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WoAH, CaSsiE, cHiLL

Summary:

Caesar crack fic for English Class
at first I was like- "mmm Caesar fic"... as a joke-
bro- I don't think this is a joke anymore

Notes:

Each chapter will be a different scene, and this is of course the first. Each part of the series is of course the next act. This will later be fleshed out and be given actual stuff around the dialogue. Probably be changing that this weekend.

Chapter 1: OMG, I CAN'T EVEN

Chapter Text

Throughout the streets, people of all social classes were celebrating the overthrow of their old leader, Pompey. Decorations and music filled the streets of Rome, the citizens cheering and laughing. Almost like they didn't have a single thing to worry about. Everything was going great until a Senator got angry. 

 

¨Hey, you slackers, what’s the meaning of all this joy?¨ It was Flavius, one of the stricter and suck-up of them. You could hear the disgust in his voice, almost like he just saw someone put fruit in mashed potatoes. The nearby citizens stopped, frozen in fear and shock. Although most of the citizens were at a loss with words, the ones that could manage to form words weren't able to get out a cohesive sentence, just meaningless mumbling. Flavius stood on a nearby crate making him able to see everyone and vice versa. 

 

¨Does this look like a holiday to you?¨ He motioned to the capital where Caesar and his close companions were on the front step with swords and were laughing. One citizen mustered up enough courage to talk with the angry Senator.

 

¨No offense, Sir, but Umm….Kinda?¨ The citizens all nodded or made noises of agreement. Marullus, another Senator, walks up and is standing behind Flavius.

 

¨And why is that?¨ There was slight anger laced within his confused voice. The citizens fumbled on their words again. A citizen walked through the crowd to talk with the Senators.

 

¨Well, you see, Caesar has recently returned to Rome in victory, and so we as a group just kinda thought it might be nice to-¨ There was a tone in their voice that a mother would use to explain something to their toddler. Marullus walked closer to the citizens with a slightly crazy look in his eye.

 

¨What victory? He didn’t bring anything back with him. No slaves, no tributes, no land, not even a lousy candy bar!¨ His arms were being motioned around trying to emphasize his point. Another citizen from a bit further back in the crowd shouted.

 

¨Ah, well, I guess that’s a good-¨ Before they could even finish, Flavius cut them off.

 

¨And another thing! Do you people even remember Pompey, our old, much better leader?¨ It almost seemed like he was trying to get their attention onto the other man . But the way he said it had a certain tone that seemed like the two had a personal history together. 

 

¨W-well, I mean-¨ The citizens tried to get their words in but Flavius just wasn't going to let them. Flavius being the man that he is wants his points to be heard. But for that to happen, since he looks like a very basic guy, he has to resort to cutting people off while they're talking. 

 

¨HE WAS THE BEST! People used to line up outside his house, just to have him sign their babies! Do you know how much those things are worth now? People don't do that for your precious Caesar? Nooo. Do you know why? Because Pompey was better, in every possible way!¨ Now all of the citizens in the street were looking down in shame and embarrassment. A few mumbled out a few pathetic sorry´s, others were too ashamed to say anything and then others didn't feel any guilt for what they were doing.

 

¨I mean, I think whether he’s b-better or not kind of depends on your opinion of P-Pompey-¨ A citizen tried to explain but their voice was too shaky from Flavius yelling at the crowd. 

 

¨YOU DON’T GET TO SAY HIS NAME!¨ Marullus yelled out to the crowd. If the commoners were to look up at him, they would see tears building up in his eyes. All this talk about Pompey was bringing back memories of him that Marullus had mostly forgotten about. Flavius noticed Marullus´ tears and got down off the grate he was standing on to walk to the other.

 

¨Oh see, now you’ve gone and upset him-¨ He pats Marullsus’ back, while the other one rocks back and forth, clearly not okay mentally or emotionally at the moment, ¨-I hope you’re all happy. Go back to your houses, ALL OF YOU. I can’t bear to see your traitorous little peasant faces.¨ The commoners nodded and the majority of them walked home to think about what and why they did what they did. Marullus hugs Flavius back, his head resting on Flavius´ chest. He was still trying to choke back the tears.

 

¨Did you see how mean they all were?¨ Marullus started sniffling and a few tears ran down his face. Flavius tightly hugs him back putting his head on Marullus´ head.

 

“Yes yes, I know, the mean people are gone now. You wanna go see the horsey races at the festival?” Flavius rubbed the others back then pulled away but kept his hands on the other's shoulders. Marullus wiped his tears and sniffled again.

 

¨Yes, please…¨ He said, nodding with a sad smile. Flavius gave a soft smile and grabbed one of Marullus´ hands.

 

¨Okay, Mar. Let's go then!¨ Flavius beamed causing his eyes to squint while tilting his head. Marullus smiled back at him, seeing the other smile always made him feel better. The two walked off heading to see the horse races at the festival.