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"Spider-Man's real name is Peter Parker!"
J. Jonah Jameson's words dropped like a bomb and blew up everyone's mind. A roar on the pavement brought Peter back to MJ, only to be welcomed with flashing lights and garbled questions.
"Are you really Peter Parker?"
"Did you kill Mysterio?"
"You're just like Ironman and a fucking piece of shit!"
"Wow! Hey," Peter frowned (at least, beneath his mask) at the guy who slammed him and Tony Stark at the same time. "Don't you think it's too far? Ironman gave his life—"
"Is now really the best time?" MJ slapped Peter on the back and reminded him to go! He grabbed her and swung from one high-rise to another, but where could they swing to? It's New York, his face was on every single screen in the city. Wherever they go, they were met with the same curses and snapshots. People of all ages, genders, and ethnicities took out their phones and shoved them at his face as if programmed. There's no escape in the age of media. You're everywhere, seen by everyone.
"Wait, stop!" MJ squeezed Peter's arm and forced them to land on a rooftop. “I can't do this. I think I'm going to vomit if we keep swinging."
"Sorry, but my home is just a few blocks away, you'll have to—"
"You're going home?" MJ stared at him in disbelief. As if he had just said something stupid. Maybe he did.
"...Yes?"
"And draw the attention to your aunt?"
"...Oh, right." He said something stupid, yep. "I can't go home. And I shouldn't take you with me, because they're going atter me, not you. I should just run far away and—"
"Peter, look," MJ interrupted him once again. "Think about it, you have all those friends in the Avengers. Can any of them help? Like, Wanda Maximoff?"
"I barely knew — oh!" An idea timely popped up in Peter's head. "You're so clever! I'll be right back!"
A couple of minutes later, Peter found himself in the Greenwich Village and snuck into 177A Bleecker Street. To his misfortune, there was not a soul in the New York Sanctum, nor a shadow, nor a sound.
Except for the intermittent wailing slipping out from a corner room upstairs.
"Umm..." Peter hesitated for a moment before forcing himself to knock at the door. "This isn't going to end well," he thought, but MJ was still waiting for him on the rooftop. He had to.
The door wasn't locked. He peeked through the crack and, not even in his wildest dream would he ever imagine seeing—
"Doctor Strange?" Peter pushed the door open and let himself in. The strange doctor himself was curled up on a bed sobbing, which would be an image carved onto Peter's mind forever.
"...Are you okay?"
"Parker." Doctor Strange straightened his face at an inhuman speed and looked all serious and mighty again. "Do you have any idea how impolite it is to enter without knocking?"
"I did knock, you didn't hear me."
"I meant the sanctum door!"
"Oh. I'm very sorry—"
"Never mind." Strange pulled out a magic halo from his hands and threw it at Peter's directions. "You will forget about what you saw anyway."
"What? Wait, you could erase people's memories?"
"I'll erase this bit too."
"Wait, no, sir!" Peter jumped out from the magic halo and started running from Strange's pursuit. "I promise I won't tell anyone about it, but I need your help!"
"I'm busy."
"You didn't seem busy — sorry!" Peter said as he landed onto the first floor and evaded the cloak's capture. "But I meant it, sir! I wouldn't have come here if I knew any other way! If you don't help me, my life will be ruined forever!"
"Don't tell me about your life being ruined!" Strange sounded more exasperated than when they were fighting Thanos, which made Peter wonder if he should just let the good doctor lash out for a bit. "You haven't had the slightest idea about what it's like to lose everything!"
"I have! Haven't you checked the news?"
At last, Peter raised an argument Strange could not counter. "What news?" asked the Doctor. Peter breathed a sigh of relief as Strange seemed to have regained some senses.
"It's all over on TV. I thought you must've seen it."
"I can't afford cable," said Strange. Peter was struck with immense guilt upon hearing this.
"Oh. Sorry. I mean, I should've known. I can't afford cable either."
A moment of awkward silence fell between the two.
"Peter."
"Yes?"
"I was joking."
"Oh. I wasn't."
" I know. Sorry."
"So..." Peter managed a friendly smile and convinced himself that this would actually work. "Do you want to talk?"
"Yeah, that sucks," Strange gave Peter a sympathetic nod after hearing his story. "I'm sorry for being insensitive."
"I must apologize too for..." Peter carefully considered the word to use next. "The intrusion." Luckily, Strange didn't seem to mind him mentioning it this time.
"Appreciated. How would you like me to help?"
"I was thinking if you could reverse time—"
"No." Strange answered way too fast and crushed his last bit of hope into tiny pieces. "It's not that I don't want to help, Peter, but I don't have the time stone anymore."
"Then how about you erase everyone's memory of me?"
The awkward silence made its triumphant return. Peter heard his heart screeching as he waited for Strange's response.
"So?"
"That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard."
"What? But you just tried to erase my memory!"
"Yes, but we're talking about billions of lives now! I'm sorry, Peter. I wish I could help, but there's no going back. You have to face it. Consider it the tragic consequence of being a hero."
The young man lay down his head in frustration. Strange must have thought that he accepted this fate. Like an uncle, he came to Peter and patted his shoulder to show sympathy, only to be greeted by an unexpected question.
"How's your day?"
"What?"
"Do you want to talk about it?" Peter asked in all seriousness. He could tell that Strange was confused, but he insisted. "You said I don't understand what it's like to have my life ruined. Sounds like you do. Are you okay?"
"I—" Strange found himself speechless, which gave Peter another opportunity to push in.
"I'm your friend, Stephen. Is it okay if I call you Stephen? If there's anything that you're dealing with, anything that I can help, I want to help. Even if you can't help me. Can I help you?"
"You..." Strange struggled to form a sentence now. "You're just trying to guilt me into helping you."
"No," Peter said calmly. "I'm just trying to help a friend."
This finally knocked down Strange's barrier and made his face wrinkle. Peter could tell that he's trying to hold back a tear. "That's... very nice of you, Peter, but what troubles me is beyond your power."
"Try me, I may know a way or two."
"I'm sure you don't," Strange sighed, but Peter wouldn't give up.
"I could be stronger than you thought."
"The love of my life is getting married to someone else."
Peter opened his mouth but found himself unable to say anything constructive. "O...kay" were the first syllables coming out from his throat, which was embarrassing, because he realized that Strange was right. He couldn't help, and now the doctor looked like he was on the verge of crying again.
"Man, I'm so sorry to hear that. You must feel awful." Peter gave Strange a hug of comfort, to which Strange didn't resist.
"Your problem sounds worse," said the doctor, trying to be empathetic but failing because his voice was too shaky to be consoling.
"Yeah, no, if MJ gets married to someone else, I would be despaired too."
"Exactly!" Strange exclaimed and withdrew himself from the hug. He looked justifiably angry, which startled Peter a little because it wasn't a reaction he expected.
"Umm, what?"
"I knew you'd understand, Peter. Imagine your MJ dumping you and marrying a woman named Gwen Stacy? Not that I'm homophobic in anyway, but Christine — she never told me that she's bisexual, and now all of a sudden she's met a woman and fell madly in love with her? All while I was dead? Who the hell would find their true love in a colleague's son's boyfriend's mom? Sorry. I wasn't trying to be biphobic and I have nothing against single moms. It's just... it happened way too fast for me, you know? When we were fighting Thanos, I was thinking if we could survive this, I'd try to make it work with her, but she never gave me the chance! She didn't wait! Okay, I admit it wouldn't be fair to ask her to—"
"Wait, wait!" That was... a hell lot of information and Peter definitely missed most of Strange's babbling. "Who's Gwen Stacy? Why does that sound weirdly specific?"
"Ah," Strange put on an insidious smile. "Remember when I saw 14,000,605 possible futures back on Titan? Well, in 12,973 of them she marries a girl named Gwen Stacy, and in 4,971 of them she marries Felicia Hardy, and in—"
"No, wait, I thought you only watched our fight with Thanos!"
"Well, I took some liberty," Strange shrugged and looked smug now that Peter could truly understand his pain. Which just made Peter's day worse.
"In those futures..." Peter tried to process this shocking news carefully. Not that he's homophobic in any way, of course. If MJ found her happiness with someone else, he'd only be happy for her.
"Am I dead?"
"Some of them, yes. In others..." Strange paused and returned to his normal, mysterious self. "You were... with someone else."
"Who?"
"I can't tell you. I've told you too much already. "
Yeah, now he's fully back to that arrogant, I-know-better personality. Guess a mental breakdown was the only way to make him overshare. Peter should be happy that, at his own expense, he managed to cheer Strange up. Except... no.
"Please, Stephen, you already told me about MJ's. I deserve to know mine too."
"No, Peter, trust me, you would only regret it if you knew." He grimaced, and then lowered his voice. "Between you and me, I haven't been able to look at Wong in the eye ever since I saw a future where he and I became romantically involved."
"Oh." Peter's brain tried to picture it for a second, but then decided not to. "No, please, at least give me a hint! I want to—"
To do what? Avoid them? Grasp his chance? He wasn't sure yet, but he felt like he should know. So should MJ. It's only fair that they both know about potential competitors, right? He'd tell her as soon as he returned.
"Fine, but the only clue you're gonna get is..." Strange dragged his voice intentionally to keep the suspense and be annoying.
"You'd better get fire insurance."
"What?" This only raised more questions in Peter's head. "What does that mean? I'm going to marry an arsonist? Someone's gonna commit arson against me and my partner? My partner has an ex who's an arsonist?"
"You'll see when the time comes," Strange smiled. He hauled Peter to the door and insisted on seeing him out. "For now, you would want to cherish your days with MJ. And face the trial. Won't be fun, but you'll make it."
"You've seen it?" Peter caught a chance to steer the conversation back. Right, he wasn't here to talk about possible futures, he's here to ask for help.
"Hmm?"
"That l'll make it. Did you see it in the 14,000,605 futures? Did I make it in all of them? What happened in the ones I didn't? Hang on! Is there any future where you figured out how to help me?"
That's it! He should've thought of it faster! If there's a future where they win against Thanos...
"There must be one where someone can help me! There has to be a way for me to be Spider-Man without everyone knowing my name! Please, Stephen, is there?"
"Well, umm..." Strange wasn't cruel enough to say no, but he wasn't ready to say yes either. "Maybe. But you're years too early. The only person I know who can rewrite all of reality without any consequences is still a child and—"
The weird doctor raised his eyebrows up high and gaped at Peter as if he had just witnessed some cosmic horror... or the birth of a very brilliant idea!
"Yes?"
"Congratulations, Peter Parker! You just saved yourself!" Strange declared cheerfully. "I know exactly how to help you without endangering the multiverse!"
"Great," Peter grinned, even though unconvinced. "What do we do?"
"Oh, you don't have to do anything. Just one thing, though. Never admit to anyone that you're Spider-Man."
I hate wizards.
Thought Peter Parker. Dozens of patrol cars surrounded Peter before he even made it out of Greenwich Village. "Peter Parker, hands in the air!" shouted the cops, but they were the ones armed and pointing guns at him.
"Hey guys, I think there's been some misunderstanding," said Peter, raising his hands and trying to be your friendly neighborhood Not-Spider-Man. "You probably think I'm Spider-Man," he smiled, but none of the police officers did, which was a bad sign. "Well. I'm not! And I didn't kill Mysterio."
"Yeah, tell that to the judge," said one of the cops. Peter had honestly started to regret this. He should never have listened to Doctor Strange! What a genius idea the wizard had? Get rid of your suit, walk out of here casually as if you're just some perfectly normal and innocent teenager, and don't ever use your power. Not even when being aimed at by loaded guns, perhaps?
"Why don't you put down the guns and we can talk like civilized individuals?" Peter suggested, but it's never a good idea to reason with cops.
"Why don't you come over here and have your hands cuffed?"
"Okay." Fair, right? Strange only said 'never admit you're Spider-Man', not 'never get arrested'. Pretty sure he can chill in jail while Strange magically solved everything, right?
Never!
Peter made a run into the closest alley once the police were distracted by his fake surrender. He couldn't swing, but he could still run, hopefully fast enough to where the sirens couldn't follow.
"Stop right there, Spider-Man!"
"I'm not Spider-Man!"
"Then why are you running?"
"Because you're chasing!"
The view down here looked drastically different from the view up there. Peter could easily find himself an exit if he could just climb walls and jump into a building nearby, but he couldn't! Maybe it was all a mistake. Maybe he should never have gone to Doctor Strange and wasted all those hours explaining. Maybe he should've hijacked a Quinjet from S.H.I.E.L.D. and smuggled himself out of the USA! And where's MJ? Is she okay? Is Aunt May okay? What about Ned? He should've taken them with him! Or no. He should've taken all the blame so that they could go on to have a normal life. It's all his fault—
Oh crap. The Goddesses of Fate must hate him today because Peter just made a turn to a dead end. Two paths now lay in front of him. Either he climbed out of here and lost the tail but also announced to the rest of the world that yes, Peter Parker is 100% Spider-Man. All the nonsense you saw on the Daily Bugle is absolutely real too.
Or... Peter turned to the cops and found that they had multiplied in number with even deadlier guns in hand. "Wow. Bit too serious, don't you think?" He tried to ease things up, but only made the police more intense.
"Hands in the air!" An officer demanded and slowly approached him. Hey! Peter realized. He's not scared of them, but they're scared of him!
"Alright, guys, please." Peter glanced at the brown, solid stone wall behind him. Well, it's now or never.
"Don't make me do this," he said. Meant as pleading but must've sounded like a threat. The cops froze and Peter swore that he could see the fright in their eyes.
"What's that supposed to mean?" A cop asked, alarmed.
"Umm...." Don't make me climb the wall, he meant, but no way he's saying that.
"The drones! He meant the drones!" One of the cops shouted and sent a wave of terror through the crowd. "He's got the drones targeted onto us and ready to fire!"
"Wait! I don't mean the drones!"
"He definitely meant the drones!"
"There're no drones!" Peter tried to explain, but his voice was obscured by the cops panicking.
"Target has lethal weapons! Repeat, target has lethal weapons!"
"I don't—"
"Permission to shoot!"
"What? Don't shoot!"
This is it. To hell with Doctor Strange, he's climbing—
"Wow, NYPD firing at an unarmed child? Thought you wouldn't be this low," said a strangely familiar but also new voice. The next thing Peter knew, a red figure landed in front of him and completely shielded him from the cops, all while smoothly webbing up the guns and yanking them to Peter's side.
"You okay, kid?" The stranger turned to Peter, which was kinda creepy because they were wearing the exact face he saw when he looked into the mirror every morning.
The mask, he meant. 'Face' would be really creepy.
"Spider-Man?" The cops voiced out Peter's confusion for him. "What the hell? There're two Spider-Men?"
"There aren't," answered the 'Spider-Man' before Peter could say anything. "I'm the only Spider-Man."
"But he's Spider-Man," said a cop, staring at Peter in suspicion. They're having doubts!
"Hmm... no? Are you Spider-Man?" asked the 'Spider-Man'. Peter shook his head immediately.
"No, I'm just Peter Parker."
"Nice to meet you, Peter Parker."
"You too... Spider-Man."
"See? Case solved," said the 'Spider-Man' with an audible grin. "He's Peter Parker. I'm Spider-Man. Can we all go home now?"
"Hey, no. We all saw the clip," said a cop who had the courage to step forward. "Peter Parker is Spider-Man."
"Yeah... because the news never lies," sighed the 'Spider-Man'. "I mean, maybe today, Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Tomorrow... you're Spider-Man."
'Spider-Man' webbed up the officer's badge and pulled it over before the police could react. "Could you be Spider-Man, Detective..." he glanced at the badge. "Davis?"
"Give it back!" demanded Detective Davis. 'Spider-Man' swiftly returned the badge and stuck it onto the detective's chest.
"Look, officers. I know you're trying to do your job, but you know what I don't appreciate? You startled a child and even threatened to kill him over some unverified fake news!" said the 'Spider-Man' while patting Peter's back in consolation. All Peter had to do was to keep nodding. "That's not acceptable. If he got harmed—"
"Clones."
Two of the cops apparently wasn't listening to the speech and exchanged a whisper loud enough that everyone could hear. "He's a clone. Stark definitely kept clones."
"Seriously? Clones?" Peter could tell that even the 'Spider-Man' was frustrated. Welcome to his world! "How desperate are you that you'd rather believe in clones than doubt your phones?"
"If you're not a clone, unmask yourself," said another cop. Damn. 'Spider-Man' better not be Doctor Strange or—
"Why, so that you can come and bother me in private? I'm seeing someone, you know. He wouldn't like that."
Wait, what did he just—
"Prove that you're not Peter Parker," the cops insisted. Which was a rather bizarre thing to say when Peter Parker himself was standing right there.
"...Fine."
To Peter's surprise, 'Spider-Man' gave in. "This is for you, Peter. You guys have to promise that you won't go after him again."
'Spider-Man' removed their mask and revealed a young face. It was a man... a boy in his late teens or early 20s, not much older than Peter. Except for their age, though, they were nothing alike. The boy had shiny blonde hair and bright azure eyes, with a typical athletic physique and a brave, confident smile.
"I hope this clears up all the questions," said the boy softly, and in a different voice. Only then did Peter realize why he thought his previous voice sounded oddly familiar. It was somewhat similar to Peter's voice, but also different enough to pass as someone who's 'Spider-Man but not Peter Parker'.
"Your sound..."
"Different? Yes, because there's a voice changer in my mask," the boy fiddled with his mask while he answered. "I mean, anyone wishing to keep a secret identity will use a voice changer, right?"
"Right," Peter heard himself agreeing. Yeah, how come he only used it once? And he had an AI suit!
"Can we go? I think Peter's family would be worried about him," said the 'Spider-Man' compassionately. "And I need to go home to my—"
"He can go, but not you," said the cops. "Spider-Man who's not named Peter Parker, you're under arrest for the murder of Mysterio."
"Aw, come on, man. Haven't we agreed that it's all fake news?" Peter's sense of justice wouldn't let him live on with this 'Spider-Man' taking all the hits for him.
"Keep your mouth shut, Peter Parker, or you'll be arrested for being his accomplice," threatened the cops. Peter wanted to argue, but 'Spider-Man' stopped him and replied with inconceivable serenity.
"But I didn't kill him, detectives."
"Tell that on the court."
"I mean it. I would never hurt him," he said sincerely. "I love him."
What a sick joke?
Peter thought. The cops were perhaps thinking the same thing. "Fucking hell, he's deranged," said one of the cops, which earned them a frown from 'Spider-man'.
"That was so mean," he said, followed by another voice from above.
"And homophobic."
Peter looked up and felt like he's just been stabbed in the back. His Spider-Sense didn't tingle, but he'd never forget that look. High up in the sky, a man in golden costume emerged from the smoke. A sudden strong wind brought his cape fluttering, but did not alter his course. The smaragdine glow in his hands dimmed, but the rage in Peter's heart did not.
No, Peter. This isn't real. It's just an illusion.
Mysterio is dead.
Peter reminded himself as he watched the fishbowl head land next to 'Spider-Man'. He should stop glaring, but he couldn't.
"Let's not forget that homosexuality was destigmatized merely 34 years ago. Is this how you treat your heroes?" said 'Mysterio'. The glass globe disappeared, under which was a young man of similar age to 'Spider-Man'.
"You okay, hon?" asked 'Mysterio'. He rested his hands on 'Spider-Man's' cheeks and had their foreheads touched. 'Spider-Man' smiled and grabbed 'Mysterio's' waist, leaning in for an almost kiss.
'Almost' because a cop interrupted them before their lips touched.
"Mysterio?" said the cop, though they weren't sure of what they were saying. "But you're not Quentin Beck?"
"No," said 'Mysterio' while looking slightly annoyed. "Because Quentin Beck is an actor hired by the Daily Bugle to frame my husband."
"...Husband?"
"Yes, husband."
'Mysterio' returned to his husband's arms and kissed his man passionately.
"What the f—" Peter gasped as this scene made him weirdly uncomfortable. Maybe it'd have been better had they been out of those costumes.
"Being homophobic in 2024, Peter Parker?" said Detective Davis in a disapproving tone.
"What?" Peter was puzzled for a moment and then realized that he said 'what the fuck' out loud. "Oh no, I meant, umm. 'What the fuck they're so cute together and so in love! Never knew our world-saving heroes are such a lovely couple!' Yeah."
He laughed awkwardly, but fortunately 'Spider-Man' helped him out. "Thank you, Peter Parker. That's very nice of you."
"So you're saying Spider-Man is not Peter Parker and Mysterio is alive? Everything is just an elaborate lie?" asked the cops once the pair stopped smooching. "Why would anyone bother to fake all that?"
"Why indeed, detectives?" said 'Mysterio'. "Why has our world yet to meet a gay superhero? Do they not exist, or are they buried?"
"What are you implying?"
"Takes a tremendous amount of hate for someone to wish a gay superhero dead and his partner the murderer, don't you think?" said 'Spider-Man'. "I'm afraid not everyone got the memo about not being homophobic in 2024, Detective Davis."
"You're saying J. Jonah Jameson did this because he's... homophobic?"
"We're not making any claims, and shouldn't it be your job to investigate and press charges?"
Smoke rose from the ground and soon blurred the sight. "We'll be waiting for your good news!" said 'Mysterio' before he disappeared amidst the cops' objections. Within seconds, ashes became starry lights and faded. The solid stone wall blocking Peter's way was gone and replaced by... the Washington Square Arch?
"How did we get—" Peter asked, only to be stunned at the sight of 'Spider-Man' and 'Mysterio' transforming their costumes into plain shirts, each in their own ways.
They looked years younger, too.
"Spider-Man! It's such an honor to—" the boy pretending to be Mysterio screamed in excitement. He was nudged by his blonde friend and lowered his voice immediately.
"Billy!"
"Sorry. It's such an honor to meet you, Spider — Peter Parker! Teddy and I are both huge fans of yours and you're our fourth favorite Avenger!"
"...Fourth?"
"Yeah, and we never believed Mysterio for a second!" the boy named Teddy added. "We knew you were framed and Doctor Strange told us everything! Oh my god it was so cool back there! Do you think they bought it? I hope I did a convincing impersonation of yours but I wasn't sure. I wanted to do a flip but I've never practiced and I was so scared of messing up—"
"Babe, you did great." Billy squeezed Teddy's hand to give his friend — boyfriend some comfort. "I really like your speech about how everyone could've been Spider-Man! It's the most Spider-Man thing ever and like, the whole point of him! It could be anyone under the mask and not just Peter Parker or his clones."
"I had no idea how they came up with the clone thing."
"Yeah, if the Avengers had clones, they'd still be—"
"Guys, guys!" Peter wasn't sure if his fanboys still remembered that Spider-Man, a.k.a. Peter Parker himself was standing right there all while they were caught up in heated discussions. "Teddy and Billy, right? Umm, first, thank you so much for your help back there."
"Don't mention it! It's our honor to fight with you!" Teddy said eagerly and Billy was nodding attentively too.
"And you!" Peter said. He meant it, but he also got questions. Tons of questions. At the top of the list? 'Where were the two of you when we were fighting Thanos?'
Yeah, no. He's not gonna ask that.
"Teddy. You've got spider powers? I didn't know anyone else had those." Peter glanced at Teddy's wrists and confirmed: no web-shooters. They came with the costume?
"Ummm... no?" Teddy smiled awkwardly and showed Peter his... suddenly very green and pointy fingers. And his huge, scary monster hand. "I'm a shapeshifter."
"Like the Hulk, but he can change into anything," Billy added. "Including lamps."
"I'm not turning into lamps."
"You'd be a beautiful one."
"Billy's a witch. A real one," Teddy changed the topic. "Like Wanda Maximoff, not Mysterio."
"I'm nowhere as good as her though," Billy said and showed Peter some blue sparkles in his palm.
"Not yet," Teddy amended for him, which brought Billy to smirk and press a kiss on his cheek.
"Oh, and we're really dating, just not married yet," Billy said with a faint blush. "But we will."
"We will," Teddy echoed. "When we're old enough."
Which reminded Peter of the second question. "Wait, how old are you kids?"
"We're not kids! We're 16 already," Billy stressed.
"Younger than me!"
"But Doctor Strange said you were only 15 when you became Spider-Man," Teddy said.
Okay, next question. "Right, Doctor Strange! He sent you here, yes? I need to thank him too."
"Yes! And you'd never believe what happened!"
"You'd never believe what happened," Billy said. He was sitting on his bed, holding his knees and looking at his boyfriend, who was lying next to him. "Do you remember those recurring dreams I told you about?"
"Westview?" Teddy asked. He reached for Billy's hands and put one of them in his. Billy nodded.
"I had another last night."
"Which one is it this time?"
"Different," Billy said. He looked away and tried to remember. "Mom and — I meant, Wanda and Vision weren't home. It's just me and Tommy playing video games."
"So the glitching one," Teddy pointed out, but Billy disagreed.
"No. It's new. We weren't ten anymore. I was me. This me." Billy pressed into Teddy's hand and looked slightly disturbed. "I could feel everything. It felt... as real as now."
"Wow."
"Yeah. Somehow, I knew it was off because I remembered you, and you weren't there. That's when I heard a knock."
"Me?" Teddy asked. Billy smiled but shook his head.
"I wish."
"Agatha Harkness?"
"No. Well, Tommy thought it was her too, but, umm. The aura was different. It's like I could see it, but not with eyes."
"That's so cool!"
"Yeah, and I told Tommy to be careful because I couldn't recognize their magic. But you know Tommy. He never had the patience to listen, so he opened the door before I could stop him."
"Who is it?"
"You'll never believe it," Billy said and looked excited again. "It was Doctor Strange!"
Teddy widened his eyes and sat up when he heard this. He stared at Billy in amazement, while Billy continued. "And he said, 'I need your help, Billy.'"
"Umm... Billy?"
"Yeah?"
Teddy's expression looked kinda weird. It was only then when Billy realized that Teddy wasn't looking at him, but at... something behind him.
Like, the window? Which was the only thing behind him?
Billy followed Teddy's line of sight and saw none other than Doctor Strange himself levitating outside the Kaplans' house.
"Is this the part where he asks for your help?" Teddy said.
"In fact, I might need both of your help," smiled Doctor Strange.
"That was so cool! Doctor Strange saw the future and knew you could help me, and you saw him coming. You're like a precog, Billy!" Peter said keenly. "Wow, he's a shapeshifter, you're a witch. I wish my powers were as cool as yours."
"No, you're Spider-Man! You're super cool! You're like, the hero every kid wants to meet!" Teddy said, hopefully not just to comfort. "I've dreamed of meeting you since I was eight!"
Wow. Okay. Now he felt old.
"Thanks, but it's not as cool as meeting Doctor Strange," Peter admitted. "I know I'd remember it for a lifetime if Doctor Strange just showed up outside my house and asked for my help. That's the dopest way to meet a superhero!"
"Oh! Umm," Teddy and Billy quickly exchanged a look. "I actually know him from before."
"You know Doctor Strange?"
"Yeah. He's going to be the best man at my mom's wedding, so I've met him a few times."
Wait. "Who finds their true love in a colleague's son's boyfriend's mom...?"
"Sorry?"
"Your parents are co-workers with... Christine?" Peter looked at a confused Billy and stated his deduction.
"...Yes, they work in the same hospital. How did you know?"
"Because, umm, Doctor Strange has actually told me about... you guys! Sorry. I just didn't connect the dots earlier."
"What did he say?" Teddy asked eagerly. Peter's not going to let the kids down, obviously.
"He said you're both talented youngsters and he could see you two becoming the next generation of Avengers!" Which was what he'd want to hear at their age, right? Peter knew the answer was yes when he saw the boys' eyes light up.
"Really? We can join the Avengers?"
"Of course! I'll, you know, talk to Hulk or Captain America and put in a few good words for you."
"You're the best!" Teddy said with joy and shook Peter's hand firmly. Billy grabbed his boyfriend's arm and reminded, "We should get the costumes ready! And codenames!"
"Oh yes! Umm... Do you have any idea yet?" Teddy's attention switched back to Billy, which gave Peter an opportunity to slip away.
"I'll leave you to it," Peter said to the boys deep in thought. "See you at the next big fight!"
He waved them goodbye, but stayed around for a bit and watched from a distance to make sure that they'd be okay. He felt like a big brother now, even though he was only one year older. Perhaps one day when there does come a kid with spider powers, he'd know how to guide them and show them a less thorny path.
Would it be a good idea? Only time will tell.
"I like Asgardian, " said Billy. "I've always wanted to be Asgardian but Mom doesn't even let me visit Norway."
"But you're not Asgardian. Not that they would mind, but it'll be confusing. And..." Teddy gave Billy a you-know-it look. Billy sighed. "Then what do you think?"
"How about 'The Scarlet Wizard'?" Teddy proposed. "It makes sense. You're her son and it can be a family thing."
"...No, I'm still a Kaplan," Billy pouted. "And red isn't even my color."
"The Sapphire Wizard? Cerulean Wizard? Just 'The Wizard'?"
"Are you going to be 'The Hulk Boy'?" Billy shot back.
"No, they're going to think I'm his son."
"They're going to think that either way, Tee."
"I was thinking about Chimera," Teddy said and waited anxiously for Billy's response. Billy quietly considered for a moment and then stared into his boyfriend's eyes.
"Hmm. Not bad."
"You don't like it."
"I didn't say that!"
"You didn't say you like it either."
"...We still have time." Billy gave up at last. "Maybe we should work on the costumes first. Do you think I should have wings? Like Thor's! But instead of a helmet, I'd use—"
The boys walked away holding hands and finally reached far enough that Peter couldn't hear. He found himself grinning and, for the first time in the last few hours, relieved and genuinely happy. Somehow, the world's attention on him had died down, and the future was in good hands. Maybe this is going to end well after all.
Oh right, MJ! Peter took out his phone and wanted to call her, only to find thousands of new messages from Ned, MJ, Aunt May, Happy, and basically everyone he knew. The newest one came from Ned and read:
Dude, what's happening???
Attached was a screenshot of a post featuring a picture of... Teddy as Spider-Man and Billy as Mysterio kissing, as well as half of Peter's shocked face. The caption read, 'Not even the queerest shit I've seen this year.'
This is definitely not going to end well.
On the first day of the new school year, Peter stood before the school TV and watched an interview with J. Jonah Jameson, who was forced to temporarily resign from the now reformed Daily Bugle for the alleged murder of Quentin Back and libel against Spider-Man.
Spider-Man: Homicidal or Homosexual?
"That's not even a good pun," Peter grumbled. J. Jonah Jameson's face appeared on screen as the title card vanished. Subtitles revealed his interviewer to be Kat Farrell, who was, ironically, now a senior reporter at the Daily Bugle.
"Mr. Jameson, do you stand by everything you said in the clip titled 'EXCLUSIVE Spider-Man Unmasked Full Story Credit The Daily Bugle J. Jonah Jameson'?"
"Peter Parker is Spider-Man," said J. Jonah Jameson.
Peter's face twitched a little, but Farrell's unswayed look told him that he's got nothing to worry about.
"Anyone can see it! I know none of you actually buy that gay Spider-Man nonsense! You're trying to get revenge on me because I didn't give you a raise!" J. Jonah Jameson pointed at Farrell, who ignored his accusations and continued her question.
"Rufus Lawson has already admitted to being Spider-Man—"
"Rufus Lawson doesn't even exist! He's an actor! So is his so-called husband!" J. Jonah Jameson yelled. " Peter Parker hired them to frame me!"
Okay. Peter conceded. Maybe J. Jonah Jameson did have a point.
"Evidence suggested that you hired Quentin Beck—"
"I don't even know Quentin Beck!" J. Jonah Jameson slammed at the table. "How is this not the most obvious lie ever told? No one with a right-thinking mind will ever name their child 'William Williams'!"
"But your name is John Jonah Jameson Jr.?"
"Peter, check this out!" Ned tapped at Peter and passed him a newspaper, also from the Daily Bugle.
Spider-Man & Mysterio: A Romance For The Ages
Below the title was the photo of Teddy and Billy kissing taken by the cops. They didn't even have the good grace to crop Peter out.
Bugle reporter Kat Farrell sat down with your favorite super couple Rufus and William Williams-Lawson (a.k.a Spider-Man and Mysterio) for a deep dive into their heroic origins and marvelous love story!
A Hero's Journey
Born to the Lawson household, Rudolph "Rufus" Williams-Lawson is the grandson of the legendary Dr. Wendy Lawson of the U.S. Air Force. "Grandma was close with Captain Marvel, so I was basically listening to her stories growing up," said Rufus. "Every kid in the family wanted to become someone like her."
However, his plan to follow Captain Marvel's footsteps got disrupted when he woke up one day and discovered sphincters (he called "web-shooters") growing on his wrists. "I still don't know how it happened," he said. "Mom says it's in my DNA."
"She meant mutation," William added. "Probably the same for me."
William Williams-Lawson, the (illegitimate) son of the notorious Hollywood playboy Simon Williams, found his powers much later in life. "I've been fascinated about the stage, but not because of Dad." His relationship with Simon was understandably strained, and at the time this interview was printed, the Daily Bugle has yet to receive any comments from Simon Williams.
"I took his last name, but I didn't want to be recognized as his son," said William.
"You also have my last name now," Rufus reminded.
"Yeah, maybe I should go by William Lawson instead," William joked. "No, I like musicals. I like movies. I like watching people being amazed at your work. I like stories."
He would have grown up to be an actor or a special effects artist, had his dream never come true in the most literal sense. "I'm a magician, but honestly? I could have done anything with this," he meant his powers. "I'm here only because of him."
Love At First Sight
"I've been watching Spider-Man since the start," said William. "He's one of the Avengers, but he isn't like any of them. He's more like us. Like me. Through him... I saw who I could become."
"You'd become a hero no matter what," said Rufus.
"Well, I prefer being one with you," William smiled.
Rufus wasn't wrong. William gained his powers after the Blip, and he's been trying to figure out how he could help ever since. "I noticed the attacks in Mexico and traced them to Venice," he looked at Rufus. "Turns out, he did too."
"After Ironman's death, the Avengers pretty much disbanded. I thought I was alone again, but I wasn't," Rufus recalled. "The first day we met, he saved my life."
"It was a fated union. We defeated the Elementals together, and in private, we discovered how similar we were."
"We're the same age, we're both Avengers fans, we have superpowers..."
"And we're gay," laughed William. "Really! There aren't a lot of gay superheroes out there."
"We hit it off. It was crazy. I still can't believe that we had our first kiss when we were soaked."
Spider-Man and Mysterio (in civilian clothes) sharing their first kiss in the background of a tourist's selfie with the destroyed Santa Maria Formosa Bell Tower (pictured)
"I knew it wasn't a heat-of-the-battle thing. We fought side by side, as if we had known each other for a lifetime. I was certain that I'd want to do this for the rest of my life. With him."
"We followed the Elementals to London. It was scary. All of them came together this time, and we didn't know if we could make it. So I just turned to him and said, if we live through this..."
"And I said," Rufus picked up the story from William. "Why wait?"
"I asked the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. if they could find us a rabbi, and they did! They brought us suits, rings, and kippot, and even helped us set up a chuppah!"
Rufus and William sharing their first kiss as husbands on the London Bridge while being cheered by the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. and a group of blissfully ignorant tourists (pictured). Crowd shouted 'Mazel Tov' as the newlyweds squashed a wine glass.
"It was a magical day. I'll remember it forever," said William. "No thanks to J. Jonah Jameson."
Framed By J. Jonah Jameson
"He knew about it. I don't know how, but I guess you guys have your way," said Williams. Your reporter had to clarify to our superheroes that it was all J. Jonah Jameson's doing. The rest of us had absolutely no idea about his smear campaign and was definitely not involved in any way. Your dedicated reporter has also done her work and can now reliably inform you that Quentin Beck was a nameless actor from Hollywood. He was jealous of Simon Williams's success, even went on to claim that Williams was "a thief" and he would "make him pay".
"I wouldn't be surprised at all if Beck wanted to get revenge by ruining Williams's life," an insider told us. "He couldn't touch Simon, so he found a breach in William, but the boy was stronger than he thought."
We cannot disclose details of the investigation out of confidentiality concerns, but Detective Jones, who is currently working on this case, has revealed to us that Beck and Jameson knew each other due to "common interests".
"It's terrible," said Rufus. "I don't understand why he hated us so much that he'd turn our wedding into a murder."
"It's 2024. We've seen aliens, wizards, killer robots. Half the universe was dead and brought back to life. Some of you even believed in the multiverse," said William. "But we can't have gay superheroes? I hate this. People would rather die than stop being homophobic."
"What's worse was, we weren't the only ones affected. He dragged an innocent teenager into this mess too." Rufus was referring to Peter Parker, the kid who was falsely declared to be Spider-Man by J. Jonah Jameson. "I've never met Peter before that day, but I knew something was off because his last name was Parker."
Peter is the nephew of May Parker, who runs the homeless shelter supported by Spider-Man. "I knew May because my Mom was the real estate agent who found her a house after the Blip. May told my Mom about her idea of housing people displaced by the Blip, and my Mom said to me, 'Why don't you help her out?'"
"I didn't know this would get them into trouble," Rufus sighed. "J. Jonah Jameson didn't know who I was, so he targeted the family I was publicly associated with. It wasn't fair."
"It wasn't your fault either," William reminded.
"No, but that's when I knew I must stand out."
Young Avengers
"I couldn't let Peter take all the shots for me, so I talked with Willy about going public, and he said, 'What if we come out altogether?'"
"The world needs gay superheroes," said William. "If J. Jonah Jameson wants to bury us, then we're going to be loud and proud."
"If the Avengers had any gay superhero before, I would've felt more at ease about coming out," admitted Rufus. "I want to give the LGBT+ kids around the world courage."
Does it mean that they're officially Avengers now? "I don't know, most of them are off-planet or retired," Rufus shrugged. "But I still have Willy. So maybe it's just the two of us. As, you know, Young Avengers or something."
"Forever," William laughed. "That's our deal now."
There you go, true believers! Find yourself a love as tender as Spider-Man and Mysterio's!
"I think I'm going to throw up," Peter said when he finished the last sentence. Sweet story, but could they please NOT use 'Spider-Man' and 'Mysterio'?
"You're homophobic," said Flash Thompson who happened to pass by.
"No!" Peter explained in a rush. "I meant, umm, I'm going to throw up and cry because I can never find myself a love as tender as Rufus and William's? I'll never have what they have."
"Damn right, loser. Spider-Man is strong and charming and kind and you'll never be him!"
"You're strong and charming and kind too," said Ned after Flash walked away.
"Thanks, mate!"
"The fake — the real Spider-Man is kinda hot though," Ned continued. Peter looked at him suspiciously
"You mean I'm not hot?"
"No! Yes! I mean, you're hot, but not in the way he is."
"What does that mean?"
"Peter, don't you think he's hot?"
"What—"
"Peter!" said Mr. Harrington as he came to Peter with a Spider-Man-themed album in his hand. "Could you please ask your aunt to have Spider-Man sign on this? It's a very precious collection of mine and I would really appreciate it. Oh, and tell him I'm a big fan too!"
"...Sure," Peter accepted the album awkwardly. He quickly flipped through the pages. Those were all pictures of him, not Teddy, but not that anyone would know.
"Woah, what's that?" MJ's voice brought Peter back to the conversation. Ned gave her a wry look.
"Mr. Harrington."
"Okay," she frowned, and decided not to dwell on it. "What were you guys talking about?"
"The real Spider-Man," Ned said. "I meant the fake one. The real one."
"The blonde one," Peter called it. "Do you think he's hotter or me?"
"What?" MJ's frown grew deeper. "I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know? Don't you think he's hot?" Ned asked further. MJ shrugged in visible discomfort.
"I guess? But he's not my type and he's gay."
"What's your type?" Peter asked. MJ stared at him.
"Just... not sports guys."
"But superheroes have to have a strong build."
"Yes but... no? He's like, Thor or Captain Marvel type of strong," she said, lowering her voice. "I prefer Spider-Man."
"And Black Widow," Ned added. Peter and MJ both stared at him, though Peter was more confused while MJ was more... embarrassed. "What? You said you liked her!"
"Wait, can I ask you a question?" Peter turned to MJ and what Doctor Strange said had returned to his mind.
"Yeah?"
"Are you bisexual?"
"...What?"
"I'm asking because..." Peter hesitated for a moment. He's going to tell her the futures Doctor Strange mentioned. Or is he?
"I'm bisexual too and I just want you to know," he said at last. MJ looked at him in silence for a moment and then smiled.
"It's good to know," she said.
All of a sudden, he felt so relieved. "It's good to know too," he said. Maybe, Peter thought. It doesn't really matter what futures await them. It doesn't really matter who they end up marrying either. As long as they're both honest and happy.
He should probably get that fire insurance as soon as possible, though.