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Through the years, she had become a constant that he could rely on. Going through the shared experience they had tended to bond people together. There was a connection that only they understood, having shared a body and a mind. Having woven their souls together in ways that others couldn’t comprehend. There had always been an understanding from their friends that they might eventually end up together, chaos incarnates tended to be drawn to those who preferred to dance in the flame rather than run from it.
But it had never happened.
Between the tours, the life changes, the weddings of friends, and funerals of others, there was one thing that remained the same. It had never mattered the physical distance between them, whenever they met back up it was as if they had never parted.
He liked that about them. She was the one person who understood his quirks because she had lived them. He was the one person she truly opened to because he had seen her for who she was.
So, it was natural, he thought, not to want to ruin that.
And they never did.
But ten years was a long time to dance around things. Ten years of friendship, bonds growing stronger, no longer on that fear that they may disappear in the middle of the night. If she needed him, he was there, no matter how near or far she was. If he needed her, she’d drop everything without question and go to his side.
When he had realized that she was the one for him, it was five years in. A slow pace set by his fear holding him back, meeting up with her in Night City after returning from a tour supporting his latest album. The new owner of Afterlife, she had been holding court in the booth, in the middle of a conversation when she looked up and her eyes met his.
She had stopped mid-conversation and grinned. Her expression lit up like she was just waiting for him to come around, and at that moment his heart had stopped. Stopped until it sped up again, pushing him to put one foot in front of the other just to be near her.
But that had been five years ago.
Over the years, tours came and went; jobs came and went. She’d visit him when he played in town and sometimes surprised him on tour across the NUSA. He’d drop in unannounced to see her, usually interrupting something particularly hilarious but nothing scandalous. She had never taken a lover, and he hadn’t either.
No one, other than her.
The easy connection they had was preferable to anything else that could be out there. He would joke and say that he just didn’t care to see what else was out there, but that wasn’t exactly the truth. What was the truth, was that he craved the sweet symphony of sounds that she sang out any time they came together. Craved her soft moans and sighs, how she felt around him as if crafted for each other, only ever able to feel safe and content when with her. The sweetest song, his sweetest song, but he could never really call her his .
But throughout the years, they still called on each other all the same.
He had expected that his desire for her, his longing, would have faded as they were separated from each other. Mind and soul no longer blending, no longer feeling like he might have been influencing her emotions or being influenced by them.
The only thing that had changed was that things got stronger . Happiness was the warmth he felt when he spoke to her on the phone, the amusement at one of the many stupid photos she sent over, the surprising joy when she showed up unannounced backstage at one of his shows. Knowing that ultimately, his life would not be what it was now without her – and he didn’t want a life without her.
All of that had brought them to where they were now, ten years after their disconnect, ten years after their new shot a life. Life had brought them to the roof of Kerry’s villa, a party raging below. A celebration of Kerry’s marriage to someone he had met a few years ago. Laughter and cheering from the villa below, and by the time Johnny had gotten up to the roof, he saw her sitting and looking up at the stars.
It was rare to see the stars at all from any place in Night City, but North Oak didn’t disappoint. Most of the time.
As he reached the top of the roof, his footsteps alerting her to his presence, she turned and looked at him with a smile. Without him asking, she took out a cigarette and lit it. Despite their new bodies, their new lives, they sometimes fell into old habits. One cigarette, shared between them, as they were prone to do once a year.
Now was as good a time as any.
He settled down on the rooftop next to her, legs brushing against hers, shoulder touching hers. Her slim fingers passed the lit cigarette to him, and he took it. Fingers lightly danced against hers, before he put the cigarette between his lips and inhaled the smoke. Slowly, the smoke billowed out into the night air, as he returned it to her.
Years ago, he would have thought that finding silence and quiet in the middle of a party was a terrible fucking idea. Now, he relished in it. Craved it. Perhaps craved the company far more than the quiet itself.
Years ago, he would have also found himself jumpy in the silence. Not hearing his voice for too long, uncomfortable in his thoughts and where that could lead him. Instead, he preferred the silence with her, as they shared the cigarette until it was gone and flicked over the edge.
She shifted to rest against him, and he put his arm around her shoulders to pull her closer to him. Unable to help himself in the quiet closeness, he pressed his lips to her hair, breathing deeply of her. She let out a content sigh, as she relaxed against him.
This, he thought, was what he needed. What he wanted. He did not want to be without it.
She lifted her head, smiling at him as she gently let her hand caress his face. He could feel himself smiling, feel the stress from his body just leave him, as it always did when he was with her. When they kissed, it felt like coming home. Tender, welcoming, loved.
After a while of kissing her, of his hands roaming and her little sighs and moans, she had broken away. A smile on her lips as she took his hand in hers. He smiled as he looked away from her for a slight moment, up at the stars he had spent far too many years ignoring.
“Johnny.” She said, a statement, not a question.
“Hmm?” A hummed reply, as he still looked at the stars.
Her fingers tapped on his chin, scratched at his beard, an attempt to get him to look at her. She succeeded, she always did, and he brought his full attention back to her. Beauty, smiling in the moonlight.
“I was thinking…” she started, biting her lower lip before continuing, “will you marry me?”
He didn’t react right away, but when he did, he smiled. Moved a hand to gently rest against her cheek, as he shook his head. “Absolutely not.”
He watched her smile fade. His heart lunged, the opportunity to make things right very quickly fleeing, as he struggled to hold on to it. “Way I see it,” he added, as he gently moved his hand to her chin, bringing her attention back to him, “already been actin’ like an old married couple already for years.”
Her disappointment changed quickly to confusion and something else in her eyes he recognized. Hope. Love. “Meaning?”
“Meanin’ we don’t need the title of what we already are to each other, do we?” And there it was, laid out in front of them both. He loved her. Did not and would not be without her and had not for years.
“No,” she shook her head, her grin growing, “Don’t think we do.”
He pulled her closer to him, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Been yours for a decade, V. Gonna be that way until the end.”
One last word whispered between them, a soft “Good” from her before she crashed her lips against his own.