Chapter Text
Tw: Grooming, rape, panic attack, dissociation, vomiting, depersonalization, derealization
Note: This is truly a vent fic, don't say shit about it please. Also fucking mafiaish au because it's nice I guess
It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair.
IT WASN'T FUCKING FAIR
Tommy didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve the pain he was feeling and he didn't deserve the hurting in his heart.
But here he was, sobbing his heart out over a stupid fucking post he saw on twitter.
It wasn't like he was even looking for the post, it popped up on his feed because someone quote tweeted it and Tommy followed the person who did. The original tweet being short and simple
"We're engaged!"
And it had Tommy spiraling. And when he spiraled, he spiraled hard. So to kick off this decent down the hill of shit, he was breaking down on the bathroom follow in a place he didn't belong.
Well no, he belonged here but he just didn't feel like he did. He didn't feel like he should be here. It was too nice, too homey, too welcoming. And he knew if he explained what had him upset that he would be consoled and comforted.
But he didn't want that, well he did but he didn't. He felt like he didn't deserve the happiness, because the person who made the original post took that away from him. He took that and so much more away from Tommy.
And Tommy wanted to die because of him.
There was no true reason why Tommy was staying alive anyway. His life was shit, despite the fact that he was trying to make it better out of spite of the man who hurt him so deeply. But it wasn't working out, he worked a dead end job, didn't have family who cared for him, lived in a shit apartment and didn't have friends.
Well no, he had Wilbur and Wilbur's family, but it was more like Wilbur thought of him as a charity case and Tommy let him for a while, just because Tommy thought it was nice to have someone around in his life.
In fact he was crying on Wilbur's bathroom floor. He was in Wilbur's house (mansion) and he just went to use the bathroom. Then his phone pinged and now here he was.
"Tommy?" A voice asked softly through the door, but Tommy just sobbed more. He didn't want anyone to see him like this, despite them obviously hearing how upset he was. "Are you alright?" The voice asked but Tommy didn't respond beyond more sobs.
"What's happening?" A new voice spoke.
"I dunno, doors locked and sounds like he's crying." The first voice responded. The second voice said something else and there was loud footsteps. Tommy tried to ignore it, block everything out as he began to choke on his own spit. He found it hard to breathe and suddenly he was gagging.
He hunched over the toilet to let out the contents of his lunch as the door was suddenly unlocked. Tommy heard many footsteps and suddenly someone was rubbing his back. This was a horrible idea.
"NO NO NO NO NO NO STOP DON'T TOUCH" Tommy screamed, flinching away from the person. The person took their hand back but Tommy was now shaking, before he continued to vomit into the toilet.
"What's happening?" Another voice joined in the mix.
"Look at his phone?" Someone suggested and Tommy felt his phone leave his side where he had placed it down.
"Wil, do you know what any of this means?" A voice asked and Tommy felt someone behind him move, so it was Wilbur who had touched his back.
"That's- oh shit. Toms." Wilbur cooed softly behind Tommy as Tommy leaned back. He looked at the people in the bathroom, it was Wilbur, his father and brother, Phil and Techno. Wilbur had his phone in his hands as he stared at Tommy.
"Wilby." Tommy sobbed as he continued to shake and cry. Wilbur opened his arms and Tommy was quick to crawl into Wilbur's lap.
Up until this point it was quite obvious that Tommy was touch starved but terrified of touch. Wilbur never forced it but opened his arms for hugs and such, letting Tommy decide if that's what he wanted. And when Tommy did Wilbur was nothing but gentle and kind.
Tommy told himself not to get too attached in case Wilbur decided to ditch him like the others have.
But in this moment he let himself be as attached as he wanted. Wilbur knew the person's name, Tommy having confessed all about what happened years ago to Wilbur one night as Wilbur walked Tommy home after a long shift at work. Wilbur didn't like Tommy walking alone but Tommy refused to take rides.
Tommy was now curled in Wilbur's lap, arms wrapped around his neck as he sobbed into his shirt. Wilbur didn't seem to care that his shirt was now being covered in snot, tears and drool. Tommy couldn't bring himself to care, despite the fact that Wilbur's shirt probably cost more than his whole apartment did.
"Toms I'm so sorry." Wilbur said softly as he pulled Tommy in tighter. "Can I tell them what happened and what's got you upset sunshine?" Wilbur asked and Tommy nodded, not caring anymore.
"What happened?" Techno asked swiftly and Wilbur took a deep breath before sighing, the rise and fall of his chest making Tommy try and curl into him more.
"The person on the phone, who announced their engagement, well he- he raped Tommy a few years ago after grooming him for months." Wilbur explained softly and he was glad Tommy couldn't see the anger on their faces in this moment, it might have made the boy more terrified.
"What." Phil growls out, Wilbur locked eyes with his father.
"He fucking groomed Tommy, took care of him when others didn't, promised Tommy so much, then he raped him. And he's a fucking bastard for it too, fucking groomed other people when he was grooming Tommy. 4 fucking people at the same god damn time." Wilbur growls as he brings Tommy closer.
Tommy hearing these words from Wilbur started to panic at the feeling of hands on his body. He wanted them off and he wanted them off now.
He forced himself out of Wilbur's arms, feeling claustrophobic in them. He pushed himself against the bath tub quickly as he shook even harder now.
"Toms?" Wilbur asked but Tommy stuck his head between his knees.
"I'm going to fucking kill the bastard that did this to him." Techno growls, snatching the phone that laid beside Wilbur. Techno looked at the account that had posted the announcement and grabbed his own phone out of his pocket. He took a photo with his phone and looked up at Phil.
"You can use whatever you want." Phil said quickly, understanding that his son was going to ask about people he could use to help him.
"I'm out for blood now." Techno hisses as he stands up and leaves the bathroom, leaving Wilbur, Phil and Tommy in there.
Tommy doesn't remember much else after that. He doesn't remember calming down, or going out of the bathroom. Doesn't remember laying in bed or falling asleep.
He just remembers feeling like he was floating.
His brain felt like he was floating in the ocean, and he would get closer and closer to shore, just to have the waves take him back out to sea.
The moments he would get close he felt like he could hear Wilbur's voice, talking to others. Talking about someone, maybe talking about Tommy? He could never fully bring himself to understand the deep meaning of it. Wilbur's voice became a loose anchor that he couldn't fully hold.
"I'm just so fucking worried. He hasn't gotten out of bed, he haven't fucking moved. He doesn't even blink all that much. He stares off at the same fucking spot and then he falls asleep. He hasn't eaten or drank anything in two days." Wilbur's voice broke through the water filling Tommy's ears.
"Wil, I know. I've been here the whole time. But we can't do anything about this. Tommy needs to want to come back, we can't do anything." Another voice, Phil's maybe, seemed quieter but was still there.
"I can't just fucking sit here and watch him be so fucking dead." Wilbur's voice sounded panicked, worried maybe.
Tommy lets the waves take him back out to sea. Let's himself be covered in so much water that he felt like maybe he would start drowning. Drowning would probably be better than what's at shore.
The next time he dared to get close he felt like he was watching himself from an outside perspective, like it was some dream.
He was sitting at the table, Techno, Wilbur and Phil all there, watching him.
"Come on Tommy, it's your favorite. Pasta shells with sauce and cheese." Wilbur smiled, pushing the bowl towards Tommy. Tommy just continued to stare at the wall on the other side of the dining table.
"Mate it's not going to work." Phil's voice spoke softly and Tommy heard someone sob. Maybe it was Techno, maybe it was Wilbur. It was hard to tell.
"I just want him to be okay." That was Wilbur's voice, and Tommy tries for a moment to attach himself to it, to bring himself back to his body, but he doesn't have the strength.
"We all do. But we can't do anything Wilbur, you know this." That was Techno's voice. That was the deep tone that half the time scared Tommy, the other half bringing comfort. He wasn't sure what half it was right now.
"I can't keep letting him be like this!" Wilbur's voice was louder, he was screaming. Suddenly the bowl was across the room and the wall was painted with pasta. Tommy didn't flinch. He wanted to get away from the shore again.
"Come on Tommy, let's just get you back to bed yeah?" That was Phil's voice, and instead of being an anchor like Wilbur's, it was a floaty that let him drift back out into the ocean.
The next time Tommy got near the shore he was in bed again. He was sat up in bed, criss cross as Techno sat in front of him, some sort of bowl in his hands.
Tommy didn't feel like he was watching his body from the outside anymore, but still felt like he was floating inside his own head.
Techno dipped a spoon into the bowl before bringing up to Tommy's mouth. Tommy accepted it, not understanding what he was even letting into his body. He just knew he trusted Techno enough to take care of him.
"Come on kid, come back to us." Techno said softly.
Tommy just closed his eyes so he could float again.
When he finally stepped out of the water, finally let himself step onto shore he was tired. His body felt weak and his brain felt tired.
But he was still in bed, in Wilbur's arms as Wilbur hugged him while crying.
"Wil?" Tommy asked softly, his throat hurting from lack of use. Wilbur looked up at him and more tears flooded his eyes.
"Sunshine?" Wilbur asked softly and Tommy blinked as he nodded softly. "Oh shit Tommy. I was so worried, I thought you were mentally gone forever. I thought you would never be the Tommy I knew ever again. Oh shit Tommy." Wilbur ranted, pulling Tommy closer.
Tommy tried to think about what happened, why Wilbur would think that. All that came to mind was the god awful news he found out, and suddenly he was hurting again.
"Wil I don't want him to be engaged and him to be happy. He doesn't deserve happy." Tommy starts sobbing and Wilbur holds him tightly.
"I know sunshine, we won't let him be. He doesn't deserve it."