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The fire still burned bright late into the night, though it had not been fed for some time. An ember popped and Serpico felt himself jolt. Embarrassing when he could hear Guts snickering from a few feet away. So he was still awake as well. The group had been traveling the far coast of Elfhelm on a quest Schierke was sent on. Somehow they all ended up following along. Before he could continue to ponder how he ended up here instead of in a nice bed, he felt eyes on him still lingering. “….What?” He asked, trying to keep an even voice.
“Nothing. You just always jump like that when the fire spits.”
Serpico stayed quiet. Something so small about him being acknowledged almost felt nice, but he would have preferred any other observation. He used a long stick to poke away a log that had fallen from the fire. The blackened wood crumbled under the branch.
It was unlike Guts to pry, was he only teasing him by mentioning it? It couldn’t hurt to talk anyways. They often chatted during the days now. It used to only be nights like this when they were the last awake that Gut’s seemed to take an interest in him, and not to talk at that.
“I have…seen fire destroy enough.” He discarded the stick by feeding it to the flames. It was so quickly swallowed whole. Turned into more sparks and smoke that choked the night air. How quickly they'd all been drawn in by Gut’s fire, and he didn’t even seem to be aware of it. He used to feel like he was sticking his palm closer and closer, waiting for his intuition to be correct and for it to burn. It never did. More like a warmth that had melted him slowly.
Yet an uneasiness never seemed to leave him completely. The idea of pity from anyone but especially from him made him feel ill. The air fell silent but Serpico was too tired to consider it awkward. He curled his knees in and rubbed his hands together.
“Well if you don’t like it. Why don’t you get a blanket or something instead of shivering your ass off in the corner every night? You can borrow my cape.” Guts got up.
“I can’t hear my shivering over your snoring so I hardly notice I’m doing it.” Serpico smiled as Guts came over to him. It was a small victory to know this conversation hadn’t turned him away.
“Yeah yeah whatever.” He sat down next to him and wrapped his long dark cape around him. Since their duel he’d expected to feel more terrified of the emotions bubbling to the surface. Normally he did not afford himself the luxury of considering his own feelings. At first he was frustrated. The lines between anger and infatuation were so blurred. A mess to unravel. Since making some peace with them he was more at ease than he’d ever been before. Serpico reached over to Guts. He gently placed a hand on his bicep and leaned against him.
The cloth draped around them was worn thin from use and repeated stitch jobs that were done by Serpico himself. He expected them both to fall asleep like that. The gentle sound of the last crackling embers and the water crashing in the distance to carry them off, but to his surprise Guts spoke again. “Why did you stand in front of me and Zodd that night? I would have been out of your way for good. You could have gotten yourself killed. Why would you try to save me?”
After the long day they’d had, was it really best to say anything more now? There were still too many feelings he did not understand and would not try too at whatever hour of the night it was. He opened his eyes to meet his gaze.
“Do I need a reason?”
The last thing he expected was for Guts to tear up, but the light catching his eyes was unmistakable. A shaky breath he felt through the man's chest must have tried to stifle tears from falling. He panicked, sitting up quickly and unsure what he’d said wrong. Surely he wasn’t so distraught by some sort of perceived rejection?
“Wait… I. Guts. I’m not here just out of obligation anymore. I realized how much I’ve come to feel for you since that night.” He said, prepared for the situation to worsen the second the words left his mouth. The impulsivity this man brought out of him continued to surprise him.
Before he could think of anything else to say in an attempt to mend a problem he didn't understand, he felt Gut’s lips on his own. He closed his eyes again and kissed him back. This wasn’t the first time they had kissed, but it said so much more- though that could be his newly found optimism speaking. At least Guts was not upset and for now that was enough. A hand in his hair felt almost shy as it combed through. Serpico never thought anyone would treat him so gently, and from someone he never would have expected not long ago. Terrifying in a way but worth the fear. Guts pulled away slowly and pushed his head down to rest on his leg.
“Just go to sleep already.”
With so much off his shoulders, for once he felt like he could. He would enjoy that feeling of calm while it lasted.