Chapter Text
Shinmyoumaru’s room was dimly lit only by the light of her laptop screen. Typing while wearing a thick jacket wasn’t exactly the most comfortable way of going about things, but she was too invested in what she was doing to go downstairs and turn the thermostat up.
Tomorrow, the hellfires would begin roaring again, heating the underground up to a degree that was comfortable enough, but not quite the weather where most people are out and about. On that day, for the first time in ages, she would face the outside again.
That would surely make up for the less than usual amount of effort she put into self-maintenance today. It also worked very well against the subtle yet somewhat persistent guilt that weighed on her shoulders for spending her days leeching off her aunt, not even showing her face that much to the woman providing for her.
She smiled at her screen. ‘Miasma is typing…’
Shinmyoumaru could never feel too bad about her own situation, after all, she had someone like Miasma to share it with. To beat herself up over being a shut-in would discount Miasma along with her.
Having met two years ago in a public chat room, the two grew close, private messaging each other all day, everyday. They briefly held a voice call once while playing a game together, but ended up using the in-game chat function from then on. They also exchanged pictures sometimes. Miasma had once sent a dimly-lit selfie with her unkempt hair covering one of her eyes, and her sleeve covering most of her lower face. Despite not seeing much, Shinmyoumaru was smitten.
There was something undeniably cute about the girl on her screen. Her greasy black hair curled at the frayed tips, and a bit of her left eye still peeked out from under it. Oh, her eyes… they were red, just like Shinmyoumaru’s own eyes, but the colour flattered Miasma way more than it did herself. A tiny bright rectangle was reflected in that beautiful red, and in it, her own silhouette. Shinmyoumaru often cursed the quality of modern inchling cell phone cameras and how they did not allow her to zoom into Miasma’s reflection in her own eye.
The way she held her arm up to cover her face too, was somehow adorable. Her fingers poked out the end of her sleeve, clutching it to pull it somewhat taut over her thin arm. The way the outline of her arm showed in the picture felt intimate, somehow. It may not be much, but Shinmyoumaru didn’t have much to work with here.
As much as she loved the picture, she never pressed Miasma for another, for she knew how difficult it was to take just the one, as she had sent a similar picture. She took it laying on her bed, her camera angled to a bit to hide her body behind her head, and her arm similarly held up to cover her lower face with a ‘v for victory’ sign in her hand.
She put quite a bit of effort into having her at the time somewhat longer hair fan out on the bed in a way that was charming, and took dozens of pictures to handpick the most flattering one. She didn’t want to come across as vain, but she did want to show her best side.
‘Ooohh… cute ♡’ was the response from Miasma after one excruciating minute, which Shinmyoumaru would have never guessed was just that, were it not for the time signatures on their messages. Miasma was clearly online, but was presumably just looking at her photo for that entire accursed minute. The reply Shinmyoumaru eventually got made her heart stop. She saved a screenshot of it along with Miasma’s own picture.
There was some back and forth flirting between them, Miasma occasionally quipping about how her evil master plan of capturing Shinmyoumaru’s heart with her dangerous charms had begun to work. Shinmyoumaru often wondered whether all of it made Miasma’s heart flutter as much as it did her own, but never found it in her to ask. The two had never made anything ‘official’ as it were.
It was hard to tell whether Miasma’s playful jabs about wanting Shinmyoumaru for herself had some genuineness to it, but they tightened her chest just as much. After all, such feelings besides, the two shared everything. They never shied away from the miserable or grotesque, either. Indeed, there was no one else, not even her aunt, whom Shinmyoumaru trusted more than Miasma, or Seija, as she once revealed her real name to be.
Shinmyoumaru was known as Princess-chan, or just Chan, for short. She lamented that it didn’t sound quite as cool as ‘Miasma’ did, but it did lend itself to situations where Miasma would call her ‘my princess’. Situations Shinmyoumaru wasn’t all that pleased with, but she didn’t want to take that away from her friend by changing her nickname.
A muffled “Shinmyoumaru!” rung through the music she was listening to, so she perked up in her chair and took her headset off. Was that…?
“Shinmyoumaru!” the voice yelled, this time much easier to hear. “Co- ahem, coming!” she uttered her first audible words in about twenty four hours.
‘Ah, my aunt’s calling me to dinner… be back soon’
‘aa I should eat too… blegh dont wanna cook
what are you having?’
‘Shrug, I’ll make sure to take a picture for you though!’
‘share a bite with mee’
‘Yeah? What if it’s gross?’
“It’s getting cold!” her aunt yelled again.
“Sorry, I’m right there!” Shinmyoumaru stammered, getting up from her chair. She bent down to quickly type a last message to Miasma.
‘gtg now seeya!’
‘Miasma is typing…’ Ah, there’s no time to read her response right now! She rushed to wobble down the stairs, feeling a subtle pang of sadness in her stomach at leaving Miasma with such a short message. She didn't usually like using abbreviations much, they somehow feel less genuine. She didn’t notice it until the difficulty of walking down the stairs straight set in, but she was actually quite hungry. Shinmyoumaru took her plate from the kitchen and sat down at the table, across from her aunt. Stir fry with a side of chicken. She fished her phone from her pocket and took a picture.
“For Seija?” her aunt asked, smiling wistfully.
Shinmyoumaru felt a warmth creep up her neck, and simpered in return. “Yeah… thanks for the meal,” she said, noting in the meantime that it was actually quite warm here thanks to the running hearth. She took off her jacket and put it over the chair next to her.
“Before you’re gonna meet her tomorrow, remember to take a shower. You just unleashed quite the smothering scent!”
“Oh… uhm… I will, sorry,” Shinmyoumaru muttered. A smothering scent. Bad air, in other words.
The chicken was pretty good, she thought. Not that she could keep her mind off tomorrow’s meeting for long. She felt quite foolish, thinking about nothing but this girl, but truthfully there just wasn’t much more going on for her in her life. Her aunt was there to provide for her, but she was never much interested in what Shinmyoumaru had to say. As such, as much as it stings to admit it, her aunt was just a provider for her to feed off of.
“Will you do the dishes?”
“Hmph… okay.” Shinmyoumaru grumbled.
“Glad to see the enthusiasm!” her aunt stabbed the last few vegetables onto her fork and relished in their taste. Shinmyoumaru finished her meal not too much later and went to work on the dishes as her aunt let herself collapse on the couch with a big sigh and continued to watch the show that was on television. Once finished, Shinmyoumaru retrieved her phone and hurried back upstairs.
To shower first or to let Miasma know she was back from dinner and then disappear again… Hmmm… Shinmyoumaru opted for the latter, after all, she had made her friend wait long enough. She hurriedly tabbed into the messaging program while sitting down in front of her computer. The faint blue light felt inviting at that moment. She would have loved to sit there and bask in Miasma’s warm glow, but the prospect of speaking to her again was much more appealing. Her fingers began deftly moving across her keyboard.
‘Back! Had you waiting for a while there huh,’ she then remembered the picture she made and took her phone from her pocket to send it.
‘ooo chicken,’ Miasma’s response was almost immediate. It brought a smile to Shinmyoumaru’s face.
‘Did you cook yet?’
‘nah ended up ordering some pasta
if I stop replying for a sec its because the foods here’
‘What kind is it?’
‘uhh its just spaghetti with some kinda red sauce, nothing as fancy as what you were having’
‘There’s nothing that fancy about it lol’
‘far as I know you cant rly order chicken like that around here at least
maybe if youd go out idk’
‘Would be cool to eat out together, don’t you think?’ Shinmyoumaru hesitated for a moment to send that message. Was it too obvious? Or maybe it was too subtle? Who knew what Miasma was thinking, anyway?
‘huh? you wanna go out? and then what?’ her blood pressure must have doubled at that moment. She hastily began typing and deleting and retyping her denial before her dashing fingers stopped for a moment and began hammering the backspace key. She shook as she tentatively wrote something racier in response when the door to her room suddenly flung open. “Shinmyoumaru-” her aunt’s voice pierced through her chest and she audibly gasped and reached for the mouse, clunkily moving it to the minimise button, before turning to her aunt with an incredibly forced smile, as she only raised an eyebrow in response.
“What was that all about?”
“A-ah, sorry, what is it?”
“You left your jacket… here,” she tossed it to Shinmyoumaru who didn’t catch it so much as she braced herself for the impact of the jacket plopping against her guarding arms. Her aunt left without another word. Didn’t even close the door behind her. Dejected, Shinmyoumaru turned back to her keyboard.
‘To think I would have indulged you had my aunt not suddenly walked in,’ she sent. Miasma took a long while to reply in turn.
‘indulge me?
I was joking ahaha,’ she typed something else, but the prompt displaying as such soon disappeared. Shinmyoumaru frowned, still deeply embarrassed.
‘that deffo suuucks though… why I live on my own’
The two ended up chatting for hours as usual, Shinmyoumaru eventually having switched to using her phone while rolled up in her blankets. From the way they talked you’d almost think they weren’t going outside, Shinmyoumaru even feared for a second Miasma might have forgotten about it entirely. ‘Where do we meet again tomorrow?’ she suddenly asked, just to make sure it didn’t actually slip from Miasma’s mind. It’s past two already… She didn’t shower yet.
‘I’ll just come and pick you up from your house,’ Miasma said. ‘you can take my hand, I’ll take you somewhere cool. itll be romantic,’ Shinmyoumaru would take her hand as she asked, and they would walk together, Miasma’s greasy hair bouncing on her shoulders as they went on their way. ‘take my hand, okay?’ Shinmyoumaru’s blunt fingernails would lightly scratch Miasma’s hand as she took it, her hand subtly twitching but then holding onto Shinmyoumaru tightly. Miasma’s fingernails, what did they look like? Shinmyoumaru took her hand and together they walked. ‘I’ll take you somewhere romantic, itll be cool. no, itll be romantic,’ Miasma replied, the two of them would walk somewhere together. ‘take my hand, go on,’ she said. Alright already… Shinmyoumaru wanted to see where Miasma would take her, but here she was stuck taking her hand over and over.
Her cheek felt warm. Actually, more than anything, it felt sticky, she realised as a different kind of warmth caressed her eyes. She opened them only to wince and quickly close them again. Caressed? Make that ‘stung’. Shinmyoumaru propped herself up on her elbow and wiped the goo off her cheek before opening her eyes once more. Some drool, a ray of light, and her phone, still unlocked, lay there on her pillow. She craved nothing more than a sip of water, but first, she grabbed her phone.
‘we meet at the train station right?
its not that far from your house I think…youll be fine
hehe goodnight chan
morning! cant wait
seeya soon
in train rn’
Shinmyoumaru sighed. Ack… shower… she hopped out of her bed and discarded her clothes, flinging them haphazardly across the room. Once in the bathroom she leaned into the shower cabin to turn it on, quickly retreating to avoid the cold water pouring down. She put some towels in the sink and stepped into the shower once the temperature felt pleasant enough, letting some of the warm water pour into her mouth.
Miasma once said she liked her showers to be scalding. Shinmyoumaru slowly turned the heat up, throwing her hair back to get her wet, clumpy bangs out of her face. The hot water ran over her scalp, sending shivers through her spine. Does Miasma like the sensation of this water, or is she simply less sensitive than Shinmyoumaru is? She decided to turn the temperature down again before taking some shampoo and getting to work on her hair.
Her thoughts began to dwell on today's meeting. It felt different than it had yesterday, more real, somehow. That realness came with a whole lot of doubt. Would they both be the same in real life as they were online? Would they be alright out there? It dawned on Shinmyoumaru that she had no idea how the world has changed since she last went to face it.
No matter, none of it matters right now, did Shinmyoumaru have any idea what time it was at all? Miasma mentioned being on her train already. She came out of her shower, wrapping one towel around her chest and throwing the other around her neck. She briskly walked back to her room, wiping her hands on her towels on the way. Her body tensed up as she grabbed her phone and saw the time it displayed. Only about forty-five minutes until Miasma’s train was scheduled to arrive.
She quickly patted her body down, pulling some boxers upto her hips and forcing her slightly damp legs into some tights with great effort. She cursed any god she could think of as she fought against the fabric, plucking at her legs in an effort to stop the tights from gathering at her calves. Once victorious, she frantically looked around. Bra. Fuck, she hadn’t used one in ages! She thrashed around her drawers, only coming across bras from when she was in middle school. She did, however, find a small top. That would have to do.
Shinmyoumaru plucked a t-shirt and a stretchy skirt from her closet and put them on with all haste, deciding to take her jacket for good measure. She sped down the stairs, taking a look at herself in the hallway mirror and frowned deeply. It was never her intention to go around dressed in all black, but it just works well with every other colour, and so she ended up accumulating nothing but black clothing in an effort to avoid colour coordinating.
Putting her shoes on, she mentally went through a checklist of what else she would need to take with. Phone, wallet, keys, passport maybe? She couldn’t think of anything else, so she accumulated the stuff she thought of in a small backpack and approached the front door.
Today, she first noted how long her hallway was. It took her seven steps from the living room to the door. That’s actually not terribly much, it meant the outside was only seven steps away from the living room at any moment. Supposedly, there’s an even bigger ‘outside’ above the old hell where she lived. Shinmyoumaru couldn’t even imagine setting foot out there, and for now, she had to brave this outside.
She was right in front of the door, now. If she put her hand on this handle, she could push it open. Or would she pull it? Once she did that, she would be out. Shinmyoumaru took her phone from her pocket. ‘Waa… just got out of bed, but I’m on my way now. See you soon!’
Phew. With that, she really had to go, hadn’t she?
Deep breath. Whatever, she was going to do it right now. She tightly gripped the door handle, gave it a forceful push, then an even more forceful pull, causing the door to fling open, taking the wind along and almost knocking Shinmyoumaru back, had she not planted her left foot firmly on the floor. She stepped outside and shut the door behind her with a ‘bang’ before finally letting her breath go. Tentatively, she turned around, facing a small street adorned with flowers functioning as little shrubs in the inchling neighbourhood. It wasn’t much, but it was only the beginning. Her whispers could barely be heard over the chirping of birds.
“Did you read that, Miasma? I’m outside.”