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The delicate blanket of snow draped the Sunnydale landscape, shimmering even under the grey leaden sky. Angel took in the picturesque view like it was the first time he’d ever seen the powdery white fall, even though, at three-hundred something and change, the thought was absurd. Buffy’s hand tightly gripped his own as she walked beside him. Silence stretched, peaceful and white, between them as they both took in the enormity of what had just happened.
Eventually, Buffy looked up at him with a small smile that made Angel’s dead heart clench. “I’ve never had a White Christmas before.”
When Angel stopped to look at her, she plowed on, “It’s fitting that I have this gift because of you.”
Angel automatically went to shake his head, but her hand, small and warm on his face, stopped him. “Whatever you’re going to argue, don’t. I think the universe has spoken pretty clearly today, and there’s nothing else to say.”
But there is. There’s so much more to say. The apologies that Angel has, to his greatest shame, still never managed to offer her. The promises that Angel felt in his heart every time he saw her. An explanation of what, exactly, had happened, that Angel still isn’t quite sure he understood, and what it might mean for him.
The question of what they were to each other now, what they were allowed to be. Buffy had told him once, not too long ago, that she couldn’t be with him the way she wanted and she couldn’t be his friend either. That as long as he still loved her, they could be nothing together. Well, Angel knew that he would never stop loving her. So where did that leave them?
She deserved so much more than the broken shards that he could offer her.
“I know that today doesn’t change anything between us,” he ventured. Unsure if he wanted her to affirm or deny his statement.
Buffy dropped her hand and turned away to watch the snow settle gently on the trees in the distance. “I can’t stay away from you, Angel. I tried. I tried so hard, but I can’t do it. I’ve given up every dream I’ve ever had to be the Slayer. I can’t give up you.”
Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I need you.”
In that moment, standing before her distress, Angel made the only decision he could. He would be whatever she needed, however she wanted. Everything he had to give was hers.
“Buffy,” he mouthed her name like a prayer and drew her into his arms.
Together, wrapped in each other’s embrace, they watched the falling snow.