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Shin’s Melon-drama
Early morning is the busiest time at Sakamoto’s.
Aoi takes care of breakfast and rushes little Hana to school.
Lu, she often replaces her afternoon beverage with hard liquor, making her unfit next morningfor any duty that requires more than two brain cells.
And Sakamoto himself must get the register and stock ready for the day. Now that he got employees, he shouldn’t need to stress with all that. But who can rush to the street market to get fresh vegetables and such for both the house and minimarket?
“But mr. Sakamoto, early mornings are the worse.” complains clairvoyant assassin Shin. “Half of the people curse the working day ahead; some have naughty thoughts about the night before. They do it so strongly is hard to block. I don’t need any of that on my mind.”
And he instantly cringes at Sakamoto’s thoughts of killing him with a leek.
“I got it, boss. Why don’t we hire Heisuke Mashimo for the odd job?” Shin remembered the down-on-his-luck sniper “He can run errands and such.” He was glad for a minute capturing the approval from his boss, but…
“What? Teaching him? But, but…” an image of him being offed by a herring and two lychees was enough for Shin to agree. Plus, Sakamoto reasoning entered his head, Mashimo's chaotic thinking may help you block the morning bad thoughts all around.
“Aren’t we luck, Pisuke?” Heisuke was overjoyed, talking to his pigeon. “I got a job and you can eat all the discarded fruit at the market, yo!.”
“Yeah, yeah, we must hurry, the best options sell out fast.” cut Shin
“Pisuke can locate the best stand for each item.”
Shin didn’t answer, trying to block the chaotic thoughts from the would-be-sniper, arriving at him in form of childlike doodles. Still better than listening to the opinions about dozens of bosses and night parties.
So much he didn’t noticed the thoughts of an assassin disguised as street market vendor, looking distressed talking at his mobile.
“That’s not right” he said at his phone “How come Sakamoto’s still at his store?”
Months studying the target routine and schedule can’t be wrong. Learning he sent his employees to do the shopping instead, the criminal mind started to rush. Now there’s no guarantee Sakamoto would get close to the bomb. Still, he needs to try. Maybe setting the timer to detonate inside Sakamoto’s market, he and his partner could use the confusion to hit their chubby target once and for all. It may work. All he need to do is to open the fake melon again, add more 20 or so minutes at the timer, in order to…
The melon!
Turning his head, he noticed some old lady handling melon after melon, innocently looking for the ripest, but messing with the order he carefully set. Worst, there’s money in a corner of his table, meaning someone bought one while he was on the phone.
Oh, great.
“Good morning. How much if we take ten?”
The assassin looked at Shin, adding more to himself “I don’t know, how much is a funeral?” but Heisuke chirped in, in a bubbly way.
“Yes, Just the best for Mr. Sakamoto, yo.”
The assassin thought fast. Increase the odds, and all.
“Take as many as you want. I just, huh, learned about an emergency home and must go now.”
“Really? Free melons?”
The overexcited and loud answer by Heisuke was overheard by some shoppers, who flocked to the stand, fast.
“Uh….” That was bad, thought the murderer. Heavens know where the bomb will explode. He got mere minutes. “I really need to go, now.” Such was his hurry, he didn’t notice Shin’s eye getting wide.
“Heisuke” said him “I want your attention and silence, I need to share some intelligence with you.”
“No problem. I am good at getting intelligence. Right, Pisuke?”
“Riiiiight. Well…”
Shin was right on rushing his hand to Heisuke’s mouth, while a cacography in crayon invaded his mind, the sniper version of an explosion on a full market.
“Listen, Heisuke, we have no time.” Shin quickly turned the table, crushing the remaining melons. “I will track down the guy, you try and find the bomb.”
“I am without my rifle…”
Shin spotted a cheapo water gun and slingshots on a nearby toy stand.
“Here. These will have to do.”
Mishumo nodded, stretching the slingshot, when a young man with dark hair and a very long nose approached him
“You try to fight with slingshots and I’ll sue for © infrigiment.”
“Really? And where’s your bird companion, yo?”
Then a lad with brown hair on a large ponytail and wearing patched clothing with a colorful tie, with a pink birdie on his shoulder just behind grabbed him by the collar.
“Maybe I’ll get my pal Deku and WE will sue in this case.”
Meanwhile, Shin rushed through the people at the market, trying to focus on the would-be killer. The thoughts of those around do not help. Price of goods. Recipes. Schedules. The old lady fancing him and imagining him kissing her where?
“Excuse me! Coming through”
Theories about animes. Cursing their bosses. Run away from the bomb. Complainng about people who make theories about animes. Wait, rewind. There’s the killer.
“Why, you brat!” yet another shopper complained as their – real – melon exploded thanks to a skilled slingshot pebble.
“Pisuke, bombs away!”
Mishumo ordered while running. A bird drop caused another shopper to, disgusted, drop his melon with squashed in the floor. Then, using a water blast, the sniper destroyed yet another fruit.
Shin launched himself tackling the assassin over another fruit table. The fiend managed to squeeze an orange over Shin’s eyes. It took a moment for him to adjust his clairvoyance to locate the man again, struggling to get up. Shin’s hand found something vaguely cylindrical. A knife handle? No, something even better.
Seconds later, the bomber was again in the floor, cursing in his thoughts Shin and the bananas he threw under his feet.
“Tell me how to disarm the boooo…” Shin suddenly asserted the situation. He just knocked other man in the floor, both now covered in smashed fruits, with dozens of passersby around. Not the best time to cause panic.
“…ooooxed Jack, the Jack in the Box you gave my nephew. He can’t turn it off and is scared.”
“I will neve…” But Shin already get all the info he needed from the guy’s mind. Three minutes left. He ran out of options.
“For the next minute, I pay 1500 yens* for every melon you got!” He shouted to the passerby.
Shin was showered with fruit, opening one after another, without success. After emptying his wallet and passing dozens of I.O.U in the name of Sakamoto Shop, he felt on his knees, defeated.
“Yo.”
“Not now, Mishumo. Think, Shin, think!”
“But I have six melons, including a metallic one. That’s worth 9 thousand yen, right?”
* about $13
Minutes later, two smashed-fruit-covered lads entered Sakamoto’s store, maneuvering through the mob waving receipts for 1500 yens, Shin trying the most he could to avoid mr. Sakamoto’s thoughts.
“Don’t ask, boss. Just… don’t ask.”
“You know” Lu said, scoping a piece of fruit from Shin with her finger “Next time I should go. I have a great recipe for melon margarita.”