Work Text:
D sends Caline Dan’s information because she doesn’t know what else she can do to help Caline. There was something between them once upon a time, but then Caline fell in love and D had to move on so she did. She moved on to her boss.
Both of her relationships are absolute nightmares for a theoretical Human Resources department. She doesn’t care. She and him knew when to leave their relationship behind and focus on what was in front of them. It made it easy to keep things out when he slashed her budget for labs over and over, how is she supposed to scientifically educate her students if they never get to experience science? Her passion was first inspired by those labs all the way back in collège, she’d never want to do a science class without any labs. Especially chemistry, which she teaches.
But then again — it’s also simple enough to leave the disagreements at the door, when the two of them can just be. If it weren’t a secret, some people would probably ask her what the appeal was — and to that, she would say that for once, she gets to be the one in charge.
They like to keep things a secret. It’s easier, after all, if no one knows — if no one is aware that the two of them are in a relationship. D’s never told anyone. She doesn’t plan on telling anyone. What she has is clandestine and rare, and she doesn’t want to give it up anytime soon. She doesn’t know where she’ll go next if it doesn’t work out.
There are a lot of risks involved if the relationship between them doesn’t work out, including both of their jobs. But they’ve always been professional enough to get out of bed and be able to not even hint at their relationship during school hours. No stolen kisses in his office, no dalliances in her chemical storage room. (That’d be dangerous, anyways — she’d worry about knocking something over. Chemical burns are one way to put an end to any fun.)
Nothing that would let anyone find out about their relationship. That was one of the few things they both agreed on — that no one could find out. Ever. They didn’t agree on much beyond wanting each other — and wanting to keep their connection a secret.
To the world, they’re coworkers and nothing else.
He never feels like he has any sort of power over her. She’s unmatched, a force to be reckoned with. Of course he’s in a position of power over her when they’re working, but they keep their relationship and work separate, and it really isn’t that difficult to do so — not when he has to slash her budget and she snaps at him. He doesn’t regret it.
It’s hard to leave their anger behind, but they manage — or they get it out in other ways.
Not everyone could have a relationship like theirs. Not everyone knows how to leave their loving at one door and leave their anger at another. But the fact that not many could do it means that the two of them are capable, that they will manage it.
This isn’t the type of arrangement that lasts forever. He’s not really sure about whether either of them are really in love a lot of the time. But for the time they’re together, they’re in love, and that’s enough. The secrecy is bound to break them in one direction or another someday, but if he keeps thinking like that, it’s bound to happen, regardless of what he wants.
You look at him and you’re not sure what attracted you to him in the first place. Was it the casual familiarity of coworkers? Was it the desire for the kind of intimacy that comes with secrecy? Was it something more physical? You can’t answer the question. You know something — you know that you are together with him, and there is no taking back the decision you’ve made to enter this relationship.
Even if you were to end it now, there would still be lasting consequences as things like boundaries are renegotiated, as you and him figure out what to do now that you’re not orbiting around each other like binary stars. You’d have to figure out what you do outside of work, since you spend so much of that time with him right now, making up for all the time you lose while working together.
It’s worth it, though. You wouldn’t have anything else — even with all the fighting, you manage to leave your disagreements behind, and it makes what comes next all the more worth it. You’re not sure you love him. But you want to stay at his side — as long as he wants you there, too.
He thinks he loves her. She would probably ask for evidence — something scientific. But how can he prove his love? He thinks they’ve done enough proof of attraction.
But he's getting up there in years. The pension would be enough to make his retirement okay, and then they could go public. They’d have to lie, of course, and he isn’t just doing it because of her — he wants the threat of Andre Bourgeois to stop lingering over his head, for one, and he wants to get away from all this drama with the students.
So he doesn’t put in for his retirement because of her, but she accuses him of it anyways — of giving up his career for her. It’s the first work-related fight they haven’t been able to leave at work, because it's entwined with their relationship. He tells her that it isn’t because of her — it isn’t just because of her. He tells her all the other reasons for him to submit his retirement.
She argues based on average costs of living here, and he argues back that he gets a pension from the government as well as living off of inheritances.
In the end, they’re still together.