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It had never been easy for Spencer to put any stock into the idea of romance. He just. . . didn't get it. He didn't get love either. He knew the chemical compound that made up love, and he loved his mom and his team, but romantic love was an impossible concept. Marriage made even less sense. The entire idea of tying yourself to another person was a ridiculous notion, and it was repeatedly shown to fail nearly half the time. His own parents were a perfect example of that. Hotch had been divorced. Rossi had had three failed marriages. Everything in Spencer's life just stacked up to tell him that romance and getting married was a pointless endeavor.
Everything except one person.
Derek Morgan was an anomaly.
When Derek Morgan spoke, it had the power to send Spencer’s mind racing and his heart fluttering. When Derek Morgan smiled at him, Spencer felt like he was floating and that nothing could ever hurt. When Derek Morgan called him “pretty boy” or let a “baby” slip out, Spencer felt like no one else in the world existed. When Derek Morgan asked him out for the first time, Spencer hadn’t hesitated to say yes and practically cried when he got home that day just thinking about it. When Derek Morgan kissed him, Spencer felt like melted butter.
Derek Morgan loved him, and Spencer Reid knew without a doubt that he loved him, too.
It didn’t make sense; it wasn’t logical.
But it was the truth.
He was in love. He was enthralled in romance. And furthermore- and this is what surprised him most of all- he wanted to get married.
He really, really wanted to marry Derek.
They’d been together three years now. After one year, they’d moved in together. They’d found a house, one that needed a little bit of work, but Derek had lit up when they’d visited it, talking about all the ways he could renovate it into their dream home. They’d made an offer on the home that night. After two years, Spencer had somehow been convinced into getting another dog. They were now the proud fathers of two German Shepherds, both of whom were dogs that had been trained for a K9 unit but failed their qualifications. After three years, Spencer had acquired a ring and was ready to propose to his boyfriend.
Of course, that was easier said than done.
Getting the ring? That was easy enough, if not nerve-wracking.
Making plans? Also on the simple side.
Now, executing the plans? That was proving to be difficult.
And it wasn’t even his own fault! He’d tried. Really hard.
His first plan had been dinner and an even walk through a park, reminiscent of their first date. Spencer planned to find a more secluded area of the park, somewhere where the moon was in view and where he could easily get down on one knee- even since getting shot, he had some sporadic issues with kneeling or putting too much pressure on it. It was all going great; they’d just finished dinner and were leaving the restaurant.
Then they got a call from JJ with a new case.
The second time around was. . . Well, okay, yeah, this one might have been entirely his fault. It was stupid, too. They were getting ready to leave for a night out with the team, and Spencer may or may not have spilled a glass of water in his own lap. Really, he thought if anyone should be blamed for that, it was the dogs, who had decided right next to where he was sitting at the kitchen table was the perfect place to play tug-of-war. Clooney won, but in doing so bumped his entire body into Spencer’s legs, jostling him and causing the water to slosh right over the rim of the glass and into his lap. Derek laughed at him, Clooney gave a long lick to his palm in apology, Spencer went to change, and that should have been that. Everything should have been fine. But then for the part that truly was his own fault.
He forgot the ring in his discarded, wet jeans.
After that, Spencer decided it would just be easiest to propose at the house, where there was no risk of him being in a completely different setting of the ring, and he planned for a day right after they’d gotten off a case in hopes there was no chance of getting a call from Hotch or JJ. They’d made dinner together, had a quiet night in, it was perfect. Except for when they went into the kitchen to get the dessert that Derek had made for them earlier, they found that their far too clever, living-to-torture-them dogs had managed to get into it and were both a frosting covered, chocolatey mess on the floor.
So they spent their evening in an emergency veterinary clinic.
The fourth time was Derek’s fault, Spencer had decided. Spencer was all ready to finally go grab the ring from their bedroom and just do it , but Derek had had other plans for the night. He’d pulled Spencer into his lap, then started kissing him, then. . . Well, needless to say, one thing led to another, and Spencer was out like a light against Derek’s chest, the both tucked into bed before Spencer could even remember he’d had plans to propose that evening.
His last attempt had been two weeks ago now. Spencer wasn’t sure what more to do at this point. He wanted a perfect moment. He supposed he could just recycle one of his previous plans, but even if Derek hadn’t known he was planning to propose any of those times, for Spencer the idea had been tainted of doing it in one of those settings. He was getting close to doing what he specifically had decided he would not do, and asking JJ or Penelope for help.
All he wanted to do was marry Derek Morgan.
It didn’t help that it was incredibly difficult to come up with proposal plans that worked with their schedule. They were at the BAU more often than they were not, and that was outside their actually scheduled work shifts.
They’d just gotten off a case yesterday, though, which meant today had been a catch-up-on-all-your-paperwork day. Spencer had finished his own a couple hours ago now; he’d gotten a head start on it while on the jet flight back yesterday, while the rest of the group had been asleep. Rossi and Hotch were both holed up in their offices to work in “peace and quiet”. Penelope was in her bat cave as per usual, and JJ and Emily were taking their lunch break, which they’d roped Spencer into joining when they saw he’d finished all his work. None of them were actually eating anymore, having moseyed out of the break room to one of the conference tables along the edge of the bullpen. Spencer was sitting on the table, legs crossed, with JJ and Emily off to his left. The two women were idly chatting about something Spencer had lost track of nearly five minutes prior. From his position, he had a clear view of the entire bullpen.
Spencer couldn't tear his gaze away from Derek.
He knew he was meant to be engaged in whatever it was that JJ and Emily were talking about around him, but he couldn't focus in on that even if he tried. Not while Derek was sitting across the room, looking like that.
Really, it wasn't anything different than how he normally looked. He was wearing his usual tight t-shirt and jeans, gun visible from where it was strapped to his hip. The man was elbow deep in paperwork, a look of determined concentration on his face. A mug of coffee which surely had to be cold by now was sitting next to him, and the pen in his hand moved smoothly across the papers.
Maybe it was the fact that he was sitting at Spencer's desk that was getting to him. He would do that, sometimes. He still had his own office, just off of the bullpen, but when he knew that Spencer had already finished up his own paperwork and reports, Derek would meander on out from the comfort of his private office and take over his boyfriend's desk. He said it was because he missed the chaos and noise of the bullpen sometimes. Spencer never voiced it out loud, but he thought it may actually be because Derek missed the days of him, Emily, and Spencer sitting kitty corner with each other as they worked, throwing office supplies back and forth and making jokes until Hotch leaned out of his office to fix them with That Look. But he knew Derek had trouble admitting to things like that, so he'd never brought it up.
Regardless of the reason why his boyfriend would sit there, there was something special about watching Derek in his space. The man could flawlessly navigate Spencer's desk. To anyone walking by, it would look like Spencer had the messiest desk in the bullpen. It was littered with different colored pens and highlighters, neon sticky notes stuck to nearly every surface. The drawers appeared to have no organizational structure that any other agent would ever use, and the one was difficult to open with the weight of all the books Spencer had managed to cram into it. To him, of course, his desk made perfect sense. Yeah, it was admittedly messy, but it was organized chaos. Everything was where it needed to be for Spencer to get things done or find something later. Derek was the only one who didn't blink twice at the apparent disaster that was the desk of Spencer Reid. Instead, Derek navigated it as if it was his own. He never moved anything out of its home, never tried to reorganize things, knew exactly which drawer had whatever it was he was looking for. Sometimes he would leave his own sticky notes somewhere- with messages about a case, reminders, or just silly little notes to remind him that he loved him- and he followed Spencer's color and surface-coded organization to a T. It proved, like everything else the man did, that Derek Morgan fit perfectly into the life of Dr. Spencer Reid.
And the reaffirmation of that knowledge- today, in the middle of the bullpen, around 2:16 in the afternoon- was the breaking point. The last straw. The final piece of the puzzle.
"Fuck it," Spencer suddenly said aloud, causing both Emily and JJ to go abruptly silent, staring at him with wide eyes and open mouthes.
"Spence?" JJ asked, but the genius ignored her. Instead, he shoved his hand into his pocket, wrapping his grip around the stupid little navy blue velvet box that he'd been carrying around for weeks now. His eyes still hadn't left Derek as he pulled it out.
He distantly heard one of the women next to him suck in a gasp, but he paid it no attention.
"Hey, Derek- Catch!" he calls out before the ring box goes flying through the air across the room. It lands perfectly in the hand of Derek Morgan, who barely even glanced up from his report to grab the box out of the air. Spencer just continued to watch as Derek's eyes lazily trailed over the box, uncomprehending, before the SSA set it down next to his ignored mug of coffee and immediately went back to his report.
"Oh my god," JJ was saying next to him, and he tuned his ears back into the women, "Oh my god!"
"Was that a-" Emily asked, her eyes wide.
"Yep," Spencer responded.
"And did you just-?"
"Mhmm."
"Oh my god. Spence, holy shit."
"And did Morgan just-?"
"Yeah, I was expecting that actually," Spencer smiled, finally tearing his gaze away from his working boyfriend to look at Emily and JJ. Both of them looked in equal states of awe, confusion, and joy.
"Spencer!" JJ slapped his arm. "That's not how you propose to someone!"
Spencer laughed, slipping off the table to stand up. Both women followed suit, automatically following him when he made his way into the break room.
"Trust me," he said, "I tried proposing to him. Four times. We kept getting interrupted or something would go wrong."
"So you just randomly throw the ring at him?" Emily asked, shaking her head in disbelief.
"Did you know that a survey done in 2017 reported that only 35% of women were surprised that their boyfriend proposed?" Spencer said as he poured himself a new mug of coffee. "It's interesting- Movies and TV shows always show that marriage proposals are a surprise to one of the characters, but in reality, a majority of couples talk about marriage well before a proposal takes place. Of course, that statistic is only based in heterosexual couples- there's very little research conducted into proposal statistics for couples of the same-sex or otherwise."
He reached for the sugar, feeling the ways his team members were still staring at him with wide eyed looks of shock.
"So. . ." Emily started, "You and Morgan have talked about getting married?"
Spencer glanced at her before going back to stirring in his sugar. "Not really, actually. Not in as many words, at least. I mean, we've talked about spending the rest of our lives together- We've both updated our wills, our emergency contacts and medical proxies, and we bought our house together. But we never talked about getting married."
"What on earth made you decide to go out and buy a ring then?"
Spencer smiled, taking a sip of his coffee and turning around to lean against the counter, facing his friends.
"I knew he wouldn't," he explained simply. "I haven't always had the. . . best views of marriage. Not after my parents. And nearly half of all first marriages end in divorce. Derek knows all that, and I know he's never actually brought up getting married because he doesn't want to make me uncomfortable. But I know that he's always wanted it, and I. . . I love him, and I want to be married to him."
JJ and Emily were both giving him bright smiles, and JJ's eyes looked suspiciously wet. Emily reached out, squeezing his forearm.
"You are full of surprises, Dr. Reid."
He gave his friend a smile in return, happy that out of all the people in his life, these two who he saw as sisters were some of the first to know that he wanted to marry Derek.
"I can't believe you just proposed to Morgan," JJ shook her head.
Spencer swallowed a mouthful of coffee, "Technically, I didn't. All I did was give him the ring. Now it's just a matter of how long it takes him to-"
"SPENCER REID!"
Spencer smiled widely as the loud shout came from the bullpen, "There it is."
Emily let out a laugh next to him, and JJ covered her mouth as she let out a sound akin to a squeak. Spencer just casually turned to set his coffee mug down on the counter behind him, then made no move to leave the break room, resuming his position of leaning against the counter. Emily and JJ didn't leave the room either, instead just moving off to the corner, gripping at each other's hands. As expected, it didn't take very long for Derek to find them. He came practically barreling into the break room, his eyes blown wide and confusion and surprise written across his features.
"Spencer, what the fuck?" he started with, still standing in the doorway, across the room from Spencer with the navy blue box in his hand. Spencer raised his eyebrows in response, questioning.
It wasn't often he got to play the sly, collected one, and he was going to milk it for all it was worth.
"Spence- this is a ring," Derek said, the words coming out thickly.
The doctor smiled, "Astute observation, Agent Morgan."
"Spencer," Derek said with a whining tone to his voice. "Baby, why am I holding a ring?"
Derek looked so hopeful. Spencer knew that was his cue to stop messing with his poor boyfriend. He pushed himself off the counter, taking a few steps towards Derek. The other man took a few of his own, meeting him halfway. Spencer smiled softly at his boyfriend, reaching out to gently pluck the ring box out of his hand. Derek's eyes were locked on his, his gaze searching and overflowing with emotion. Spencer tore his eyes away, looking down at the box as he opened it. He heard Derek's breath hitch as he did, and Spencer felt his own smile grow even softer at the sight of the silver band with its diagonal inlay of three small diamonds resting inside. He continued to gaze down at the ring as he began speaking.
"Only 3 to 5 percent of all animal species mate for life. And humans are. . . are not one of them. Monogamy and lasting relationships are few and far between with humans. That's why I never understood how people could call someone the love of their life."
He looked up at Derek, meeting his gaze and reaching out to grab his boyfriend's hand.
"Until I met you," he whispered softly, and Derek's breath hitched again as he subconsciously squeezed Spencer's hand. "You, Derek Morgan, changed everything I thought I knew about relationships and love. You're my statistical improbability."
Derek smiled wide, huffing a laugh.
"I love you. More than all my degrees and doctorates tell me should even be possible. But I don't care because you are. . . the love of my life , and nothing is ever going to change that. So. . ."
Spencer took a half step back from Derek before doing the thing he never thought he'd ever do, and dropping to one knee in front of his boyfriend. Derek was looking at him like there was nothing else in the entire world.
"Will you marry me?"
Immediately, Derek was tugging him right back up to his feet, yanking him close so their chests pressed together. He wrapped a hand around the back of Spencer's neck, pulling him into what was probably the sweetest, most loving kiss he'd ever had. Spencer wasted no time in wrapping his arms around Derek, careful not to drop the ring as he pressed back into the kiss. Derek's grip on him was almost bruising, but Spencer didn't care one bit. Not when he could physically feel the love coursing between them in this moment.
When they finally broke off, if for no other reason than a lack of air, Derek's eyes were shining with tears and he looked happier than Spencer could ever remember seeing him. Derek's hands came to cup his jaw, the pressure on his face warm and gentle.
"Yeah, I'll marry you, baby. Of course I will."
Spencer's smile was so big it hurt his cheeks. He leaned his forehead against Derek's, closing his eyes for a moment.
"Yeah?"
Derek laughed, "Give me the ring, Pretty Boy, or I swear to god-"
Spencer laughed, pulling back, "Okay, okay. Give me your hand."
He plucked the ring out of its cushioned home, tucking the box back into his pocket. He gently took Derek's left hand in his, slipping the ring onto his finger. He bit his lip as he watched Derek take his first proper look at the jewelry. He could see the recognition begin flashing in his fiancé's eyes.
"It's your dad's," Spencer breathed out, barely loud enough to be a whisper. "I called your mom, a few months ago. Your sisters, too, to make sure they were okay with it. They sent it to me, and I got it resized about two months ago."
Derek looked up at him, the tears in his eyes renewed and his face laden with awe. This was the only part of the proposal that Spencer had found himself worried about. He hadn't doubted he would say yes, but he had no clue how he'd react to the knowledge that he was proposing with what had once been Hank Morgan's wedding band.
"I'm so fucking in love with you," Derek sighed out, pulling Spencer into the tightest of hugs.
It was then that they heard a quiet "Oh my god" off to their side, and they both turned to see JJ and Emily clutching at each other like they'd fall over if they let go, both watching the newly engaged couple with tear tracks down their cheeks. At the sight of them, Derek jolted a little in Spencer's arms.
"Jesus, how long have you two been standing there?" the elder demanded, and Spencer shook with silent laughter, still mostly trapped in Derek's embrace.
"They followed me in here after I threw you the ring," Spencer explained.
JJ wiped at her eyes, "Sorry, sorry, we'll leave you alone. I just-"
The blonde broke away from Emily, moving swiftly towards them and wrapping the both of them in her arms the best she could.
"I'm so happy for you guys!"
Derek and Spencer both released a laugh, detangling themselves until they could both wrap an arm around the woman.
"Thank you, JJ," Spencer whispered, shortly followed by Derek's own "Yeah, thanks Jayje."
JJ pulled away with a smile, walking towards the break room door and gesturing for Emily to follow. Rather than another little group hug, Emily moved forward to hug them individually. She pressed a kiss to Spencer's cheek, and when she moved to Derek she whispered something in his ear that had the man laughing.
Emily began shutting the door behind her as she and JJ left, but before it was all the way closed, she popped her head back in to say, "If you guys aren't back out here in five minutes, we're telling Garcia, Rossi, and Hotch ourselves."
As the door shut, Derek frowned, "Did she just threaten us with our friends being happy for us?"
Spencer laughed, "You know that as soon as Garcia finds out we're not getting a moment's peace."
Derek smiled, shaking his head. He wrapped his right arm around Spencer's waist, gazing down at the ring adorning his left hand.
"So," Derek began, eyes not straying off the ring, "Did you ask for my mom's blessing, too, or just for my dad's ring?"
His tone was teasing, but Spencer still felt defense sputtering up inside him, "What- No, of course not- That's an arcane, outdated notion that-"
"You did, didn't you?" Derek looked far too pleased with himself.
Spencer pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes at his fiancé.
"If you're going to be like that, give me the ring back," Spencer feigned seriousness, knowing Derek would know he didn't mean it in the slightest. Even still, he felt his heart skip a beat at the way Derek's face twisted like the thought alone of not having the ring was painful.
"No, fuck off," Derek responded, holding his hand to his chest. "I'm never taking this thing off."
Spencer bit back his smile, "Wow, Derek. Telling me to fuck off is such a lovely way to treat your fiancé."
At that, a soft smile overtook Derek's face.
"That's what you are, aren't you?" he asked with a lovestruck tone, "You're my fiancé. Holy shit."
Spencer laughed, wrapping his arms around Derek's neck, "Yeah. I am. And I did ask your mom for her blessing."
Derek smiled, tucking a strand of Spencer's hair back behind his ear. "As long as that's the only stupid wedding tradition we do. We already live together- I'm not spending the night before the wedding apart from you."
Spencer rolled his eyes, but nodded anyway.
Derek shook his head, letting out a breathy laugh. “You threw the ring at me. You threw it. That’s really the best you could come up with?”
Spencer swatted at his chest, “Hey! Listen, you are not the easiest man to propose to. I had actual plans, but they kept getting messed up, so. . . I figured the best course of action would be to just give you the ring. It worked, didn’t it?”
Derek’s smile was borderline goofy looking as he gazed at Spencer with disbelief.
“I’m just impressed your toss actually made it to me.”
Spencer rolled his eyes once again, “I just proposed to you, and all I get in return in mockery. I’m telling your sisters.”
Derek laughed, head falling back a little. He always looked so beautiful, when he laughed like that, and Spencer felt his entire body turn to putty at the sight. He knew he must be looking at Derek like the man held the key to all the stars in the sky.
"I love you," he whispered. Derek looked back at him, eyes glittering. The older man let out a soft, happy sounding sigh, leaning his forehead against Spencer's. A blanket of contentment seemed to wrap itself around them, the silence of the empty room bringing a welcome peace.
"I love you, too, baby. Everything you said earlier. . . About me changing your views on love? Being the love of your life? You're that for me, too."
They last track of how long they simply stood holding onto each other before they heard a shout of joy from outside the room that sounded suspiciously like Penelope. They shook with laughter against each other.
"We went over our five minutes," Derek said needlessly.
The hurricane that was Penelope Garcia's love was surely coming through the door any second, followed by what they were sure would be the fatherly, proud gazes of Hotch and Rossi. Spencer had known it would be the outcome of proposing while at work. Not that he much cared. He'd had four failed proposal plans, and all he'd wanted was to just be engaged to this man already. And now he was. And even if they didn't get any proper privacy until they got home tonight, it didn't matter.
None of his plans could ever have been better than the proposal they got.
He didn't need an eidetic memory to know that today was a day he'd never forget a single detail of. He'd remember this- the look on Derek's face, the feeling of his arms securely around him, the joy of their friends- for the rest of his life.
It had always been hard for him to put stock into romance, into love and marriage.
But Derek Morgan made it easy.