Work Text:
Since transferring down from the ICU, TK Strand has quickly become a fan favorite of most of the staff on the rehab unit at West Park. He is loud, his friends are loud, his doting boyfriend is one of the hottest people alive, but his sunny personality and kind smile make all of his nurses fall completely in love with him.
He’s halfway through a breathing treatment when Casey starts her shift, but he smiles and waves at her as the percussion vest rattles his lungs to help him recover from his time on the ventilator and the nerve damage from his hypothermia. Carlos, his handsome boyfriend, is sitting at the head of his bed, chatting idly with the respiratory therapist and laughing when TK tries to join the conversation and the vest makes his voice vibrate.
Casey has been his nurse for the past three nights. There’s not much to do on the night shift of a rehab floor since they like to let their patients rest after a hard day of physical therapy, but TK’s revolving door of visitors at odd hours has brought some entertainment to the unit. They’re willing to turn a blind eye to the unexpected visits, knowing that most of his friends in uniform are likely sneaking in to see him during their shifts. After years of a pandemic and tight visitor restrictions, it’s nice to hear the laughter of friends and families again. His room is also filled with colorful flowers and various knick-knacks, her favorite being the stuffed polar bear that’s watching over TK’s bed.
“Hi, TK,” Casey says as she checks the safety equipment in the room, a standard practice she utilizes before every shift. You don’t have an ambu-bag once and you never make that mistake again.
“H-e-e-e-e-e-e-y-y” he says back, and purposely stretches the word so his vest rattles the word out of him. Carlos grins at him.
“I heard you might be busting outta here soon,” she says. “Day shift said your labs and lung function tests are looking a lot better.”
He nods, and Carlos squeezes his hand.
“They said we’re probably going to end up bringing home some therapy equipment for him until his lungs get a little stronger, but we’re excited,” Carlos adds.
“Well in that case, boys,” Casey says with a smile. “Drinks are on me tonight. I’m happy to bring you a round of our finest apple or grape juice boxes once I’m finished with my safety checks for everyone.”
“Well,” TK says grinning as the respiratory therapist helps him remove his vest, “I’ve been partial to apple, but I’ll give the grape a try tonight.”
She laughs and tells him she’ll be back soon before she gives his IV one more check and heads out of the room.
She’s back a little over an hour later with his juice, his night meds, a stack of warm blankets, and a new bag of fluids.
She busies herself with her tasks, pulling TK’s old fluid bag down and handing him his medications. One for nausea, one to help the dizziness and headaches, one to stabilize his high heart rates, antibiotics for the pneumonia that buried its way into his lungs the minute icy water hit them. He’s offered a muscle relaxant to help the cramps he’s been getting in his cold, stiff muscles, but declines and opts to take the Tylenol and ibuprofen on his PRN list instead.
More people have shuffled into his hospital room this evening (past visitor hours, but she’s not going to say anything) and they’re all playing a black and white card game she’s very familiar with. They may or may not keep a copy in the break room to play on their breaks.
TK’s propped up in bed with several brightly colored pillows. Carlos has put the bed rail down and is sitting on the side of the bed with their shoulders touching. They’re both adorable and remind Casey fondly of when she and her wife were first dating.
“Casey,” TK says after he throws back the pills in his little medicine cup. “Look at my cards and help me decide if it’s too soon to play these two .”
She peeks over at the white cards in TK’s hand and decides “same-sex ice dancing” and “seeing my father cry” would probably be inappropriate to play for the card “Lifetime Presents _____: the story of ____”. Especially by someone who had just survived hypothermia. She and Carlos both shake their heads. He plays them anyway.
The woman in a brightly colored tracksuit and matching hijab throws a handful of popcorn at him when she gets to his cards.
“You’re such a jerk,” she jokes. “We cried by your bedside for like three whole days and you’re already making jokes about it.”
“That’s cold dude,” says someone who she’s pretty sure is Paul Strickland, a hypothermia victim they discharged only a few days ago. “You’re not the only one here who almost froze their toes off.” Yes, she thinks. Definitely Paul.
“Hence the same-sex ice dancing.”
They all stare at him, and it’s clear his joke has missed the mark.
“Well,” And TK almost sounds a little irritated, like the day of intense therapy is catching up with him. Casey makes a mental note that it might be time to enforce the visitor hours so her patient can get some sleep. “I think I should be able to joke whenever I want because everyone says I’m lucky to be alive and I’m trying to cope with that.”
The room gets a little too quiet and Casey scrunches her nose.
“Sorry, but I don’t—“ she says thoughtfully, “—and don’t quote me on this, but I don’t actually think that’s true.”
Carlos’ face darkens for a moment and she turns to face the gathered crowd in the room as she continues to scrub TK’s IV line so she can attach his new bag of fluids. She continues talking as she hangs the new bag and plugs everything into the pump.
“Sorry, that sounded shitty. Let me rephrase. Yes, you are lucky. But you’re lucky because you went into cardiac arrest in the most optimal conditions. You had skilled paramedics at your side the entire time, and you were in an environment below freezing which ultimately protected your brain. Saying you’re lucky to be alive discounts the hard work you and your friends did,” she tips her chin up to TK’s tall paramedic friend at the end of his bed, “that kept ya alive.”
TK’s tall paramedic friend blinks at her.
“Thank you,” she says softly. “That actually feels really good to hear.”
Casey flaps a hand at her. “You and your captain had a friend die in your arms and worked your ass off to make sure he didn’t stay that way. Props where props are due.”
Carlos, she notices, is watching the exchange with a stiff posture and arms folded, a frown on his face.
“Sorry, honey,” Casey says, briefly touching his shoulder to make sure he knows she’s addressing him. “I’m being very blunt about your loved one’s life. In a room full of first responders, I forget my manners sometimes.”
Carlos shakes his head, “No I appreciate it. Nancy needs to hear she's a rockstar and I’ll always be grateful for what she did to save TK. I just—“ he swallows and closes his eyes briefly. “There were some nurses in the ICU that didn’t share your positive outlook.”
Casey blinks at him and she can feel her expression go cold. She knows how callous and thoughtless nurses can be, especially when they’re processing their own secondhand grief, and a pit forms deep in her stomach. “Elaborate please,” she commands.
Carlos shakes his head and makes a sideways glance toward TK and Nancy. “It’s not worth repeating,” he says eventually.
She raises an eyebrow at him.
“But it’s bothering you,” she says, a statement not a question.
Carlos nods once.
“Come on then,” she says as she nods her head to the door. “I gotta get your man some more snacks, why don’t you come with me so you can make sure I get what he wants?”
Carlos stands and TK grabs the sleeve of his shirt. “Babe,” he says softly. “What happened?”
“Let me go get you a stupid amount of gluten free animal crackers and cheese sticks, and I’ll tell you when I get back.” Carlos places a kiss on the top of TK’s head.
“It’s not stupid, Carlos,” TK calls as they walk out of the room together. “These animal crackers are vital for my recovery.” Carlos turns around and makes a face at him and TK bursts out laughing.
She slides the door to the room closed and turns to Carlos.
“You don’t have to tell me everything. But it’s clearly bothering you, and I’d like to help you file an incident report if what they said was out of line.”
A cloud of anger storms across Carlos’ face and Casey realizes that no matter what this man tells her, she’s going to say something to her supervisor anyway. What they said hurt him, and even if it was true, it likely made his hurt worse. Which isn’t what they go into this field to do.
“They said that he shouldn’t have been revived after his heart stopped out in the snow. That he was just torturing his family because his death was only a matter of time,” Carlos says softly, like he wants to take the words and shove them back in his mouth. Like even speaking them outloud will doom the man in the room they just left. Like they are a wound he will never recover from.
Casey’s mouth drops open.
“Good lord,” she says. “They said that in front of you?”
He shakes his head. “They didn’t know I was there.”
She feels the harsh, surprised laugh burst out of her. “But they said it in front of him, didn’t they?”
Carlos nods and crosses his arms tightly. He looks like he’s about to cry.
"Bless. Carlos, I want you to look at me when I say this, because I want to make sure you hear it, mkay?”
Carlos’s eyes flick up to meet hers and sure enough they’re shining with tears. Shit.
“That was out of line and they had absolutely no right to say that. At all. Full stop. But especially in front ‘a you and TK.”
His gaze flicks back down and he nods.
“Do you remember their names?” she asks softly.
He shakes his head.
“Okay, well, I’d like to give you a complaint form to fill out, maybe once TK is asleep, and I’ll personally make sure it gets filed with our supervisor. If you can remember the date and time, then it should be documented who was in his room and their manager will talk to them.”
“I don’t want to make it a big deal,” he says. “I just want him to get better.”
Casey nods. “You’re a cop right?” He looks up, surprised and she waves a hand at him. “TK likes to brag about how good you look in your uniform and utility belt. We’re aware.”
Carlos blushes to his ears.
“But you’re a cop, right? If one ‘a your coworkers said something along those lines, you’d want someone to talk to ‘em about it?”
“Yeah,” he says firmly. “My dad’s a Ranger and my captain is an old family friend. I’m not really afraid to make a fuss if I need to.”
“Yeah, I had a feeling.” She grins. “Because otherwise they’re gonna say it again to someone else. Or worse, their opinions could physically hurt someone.”
When Carlos nods, she continues. “You 'n I both work in a profession where we see horrific things. And where our mistakes could hurt someone. Or kill someone. And that’s a heavy burden we bear, but we chose to do it. I think the divide between the good cops and nurses and bad ones is those who go into it to have control over people versus those who go into it to truly help. And that divide is thin, so a bad call or burnout can push us too far into the danger zone. If those nurses have gotten to a point where they’re saying callous things that make their patients’ suffering worse, it’s time to leave. Before they kill someone.”
He looks at her for a long time and she’s not afraid to hold his gaze. She’ll stand firm in her opinions that anyone that jaded needs to find something new. Otherwise they are doing harm to their patients. Their actions have consequences. The tears in Carlos’s eyes that have spilled over is proof of that.
“Carlos, I want you to know that what they said was out of line. You’re not overreacting because of your grief or because of how much you love TK. It was wrong, and you should make a complaint so someone talks to them about their behavior. And in the future, if a health care provider ever says something like that in front of you again, I encourage you to ask to speak to the charge nurse or shift supervisor and have them removed from your care team.”
He nods, quiet for another moment.
“Thank you,” he says. “I wasn’t sure what to do, honestly. I wanted to be with him, not make a scene. And a few hours later he was waking up and we were transferred down here, so I figured I’d just—“ he trails off.
“Keep it to yourself an’ live with the hurt it caused you?”
He allows her a soft smile.
“Something like that.”
“We all hope that our coworkers are in this job with us for the right reasons,” Casey says. “I—“ she takes a breath. “I was sick a lot as a kid. Some of the best nurses I know literally picked me up off the ground and figuratively walked through fire with me. But there are some people I’ve met along the way whose words haunt me. And I try very hard to not be those people.”
She lifts her pant legs up to show Carlos the braces that slip under her feet and stretch up the back of her calf. That keep her upright so she can continue to advocate for the patients that almost always are too exhausted, too overwhelmed, too angry, too full of grief to advocate for themselves.
“Sometimes its pretty hard to be a queer, disabled nurse in Texas. I love my coworkers, but I’ve heard professionals I respected say some terrible things when they thought I couldn’t hear them. I’m sure you know a lot about that.”
The corners of his mouth twitch up and he nods. Casey let’s him take a moment to soak it all in and collect his thoughts.
“And I meant what I said. TK wasn’t lucky. He had some very skilled friends that did everything they could to restart his heart, and some amazing people to make sure he knew he had a life worth fighting for. Those nurses were wrong, and I’m glad y’all worked as hard as you did to bring him back to you.”
Carlos’ tears are coming steadily now and she reaches over to the nurses station and points at the box of tissues. One of her coworkers tosses it to her, and she pulls out a couple pieces of glorified sandpaper to hand to him.
“What else can I do for you tonight, honey?” She peeks into TK’s room and sees that he looks even grumpier without Carlos, and even more exhausted since she left him mere minutes ago. “I’m already plannin’ on kicking your friends out when we come back with snacks. Your man needs rest.”
“Oh thank god,” he laughs. “TK refuses to kick them out even when he starts getting really tired and mean. And they won’t leave because they love him and can’t stop looking at him being so alive.”
She flaps a hand at him again. “I’ve been doing this for quite a few years. I know when it’s time for visitors to go and when I gotta be a mean nurse about it. You stayin’ with him tonight?”
“Absolutely.”
“Come on then, let’s go get ya some blankets and snacks.”
She helps him carry everything back once they’ve settled on more juice, tons of animal crackers, and a few bonus puddings and jellos. Casey makes a quick stop by the computers and prints out an incident report form. She slides it between the blankets and says “fill it out like you would a police report,” and then doesn’t mention it again.
TK is falling asleep, but he smiles when he sees Carlos and reaches out toward him.
“Hey, baby” he says softly and Carlos settles back in his spot on the side of the bed.
“Alright everyone,” Casey says. “Visiting hours have been over for a while now so let’s let TK get some rest. Y’all can come back in the morning.”
They groan like small children, but all pat TK on the back, or squeeze his shoulder, or fist bump him on their way out. He snuggles into Carlos once they’re all gone.
“You can’t sleep in his bed with him, Carlos,” she warns and he chuckles and gives her a nod. She heads back to the nurses station and flips off the lights.
When she returns for her midnight rounds, Carlos has the sleeper sofa pressed all the way up to the side of TK’s hospital bed. Their hands are loosely intertwined as they both sleep as soundly as one can in beds that aren’t their own. They both stir when she does TK’s vitals and checks his fluids, but their hands still remain linked together.
The incident report lays face down at her mobile work station. She quickly reads the report in the faint light of the computer screen, and it’s somehow worse to read in Carlos’ meticulous handwriting. They didn’t even apologize.
When she gives her reports to the next nurse in the morning, TK and Carlos are both still asleep. She will likely not see them again, since she’s off for a few days and TK should be home by the time she gets back. She silently sends up a prayer for them as they navigate the recovery ahead. She wishes them the best of luck, and is thankful at least one of her patients has such a supportive partner by his side.
True to her word, she hands the incident report directly to her manager, who scans it quickly and looks grim as she reads. As she clocks out, she can see TK out of bed and ready to face the day, making laps around the nurses station with Carlos at his side.