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After they came out to Zari at The Fixed Point and the Legends defeated their robot selves (including Spooner tricking Robo-Gary into killing Robo-Spooner, pure genius but not that anyone really noticed), Spooner was finally ready to talk to their best friend, or at least attempt to consider being open to more of the Legends about who they are. However, there were multiple problems with this plan and Spooner decided that Ava had been rubbing off on them (they can practically hear Astra calling them Captain Sharpe right now) because the only way they could actually bring themself to try and figure out how they would actually *come out* was to make a list of issues and a game plan.
Problems:
1. Astra and Behrad were a thing now
2. Coming out to Zari happened unexpectedly
3. They were most definitely a bit drunk when they explained to Zari that feelings of smashing didn't really apply
4. They were still figuring out what this ace thing meant as their upbringing didn't really give them much exposure to this identity stuff
5. And oh yeah they couldn't really look into it atm cause evil gideon was trynna kill everyone onboard the evil waverider after robo astra almost killed the legends gideon
6. Did they want a romantic relationship? Did they like Astra this way? Would they lose Astra's friendship if they tried to tell her about this?
7. They were just starting to get to know Zari. And Zari never answered their question about her type?
8. What did they even want for their future? If they finished dealing with these robots/evil gideon and everything resolves nicely (which from their experience with the legends never happens) what would happen then? What's next? What about their Mom, would they get to tell gloria about this and what would she think?
Plan:
1. Defeat evil gideon and get HOME (to the present)
2. Save Alun, reunite Alun and Gwyn without destroying the timeline
3. Get Ava and Sara on their honeymoon
4. Talk more to Zari about this stuff and then maybe Gideon cause she probably has a ton of knowledge on this stuff
5. Bring Astra and Gideon back to Odessa to see Mom again
6. Figure out the rest later?
The issue with Ava rubbing off on Spooner was that before the Legends they had both always had a plan and never had a plan.
They were in and out of foster homes, simultaneously dealing with the alien stuff before deciding to go off by themself as that was the best chance at survival. They didn't have the luxury of being able to think or plan for the future, but they always had survival and attack plans. When you think aliens are trying to get into your brain and track you down to hurt you after taking away the person you loved most, you always had to plan for the next step in your survival. This had made Spooner incredibly smart, able to think fast, use limited resources to the best use possible, and also socially and emotionally unavailable.
Being with the legends and the journey to finding their mom and finding a place where they belonged had all happened so fast and in a whirlwind. And growing up they didn't know what was actually legitimate feelings and what wasn't.
In Texas as a teen, hookups and casual dating and making out was more than the norm, it was expected. And in and out of foster homes running from an enemy nobody else understood already made Spooner an outcast. The bowling community was different, for a while at least until things got bad for Spooner again. And in Texas they knew what being gay was, but asexual? No. Not feeling like a female or wanting to present "girly" most days but being comfortable in their body and not being a guy? No. Pants were more practical to fight, run, and hide knives in anyway.
So Spooner decided they were gonna shove whatever feelings and confusion and need to talk to someone they were having deep down for now and just focus on the present: surviving long enough to defeat this evil gideon who was trying to kill the legends and then deal with their impending identity crisis.