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Thor watched the ripples which trailed after his fingers, drawing disappearing patterns on the surface of the water in Gudrun’s bassinet. Each sigh created further waves, little wars raging where currents muddled. Gudrun slept on.
Her little infant fists were curled up tight and tucked next to her ears, her many legs all like-wise furled, folded up and compacted. Thor wanted to touch her, to stroke one of her tiny pink tentacles, but he was afraid to see her face pinch tight and hear her wails boil up, muffled and watery. He sighed again, heavily, and watched the reflected lamplight break apart.
Every few minutes he’d take a pitcher and scoop up new water from the pool then pour it into the cradle which was already full to the brim, watching the sheets of excess which spilled down to the tiled floor. Gudrun didn’t like him doing this, but she was very tired so she let Thor get away with it. His trousers, rolled up well past his knees, were damp and tough from the salt, probably ruined. He was very glad he was wealthy, otherwise he would have long been broke over the cost of replacing all the clothing he’d been killing.
An empty plate sat on the floor not far from him, alongside an empty pitcher and a mostly empty tankard of mead.
The night was growing long.
When Gudrun twitched Thor’s heart started to pound. Those tiny fists struck weakly through the water, and her yellow-orange eyes slit open petulantly. Thor held his breath, but it was no use. Her gaze fixed on the two fingers Thor still had touching the water, and two of her little tentacles uncurled reaching for his hand. She started to whimper, her grip tight when she got a hold of him and his eyes grew wide.
“It’s alright.” He murmured for lack of a better plan, following the tug of her tentacles which drew his hand into hers, her fingers wrapping around and holding strong. After a moment’s hesitation he reached to her with his other hand as well, wet to the elbow as he cradled her bald skull in one big hand, his thumb stroking her indigo cheek.
Thor was beginning to believe that he was never again going to be able to keep his heart rate under control. In the two weeks ago since Loki had gone into labour and brought Gudrun into the world, it had been nothing but quicksilver shifts from racing pulse to dead stop. Now it swelled until it felt too big for his chest. Settling his chin on the rim of the bassinet he let himself sigh again and watched Gudrun turn into his touch before settling. One tentacle clung about his wrist.
All the lamps were low in the room, not that there were many. His eyes were used to the dark now, but he was still fighting the urge to track the ghosts that came and went in the mix of shadows and lamplight flashes reflecting off the polished dark tile. It was really far to big a room for just the two of them, but it was the only room that would do.
After a long moment he pulled his dripping arm back to himself and reached for the pitcher. It dipped into the pool with a gurgle and filled with a rush. The sound of it pouring over Gudrun eased Thor’s mind.
The baby’s eyes scrunched up with displeasure as the water shifted around her, but this time she did not cry. Thor patted her belly in praise.
His beard already wet, Thor set his chin on the edge of the bassinet again, wondering if he should try singing again now that everyone else had gone to bed.
The shush of water-disturbed drifted from the far end of the pool and Thor’s head whipped around, eyes narrowing in the dark to focus on the shadowy curve of a head poking up from the water.
“Loki?” he hissed, the knuckles of his free hand white where he gripped the edge of the cradle.
Familiar red eyes caught the light before ducking back under the surface. Thor started to shift to face the water but Gudrun held tight.
In the darkness it was hard to make out anything more than a tangle of shadow gathering in the water near Thor. With a sigh, he leaned as close as he could without dislodging the baby on his hand, his damp hair hanging above the water in lank strands.
With grace, Loki rose up until his head and shoulders were to the air, two tentacles crawling up the wall to curl lazily around the rim. They were coloured like blood in the dark.
Thor opened his mouth but before he could speak Loki placed a hand to his own throat and drew a glowing white line across it. Not sure if he should be alarmed or impressed Thor let his mouth close and waited to see what this spell would do.
“What are you doing?”
Loki’s voice sounded as smooth as it did underwater, smoother even. It made Thor think of silk and silver. All the reproach and anger that had been sitting on his tongue evaporated. He simply stared at his friend with wide eyes until Loki cocked his head and raised an eyebrow.
“Well?”
“You speak.” Thor blurted out.
Loki was unimpressed. “Brilliant observation. What are you doing?”
Giving himself a little shake Thor cast his gaze towards the little half-human clinging to him, the tiny suction cups of several of her tentacles now happily fixed to his skin. Her eyes were closed.
Thor remembered why he was angry.
“What am I doing!” He hissed, turning a glare on his friend. “I am caring for Gudrun, what do you think I am doing? Someone had to.”
“Don’t be dramatic.” Loki made a waving motion with one hand while he slid the other along the edge of the bath, his tentacles rippling through the water as he carried himself up and out of the pool, curving himself over the rim of the bassinet and looking down. “I wasn’t even gone twenty hours. She was fine.”
“She was not! She was crying out, clearly looking for you. That clone was useless, it did nothing for her.”
Loki reached into the cradle and began to unwind Gudrun from Thor’s hand. “The clone was not for her.”
“Than who...” Thor trailed off, looking scandalized as realization dawned. Loki shook his head. “You made the clone just to trick me?”
“Yes.” Possessing a talent Thor did not have, Loki made short work of detaching his daughter from the prince. Once freed he drew her from the water and let her wrap her tentacles around his own wrist, bringing her in close to his chest so she could feed. She whimpered a couple times before she found her mother’s nipple, then she latched on and began to suckle hungrily.
“Why did you not just tell me you were leaving?” Thor asked even as his attention became fixed on the child nursing at his friend’s breast.
“Would you have been happier with my leaving if I had alerted you to my plans?” Loki snapped the fingers of his free hand until Thor met his eyes.
“No.” Thor blurted, voice too loud. “No, I- no. you know it is dangerous for you to leave right now. And Gudrun is still so small. No, you shouldn’t be leaving.”
“But clearly,” Loki argued, one black nailed finger waving in Thor’s face “It is not too dangerous and Gudrun is not too small. We have both emerged from this event unscathed.”
Thor scowled. “Where did you even go?”
“No where important.” Was Loki’s murmured reply, dropping Thor’s gaze as he looked down at Gudrun. Her eyes were wide open and fire bright as she fed.
Thor’s fist made a meaty, wet sound when it collided with the slick floor. “Then why-” He began to shout, but immediately silenced himself when Gudrun shivered and stopped eating, curling up on herself in the crook of her mother’s arm with a wail.
“Look what you’ve done!” Loki hissed, and he moved back and down towards the water, sinking into the pool until the baby in his arms was half submerged. His eyes were murderous as they glared up at the prince. “I will not fight with you about this, Thor. What’s done is done.”
“No!” Thor whispered furiously, shuffling forward in a crouch until they were nearly nose to nose. “You can’t do this Loki! You can’t leave her alone like that!”
Gudrun had settled quickly into snuffling hiccups, but Loki began to rock her anyway, even as he bared his teeth at Thor and prepared for an argument. “Have no fear, I can’t imagine I’ll have cause to leave her again so your duties as babysitter will no longer be required.”
“But I wouldn’t mind babysitting!” Thor hissed. “You just have to ask! Tell me if you leave and I will care for her. As it happened tonight, I have not left her side for twelve hours Loki. Twelve hours! I did not know how long I could keep her out of the water, I had no idea as to what to feed her. I am only grateful my mother’s chambermaid has only just given birth herself, otherwise I do not even know-”
“You gave her to a wet nurse?” The last words were positively snarled and Thor winced at their intensity.
But he would not be cowed. “Yes, I did!” He countered, his own voice still sibilant in his attempts to keep quiet. “What else was I supposed to do Loki? She is only two weeks old! What else is she supposed to eat?”
“You should have let her alone!” Loki had given up on keeping quiet, but for some reason Gudrun did not mind nearly so much when he shouted, her eyes shutting sleepily as her mother continued to rock her. “It was not even a day Thor, she hardly would have starved.”
“That is barbaric!”
“It is the truth! Besides, what right do you have to give advice on raising children? I do not see a babe clinging to your breast.”
Fury scalded the back of Thor’s throat when he tried to swallow. “I do not need a child of my own to know that you are doing it wrong!”
“Ha!” Loki crowed. “Boastful, fool of a man.”
“And you,” Thor growled, “Are a frigid, prideful, runt!”
The moment the words left Thor’s lips he knew he should want to take them back. He knew that very shortly he would regret them, but not yet. His anger was still too bright.
Loki’s face went completely blank. In his arms Gudrun squirmed and made an unhappy warbling noise.
“Fine.” He said at length, voice impassive.
“Fine?”
“Fine.” Loki repeated, and used his tentacles to haul himself out of the water in one smooth motion, forcing Thor to shuffle back.
Looking away from Thor, face washed clean of any emotion, Loki looked at Gudrun. First he bounced the babe a couple times in his arms to sooth her, then he took four of her tentacles in one hand and four in the other. Her body was laid out across one of his forearms so her head was tucked between the inside of his elbow and his breast. From deep in his chest came a little hum, and the girl stilled completely, looking at her father with half closed, golden eyes.
It was still a cold thing, but Loki gave her a little smile.
Then his hands began to glow.
Just a faint light at first, but it built to the radiant blare of white hot rock. It washed out everything, completely consuming Gudrun and all of Loki’s upper body. Far too bright for Thor to stand, he had to put a hand to block it, squinting in horrified fascination.
“Loki?” He was far too loud for the quiet room, but the light felt like it was deafening him.
At first there was no reply, then from the center of that light came a shriek, a great infant wail, and Thor lurched forward on instinct, held back only by some force he could not see. His chest constricted until he could not speak, then with a roar he broke his silence and cried out “Loki you monster! You’re hurting her!”
Again he tried to push forward but the force of magic was immense. Nothing he did could get him through, though he railed at it, struck it with his fists, put all his weight behind his blows, completely unable to bear Gudrun’s pained cries.
Then, as abruptly as it had begun, it flared out. Thor stumbled forward, dizzy and blind, landing heavily on his hands. If he’d been able to see, he would have noticed the smoke rising from Loki’s long fingered hands, hands which wrapped tight around the still sobbing babe in his arms. Red eyes were shut tight, and Loki’s chest was rising and falling in rapid, painful gasps.
For a few moments the mercreature tried to drag himself back into the water, but he stopped short and shook his head, settling down with his tentacles twisting and folding around him. He did not look at Thor, just rocked the tiny creature in his arms gently, murmuring in his dry, hissing voice. Just a few moments of that and he was coughing horribly so he stopped and just hummed from deep in his chest.
Well before the spots had faded from his eyes Thor stood and took shaking steps towards where he imagined Loki to be. “What have you done to her?” He gasped out “Give her to me now!” He reached out blindly, but recoiled at the pure venom in the angry hiss next to his ear, wordless and deadly.
Blinking rapidly his vision began to return, Loki’s hunched silhouette taking shape several feet from him. One of the lamps guttered then steadied itself; it’s glow was so weak, the strobe of it accentuating the little tremors running through Loki’s body.
“What did you do?” Thor’s voice had grown plaintive, begging Loki for an answer. As Gudrun’s wails softened into hiccuping whimpers he stopped trying to reach for her, though his hands continued to twitch at his sides.
Finally Loki’s eyes opened, just barely, little red slivers beneath dark lids. His throat worked around a swallow.
Loki did not move again until Gudrun quieted to nothing more than tired sniffles. Then he shifted with infinite care, rearranging her until he held her in his hands and could raise her to his lips, lips that he pressed to her forehead very, very softly.
Thor had not seen him kiss her before.
The little girl looked so pale it nearly killed Thor. His own face drained of color. “Loki-” he began, but his friend cut him off by leaning forward and holding Gudrun toward him, putting her tiny body in the light and as Thor reached out for he realized... he realized...
“Oh Loki.”
Thor felt his hands were too big around her, this little pink baby. This little, pink, human baby. Two arms ten fingers, two legs, ten toes; he counted them over and over again. “How-”
Once again he was cut off, this time by the sound of a splash. His head shot up in time to watch Loki disappear completely under the surface, a little ribbon of steam curling up in the place where he’d been. There was a minute of nothing, then a blue skinned hand emerged and made a beckoning gesture which Thor obeyed, Gudrun tucked tight against him. She nosed briefly at his chest but seemed unimpressed.
When Thor was close he leaned over the edge until he could just see Loki’s eyes peering up from the dark mass of him.
“She’s human!” Thor exclaimed. As soon as he said it he knew it would happen, but he still flushed when Loki rolled his eyes at him.
He held his breath to hear Loki’s reply.
“She looks human. The spell will last until I take it off of her.”
“Oh Loki.” Thor murmured, his free hand tracing the little pink face which had begun to go lax with sleep. “But why?”
There was only silence until Thor forced himself to look away from Gudrun and down to Loki. The fire in his friend’s eyes chilled him. “I know what’s best for my child Thor.”
Thor swallowed. “But this hurt her.”
Loki did not waver. “Better she endure it now rather than later. In a few short years she will not recall the pain she felt as a babe.”
Another protest was on Thor’s tongue but Loki bared his teeth at him and he fell silent.
Thor took a steadying breath. “Do you not wish to hold her?” He asked quietly. Loki’s face relaxed a touch as he raised his eyebrows, angling a look at the prince.
“She cannot breathe underwater anymore, Thor.”
For some reason these words made Thor feel ill. He snuggled the baby even closer to himself. “So you’re giving her up?”
“What?” Loki’s tenuous calm shattered. Two of his tentacles and both of his hands came up to grab at Thor’s legs. “I’m doing nothing of the sort! I will change myself tomorrow night, I just need some time to recuperate. Damn you. You think this spell is easy?” The last part was nearly a shriek and Gudrun shifted restlessly, completely fed up with the turbulent events of the day.
Loki lowered his voice but his grip on Thor only increased in its intensity. “You told me to ask you when you needed to babysit. Fine. I need you to look after her until tomorrow evening when I will be able to give myself a human guise as well.
“But do not even think about giving her to a wet nurse.” He grit his teeth and let a breath of water gust heavily past his lips. “It will do me no harm to sit out of the water for the time it takes to feed her tomorrow.”
“Whatever you say.” Thor agreed, the tension in his shoulders dripping away until he relaxed, heavy and exhausted. “But, why are you doing this?”
Loki shrugged. “Your mother has offered us asylum has she not?”
“Yes, but you needn’t change forms for that.”
“Needn’t I?”
Thor found Loki enigmatic at the best of times, but now he was being out right obtuse.
“No, of course not. You are our guest and need not affect so dramatic a change if you do not want to. It is your choice.”
“If that is true, than I have chosen. That is all there is to that.”
“But-”
“Thor.” Loki’s eyes had softened to that weariness which so pained Thor when he witnessed it. All his questions dried up in his mouth.
For a long minute there was no sound but the quiet slosh of water against the sides of the bath.
“Alright.” Thor finally murmured. Loki squeezed his legs one last time then let him go. His tentacles waved lazily back and forth as he began to propel himself towards the corner farthest from the entryway which led to the palace proper. Thor had to strain to hear his voice, muffled as it was by the water between them.
“I must rest now. Find a cradle and put Gudrun to bed. I will see you tomorrow.”
“I’ll take good care of her.” Thor’s voice was too loud again but he wanted to make sure Loki heard him.
Then he walked to the entryway, reaching for the red cloak he’d hung on a peg near the door. Carefully he used it to swaddle Gudrun. The fabric was the same colour as Loki’s tentacles, and for a moment Thor imagined the girl had grown her many legs back, but only for a moment. Her pink skin made it clear enough that she was no longer a creature of the sea, although perhaps one day she would become one again.
“Your father is not a monster.” Thor whispered to her as they crossed the threshold. “And you are not one either. Do not let anyone tell you as such.”
Gudrun said nothing in reply. She slept like a stone in Thor’s arms.