it was the mother in her wanting her kids to live a normal life.
Kicking her feet up on the edge of the table, she wondered if he would be on time. He never seemed to be, so maybe he would prove himself today. Or maybe he wouldn’t.
“Let’s cut to the chase,” Jagged said, strolling in at 9 o’clock sharp. “Go ahead,” she said, lowering her legs.
“I know you hate me. And, yeah, valid as hell! I was a shit boyfriend and a shit dad! But really, I want a second chance. With you, with them! Just reconsider… Please.” Jagged never said please, ever . That’s how you knew he was serious.
She looked at him, trying her best to hold a poker face. “Anyway, since when has your hair been gray?” he asked, totally ruining the moment. “Since I raised two kids on my own. What’s your excuse?” she smirked.
“Ha. Ha. Very funny. My hair isn’t gray, it’s purple,” he argued. “I read somewhere that purple hides gray the best. Just something to think about,” she teased.
“First, you about letting me back in your life, Anarka,” he replied.
It took a little bit of marriage counseling and a lot of arguing over petty disagreements to realize that they didn’t need to love each other like they used to.
They could be friends. They had so many things in common after all. Like hating rules and authority. And they both loved Juleka and Luka.
Fang had taken a liking to her as well. Of course… he caused a little too much chaos around the ship, but that just meant that her kids could finally learn how to clean a little. They would need it in college…
College. It was something looming a little closer than she’d like. She knew Jagged wished he had been involved before now, and she wished she had invited him back in to her life sooner.
Holding an old picture made her tear up. Seeing her kids so young and so happy… Seeing Jagged happy with them too… It made her regret everything. It made her regret leaving, divorcing, taking her kids away from their father.
“Anarka?”
She shoved the picture away from her, trying to hide her emotional reaction. It was just a picture.
“I can tell what you’re thinking. ‘Oh, I feel so terrible for leaving Jagged,’ or something like that. Just don’t forget that we both hated each other back then,” he sat down next to her.
“Maybe,” she replied, closing her eyes. The world around her was harmonizing. The jingle of Jagged’s accessories, the lapping of the waves, the echoes of her past…
She leaned her head on Jagged’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she breathed, holding back tears of regret.
She expected him to either say something dumb, or to say nothing at all. He never seemed to know what to do when she did this.
“Anarka… I’m sorry too.”
She glanced up at him for a moment to check if he was sincere. The look on his face almost made her wish he wasn’t.
“Well… Let’s not be sorry anymore. Let’s just… Be happy,” she said, a bittersweet smile on her face.
“Be happy… Together.”