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Ben glanced at Klaus from the corner of his eye. “You know, Dave is Jill’s friend.”
Klaus nodded distractedly, shoving gluey school- lunch instant mashed potatoes into his mouth with his left hand.
Allison joined them at the lunch table. The square pizza on her tray had just been pulled from the oven, but already looked cold and gray.
“Klaus, Dave is hot. If you aren’t doing-dating him yet, you should.”
Klaus choked, and Five whacked him on the back, appearing in the nick of time, followed by Vanya’s slower arrival at their shared lunch table.
“Are we talking about Dave?”
Luther reached the table, his three- gallon water bottle half full and bouncing against his leg.
“Katz? Oh, he’s good- looking…” Luther cleared his throat, cheeks going pink. Klaus seemed to have recovered, and he smirked.
“Why aren’t you setting Luther up with Dave, then?”
Luther shrugged, raising one hand to wave Diego over to their table. “Because he said he was into you.”
Diego finally joined them, holding two hamburgers that looked almost edible.
“So, Katz is looking fine today.”
Klaus banged his head on the table.
“Did you plan this?”
Ben laughed, and Diego glanced around at them in confusion. “Plan what?”
Vanya leaned over. “We’re all talking up Dave today.”
Allison leaned forward, resting both arms on the table next to her thermos, undoubtedly filled with leftover wildebeest chili. “Back to the topic at hand. Luther, when did Dave express interest in our dear Klausy?”
Five leaned in with interest and Klaus glared at him balefully. “Why are you so invested in this? You don’t even date.”
Vanya rolled their eyes. “Just because he isn’t dating anyone doesn’t mean he doesn’t think you should be tapping that.” Five nodded, nudging their shoulders together. “You should absolutely go for it.”
Luther nodded empathetically, exchanging a look with Diego. “We could talk you up even more to him—let him know you’re interested?” Diego winked, his excitement making him stutter slightly. “A s-service w-w-we’d be happy t-to p-p-p-pro-provide.”
Klaus crossed his arms. “This is homophobia.”
Luther paused. “Actually, this is homie- phobia, Klaus. We’re treating you like a homie, and you’re afraid.” He wiped away an imaginary tear, shaking his head in mock sadness. “Message received, Klaus. I’ll never treat you like a homie again.”
Diego wrapped an arm around Luther’s shoulders, shooting a mock glare Klaus’ way. “Now look what you’ve done. You’ll never be a homie.”
Ben nodded. “Not with that attitude.”
A new arrival brought a hush to the table. Well, as much of a hush as there could be, considering Vanya and Allison’s whispering and giggles and Diego and Luther’s muffled laughter.
It was Dave.
“Hi Addamses.” He nodded to each of them, clutching his backpack straps with bath hands. “How’re things?”
Vanya shrugged, a smile still on their lips. “Y’know, same old, same old.”
“Oh yeah, you made first chair, right? How’s that going?”
Vanya smiled, but their conversation was abruptly cut off by someone’s throat being cleared.
Five raised an eyebrow, leaning forward and resting both elbows on the table. “What are your plans for the weekend, Dave? You busy?”
Dave looked surprised and slightly uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure Five had ever spoken to him, and the attention was more than a little unnerving. Did the guy ever blink? “I’m flattered, but um-“
Five cut him off, waving a hand lazily through the air. “Not for me. For my brother.”
Luther spoke up. “Klaus.”
“And what does Klaus say to all this?”
The Addams siblings turned pointedly to look at their brother.
“Klaus is… interested in your answer to Five’s question.”
Diego fist pumped quietly under the table, exchanging a quick grin with Ben.
All seven of the Addamses waited with bated breath.
Dave gulped. “Then um, yes- yeah. Uh Saturday?” His voice broke.
Klaus nodded. “I’ll text you,” he managed, sounding strangled.
As Dave walked away from their table, Vanya and Five leaned their heads together, singing under their breath.
“Look, I think he’s even wearing brand- new shells!”
Allison snickered. “No more ‘Little Mermaid.’ I think Klaus might actually kill us.” She opened her thermos. “Chili, anyone?”