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Looking back on it now, the first time Lucas met him, Henrik was actually pretty subdued. It wasn’t obvious then because this was subdued by Henrik’s standards. They’d both been brought to a crappy little hotel room with no tv and no access to social media, briefly introduced and left to it. Lucas offered Henrik a hand to shake and found himself pulled into a hug. After a moment the blonde man stepped back and looked him up and down with frank admiration.
“I can see I’m going to have some fierce competition in this villa.”
Lucas chuckled self-consciously.
“Thanks, I could say the same about you.”
Henrik grinned at him and winked.
“Don’t worry, I’m a lover not a fighter. I’m also really thirsty. Big night last night, you know how it is. I actually already drunk all the water I brought.”
His beaming smile dropped as a look of displeasure took its place, Lucas found himself disconcerted by this and quickly responded.
“I have some water in my bag, you can have it if you like.”
The way Henrik’s face lit up gave Lucas a flutter in his stomach. He handed over the water, aware he was gawping as the blonde man threw his head back and gulped it down. Henrik wiped a hand across his lips and sighed.
“Thanks, so much, man, I love you for that, seriously.”
‘I love you’ was not phrase Lucas bandied around. In fact, he generally took a dim view of people who uttered it casually, not seeming to appreciate the weight the words placed on others, the obligation, the opportunity to fail and to disappoint. However, it was clear that Henrik meant nothing by the words other than a gesture of gratitude, so he simply smiled and turned their conversation to other things.
Four days later, they were sitting together in the Villa hot tub sharing a bottle of champagne. Lucas knew the likelihood was that he would be leaving that night, and maybe that’s why he played up to the couple role with Henrik in the Mean Tweets challenge. Being touchy feely, throwing out pet names, it had all felt easy and enjoyable, and Lucas knew that there wasn’t anyone else in the Villa he’d rather be sitting with at that moment. Henrik looked at him with a frown.
“You alright, mate?”
Lucas startled and laughed.
“’Mate’? What happened to ‘boo’?”
Clearly, he was feeling bold. He noticed a flush on the other man’s cheeks and his smirk grew wider, only to die as he remembered what was happening that night. Seeming to read his thoughts, Henrik moved towards him grasping his arm.
“Lucas, I meant what I said; don’t assume you’re leaving when it might not happen. You could be a fan favourite. I know you haven’t had as long as Rocco and Rahim, but you’ve made a big impression on me.”
He grinned at Lucas, displaying that unique mixture of earnestness and mischievousness which made him so bloody adorable. Lucas smiled regretfully back.
“I suppose we’ll see tonight. But, whatever happens, I’m glad to have met you.”
He cursed inwardly at how stilted and formal it sounded, but it seemed to please Henrik who beamed and moved towards him, arms outstretched.
“Me too. I love you, man.”
Affection came so easily to Henrik. Lucas pictured the large, close family the other man spoke of so fondly, the various friends he mentioned as he recounted tales of his exploits in the outside world. There must be so many people who Henrik could say those three words to and genuinely mean them. Lucas wondered if he could say them and genuinely mean them to anyone. He wasn’t sure so he returned the other man’s embrace but remained silent.
Hearing his name called at the firepit felt inevitable. Henrik’s devastation made it seem all that much worse. All Lucas wanted to do was talk to him, spend as much time with him as possible, tell him… well he had no idea what he would have told him if he’d had the chance. The chance didn’t come because Susie insisted on pulling Lucas into a long drawn out tete-a-tete. God knows why, their date on the first day had been bearable but there was no real chemistry and any flirting she engaged in with him had exclusively taken place when the others were around to witness it. As Susie pouted and sighed over what might have been for the two of them, his eyes wandered across the garden and he saw Henrik sitting with his head in his hands, Marisol’s arm around him. He must have uttered the other man’s name without realising, for the next moment his attention was drawn to a frowning Susie by her sharp toned enquiry.
“What you on about, ‘Henrik’?”
Lucas managed a weak smile.
“Look after Henrik for me can you, Susie?”
Susie scoffed.
“He’s not a baby, Lucas!”
Lucas fought his rising irritation.
“I know he’s not, but I think it might be hard for him in here without me.”
Susie rolled her eyes.
“Well, he needs to realise it isn’t friend island then, doesn’t he? I know he’s not the brightest bulb in the box but I’m sure he’ll get there in the end.”
Lucas knew then without a doubt that Susie was someone he would be happy never to set eyes on again in his life.
He got to say goodbye to Henrik as he and Rocco walked out of the Villa. Of course, Henrik hugged him and told him he loved him. Lucas thought about saying it back. But Henrik obviously only meant it as a friend, and though Lucas certainly didn’t love Henrik, he did have feelings for him which could not strictly be described as friendly. He had absolutely no intention of revealing those feelings now, in front of a content hungry filming crew and a group of Islanders who knew inserting themselves into other people’s drama increased their airtime exponentially, so he kept quiet and let Rocco waffle about wing mirrors, or whatever it was, until they had to leave.
Back in the UK, he watched every episode with a self-conscious excitement. Henrik didn’t feature much, certainly not enough for Lucas’s liking. Honestly, who gave a damn about Lottie’s violations of girl code or Operation shitting Nope? The recoupling the day after he’d left had resulted in Henrik being in a friendship couple with Marisol, although Lucas knew for a fact Marisol hoped it would developed into something more. In the villa he’d been a little jealous of the small, exclusive bond the pair seemed to share; Marisol turning Henrik’s genuine bemusement at British habits, such as asking how someone was without really wanting an answer, into a private joke between the two of them. Lucas’s agitation over what he saw as a growing closeness between Henrik and the Spanish girl, was such that he actually punched the air in triumph when the girls were sent to Casa Amor. This feeling would mock him as he watched Henrik move into what was decidedly not a friendship couple with Blake. What the hell does he see in her? They’ve got absolutely nothing in common! It appeared that most of the audience shared Lucas’s misgivings about the pair as they were swiftly dumped from the Island when the Villas reunited.
Henrik phoned him as soon as he was back in the UK. They met that night for drinks in a bar which turned into drinks in a hotel room, a rather better one than the room where they first met. Once he was drunk enough Lucas enquired if Henrik would be seeing Blake any time soon. He watched the blonde man purse his lips and narrow his eyes, feeling a satisfaction he knew to be confirmation he was a bad person.
“Blake and I decided we weren’t really going to work outside the villa.”
“Sorry to hear that.” Lucas lied smoothly, Henrik smiled and shrugged.
“Thinking about it now, I’m not sure how we ended up together in the first place…I was lonely, I guess, and let’s be honest she was fit.”
Lucas couldn’t supress a derisive snort. Henrik eyed him amusedly.
“Come on, Blake’s hot! Gorgeous dark hair, smouldering eyes, smoking body…”
Their gazes were locked, and Henrik was wearing that lopsided grin that always made Lucas’s heart beat faster. He swallowed thickly.
“I don’t know about gorgeous dark hair, this gentleman always preferred blondes.”
Lucas wasn’t sure how he’d expected Henrik to react, but it certainly hadn’t been by dissolving into peals of helpless laughter. He smiled weakly as the other man gave full reign to snorting guffaws, which from anyone else would have been a complete turn off. Henrik looked at him wiping his eyes.
“Sorry, but why do you always phrase stuff so weirdly? That was like a line from a film or something!”
“I mean, it sort of was…” Lucas trailed off as Henrik stood, leaning over him to pull him into a bear hug.
“I better get going, they said I have to do some kind of press thing in the morning. Can I see you tomorrow night?”
“Absolutely.”
“Great. It’s been brilliant catching up, I love you, man.”
Lucas thought about saying it, after the door had closed with Henrik on the other side. But, even in his drunken state that seemed ridiculous. So he just went to bed.
The next day, Lucas had the call asking him to return to the Villa. Henrik was enthusiastically supportive because of course he was. The fact he seemed so keen to be rid of him, was enough of a push for Lucas to get on the plane.
Predictably, it was a shit show. Not catastrophic in any way, just excruciating. Whatever spark there’d been between him and Hope had long since extinguished and anyway, she was never going to walk away from a day one coupling she’d poured so much time and energy into at that stage in the game. The only other Islander Lucas was even remotely attracted to was Elisa, and she had clearly been embroiled in some sort of love triangle with Susie and Marisol, so he didn’t even go there. The last recoupling saw him chosen by Chelsea, who was just blonde enough, excitable enough and open hearted enough to make him ache with how much he missed Henrik. She was a sweet girl, and he tried his best, but it was never going to go anywhere. In the end they made fourth place. Lucas was fairly sure, if it had been solely down to the public, it would have been fifth, But Lottie never really forgave Rahim for leaving her single after Casa Amor and apparently, Jo once gave Hope a load of hassle about some nachos or something, so they’d never seen eye to eye.
Considering Hope and Noah and Lottie and Gary had been couples since the early days, it had been a shock to everyone when Susie and Marisol took the winning spot. Having spent some time watching from home, Lucas was probably least surprised. Susie had been given the edit of loveable, unlucky in love lass, slowly uncovering her feelings for her best mate in the villa. Watching the VT of their ‘journey’ during the finale party, Lucas struggled not to roll his eyes, the irony not lost on him for a single second.
Not long after the party started, Chelsea had hugged him, kissed him on both cheeks and skipped off happily to chat with a group of lads from Casa Amor. This suited Lucas perfectly. Being so tall and having so much blonde hair, Henrik was pretty easy to spot in a crowd. When Lucas saw him, Henrik was enthusiastically congratulating Susie and Marisol, so he held back, but almost as if Henrik could sense his presence, the climber turned, a warm dazzling smile lighting up his face although it quickly became muted. He approached Lucas directly but did not pull him into the hug Lucas had come to expect. Instead, he smiled and nodded, unsubtly eyeing the area around them.
“Chelsea not about?”
Lucas’s disconcertion at the uncharacteristically reserved greeting he had received, gave way to a creeping hopefulness. He shook his head nonchalantly.
“We were never really a romantic couple. We’re just friends.”
“Oh. But I thought you…that you preferred blondes.”
Henrik rushed out the last part, his face bright red. Lucas wondered if he could possibly be reading all of this completely wrong and decided even if he was, he might as well take a chance. They could easily avoid each other for the rest of their lives if necessary. He placed a hand on Henrik’s arm.
“When I said that, I meant one blonde in particular. And it wasn’t Chelsea.”
Henrik exhaled sharply, his eyes fixed on where Lucas’s hand still rested before he looked up at him through his eyelashes, the smile on his lips blooming slowly but no less warm and bright for that. For a moment he was silent then the words poured out like a torrent.
“Honestly, I felt like the biggest idiot ever when I left you that night. I was just so nervous I couldn’t help but laugh and then I knew I must have blown any chance I might have had. And that was even if I had a chance anyway, which I wasn’t sure I ever did, I mean I hoped I did but…”
Henrik eventually trailed off, shooting Lucas the most disarming smile he’d ever seen in his life. Lucas grinned back, moving his hand to the other man’s shoulder, and leaning towards his ear.
“Let’s get out of here.”
Henrik shot him a lopsided smirk and grabbed his other hand, leading him away from the Villa. Lucas didn’t know or care if any of the others saw them depart hand in hand, anything apart from the man beside him was a complete irrelevance.
As soon as they were in the hotel room Henrik’s lips crashed onto his. Lucas ran a hand through Henrik’s long thick hair, while his other hand snaked under the blonde man’s t-shirt to glide along his muscular back and shoulders. A month of slowly building longing seemed to pour out in that kiss and neither sought to break it, even as they stumbled around the room, pulling at each other’s clothes, and colliding with furniture. Eventually they found their way to bed and then their hands and mouths moved to other parts. Lucas wondered if Henrik calling out his name in the throes of passion might be the best sound he’d ever heard. Afterwards they lay wrapped in each other’s arms exchanging occasional languid kisses as they drifted towards sleep.
In the morning, they left early on Lucas’s motorbike. The next month was spent travelling through Europe, hiking in Switzerland and banging the living daylights out of each other when and wherever the opportunity presented itself. One night when they were sitting outside their tent on the edge of a forest beside a lake, Henrik had fixed him with one of those warm, frank stares that made Lucas’s world shrink to just the two of them.
“Lucas, I love you. I had to tell you before we went back. And I’m not telling you to force you to say it back or to make you feel like you’re tied to me or any of that crap. I’m telling you because it’s true and I want you to know.”
Lucas stared at Henrik, a lump in his throat. Before he could even try to respond the other man placed a hand on his shoulder.
“I know you’re not ready to say it yet. But I can wait, I’m pretty sure it will happen sooner than you think.”
Lucas had no idea whether, when it did happen, it was sooner than either of them had thought or not. He was pretty surprised when Marisol and Susie simultaneously proposed at the Reunion. He was even more surprised when Marisol asked Henrik to be her best person. The day itself was nice enough, Henrik clearly enjoyed the whole thing immensely, and despite the fact he and Lucas had agreed privately they had misgivings about the pair, he managed to look nothing but delighted as he stood by Marisol’s side. As the reception wore on, Lucas wondered why the newlyweds seemed so keen to spend their wedding night in the company of a collection of people they met on a television show. Moving Henrik closer to him on the dancefloor he muttered.
“If this was our wedding night, I wouldn’t be wasting my time down here with this lot.”
Henrik smirked and replied.
“That’s cute, babe, but seeing as neither of us are planning on saving ourselves for our wedding night don’t you think you’re wasting your time right now?”
His low, teasing tone was more than enough to have Lucas all but dragging him off the dancefloor and towards the stairs.
Far too early the next morning, Lucas was woken up by a combination of Henrik’s phone vibrating loudly on the bedside table and the other man removing the warm weight of his arm from Lucas’s chest as he sat up to take the call. Lucas listened as Henrik muttered a hoarse greeting, his tone sharpening with an exclamation, before dropping to soothing reassurances. The Swede then ended the call before turning to him.
“That was Mar, she needs me to come to her room, Susie’s disappeared apparently.”
“Disappeared?”
Lucas repeated with a yawn, rubbing his eyes as he tried to make sense of the notion. Henrik gave a grimace and a nod.
“I know, she sounded in a bit of a state, I better hurry.”
“Do you want me to come too?”
“No, Mar said I should come alone. You get some sleep, hopefully it’ll be like the bird jacket thing yesterday.”
“You mean the dovecote?”
“Yeah, that.”
Henrik had been pulling on jeans and a t shirt as they talked, now he leant towards Lucas, gave him a brief kiss on the lips and exited the room. Lucas flopped back down onto the pillows and was soon asleep once more.
Lucas had no idea what time Henrik had left the room but when he woke up properly, it was definitely a lot later and the other man had still not returned. Lucas showered and made a cup of tea, scrolling through his phone while the kettle boiled. The last message on the Islander group chat was a video of Priya and Bobby’s lip sync battle so clearly no one was aware anything was amiss with the newlyweds apart from him and Henrik. Lucas drank his tea, flipping through the television channels. He was hungry, but he didn’t think Henrik had taken a key card with him, so he didn’t want to leave the room. Realising there was a good chance Henrik had some protein bars in his rucksack, Lucas rummaged around until he found one and ate it sitting on the bed. His thoughts drifted aimlessly until, suddenly, it occurred to him that he didn’t feel anxious. He hadn’t spent the last hour ruminating on the fact Henrik had left him to go to a woman who had declared on national television a mere eight months ago, that she would happily ‘jump his bones’ if given the chance. Lucas felt a moment of uneasiness, wondering if perhaps he should be worried, or even worried about not being worried but he quickly realised this was absurd. The insecurity he had always felt to a greater or lesser degree in previous romantic relationships hadn’t been something he could turn off anymore than he could turn it on now. I trust Henrik completely. That thought should have had him feeling bloody terrified, instead there was a goofy grin spreading across his face. It was still in place as Henrik opened the door a few minutes later, his grave expression the thing that finally chased it away. He walked quickly to sit beside Lucas, resting his head on the other man’s shoulder. Lucas placed an arm around him and waited to hear what had happened. Henrik spoke in a tone of utter disbelief.
“Susie’s run away with Lottie.”
“I’m sorry, what?!”
Henrik turned and nodded solemnly.
“Yeah. She sent Mar a voice note from the airport a couple of hours ago. Apparently, they had sex on the roof terrace the day before the finale. Susie’s gone with her to LA to start a new life together.”
Lucas stared at Henrik speechless. He had thought his opinion of Susie was so low that nothing she did could see him taken aback but running out on her wife the night they got married took things to a new level. Henrik scrunched up his face, visibly baffled and perturbed.
“Mar’s parents are here now; I didn’t want to leave her alone. How could anyone do that to someone?”
Lucas rested his own head on top of Henrik's and puffed out a breath through pursed lips.
“Some people are shit. I would have thought you’d spent enough time around me to realise that by now.”
Lucas spoke in a humorous tone, attempting to lighten the mood. Henrik raised a smile, but he also raised a sceptical brow and spoke in a tone of fond exasperation.
“Lucas. We both know I know you’re not shit.”
“Well, I’m not shit to you. But… that’s because I love you.”
Lucas realised he’d assumed that if and when he ever told Henrik he loved him it would be some dramatic moment, preceded by much soul searching and working up of courage on his part. He should have known better. Like everything about the two of them, it felt like the easiest, most natural thing in the world. Henrik’s eyes sparkled and his face reddened as he spoke in a tone that appeared joking but was underpinned by some softer, deeper emotion.
“Oh, you finally figured that out? And people say I’m the slow one.”
“Nothing wrong with being slow, when the occasion calls for it.”
Lucas raised an eyebrow in a parody of suggestiveness, satisfied to see Henrik chuckle in response. After a moment or two, Henrik sighed and moved towards him, placing a hand on Lucas’s jaw, and running a thumb over his lips.
“I love you too. Kiss me.”
Lucas brought his hands to Henrik’s shoulders and pulled the other man to him, feeling warmth spread through him, as their lips met in a tender, loving kiss.