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“ Is this a dream? Am I dead? ” Nikolai wondered as he stared at the beautiful vehicle left abandoned in an old mechanic’s shop. He approached it and dusted off the front panel. A brilliant red star shone from under the layer of grime.
“ It’s perfect, ” he thought, a tear nearly falling from his eye.
“ And it’s all mine! ”
***
“Anybody know where Nikolai is?” Takeo asked as he gave a throng of zombies the run around. “This kiting strategy is really getting old. I’m running out of ammo!”
I haven’t the slightest idea, my friend!” Richthofen replied as he tried to wire up a monkey bomb. Without a proper workshop, he was forced to steady the bomb between his knees while he soldered. The monkey glared devilishly at him with black, empty eyes.
“Bastard!” Richtofen cried at the merciless monkey as he accidentally burned his finger on the soldering iron. “Stop looking at me like that!”
Meanwhile, Takeo jogged along unhappily. “In the future, I hope they invent a way to send messages to other people on the go,” Takeo shouted, “like a device you can carry around!”
“That’ll never take off,” Tank dismissed with a laugh. He ran behind the zombie horde, picking off stragglers with his bowie knife. The more bodies began to pile up in the courtyard, the stronger he got.
“If such a device existed,” Takeo replied, “I’d tell him that he’s a…”
Before Takeo could finish his insult, a Soviet armored car came roaring into the courtyard.
“What the fuck!?” Tank exclaimed. “Can zombies drive cars now? That’s over-powered!”
“No, that’s not possible,” Richthofen replied, setting down the half-finished monkey bomb. “They don’t have the coordination.”
“It’s about damn time!” Takeo exclaimed, “the pride of the Red Army!” He started sprinting to make distance between himself and the zombies.
“Is that you in there, Belinski?” Tank shouted, rapping on the side of the car with the butt of his rifle.
“DA!” Nikolai replied from within the vehicle, “who else would be stupid enough to come save your ass five times a week for free?! Now step back, would ya?”
“It would be my honor, sir!” Tank smiled as Nicolai accelerated forward, taking out a dozen zombies previously chasing Takeo.
“Score!” Tank cheered.
Takeo stealthily disappeared behind a corner causing the remaining zombies to continue running forwards in confused pursuit. Once they were far away, he joined Tank and Richtofen to enjoy the show.
Nikolai drove his armored car to and fro, stopping only to fire it’s machine gun. The previously fresh air became polluted with exhaust fumes.
“Is he done yet?” Richtofen asked, pulling his undershirt over his nose and mouth.
Nikolai executed a perfect drift, sending a cloud of dust towards his friends.
“Show off!” Takeo taunted.
“He’s gonna run out of gas eventually,” Tank chuckled.
As if on cue, the engine of the car began to sputter and come to a grinding halt.
“Shit!” Nikolai cursed from within the car before climbing out.
“Did you enjoy your joy ride, my friend?” Richthofen inquired. The smog-filled air had made him terribly cross.
“Not as much as your mom!” Nikolai teased with a big grin.
“Ouch!” Tank laughed.
“So juvenile,” Richthofen shook his head. He hadn’t heard such a shitty joke since university.
“You’ve got to teach me how to do that thing where you drive sideways,” Takeo demanded seriously.
“Oh, you mean the Leningrad drift? Sure. Why not?” Nikolai replied amicably.
“Hey, can I sit in the back? I want to learn too,” Tank jumped in.
“The more comrades, the merrier!” Nikolai agreed.
Richthofen was looking away from the group, feigning disinterest.
“I know you want in on this, Edward,” Nikolai smiled. “I bet you’d be good too. Want to give it a go when we find more gas?”
“Oh, alright!” Richthofen agreed. “And by the way, I saw some gas tanks in the cellar of that brick building over there.”
“Really?” Nikolai exclaimed joyously. “What a day! What a lovely day!”