Archive of Our Own

1.

“...Then, Chongyun jumped on top of the nearest table and just started dancing to Twice’s Fancy. It was both terrifying and fascinating, Mister Zhongli, do you think that could count as a traumatic experience? Was that the real real Chongyun instead of his usual cute, calm, I-want-to-put-him-in-my-pocket Chongyun? It should be, right? Because he nailed the dance down to the detail and—”

“Miss Hu,” Zhongli interrupts her rambling, effectively cutting off Hu Tao’s recount of the jueyun-chili-Chongyun experience.

The student blinks up at Zhongli, smiling sheepishly when she realizes that she’s been talking non-stop without giving Zhongli the chance to reply. Obediently, she sits straighter on her chair and mimes a zipping move across her lips, making Zhongli shake his head in what Hu Tao assumes to be a disapproving (yet fond) gesture.

“I do think Mister Chongyun knows how to have fun, he just has to control himself from having too much fun in order to control his yang energy,” Zhongli offers his thoughts on the case.

They’re in the vice principal’s—Zhongli’s—room with Zhongli trying to get his paperwork done and Hu Tao admittedly distracting him from said job by pouring her heart out on the seat across from him. It’s not her fault that Zhongli is the go-to for any student-related problems (and Hu Tao is his regular patron). The school has their own guidance counselor, but they’re lacking compared to Zhongli, who understands not only the topic of history (what he teaches in class) but also the human heart (not the biological thing with two atriums and two ventricles, but the thing with feelings and emotions).

Hu Tao has overheard Principal Venti call Zhongli a blockhead on more than one occasion, but she begs to disagree. She knows about the many times Zhongli’s office is crowded by students, freshmen and seniors alike, telling him stories and asking for advice. Academics? Zhongli can give a lecture on motivation. Personal problems? Hu Tao believes that Zhongli has lived too many lifetimes with his wisdom—Xiangling believes he’s a six thousand years old vampire. Love woes? There’s a flowery silver band on Zhongli’s right ring finger, though Hu Tao isn’t sure he’s married as much as that’s just an accessory (Zhongli’s sharp intuition and suggestion always work anyway).

“So you think Chongyun secretly learns girl group dances in his spare time when no one is looking? Probably in a room conditioned to be below zero temperature to keep him from getting too hot?” Hu Tao taps her chin, imagining Chongyun dancing to more songs in a frosty room, probably like those rooms in restaurants for food preservation.

“Or he could have a really good memory that he can recreate the movements without ever trying them before, Miss Hu.” Zhongli gives up on his paperwork eventually, putting his pen atop the sad pile of papers on his desk.

(Ganyu’s horrified face haunts him in his head, saying repeatedly, “We’re way behind schedule,” though Zhongli is still following his schedule meticulously. He’s learned to spare a lot of time for his students coming to him for whatever it is they need after the disaster that was his year one as the vice principal where he had to make a lot of sort-of-kind-of valid excuses for his terrible work because he had to tend to the students. A certain red haired vice principal always scoffed at Zhongli’s bogus excuses, but he didn’t care.)

Hu Tao snaps her fingers loudly, gasping as she feels enlightened by Zhongli’s—what were they trying to work on again? Right, Hu Tao was trying to figure out the person that is Chongyun. That has to count as an emergency personal problem that she can bring up to Zhongli, right? Probably not, but Hu Tao needs an excuse to see Zhongli because she’s missing her late grandfather these days and Zhongli has always reminded her of him and Zhongli’s voice is very soothing and—

Now that’s a personal problem Hu Tao can bring up to Zhongli, talk about substantial matters for once instead of these mundane topics about the daily misadventures of her and her friends. She doesn’t really want to, though, maybe one day.

And alas, Zhongli also has his own personal problem.

A knock resounds from the door and when Zhongli chimes a little ‘come in’, someone opens the door a fraction and peeks inside the room. Before looking back to see who it is, Hu Tao notices Zhongli’s form freezing, going rigid at the sight of whoever is at the door.

“Mister Zhongli, have you seen Miss Ganyu? She’s not in her office and I need her to sign something for me.”

Hu Tao recognizes the voice before seeing the person.

It’s Diluc, another vice principal and her economics teacher. Long red hair, equally red eyes, red blood (probably). He’s terrible, always so gruff and unfriendly. He never smiles, Hu Tao thinks there must be something wrong with him.

“Ah, yes, Miss Ganyu told me that she’s getting food from the canteen with Miss Lisa. She’ll be back in—” Zhongli squints at the clock hanging above Diluc’s head— “about ten minutes. You can wait in her office or put the documents here, I can relay it to her and give it back to you tomorrow morning.”

Diluc scoffs. “No need, I’ll wait in her office.”

Not even a ‘thank you’, not even a ‘goodbye’ or an ‘excuse me’ before Diluc closes the door a tad too harshly and Hu Tao can feel herself visibly shudder.

She knows that the two don’t get along, often arguing in the hallways when she’s sure that they know everyone is looking and barely acting civil to each other when they have to come face to face. Hu Tao isn’t sure who started it all first in the beginning, but it couldn’t have been Zhongli, right?

Zhongli sighs and shakes his head, seeming a little more tired than before.

“Alright, Miss Hu, are you going to go home yet?” Zhongli asks after five seconds of just staring at the door.

Hu Tao lights up. “Yep! Are you going to walk with me to the bus station, Mister Zhongli?”

Zhongli glances one more time at the abandoned paper on his desk, but eventually shrugs and takes his coat from the back of his chair before standing up.

“Let’s go,” Zhongli says, walking to the door first for Hu Tao to follow along.

At the cue, Hu Tao jumps up and takes her bag from the floor beside her, giddily skipping her steps and exiting the room, letting Zhongli lock the door before they walk to the entrance of the school together.

(Hu Tao almost yelps when she catches Diluc’s icy glare from the cracks of Ganyu’s office, making her clutch on to Zhongli’s sleeve in her surprise. It confuses Zhongli, but he just smiles amusedly when he notices the same pair of red eyes staring at him. What an interesting fellow, that one.)

2.

At the tell-tale sign of students scurrying to their seats when the clock strikes seven, Hu Tao looks up from her unfinished mathematics homework and immediately puts said homework in her bag before the teacher can see.

After all, Monday morning means it’s economics at seven and economics at seven means a very grumpy Diluc with a cup of coffee out for murder striding into the class with intent in his steps and the thick economics book on the other arm.

Despite the scary aura and overall terrible terrible social skills, Diluc is very smart and very concise in delivering his lessons. Hu Tao kind of hates to admit that she has a perfect economics note, complete with the pretty lettering titles and colorful sticky notes, compared to her scrawly handwriting for history. After all, Diluc’s lessons are neatly arranged, going from one point to another clearly, and the things he says are interesting enough for Hu Tao not to sleep during class.

Zhongli on the other hand…

Hu Tao shakes her head, remembering the mess of storytelling Zhongli would do every time he’s trying to teach one timeline of history because, quoting Zhongli himself, “history can not possibly be seen through just one straight line. One event in history has causes and effects to and from other events and they all need to be understood at the same time for the context to make sense.” She disagrees in her heart, thinking that one event can indeed be told by itself without bringing the politics and economic conditions of the entire nation and what war was waging and which general in the other part of Liyue died honorably by the enemy’s blade.

(Xingqiu snickered at Hu Tao’s poor attempt at taking notes of Zhongli’s lessons and proceeded to doodle an amateur artist rendition of chonky Azhdaha at the corner of Hu Tao’s note with a tiny ‘kaboom!’ speech bubble on top of it.)

Half an hour into Diluc’s lesson, everything is going smoothly, until someone knocks at the door and Diluc grunts before putting his marker down and opening the door for whoever decides to interrupt his perfectly going class. Even Hu Tao has to blink a few times to go back to the real world from the immersive experience that is the supply and demand equilibrium by The Great Mister Diluc to register what’s happening at the door.

“Can I borrow Mister Razor for a moment?” Hu Tao hears Zhongli (it’s Mister Zhongli!) asking quietly at the door.

Hu Tao can hear it because her seat is right by the door due to her poor eyesight, her detest toward glasses, and her adamant refusal to be too close to whoever is teaching; hence the door seat because it’s close enough to the board but not close enough to the teacher (and of course because the seat allows her to listen in to interesting doorway conversations).

“What do you need him for? It’s my class time, he’s sitting in for my lesson,” Diluc retorts just as quietly, arms folded in front of his chest in either an intimidation method or a defensive stance, Hu Tao can’t really tell with this one.

Zhongli sighs at Diluc being difficult, catches sight of Hu Tao, and offers a small smile, making Hu Tao smile with her whole face in return and give a small wave back.

“I have an important matter to discuss with him. It won’t be long, I promise. He can always ask his friend if he misses something, right? That’s what classmates are for,” Zhongli tries again with some semblance of conviction this time, but Hu Tao has always seen Diluc as an immovable rock.

If Diluc says something, then it’s the truth, no matter how the students argue. Then again, Diluc is smart and he’s actually right 99% of the time.

(The 1% is that one time when a student debated him about something related to the basic concept of economics.

They took half an hour of class time and Hu Tao’s memories were too fuzzy to remember what it was about. Diluc had to leave the class without conclusion, but he came back the next day to call the student outside during another teacher’s class. Everyone sent their early condolences to the student, but said student came back unharmed, with a little smile on their face even, but refused to tell anyone about what happened.

A student eyewitness from another class said that Diluc compensated the student with something, said that he’s proud to be a teacher of theirs, and even smiled while patting the student on the head. The eyewitness testimony was immediately crowned as #1 of the Top 10 Horror Stories in The School. The story is still arguable to this day, some choose to believe it and some just don’t.)

“You’re disrupting my class, Mister Zhongli.” Diluc taps on the side of his arm, lips pursed. “Fine, you can have ten minutes. No more than that or you’ll have a problem with me.”

‘You’ll have a problem with me’? What teacher says that to another teacher? What will Diluc even do? Sumo wrestle Zhongli into the school pond?

“Of course.” Zhongli does a small mocking bow as Diluc rolls his eyes before calling on Razor—who is terrified out of his wits from being called by the red haired demon—and telling him to go with Zhongli.

After Zhongli leaves with Razor and Diluc closes the door again, said teacher walks to the desk and half-sits at the edge with arms crossed again.

“In economics, the trends of finance must be observed and recorded throughout the years. The result will then be calculated and used for the embetterment of the future. It can arguably be considered an aspect of history.” Diluc stares at the board where he has drawn some economic models and some notes for the students to jot down.

He’s getting off-topic, Hu Tao thinks, but that’s usually what happens when Diluc is in the mood to shade Zhongli. She, along with the rest of the class, along with the rest of the entire school, probably, has heard this kind of lecture from Diluc one too many times that it’s getting repetitive. Somehow, though, Diluc always finds a new argument to prove that history is, in fact, useless in itself.

(They’ve also heard the times Zhongli shaded Diluc’s subject, going even as far as saying that economics is a social construct that is more harmful than useful to humanity. He provided evidence by comparing the conditions of society in modern days to the one back in the Adeptal Era. There were apparently academic papers on the matter, discussing the what-ifs of a Mora-less society and how people care more about the economy not collapsing than about the poor.

Diluc almost published an academic paper debunking Zhongli’s claims, according to whispers going around in the school back then. Nobody knew the source of the claim, however, so the matter was quickly dropped.)

“But what do you do with the history that is in the curriculum? Forced to remember exact dates, months, and years something happened. What do you do with these information? Up until now, in daily life, have you ever needed to implement anything you’ve learned about the Archon War?” Diluc continues, looking at the students one by one, before averting his gaze to the door.

Nobody answers him and he takes it as a sign that everyone agrees.

Hu Tao disagrees with Diluc’s point of view, that history might not be practical, but it’s an aspect of human life that humanity has to cherish and understand. She prays that she doesn’t have to recreate the war strategies Morax used in the Archon War in her lifetime, but it’s good to know that something as marvelous as that had happened in someone else’s, to the people before her.

History makes her appreciate the ruins west of Liyue and the phenomenon that is Guyun Stone Forest.

She won’t argue with Diluc, though. He’ll just see right through her and find that it’s a piece of Zhongli talking from her heart.

“Okay, now pay attention.” Diluc snaps his finger and goes back to the whiteboard.

The class continues on smoothly and Razor comes back to the class unharmed exactly ten minutes after he was taken. It seems that there won’t be any problems today.

3.

The students’ favorite Zhongluc (yes, the pair has a ship name and no, it’s not ship-able, just makes it easier for everyone to refer to them when they’re gossiping around) moments are those when the two decide that the rest of the school doesn’t exist and they use the corridor of the school to argue about arguably important matters. They never look at the time, they could do it during class hours or recess, sometimes after the last bell has rung and students haven’t dispersed to go home yet.

Those two are pretty epic, Hu Tao thinks, when her ears vaguely register Diluc’s raising voice outside the classroom door at seven in the morning just as classes are about to start.

Ei, her chemistry teacher for the morning, stares disapprovingly at the door as she also hears what’s going on outside. For a moment, she stays silent and listens in on the heated conversation. It confuses the students, because Ei isn’t usually one to delay her class for anything.

Not even a minute later, the confused students are promptly notified by Zhongli’s voice raising above Diluc’s and oh, what a terrifying sound that is. Hu Tao shivers because his favorite Mister Zhongli can do that? What are they even arguing about? She only vaguely hears Diluc saying something about ‘student tardiness’ and Zhongli’s reply of “I’m the vice principal in charge of the students, they’re none of your business” — oh, that’s what this is about.

“They’re my responsibility as much as they are yours! Me focusing more on the academic aspect of the school doesn’t erase the fact that I’m also a teacher here, Mister Zhongli.”

“And I make the policies regarding students and deducting points off anyone’s disciplinary books.”

Their school implemented the concept of disciplinary books where everyone starts with a hundred points. The points can be deducted if someone violates the rules and can be added if someone gets an achievement. It’s unfair, Hu Tao thinks, because it’s very easy to violate a rule and very hard to get an achievement. If someone’s points drop below seventy, they need to meet the guidance counselor so they can look into the problem and fix it together.

(Admittedly, many of those students end up in Zhongli’s hands and get attached to said vice principal, refusing to meet the guidance counselor for further sessions.)

“I disagree with a lot of your policies, they’re too forgiving and the students don’t need to be coddled. They’re old enough, this is high school.”

“Feel free to file a revision proposal to Principal Venti, Mister Diluc. I suggest you stop pestering the poor student for being only a minute late and do whatever paperwork you have now.”

Ei sighs, distracting the students from their avid listening session and making them avert their gazes to her. “I suppose they’re having their usual problems with clashing opinions on work stuff. Not so professional, don’t you think?”

Some of the students let out a quiet giggle while Hu Tao just smiles, feeling a secondhand embarrassment for Zhongli. Perhaps this is why Principal Venti calls him a blockhead. Zhongli loves the students, but sometimes he forgets about his surroundings when he’s in a heated conversation with Diluc.

“Excuse me while I deal with this.” Ei sighs again before going out the class and closing the door behind her gently.

The action is a complete one-eighty from what she does after that.

“Have you two no shame? Go to whatever class you’re supposed to be teaching now or do your paperwork. You’re disturbing my students and you call yourselves vice principals? I will file a formal complaint to Principal Venti so he can evaluate you two and maybe this school will finally have peace with two less teachers.”

Miss Ei is #2 on the Top 10 Horror Stories in The School. She’s gentle, usually, especially to students. When someone has done wrong, however…

The voices die down after another moment, probably because Zhongli and Diluc are apologizing to Ei quietly and scuttling off to their respective businesses of the day. The students on Hu Tao’s row try to peek from the high windows of the class, but fail to catch anything as the conversations turn hushed and Ei is already heading back inside. They barely manage to sit back down before Ei opens the door with a sweet (yet a little murderous) smile on her face.

That’s a reminder never to mess with Ei ever.

Not a problem for Hu Tao, though, since she’s considered one of the diligent ones, always staying out of trouble even if she’s deskmates with Xingqiu who likes pranking people with his top class villainy manipulation technique.

If there’s a war, Hu Tao wouldn’t want to be on the other side of the battlefield from Xingqiu.

But speaking of war, it seems that the problem with Zhongli and Diluc this time wasn’t solved after they ran away from Ei in the morning. Hu Tao notices the unmistakable red hair of Diluc’s and the golden rim of Zhongli’s coat when she’s heading off to the canteen during recess. The two are in Zhongli's office, Diluc’s hands gesturing sharply while Zhongli has his arms crossed on his chest. Hu Tao can’t read lips, but the muted arguments sound like the one they had that morning.

Then, Hu Tao sees them again near the stairs when she’s going to the bathroom during one of the afternoon classes. Before the two can spot her, she backtracks and decides to go to the bathroom at the other end of the corridor. The frown on Zhongli’s face makes Hu Tao frown too, because what’s going on with them today?

It doesn’t stop there, because Hu Tao chances upon them when she’s walking across the parking lot and—wait for it—yes, they’re arguing again, in front of a fancy black car that probably belongs to Diluc since Zhongli often goes to the bus stop with Hu Tao after school. Seriously, how can someone debate about something non-stop throughout the whole day with an odd interval? Are they even still debating about the thing from this morning? Or have they been civil for too long since their last big argument that all the problems just come spilling out of both of them when they started raising their voices the first time this morning?

“Why does that sound like a marriage problem that will end in divorce?” Yanfei asks, because Hu Tao has been voicing out her thoughts in a jumble of rambling and Yanfei has been listening attentively while they walk together and witness the amusing event that is Zhongli-and-Diluc-arguing-in-the-parking-lot—that’s where students usually end up in a fist fight, actually.

“What?” Hu Tao asks dumbly, frowning when Yanfei points it out. “They don’t sound like an old married couple, though, more like reincarnated enemies. You know, like soulmates, except it’s reversed. They’ll meet in every lifetime, they’ll find each other, and they’ll fight or argue or whatever it is they’re doing until death do them part.”

Yanfei snorts and lets out an endeared laugh. “What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know.” Hu Tao inspects the two arguing teachers closer and sees the gestures shared between them. “Their arguments look like an old song and dance to me, like they’re already very familiar with it, a graceful back and forth of some sort, whether they realize it or not.”

“That’s a unique way of looking at it.” Yanfei hums, tilting her head and mulling over the thought carefully. “I’ve never seen it, but for some reason your words make sense.”

Hu Tao lights up. “Right?”

That’s exciting, Hu Tao thinks, that someone can understand her ramblings and agree with her. She casts one last look at Zhongli, wishing from afar that one day the two will find the middle ground and stop being so hostile towards each other. Because as far as she’s concerned, they’ve been like this since the first time she met them, back in freshman year. She’s now a junior almost becoming a senior, so that has been almost three years, right? Then again, she knows that they’ve been teachers there since way before that, so it’s probably been five or seven years or something.

They’re something of an urban legend in the school, really.

4.1

One of Hu Tao’s favorite pastimes is accompanying Bennett to the general store because he believes that she brings him good luck and who is she to say no to those sparkly eyes and fiery passion? Bennett admits that whenever he brings Hu Tao, all the products he needs for the week are always in stock and that’s a huge miracle to him. It’s amusing, Hu Tao thinks, almost like the universe is playing one big prank on Bennett—except no one is laughing and everyone who knows Bennett will be ready to fight the universe bare hand for what it does to him.

“Look, Hu Tao! The bread is on sale!” Bennett exclaims cheerfully, his eyes sparkling even more when he sees the bread display.

Hu Tao, who’s currently comparing the prices of milk, averts her attention to Bennett and smiles at the loaves. “Sweet! Don’t buy too many, though, bread expires pretty quick.”

Bennett still considers it a win since the bread was usually sold out if he went there alone. For his sake, Hu Tao double checks the expiry date and even asks the store clerk on duty if the tag on the bread is right, making her receive an odd look from said store clerk. She doesn’t care, she’s just looking after Bennett properly.

“Bennett, do you want cupcakes?” Hu Tao asks when they’re walking on the frozen food aisle with Bennett looking at the variety of frozen dumplings in the freezer. “I just remembered that Xiangling gave me a new recipe the other day and I want to try it.”

“Xiangling?” Bennett looks delighted. “Of course!”

“Alright then, help me look for cinnamon powder and compound chocolate,” Hu Tao orders him. “We’ll go to my place after this and maybe you can tell the others to come too.”

Bennett mock-salutes her and dashes off to the confectionery ingredients aisle, leaving Hu Tao who still has to get flour and sugar from a different aisle. It doesn’t take her long, especially because there aren't too many brands to compare prices with. She quickly takes the shopping cart and heads to where Bennett is supposed to be.

A whole lifetime of being mentally drained from doing thousands of mathematical problems couldn’t have prepared Hu Tao for the sight that greets her when she reaches the aisle Bennett is supposed to be on.

It’s Diluc, picking a box of coffee creamer from the shelf and laughing heartily at what his lover is saying.

His lover.

Before Hu Tao can think to walk back where she came, Bennett appears beside her and drags her to the side of the shelf away from Diluc’s line of sight but close enough so they can stalk their teacher.

Bewildered, Hu Tao looks at Bennett with wide eyes and intends to ask him. The moment she opens her mouth, Bennett shushes her with a pointer finger on his lips, asking her to stay quiet. Well, now that she thinks about it, Bennett looks as frazzled as her and probably won’t know about Diluc’s lover either.

How can they tell that it’s a lover? First of all, they’re holding hands, that’s adorable. Second of all, Diluc? Laughing like a man in love? He barely smiles at school, someone must have him under threat for him to laugh like that—or, well, under the influence of love, but details, details.

Said lover in question is taller than Diluc by a mere inch, dark hair tied up in a messy bun on top of their head, strands of stray hair framing their face beautifully, face bare with no makeup, and a pair of wire-rimmed glasses sitting precariously on the tip of their nose.

Hu Tao must admit that Diluc is one lucky man to have such a pretty human being like that as his lover, but how could that happen? Diluc seems to be just the most unlovable person ever. He’s not only grumpy towards the students, he’s also an enemy of the students’ most favorite teacher!

When the lover leans in to kiss Diluc’s forehead, Bennett almost gives them away by letting out a screech. Luckily, Hu Tao is quick to act and slaps a hand on Bennett’s mouth while pulling him back a little to avoid being seen. The little yelp did make Diluc turn his head, unluckily, so Hu Tao takes them away before the two lovebirds have the time to investigate the source of the noise.

On the list of things Hu Tao doesn’t expect to see in her lifetime, this must be somewhere at the top along with Xingqiu finally finding it in his heart to actually confess to Chongyun instead of pranking the poor guy every time he gets the chance to—

Now that she thinks about it, Xingqiu confessing sounds a hundred percent more likely, making this phenomenon of Diluc having a lover somewhat of a baffling progression. It should be a candidate for the Eight Wonders of the World—Seven? Is it seven or eight? Hu Tao isn’t sure, but that’s not the point.

“Was that real?” Bennett asks after he’s sure they’re far away enough from the teacher and his lover, fingers scratching his head in a confused manner.

Someway, somehow, Hu Tao kind of can’t answer that question. She’s starting to doubt her short-term memory instead. Maybe that wasn’t Diluc, maybe they both saw wrong, there should be more than one person with red hair like that, right? But Bennett saw it too and there’s no way the both of them are wrong.

Hu Tao opts to stare Bennett right in the eyes and nod solemnly. “Yes, Bennett. Mister Diluc with a lover, that’s right. Yes, of course it’s right, how could it not be right?”

Bennett laughs a little at Hu Tao’s forceful conviction, too frantic, almost like Hu Tao is trying to tell herself that in the mirror instead of Bennett. “Right, right, of course, yeah. Because he probably has a soft side beneath all that layer of doom and death, right?”

Hu Tao still doesn’t trust her memory, but she recalls Diluc’s crinkling eyes and scrunched nose, hand holding another’s so delicately that the adoration tucked between the intertwined fingers was palpable.

The aura it exuded was the exact opposite of what happened with Zhongli every time they fought. They’re not so much like reincarnated lovers as they are leaning more towards ex-immortals turned mortals spending the rest of their off-duty days with each other. They probably wake up in the morning on the same bed, spend ten minutes staring at each other because they must cherish everything they have, count their blessings, appreciate each other before everything is too late. There are probably those late nights spent in the kitchen baking cake and slow-dancing to old love songs, childish water gun fights in the grass lawn with white picket fence, and flower-growing in whatever kind of greenhouse they have.

“You mean, like an old married couple?” Bennett asks, because Hu Tao actually voiced all of that out and Bennett has been listening. “I think the term you’re looking for is an old married couple.”

“No.” Hu Tao purses her lips. “Ex-immortals spending the rest of their mortal lives together, because they’ve been in love for so long, but they were bound by duty or something and they can only be like this now.”

“Okay.” Bennett beams. “I’ll agree, they do seem kind of really into each other.”

They pay for their groceries and head to Hu Tao’s house with Hu Tao fulfilling her promise of baking cupcakes for Bennett and Bennett calling the rest of their friends over.

They don’t talk about what they saw.

4.2

Another day finds Hu Tao in Zhongli's office, inspecting the photo frames on Zhongli’s shelf. The photos are of a faceless body doing various things, mundane stuff like spooning breakfast cereal to more special occasions like a pretty shot during Lantern Rite, with xiao lanterns in the background and fireworks and all that. Whenever students ask about it, Zhongli smiles mischievously and says that those are photos of his lover. Nobody believes him because he doesn’t seem like a married man. Sure, he’s good with the students and he’s responsible with his duties to the school, but married?

Hu Tao is skeptical that Zhongli has a capacity for romance. His favorite parts of Liyue history are the wars, he argues like children in kindergarten with another teacher, and she believes that he wouldn’t know what flirting means even if someone hits him with a pickup line as big as a truck.

Staring at the ornamental silver band on Zhongli’s ring finger, Hu Tao decides to sit down on her usual chair across from him, leans to the table, and crosses her arms on top of it.

“Mister Zhongli, do you think Mister Diluc is capable of love?”

Zhongli almost spills his osmanthus tea over his entire paperwork at the question, making Hu Tao feel bad because her question is probably too laughable to be answered. Shouldn’t the answer be an absolute ‘no’?

Zhongli sighs and puts the tea cup down, making sure he gets them away from his precious paperworks. He then brushes off some invisible dust from the front of his shirt and looks up at Hu Tao.

“What makes you ask that?” Zhongli asks back and Hu Tao is grateful that Zhongli didn’t tell her off for being rude because that question was a little personal and it should be rude to talk about a teacher behind their back.

“Hmm.” Hu Tao taps her chin in thought. “Well, I was at the grocery store, right? With Bennett. I was accompanying him shopping for the week because he said that I bring him some semblance of luck. That’s great, don’t you think? It feels like smacking the universe in the face because Bennett can have good luck. He even got a loaf of bread on discount! Then we went looking for—”

Zhongli clears his throat. “What about Mister Diluc, Miss Hu?”

“Right.” Hu Tao drags her chair closer, because this feels like a matter of top secret national security breach to the universe she’s always known as her truth, but Diluc is an anomaly and she’s looking for answers. Right, her and her tangents. “We saw him laughing and holding hands with a lover, Mister Zhongli.”

Zhongli’s eyes widen as he’s thrown into a coughing fit, making Hu Tao feel bad for the second time because that must be too much of a shock for an old man like Zhongli, right? Luckily, Zhongli has put his tea aside, so Hu Tao doesn’t have to deal with the old man choking on his tea. She can’t possibly be charged for murder at such a young age, she still has much to live for!

“Mister Zhongli, are you alright?” Hu Tao asks, concerned, after the coughing doesn’t die down for another minute.

Zhongli raises a hand as if saying “I’m okay,” as he still coughs into the other hand.

So Hu Tao waits.

Thankfully, the old man survives and stops coughing.

“I apologize for that, Miss Hu.” Zhongli clears his throat and gathers his composure for the upcoming conversation. “But may I ask, did you recognize this… ‘lover’ of his, Miss Hu?”

Hu Tao shakes her head vehemently. “Why would I? It was this pretty human with dark hair in a bun, a pair of glasses, and a gentle aura or something. They made Mister Diluc laugh over a box of coffee creamer and the two were being generally mushy.”

For a second, Zhongli just stares at Hu Tao and blinks, then blinks again. What is that look supposed to mean? Hu Tao doesn’t quite understand, so she just stares back at Zhongli with confusion in her eyes. Is Zhongli trying to do telepathy?

“So, Miss Hu, you don’t think that Mister Diluc is capable of love?” Zhongli asks calmly.

“That’s not what I’m saying, Mister Zhongli, you know that.” Hu Tao purses her lips, the word ‘GUILTY’ might as well be pasted all over her forehead with the implications in her words, but she can’t possibly say that outright to Zhongli. “It’s just—” she gestures around weakly— “it’s just that he’s always either gloomy or scary whenever he’s around students.”

“So you do think that,” Zhongli accuses, an amused smile playing on his lips. “Do you want to know what I think, Miss Hu?”

Hu Tao nods eagerly.

“I think Mister Diluc puts up that tough front in school because he needs to be respected and wants to be taken seriously by his students. It’s a whole lot more work being kind and not getting trampled over by kids your age at school.” Honestly, Hu Tao is guilty of that notion, because she’ll whine if a kind teacher gives a small homework but accept quickly if it’s Diluc giving five pages worth of a summarizing task. “It works, doesn’t it? He instills fear in all of you, but I’ve seen the yearly academic reports and everyone’s grades for economics are constantly rising even if the exams are considered to be one of the hardest every term.”

“Oh.” A light bulb shines blindingly in Hu Tao’s head, asking to be noticed. “You mean, that’s his way of caring?”

Smiling, Zhongli nods. “When he patronizes the students for being late even by a minute, too, that’s because he believes that character is important and learning such since early in life will be beneficial in the future. There’s a decrease in student tardiness ever since he started roaming the halls in the morning before classes start.”

“You know a lot about him, Mister Zhongli.” Hu Tao blinks, resolutely not noticing Zhongli’s reddening ears at her accusatory tone.

“Well, when you’ve been arguing with someone for almost eight years, you get to know more truth than you’d like to admit.”

Eight years? Hu Tao’s mouth falls agape, surprised at the revelation and awed because how can someone stand that for so long? If someone starts arguing with her, she’ll cry because she can’t articulate her thoughts clearly and she believes that if there are clashing opinions, then they should go their own ways.

“Mister Diluc is a decent person, Miss Hu, but don’t tell him I told you that.” Zhongli clasps his hands and rests his chin on top of it. “So, yes, he’s capable of love.”

That’s the answer Hu Tao has been looking for ever since she stepped inside Zhongli's office earlier, but something doesn’t sit right with her. So maybe people care differently, but that doesn’t explain why Zhongli still argues with Diluc every time they get to. Zhongli’s conversation with her shows that he is fully capable of understanding Diluc’s motives, thoughts, and intentions, so why?

Well, at least, now Hu Tao knows why their debates look like a practiced dance over the years, she shouldn’t mull over this too much.

Hu Tao is out of brain juice to think anyway.

5?

In the quiet atmosphere of the morning, Hu Tao usually finds herself roaming the empty school ground before deciding to head to her class. It’s not about her being too diligent, but about how the bus she has to take from her house to school is either the very early one or the one that will land her in detention with Diluc due to tardiness. That’s not a problem, being able to enjoy the school ground with no other students is refreshing anyway.

Sometimes Xiangling also comes to school early and they could compare homework answers before class starts, but it seems that today Hu Tao will be alone. So she walks across the yard, down the bleachers, and then through the entire first floor hallway.

When Hu Tao reaches the second floor, she doesn’t expect that someone would already be there, but she hears hushed voices from the principal’s office.

There’s no way a student is getting detention at this hour, right? As far as Hu Tao knows, even the principal doesn’t come to school this early, except on some occasions.

Curious, Hu Tao snoops closer to the principal’s office and gets taken aback when she sees that the door is open wide enough for her to look at two figures huddled over the chairs of the waiting room and—

How could she not be shocked? It’s Diluc with his face buried on Zhongli’s neck, one of Zhongli’s arms around him and the other one combing through his crimson locks.

‘Is this even legal?’ Hu Tao thinks hard, brows furrowing deeper than they have ever furrowed before.

It seems as if Zhongli is trying to console Diluc rather than anything else. The scene makes Hu Tao admire Zhongli a little more, because Zhongli must be so so kind that he’s willing to comfort his enemy (debate friend?) of eight years.

The air carries bits of their hushed conversation, but Hu Tao can only hear something along the way of “it’s my fault”, “maybe I should stop”, and “everything will be alright”. They’re probably talking about student problems, maybe about grades or the seniors’ college applications? Hu Tao recalls from somewhere in her brain that Diluc deals more with the academic aspect of things as one of the vice principals.

When Hu Tao vaguely hears a “thank you” and sees that the two teachers have shifted from their positions, she decides to go back the way she came and descends the stairs back to the first floor.

The rest of the day goes relatively smoothly, without a hitch in the matrix, and it makes Hu Tao wonder if what she saw this morning was a mirage her brain conjured up from thinking too much.

Then again, Diluc looks a little more disheveled than usual when he walks inside her class, his normally pristine shirt unbuttoned at the top and revealing a chain around his neck with a suspiciously familiar ring hanging from it. The students in the class see it and start whispering among themselves, but Chongyun is kind enough to tell Diluc about it and the teacher thanks him before buttoning his shirt properly.

Also, the coat Diluc is wearing… Oh, isn’t that Zhongli’s coat? The dark hue and golden rim is unmistakable. Hu Tao has gone to Zhongli's office and seen the same coat hanging from the back of Zhongli’s chair too many times that there’s no way she wouldn’t recognize it.

That’s cute, Hu Tao thinks, that the two teachers are actually close enough as enemies for Zhongli to lend his coat to Diluc to make the economics teacher feel better after the breakdown she witnessed this morning.

Maybe they’re not as hostile to each other as everyone thinks.

5…

Though, honestly, Hu Tao would like to take that statement back and shove it down his hopeful brain only a week after.

Dragonspine is unforgivingly cold. Yanfei has been sneezing non-stop since they arrived at the entrance two hours earlier, Xingqiu is bundled up in Chongyun’s thick hoodie, while said crush is happily shaping snow into little ducklings with his bare hands with only a thin shirt on his person. Xiangling has been trying to sneakily offer a jueyun chili to Razor and Bennett is debating her for the sake of Razor’s safety because yes, it’s cold, but he doesn’t think that Razor can handle a jueyun chili no matter the condition.

Hu Tao has no problem with the cold since she wears enough layers and Xingqiu insists that he needs to hold her hand inside his hoodie pocket or else he’d die from the injurious (Yanfei’s word) weather. She sees the simmering jealousy in Chongyun’s eyes whenever he looks back and sees Xingqiu laughing at Hu Tao’s dumb jokes (the cold might have made Xingqiu malfunction). That’s their problem, Hu Tao thinks, as Xingqiu leans against Hu Tao’s shoulder for support when he almost slips from the ice.

What’s Hu Tao’s problem, however, is the fact that some teacher assigned Zhongli and Diluc to supervise her class on this journey. Why, pray tell, must her class bear the brunt of that blunder? The two have been arguing over the Dragonspine map for an hour and Hu Tao is sure both of them are wrong. Well, at least, the heated back and forth should keep the two of them warm.

But what about the students!

As much as Hu Tao adores Zhongli and respects Diluc, she can’t let them continue on like that for the whole journey. They need to find a specimen for Albedo’s biology lab, none of them has enough body heat to brave the Dragonspine cold for more than three hours, and Hu Tao is sure that some of his classmates have gone half-insane, half-frozen like those snow boars they saw on the way.

“This is the right way, Mister Zhongli, you should trust my instincts and look at the way we’re going. The ice under our feet is traversed a lot and there’s a cave up ahead.”

Instincts! Nobody reads a map with instincts, Mister Diluc! Hu Tao heaves a frustrated sigh as she listens in on the conversation behind her, making Xingqiu turn to look at her curiously. Hu Tao looks back at Xingqiu with a disbelieving glare and he understands immediately, lips curving up into a smile as he stifles a laugh.

“It’s entertaining to listen to their arguing, Tao,” Xingqiu whispers in Hu Tao’s ear, loud enough for her to hear, but quiet enough for the two teachers not to and for Chongyun to flare up in more jealousy.

“It usually is, yes,” Hu Tao agrees, but starts stomping her steps. “But it’s, what, something something below zero degree and they’re still doing this? Can you please teach them how to read the map?”

“No, no, we’re clearly supposed to be heading the other way, that’s where the pine forest is, the one Mister Albedo pointed out back in school.”

Xingqiu shrugs. “I don’t know, I think they should figure it out themselves. I don’t get paid to supervise our class.”

They’re still at the foot of the mountain, Bennett for some reason leading the way around while the two teachers are preoccupied at the back of the group. Hu Tao is not sure how much longer it’ll take before someone gets into trouble. See, there’s that frozen lake near them and a bunch of high schoolers without supervision would—

“Mister Zhongli! Mister Diluc! Help! Sucrose is stuck on a block of ice in the middle of the lake!”

—Hu Tao totally jinxed that, totally, like, totally.

“What the fuck,” Diluc curses under his breath and well, that is entertaining, Hu Tao thinks, but her classmate is in danger and that kind of makes her too dizzy to appreciate Diluc’s little slip.

Before Hu Tao can register anything, Diluc already throws the map at Zhongli and runs toward the general direction of the lake, ignoring Zhongli’s terrified yells. The group of students have fallen into chaos, with everyone talking over each other and no one knowing what to do about the situation.

Sucrose is trembling terribly on the ice, legs almost giving up but she can’t sit down in fear of the block of floating ice giving in below her. What even happened? Hu Tao didn’t pay attention to her classmates, but someone must have pushed her there, because Sucrose isn’t one to get in trouble on purpose.

With quick thinking, Diluc brings over a floating log and bridges the distance between the solid ground and Sucrose’s block of ice. He then takes off his black fur coat and heroically starts walking across the log to get to the student.

Chongyun and Razor immediately go over to the edge of the lake and hold on to one end of the log, making sure Diluc won’t lose his balance and fall into the cold cold depth of the icy water. The rest of the class cheer the teacher on and try to console Sucrose from afar with their words alone. Honestly, Hu Tao is more impressed by the fact that Diluc knows the log won’t sink under his weight—but then again, it’s a pretty big log, but, hold on, how did Diluc even lift that log up and bring it there in the first place? He must be so strong.

When he reaches Sucrose, Diluc has to convince her that it will be okay and to trust him on the way back, because he can’t have her hesitate or they’ll both fall into the lake. Amidst the loud chattering, Hu Tao can’t hear Diluc’s words to Sucrose, but she sees Diluc’s gentle hold on Sucrose’s hand and she’s sure that this is that lovable version of Diluc, the one that is kind enough with a soft gaze and the capability to feel positive emotions.

This is how Diluc cares.

After a moment, Diluc hoists Sucrose up and carries her, Sucrose holding on tight to Diluc’s neck, and Hu Tao is reminded of those scenes in the superhero movies Yanfei always drags her to on the weekends whenever they’re free and there’s a new release on the theater. Diluc is pretty cool, red hair flowing in the icy wind, strong arms keeping Sucrose safe, and determination clear on his face.

With the whole class’ heightening cheer of “Yeah Mister Diluc!” and “Be careful!” and “You can do it!”, Diluc walks back across the log confidently, albeit more slowly than when he walked the other way.

“Here, take Sucrose,” Diluc orders as he has almost reached the side of the lake.

Bennett moves closer to hold Sucrose’s hand and Razor, forgetting that he’s supposed to keep the log balanced for Diluc, moves to help him and pull Sucrose over. The class screams at him, but he doesn’t notice, and alas—

With Chongyun’s loud gasp and slipping grip, the log Diluc is still on turns over and pulls Diluc into the water. The loud splash surprises everyone and while Sucrose is safe and getting comforted by Yanfei, the teacher disappears under the water in a flurry of untied red hair and ripples on the surface.

“Move!”

Before any of the students get to do anything stupid, their history teacher does it first.

Zhongli jumps into the water with full suit still on and gets a firm grip on Diluc, effectively stopping his flailing and bringing his head back above the surface.

The class isn’t sure what is actually going on, but someone did yell something like “Mister Zhongli, no!” right before Zhongli jumped earlier. Now? Now, the class is too stunned because what are these two foolish teachers doing, seriously. Zhongli couldn’t have just pulled Diluc over from the ground with a stick or a rope or something?

A hissed protest comes out of Diluc’s lips, but it’s incorrigible from where Hu Tao is standing and Zhongli turns a deaf ear to it, icy glare piercing through Diluc before he swims back ashore with Diluc’s added weight.

“Are you stupid!” Hu Tao flinches when she hears the first thing that comes out of Diluc’s mouth is an insult.

But then, Diluc strips Zhongli’s coat off of him, baffling the whole class, before throwing said coat away and taking his own fur coat. He puts the fur coat on Zhongli’s shivering form and cups Zhongli’s cheeks with his hands.

“I can handle the cold, you can’t,” Diluc says, anger still evident in his voice, though the tone is much gentler than usual.

What is she not getting, Hu Tao wonders, about these two teachers? She should have figured out what’s going on, right? They always fight at school, but Zhongli understands Diluc and Hu Tao has seen one occasion where Zhongli comforted him for something, and Diluc is supposedly married, if the ring hanging from the chain around his neck means what she thinks it means.

“Are you stupid!”

That… suspiciously doesn’t sound like an insult and more like something that comes from a place of care.

They don’t sound like an old married couple, though, more like reincarnated enemies.

They’re not so much like reincarnated lovers as they are leaning more towards ex-immortals turned mortals spending the rest of their off-duty days with each other.

Hu Tao’s eyes widen. “Oh.”

Before Hu Tao can tell anyone about her revelation, Diluc speaks up.

“Kids, go back to the bus. I need to find Miss Kokomi first,” Diluc instructs, loudly enough to be heard by everyone, his arms now holding Zhongli tightly, probably trying to shield the other teacher from the cold even if he’s the one that fell into the lake first. “Hu Tao, I trust you to lead the way back. Barbara, can you give me a hand?”

Barbara dutifully follows Diluc to walk the other way while Hu Tao is stuck with the rest of her classmates. Yes, she can lead the way back, she actually memorized the path they went through to get to where they are now because she focused on the ground below her feet while Zhongli and Diluc were arguing about reading the darn map.

“Come on, everyone,” Hu Tao says, trusting everyone not to make any more trouble after they lost both their teachers to Dragonspine’s icy lake.

Bennett and Razor take up their duty to walk behind the group, Razor still feeling guilty about what happened because he let Diluc slip, Bennett consoles him and tells him it’s alright, disasters happen. Xingqiu takes his place beside Hu Tao, stealing her hand to hold again in his—Chongyun’s—hoodie pocket for warmth, while Chongyun grumbles behind them.

Hu Tao still doesn’t speak of the epiphany that befell her earlier, she thinks that her friends aren’t ready for that yet.

+1

The truth about the incident reveals that Scaramouche, the class’ resident bad guy, had played a prank on Sucrose and ditched when he realized that he had landed her in trouble. He’s now suspended for a week after listening to an hour of fiery lecture from Diluc himself at the principal’s office because Principal Venti is too soft to reprimand anyone like that.

Yes, apparently Diluc is fine after falling into the lake, but Zhongli is now lying in a hospital bed from a terrible cold after getting back from Dragonspine. The students were forced to go back to Liyue with Ei instead, while everyone was worried about their two supervising teachers.

“Now now, don’t be noisy.” Yae Miko, their homeroom teacher, is now accompanying Hu Tao’s class as they go to the hospital to see Zhongli together. 

Razor is holding a huge bouquet of colorful flowers personally handpicked by everyone in the class while Xiangling carries a basket of various fruits for the sick teacher. The two of them lead the class to Zhongli’s floor at Yae Miko’s directions, though Yanfei keeps teasing poor Razor about are you sure we’re going the right way? This looks like the hospital wing for children, look at the decorations!

Eventually, Bennett gets Yanfei to shut up by slapping a hand on her mouth and threatening her by saying that he could transfer his bad luck to anyone at any time, effectively making her stop talking.

“Alright, this is the room.” Yae Miko makes them stop in front of room number 225 after walking through the hallways for half a minute and turning the wrong way earlier. “Knock first.”

Yanfei volunteers and gives an enthusiastic knock to the door, making the mistake of not waiting for an answer before pushing the door open, exposing them to the view of their lifetimes.

Zhongli is lying on the hospital bed, a needle of IV drip attached to the back of his right hand, but he’s awake and laughing about something instead of sleeping like anyone would think remembering how terribly cold Dragonspine was, even without dipping into the water.

That’s not the life-changing part, however, as Diluc is inside the room.

Correction, Diluc is lying on the bed beside Zhongli, one arm supporting his weight, while the other resting on Zhongli’s chest and playing with Zhongli’s strands of hair. Diluc’s eyes sparkle the way they did back in the grocery store when he was with his lover, and Hu Tao’s earlier realization brought her to the lack of shock she feels in the moment.

They’re staring into each other’s eyes, disgustingly in love, as fondness seeps into the way Diluc’s fingers play with Zhongli’s hair and lips curving into a lazy smile. The hospital bed is small, it shouldn’t fit two grown adults freely, but they seem to make it work with how they don’t mind the lack of personal space. The length of Diluc’s body meld seamlessly to Zhongli’s, legs entangled and hips attached to each other.

So this is why Zhongli thinks Diluc is capable of love, huh.

The cherry on top is arranged perfectly on the cake when Zhongli’s laughter dies down and Diluc leans in to leave a kiss on his forehead.

Effectively, it also shatters the moment because Bennett can’t help the screech that comes out of his mouth, surprising the two teachers caught in the act.

Diluc actually falls off the bed and onto the floor because of that, with Zhongli looking at him concernedly, before turning to address their intruders.

Yae Miko seems mildly unimpressed and clucks her tongue. “My, Mister Zhongli, in front of the students? My poor class shouldn’t have to see that.”

“I apologize, Miss Yae, I didn’t hear the knock.” Zhongli smiles, showing nowhere on his face that he feels guilty for what happened. “But hello, kids.”

The addressed kids all just gape, not believing how casual Zhongli sounds after just— getting caught with— doing— well, shocking. Is that shocking? Should that be a surprise? It kind of does make the world feel a little tilted on its axis, kind of real but unreal, kind of like something that should be a huge breaking news on the front page of an international newspaper.

“You— Mister Diluc— we— we saw you— what?” Bennett tries to articulate everyone’s thoughts, but fails.

“Mister Diluc is your boyfriend?” Xiangling asks in his stead, way more articulately and to the point.

Mulling over the question, Zhongli heaves a sigh and smiles some more. He opens his mouth to answer, adoration spilling from his whole being—

“Husband,” Diluc answers, appearing from the other side of Zhongli’s bed where he fell off to earlier and dusting his coat—no wait, Zhongli’s, that’s Zhongli’s, the golden rimmed one. “And hello, children.”

Beside Hu Tao, Chongyun is starting to malfunction from the information, Xingqiu gapes so wide he has to cover his mouth with his hand, Sucrose looks a little faint, while Yanfei is still holding on to whatever sanity she still has now. No, they don’t look too good, meanwhile Yae Miko takes her liberty and walks inside to take her place on the sofa under the window, sitting down with one leg across the other.

Hu Tao follows Yae Miko’s lead and walks into the room, her classmates following her and crowding Zhongli’s bed.

“Since when? I thought you two are, like—” Bennett is finally able to ask semi-properly, though he has to gesture around wildly as he is still shaken— “so, the photos on Mister Zhongli’s shelf…?”

And that pretty human back in the grocery store. Darn, that was Zhongli? Of course it was Zhongli. The descriptions match, somehow. Zhongli usually comes to school with no glasses, red eyeliner on, and his long dark hair always tied in a low ponytail. No wonder both Bennett and Hu Tao couldn’t recognize him like that.

Diluc clears his throat, a tinge of pink starting to dust his cheeks as he bravely reaches down to take Zhongli’s hand in his. More than happily, Zhongli accepts it and intertwines their fingers together.

Disgusting.

“I told you those are photos of my lover, right? I even have a ring on my finger.” Zhongli lifts up the hand that has the needle attached to it and the ring sitting prettily on the finger.

“We thought you were joking,” Razor says, blinking innocently at the ring that is clearly a wedding ring instead of an accessory ring with a poorly thought placement.

“He doesn’t joke about things like that,” Diluc says, smiling and throwing the entire class into another heart attack. “Are those flowers for Lili?”

How, pray tell, can Diluc be so calm about the whole thing and even calling their Mister Zhongli Lili while the students are going through a collective existential crisis at the moment?

“Yes! These are for Mister Zhongli, we’re sorry about what happened in Dragonspine.” Razor hands over the bouquet to Diluc, who has to let go of Zhongli’s hand momentarily to take it and put it on the bedside table, making Zhongli visibly pout at the loss of warmth.

Disgusting.

Their hands immediately find each other again after that and Xiangling, decidedly not wanting to witness that again, just announces that the basket of fruits is also for Zhongli and puts it on the bigger table across the room.

“All of you seem to be taking… this—” Zhongli gestures in the general direction of Diluc and their intertwined hands— “well.”

“Trust me,” Hu Tao starts, “we’re not taking it well at all, we’re just too shocked to say anything.”

Zhongli laughs at that with his whole face, lips open wide, nose scrunching, and eyes crinkling. It seems to make Diluc look at him in fondness, a gentle smile perching on his lips at the view.

Disgusting.

“They actually were enemies until two years ago, you know,” Yae Miko chimes from her throne of a sofa, her person almost forgotten in the whirlwind romance that is Zhongli and Diluc. “Then, they just get married and pretend they’re still enemies.”

“That’s not what happened,” Diluc retorts.

“That’s what happened.” Yae Miko smiles that foxy smile of hers.

Zhongli grimaces. “That is kind of what happened.”

Diluc heaves a sigh. “Look, Lili is too prideful to admit that he fell in love with me because I question his every decision, that’s why we’ve been keeping it under wraps.”

“You don’t want the students to see that you have a soft side and patronize you back when you chide them for your military training,” Zhongli retorts. “That’s why we’re still fighting in the school hallways.”

“It’s your fault,” Diluc laments jokingly, then brings Zhongli’s hand up to his lips to kiss the back of it. “Now they won’t take me seriously because they saw me cuddling and kissing their favorite teacher.”

Disgustiiiiiing.

“You’re secretly their favorite teacher too, look at how easy you make economics look.” Zhongli sighs, that lovesick look not leaving his features anytime soon, as it’s still visible even when he averts his gaze to the still stunned students. “Please pretend that you guys still fear my dear Lulu, okay?”

Hearing the other nickname from Zhongli isn’t less terrible, especially since it’s aimed towards Diluc and what the heck? Lulu? What kind of— what kind of atrocity is Lili and Lulu? They sound like they come from a Sunday morning kids program, the one with a lot of singing and silly learning of the ABC.

“Personally, I’m still scared of Mister Diluc,” Bennett squeaks and then immediately slaps a hand over his mouth, probably not meaning to say that out loud.

Instead of chiding him, Diluc laughs, which probably only scares Bennett even more.

“Well, I still disagree with a lot of your policies, Mister Zhongli.” Diluc purposely reverts back to his formal addressing of Zhongli. “But arguing with you all day is starting to get tiring when I know that I can be kissing you instead.”

“Ew, Mister Diluc!” Yanfei whines, decidedly having enough of Diluc’s mushy side. “I can’t see this anymore, please give me twenty pages worth of a summarizing assignment instead.”

Hu Tao’s other classmates disagree as Diluc jokingly threatens to give them exactly what Yanfei wants.

While they’re there, the students finally decide to sit down on the floor, inviting Zhongli’s protest, but nobody cares because Zhongli can’t do anything about it and they want to hear about the story of how they got together and why they’ve been hiding it from everyone.

Zhongli was a teacher at the school first before Diluc came along eight years ago. Apparently, Zhongli has been the principal instead of Venti back then. As a person with a strong personality and no fear of voicing out his opinions, Diluc questioned a lot of Zhongli’s—the school’s—rules, systems, and policy. Feeling that the school had been fine before Diluc, of course Zhongli stood up to the doubt and argued back.

“We gave every teacher a headache during every meeting because we wouldn’t stop fighting.” Diluc chuckles. “You were there, right, Miss Yae?”

“I was always on the front line, holding Ei back from murdering you both.” Yae Miko clucks her tongue and shakes her head. 

The teachers breathed a sigh of relief when Zhongli’s period ended, but then Venti became the principal and appointed the two as vice principals. In all honesty, it was a great strategy because Venti could just listen to Zhongli and Diluc’s arguments, do the thought process of the two’s suggestions himself, and then fix the old policies and implement new ones.

“The rest was a blur,” Zhongli interrupts before Diluc could get to the part where they run away into the sunset, get married, buy a house with white picket fence, adopt a kid and two dogs, and never look back on their old lives.

“No, no, it wasn’t.” Diluc smiles mischievously, making Zhongli groan and—is he blushing? Ugh, people in love, disgusting. “We ran into each other in Inazuma during the holidays, decided that it would probably be for the best if we started getting along, and actually spent that summer together.”

“Still my favorite summer,” Zhongli mumbles, almost inaudible to the students, but enough for Diluc’s smile to widen.

“He asked to court me after that.” Diluc stifles a laugh. “Turns out he’s kind of really into me when we’re not at each other’s throats.”

Xingqiu hollers and falls onto Yanfei’s lap beside him.

“Mister Zhongli,” Hu Tao says disapprovingly, “This is not the Adeptal Era, why would you ask to court someone?”

Diluc hums in a mockingly thoughtful way. “He’s a history nerd and a lovesick fool, I guess. But he really did do the proper courting method; flowers, gifts, even a serenade. He wouldn’t kiss me until the tenth date, I was tired of waiting.”

“They don’t need to know that.” Zhongli’s eyes widen as he slaps Diluc’s shoulder, the latter not even flinching and only smiles playfully at Zhongli.

“We definitely don’t,” Chongyun mumbles from beside Hu Tao, his face redder than she has ever seen before, and she mercifully takes a folding fan from her pocket and starts fanning Chongyun with it.

“Anyway, I got down on one knee and ruined his entire courting.” Diluc shrugs. “He accepted, but sulked for an entire week.”

Xiangling lets out a low whistle and claps. “That’s adorable though! Congratulations on your marriage, even though it’s very very late.”

“So by the time we were freshmen, you two were already married?” Xingqiu asks.

“We weren’t when you just started, but we were when you’re on your second semester,” Zhongli answers.

That’s ridiculous, Hu Tao thinks. Then again, maybe it’s not. Them being lovey dovey at school must be considered unprofessional, right? So they were just fulfilling their duties as teachers and vice principals by doing their work right. Does doing their work right mean they should still argue all the time? Probably not, but maybe they got used to it from their days of being uncivil towards each other.

Maybe the fights symbolize their love, who knows.

“Top ten anime betrayal,” Yanfei pipes up. “Can we tell everyone about this?”

Zhongli and Diluc look at each other, conversing through their gazes alone, one pursing his lips and the other smiling mischievously.

“Yeah, about that…”

+1 +1.

“...Then, out of nowhere, Xingqiu just blurted out that he loves Chongyun! He went on and on about how pretty Chongyun is and how tender and how calm and how much he wants to hold Chongyun’s hand. I mean, that’s cute, right? But poor Chongyun was standing there behind Xingqiu, confused and admittedly redder than Xiangling’s jueyun chili, just listening to Xingqiu droning about his feelings. But then—”

Zhongli clears his throat from the doorway, making Diluc and Hu Tao turn to look at him from where they’re seated in Zhongli's office. It effectively cut off Hu Tao’s animated retelling of the events from the other day, making her pout. Meanwhile, Diluc doesn’t mind at all, he’s happy to see his husband in the room.

“Sorry to cut your story short, Hu Tao, but we can go home now, I’m done with my business.”

Hu Tao beams and jumps from her seat. “Okay Mister Zhongli!” She turns to look at Diluc. “Let’s go Mister Diluc, I can tell you more about it on the way.”

It turns out that Zhongli doesn’t take the bus, he only walks Hu Tao to the bus stop and walks back to the school to go home with Diluc’s car. It’s a miracle nobody has seen them go home together, Hu Tao thinks, since they’re not exactly being subtle.

Diluc wears his ring on his finger like Zhongli now, announcing that he wants everyone to know who the favorite teacher belongs to.

Funnily enough, Principal Venti had to reprimand the two teachers for causing a commotion a few days back.

As per usual, they had been arguing in the middle of the school yard with everyone watching. It was after school, but they were so loud that the students couldn’t possibly miss out on it by going home early. Even some of the teachers were watching the two from afar, in case the argument turned ugly and they had to step in before the students saw anything.

Truth be told, it’s not Zhongli’s fault that Diluc looked beautiful under the late afternoon sun, pink dusting his cheeks from the exertion he did arguing, and crimson strands falling over his face just right.

In the middle of arguing, Zhongli had cupped Diluc’s cheeks and kissed him right on the lips in front of the whole school.

Hu Tao doesn’t really want to talk about it, but the whole school won’t let it go, and Diluc is kind of getting softer so that’s a win.

The three of them are walking to the front gate now, Zhongli and Diluc intending to walk Hu Tao to the bus stop together before they go home, because Zhongli insists that if Hu Tao doesn’t want to take a ride with them, then they should at least make sure she’s going home safe. And Diluc? Diluc just wants to know more about this student who is allegedly Zhongli’s favorite, so he comes along on their after school sessions now.

Watching Diluc and Zhongli conversing like an old married couple (Bennett’s words; Hu Tao still believes that they’re kind of like the immortal-turned-mortals that fell in love) while holding hands and walking in front of Hu Tao gives her a realization that maybe she’d want something like that too one day. Not now though, she’s still too young for that.

And, ah, Diluc seems to be perfectly capable of love if it’s Zhongli’s heart he’s holding.