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He doesn’t remember meeting his dad’s partner. She was kinda just always there. Like Lizzie, except Olivia is a whole lot less annoying than his twin. The first time he really remembers talking to her is one warm fall morning before school. She comes to pick up his dad for work ‘cause something is wrong with Dad’s car.
The house is super noisy and Dickie’s supposed to be eating his eggs but he already snuck a pop-tart before everybody was awake, so he’s full. He’s ready to go but everybody else is moving at turtle speed this morning so he goes out to talk to Olivia. She’s nice and quiet and is basically his Dad’s best friend, so he figures he should know her a little better. Dad’s not done getting dressed so she’s stuck waiting too.
He busts out the front door, screen swinging shut behind him, and hops down each of the steps before running up to the car window and giving a full-toothed (well, mostly full) grin. She smiles and rolls the window down.
“Morning, ‘Livia!”
“Good morning, Dickie,” she says through a chuckle. “What’s goin’ on with you?” Dickie takes the liberty of walking around the car and climbs into the passenger side to continue the conversation.
“Mmmnothin’,” he says, pulling the door shut with both hands and kneeling on the seat to face her. “Dad’s putting on his tie, and Mom and Mo are yelling, and Lizzie and Leen are eating, so I guess that just leaves you and me!”
She laughs and shakes her head, already seeing a little of Elliot in the boy’s energy. “Is that right?”
“That’s right!” he says, nodding his head. “Hey, what’s your favorite color? I like the color of your shirt. That’s my favorite. Everybody calls it baby blue, but I like it ‘cause it looks like the sky. Sometimes Mom calls me baby blue ‘cause I like it so much. I don’t know why it’s called that, though, ‘cause babies are too young to say they like blue, and it’s not like they’re blue, but I guess it’s still called that. I don’t have enough shirts like that though…” he trails off before nodding firmly again. “It’s a nice shirt.”
Olivia sits there a bit awestruck, not quite sure where the boy expects her response to start. Her caffeine hasn’t quite kicked in yet, and that was a lot of words delivered at a speed that only a child hyped-up on sugar in the morning could manage. “Thanks, Dickie…” he’s still looking at her expectantly.
“Your favorite color?” he asks with a teensy bit of impatience in his tone.
“Right,” she says, nodding. “Uh, I like blue too. I don’t know if I have a favorite shade, just… all blues are nice.” Dickie nods in agreement, seemingly satisfied with the answer. She exhales almost in relief, feeling like she just passed a test somehow. They sit there a moment, and Dickie shifts in the seat so that his feet are resting on the dashboard (his legs are just barely long enough to reach). She side-eyes the kid next to her. It’s a strange, companionable silence; Elliot’s not here, but a piece of his presence is and it feels remarkably similar.
“It’s my Dad’s favorite color, too.” She looks over, surprised, but he’s already jumping out of the car.
She turns to see Elliot step out of the house looking like he just walked out of a war zone. He’s got a pop-tart hanging out of his mouth while he fidgets with the case file he’s holding, kicking his feet into his shoes as he walks. His cheap shirt has a ketchup stain on it and is buttoned up wrong. Olivia shakes her head, laughing, and is reminded of why she stopped to get her partner a coffee this morning. Father and son pass each other and mumble ‘Love yous’ and to Dickie a ‘Behave, don’t torture your sister!’ Dickie grumbles something in begrudging agreement and goes to grab his backpack.
***
The next time Olivia is at their house for any notable amount of time is in the middle of the night. She bangs on the door, and Dad goes out to argue about something on the front porch. Dickie quietly sneaks out his bedroom window and crawls out onto the roof above the porch. I’m not eavesdropping, they’re just being loud, he reasons. Dickie notices that there are some guys across the street that came with Olivia. He thinks that’s what they’re fighting about.
“You can’t trust your partner, Elliot. It’s time to get a new one,” he hears Olivia say. Dickie’s heart sinks. His dad can’t get a new partner. Olivia’s his dad’s best friend; they have the same favorite color! He sneaks down the stairs to talk to his dad.
His dad’s still on the porch, head in his hands. “Dad?”
“Dickie, what’re you doin’ up, bud? It’s a school night,” he sounds sad, though, not angry.
“Why’s Olivia want a new partner?” he asks, clearly distressed. “What’d you do?”
That gets a laugh out of Elliot. “You assume I did something?”
“Well, why else would she be mad?” Elliot shrugs.
“Yeah, alright. We disagree ‘bout somethin’ at work. But I don’t think she meant that. She’s just angry.” A beat. Then, “And maybe I did do somethin’ stupid.”
Dickie clicks his tongue the way he just learned how. “Gotta fix that, Dad,” he says matter-of-factly.
“Yup,” Elliot nods. “C’mon, back to bed.” A moment later, Dickie is swung over his dad’s shoulder and is trying to quiet his giggles so they don’t wake everybody up.
***
When Olivia calls and has Maureen bring them all to the precinct for his dad’s birthday, Dickie thinks she’s the best partner ever. Granted, he doesn’t remember Dad’s other partners (maybe all partners do this stuff), but he’s pretty sure Olivia’s the best. She even gives Mo some money to get a cake and a ton of candles.
Dad’s really happy with the surprise, even though he seems a little worried about something. Dickie worries about him sometimes. He doesn’t like that Dad doesn’t come home after work so everybody knows he’s okay. Dad doesn’t talk about what he does, but sometimes he gets bruises or cuts on his face and Dickie doesn’t like it. Mom, Dad, and even Mo tell him not to worry because Olivia protects him; that’s what partners do. He trusts Olivia to be a good partner, but sometimes he worries that the bad guys might win. But right now, Dad’s safe with them and eating cake and laughing when Lizzie wipes some on his face, so Dickie’s okay.
Olivia’s standing by the coffee station, quietly watching them. Dickie thinks she’s guarding them, guarding Dad’s laughter. But she always stays back and Dickie doesn’t like it. He doesn’t understand why she won’t sit with them. He makes a decision and sloppily puts a piece of cake on a plate. He walks over and hands it to Olivia. She smiles and thanks him but looks confused when he doesn’t go back. Instead, Dickie steals Uncle Munch’s chair from his desk and puts it next to Olivia, climbing up to sit beside her. If she couldn’t sit with them, then he would sit with her. She looks at him with such awe that he wonders if his Dad has done this before. He hopes he has.
***
Dickie sits in Olivia’s chair, kicking his feet while he eats the pudding cup he stole from Munch’s desk. He can feel his father’s Captain watching him so he’s careful not to spill any. There’s not much to spill it on though; Olivia’s stuff is gone. Maybe she’s cleaning or something.
“Hey, kid! Those are mine!” John says, ruffling his hair as he walks by. Dickie gives him a chocolate-covered grin in response. Munch always pretends to be upset but Dickie thinks he only keeps the pudding cups there for him. Well, maybe for Lizzie, too, but he likes to think he’s Munch’s favorite. Fin walks in behind John and sits at his desk. Uncle Fin’s cool, too. He’s a little scary ‘cause he doesn’t smile or talk much, but scary in a good guy way, like he’s thinking of how to protect people and stuff. Kinda like the Captain.
“Uncle Munch, where’s Olivia’s picture ‘n stuff?”
Fin glances over Munch in the way that grown-ups do when they know something that’s not totally kid-friendly. John hesitates a moment, then gives a sad smile and sets a hand on Dickie’s shoulder.
“Uh, she’s working somewhere else for a little bit.”
“What?” comes Dickie’s stunned and slightly heartbroken response. Munch only nods and Fin eyes the boy warily, wondering if the kid will respond the way his father did.
Dickie slams the pudding cup down and jumps up defiantly. “When’s she coming back?” he asks in the most threatening voice a barely thirteen-year-old can muster, looking at John like he stole Olivia.
Yeah, that tracks . Fin nods and goes back to his paperwork, ignoring the inevitable scene about to be made by another Benson-less Stabler.
“I don’t know, kid. Hopefully soon.”
“But what about my dad? Who’s gonna be his partner?” In true Stabler fashion, the kid’s walking the line between crying and fighting the first available target. Just then, a blonde walks in and sits at Olivia’s desk, confused as to why there’s chocolate pudding everywhere. Dickie’s head whips around to face her, eyes ablaze. John closes his eyes. This poor woman…
“Who are you ?”
The woman looks up, startled to be addressed like that by a pint-sized preteen. “Dani Beck. Who are you?” she asks, trying to be playful. The kid’s not havin’ it.
“Richard Stabler,” he asserts proudly. “You’re sitting in Olivia’s seat. Why?” Beck’s eyebrows shoot up. Seriously, his kid, too? Who the hell is this woman?
“Olivia’s working somewhere else. I’m your father’s partner.”
“You’re not his partner! Olivia’s his partner!” he shouts, nearly hysterical at this point. Munch steps in front of Dickie before he can lunge, quickly shuffling him back into the Captain’s office.
Don immediately recognizes a distressed mini-Elliot and moves to comfort the boy. John quietly exits, shutting the door behind him, leaving a now blubbering Dickie in a chair as Cragen kneels in front of him. For a man with no children, the Captain has fatherly instincts that cannot be taught or repressed. Don waits a moment for Dickie to calm down, resting a hand on his shoulder.
“Why does everybody keep splitting up? Why can’t grown-ups just keep their promises? What keeps going wrong? Mom and Dad, fine! But Dad and–and…” he devolves into tears again. Through his blubbering, Don barely makes out, “They’re best friends!”
He sighs and scrubs a hand over his face, his own heartbreak over this rising to the surface. “They are, son. They are.” Dickie wipes at his face with his sleeve and looks up to him hopefully. It takes everything in the Captain to not march down to the FBI and demand to know where she is. “Look, Dickie…” he pauses a moment, trying to think of how best to put this for a kid. “Your dad and Liv just needed a little space from one another. You… you have a twin, right?” Dickie nods apprehensively. “You shared a room when you were little?”
“Yeah, but when we turned ten we got our own.”
“Because you got too big?” Don asks.
“Well, and we got a little sick of each other. We kept fighting ‘cause we were always together.”
“Exactly. Well, your dad and Olivia… right now, it’s kind of like that.” Dickie’s eyebrows scrunch together in confusion and Don swallows a laugh at the mirror image of Elliot. “Some things have changed in their lives, and they’re both growing, and they’re fighting a lot to try to figure out where they both fit.”
“But they fit together!” Dickie cries.
“Yes, they do,” Don nods in agreement, praying that Olivia is actually coming back and he’s not setting this kid up to have permanent trust issues. “But they need a little space to see that. They’ll get there. Just because you fight with someone, doesn’t mean you don’t love them.”
Dickie nods, beginning to see that now. “Myeah, I guess. Like the time they fought that night when Olivia came to our house –”
“Abuhbuh,” the Captain cuts him off, putting a hand over his mouth. “Do you know what ‘plausible deniability’ means?” Dickie nods ‘no’. Don sighs. “Basically, just don’t tell me about the times when Olivia’s at your house, okay? If they do something they’re not ‘sposed to and I know about it, I gotta deal with it. And I don’t wanna deal with it.” Dickie nods, confused but obedient.
“So if Olivia’s comin’ back, why’s that other lady here then?”
The Captain takes a deep breath. “Well, somebody has to watch your father’s back while Olivia’s on a break.” Dickie makes a face and Don huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, I know, but it’s not her fault she got assigned here.”
Dickie’s quiet a moment, then simply shrugs. “I still don’t like her. And I don’t like that she’s sitting at Olivia’s desk.”
The old man nods, grinning. “That’s alright, son. Just don’t go throwing pudding around my squadroom, okay?” The boy smiles shyly and nods.
Later that night, when his dad’s leading him to the car when Dickie turns to face Dani as they pass, much to Elliot’s confusion. “What’s your favorite color?”
The blonde looks confused but answers, “Yellow.” Dickie makes a quick ‘yuck’ sound before grinning like an idiot. Dickie notices John in his peripheral vision, also smirking. He knows, too. Olivia will be back.
***
The day Eli’s born is one of the most chaotic of his life. The little guy makes quite the entrance. Olivia calls Mo and the two oldest probably ran every red light in the city to pick him and Lizzie up from school (early, so he owed his little bro one). After harassing their older sisters with questions and being met with stressed-out yelling, the twins ran down the hospital hallways and into the waiting room filled with their father’s squad.
Olivia and his Dad jump out of their chairs and reach for them.
“It’s alright,” his dad says. “Mom’s fine, your little brother is fine.”
Lizzie squealed loudly next to him. “I knew it! I knew it was a boy. You were right, Daddy!” Their father grins one of the brightest smiles they’ve ever seen from him.
“Alright, room’s down there but the baby’s sleeping, so let’s go two at a time, okay?” Maureen skips the debate and rushes down the hallway, followed by their still grinning father. Lizzie and Kathleen follow to at least peer in the room.
Dickie hangs back with Olivia. The first thing he notices is that she’s covered in blood and it’s terrifying. She notices and puts a hand on his shoulder to anchor him.
“They’re alright, Dickie. It looks worse than it is.” He nods as if they’re the only ones he was worried for and sinks into a chair. She sits next to him, still watching him closely for signs of concern.
“You’re okay? You got checked out and everything?” he asks. She smiles as if she thinks it's sweet that he’d ask about her. He hates that. He hates that she doesn’t know that he cares, doesn’t know that she’s family, and he hates even more that he can’t voice it. You’re not some God-damned afterthought, Olivia. He wants to scream it but he knows it would only make everything worse for her.
Sometimes, thinking about Dad and Olivia and Mom makes him want to put his head through a wall. It’s all just so complicated. The girls all say it’s not their business anyway so it’s not something to stress about. And then they proceed to discuss it weekly. He doesn’t know his opinion on the whole thing, not like his sisters do. He doesn’t know if his parents were right to split up or to get back together. He doesn’t know if Dad and Liv should be together, or if they’re fine the way they are. He just knows he doesn’t want anyone hurt or leaving. He wants them all happy and damn it, he wants to be allowed to love them all because they all have a place in his life. He doesn’t get how something so simple can get all messed up. Olivia just risked her life to save half his family and everybody expects him to not give her a second thought. And on some level, he thinks that’s more wrong than his parents getting a divorce.
He sighs and goes in to meet his baby brother and see his mom. At least he can’t get confused by the fuzzy feeling that an adorable baby brings. Babies are simple. He thinks he’s going to be hanging with his new brother a lot.
***
The next time he sees Olivia is a few months later. His dad tells them all Olivia’s just coming to hang out and check on Eli. But something bad happened. Dickie knows before he sees her because his father’s acting strange. He got home early this morning and just sat on the porch. When Dickie woke up and went to check on him, his dad’s eyes were all red, like he’d been crying all night. Likewise, his mother is strangely receptive and open to this announcement which makes Dickie think they had a separate conversation.
When Olivia walks in, she has a huge bruise covering her jaw. She’s flanked by his father who’s gentle yet protective the way he would be of Eli; staying close to comfort her but ready to snap at anyone who might cause her pain. She greets Kathy and goes to sit on the couch, grimacing as she does so like she’s in pain.
Dickie’s horrified, terrified. What the hell happened? It isn’t just the bruise. It’s the hollowed-out look in her eyes. She looks… small. Insecure. Quiet. Even scared. Everything that’s not Olivia Benson. He glances over at his dad, who looks about ready to punch a wall just to break his own knuckle. Dickie looks to his mom who seems just as horrified as he is. Kathy turns to retrieve something, murmuring a “Be right back”. Dickie looks back to Liv, the silence making her more uncomfortable.
“What hap–”
“Dickie!” his father snaps. Olivia rolls her eyes and Dickie feels a little better knowing she at least feels okay enough to have an attitude.
“El, he’s fine.” She turns to him, determined to offer some explanation if it’ll comfort the boy. “I, uh… I fought a bad guy.”
Dickie’s quiet a moment, processing what he already knew. He asks the only question that he thinks she would care about. “D’you win?”
His father shifts, hands clasped behind his back while he bites his tongue and tries not to intervene. She looks at her shoes and quietly says “Define ‘win’.”
“I mean, you got him eventually, right? He’s in jail so he can’t hurt anybody?” She smiles, just a little bit, momentarily indulging in the teen’s simplistic perspective.
“Yeah, he’s in jail.”
Dickie shrugs. “So you won.”
She glances at Elliot, who’s now radiating pride, knowing his son found a way to make his partner feel better. “Yeah, Dick, we won.” His father whispers, maintaining eye contact with Liv. Something unspoken passes between the two; he nods and she relaxes ever-so-slightly. Mom returns and offers a babbling Eli to Olivia, who is incredibly grateful for the distraction.
Olivia stays the night, falling asleep on the couch. Elliot refuses sleep, choosing instead to guard her from his chair the whole night, occasionally giving into the tides of grief that ebb and flow as he watches the most fearless person he knows toss in her sleep. Kathy doesn’t say a word; she’ll be surprised if he leaves his partner’s side at all in the next few months. Dickie has nightmares along with Olivia, about monsters strong enough to break through shields.
But the bruise heals, and Olivia learns to stand up straight again, so maybe no such monsters exist. Maybe sometimes the bad guys don’t fully lose until the good guys heal.
***
Some days, Dickie’s so used to Dad and Olivia that he forgets about the whole ‘cop’ thing. Today is not one of those days.
Dickie hasn’t slept in two days and his best friend is out there somewhere, possibly dead. It’s his fault. He hasn’t quite worked out how yet but it has to be. Shane was fine, and then he was gone. There had to have been something he could’ve done.
He expects Olivia, of all people, to get it. Shane’s trying to get better – he just needs someone to believe him. That’s what Liv does: believe people. But she’s thinking the same way everyone else is, that Shane’s an addict and a troublemaker that ran off. She doesn’t even believe that his friend’s in trouble. He’s tired, hurt, scared, angry, and now disappointed. And then she tries an interrogation tactic. Open-ended questions, one he recognizes before she finishes the sentence. Are you fucking kidding me? He knows she’s technically interrogating him, that he’s lucky it’s not some stranger, but that stings. Not only does she not believe him, but she’s running an interrogation like he’s some random suspect and she’s not even trying. Give me a little credit. He wants to return fire and grabs for the first thing he can think of.
“Ever sleep with your partner, Detective?”
That was a mistake. And harsh. He regrets it the second it leaves his mouth. He’s pretty sure his dad is watching, so that’s great. But hey, no turning back now. This is not how he envisioned having this conversation, and for some reason, he feels it’s too soon. Which is funny ‘cause the… situation has been going on his entire life. He wants to apologize, but the words are already out and her chin tips up defiantly, so apparently he’s standing his ground.
“Never.” And he believes her. Not because he wants to, but because his dad is one hundred percent that idiotic. Besides, no way would his dad be able to hide it. He’s not subtle now, and they haven’t even done anything yet.
Olivia leans forward and looks him directly in the eyes, her own ablaze in warning.
“Are we done playing games?”
He’s fully aware that this is her being gentle, and still he feels like he just took a lightning bolt to the chest. If he didn’t know her (know that her fire is only ever used in his defense), he’d be terrified. But he made his point and she’s not treating him like a kid anymore, so he backs off and redirects the conversation.
There are three witnesses to that accusation and it’s never mentioned again. Dickie will have to apologize to Don sometime for forgetting about plausible deniability.
***
He’s rushing out the door, shoes untied, jacket half on, tie hanging around his neck. He slept in and completely forgot about his Spanish homework last night, a history paper taking precedence. He transferred to a school in Manhattan for his senior year (so he can stop hearing about Shane) which doesn’t make the commute easier, but with any luck his secret weapon for Spanish (his only A class) should be near his school.
Dickie barrels through the doors of the precinct, almost running over a uni and taking the stairs two at a time, in too much of a rush to wait for the elevators. He busts into the squadroom and thank God , Liv’s at her desk.
“Olivia! Olivia, I need help, I totally forgot to do this last night. I was working on another paper and it – it just slipped…” He’s rambling. His teacher’s going to kill him. Liv raises her hand in a ‘slow down’ gesture, calmly assessing the situation before sitting him down at her desk and taking a look at the piece of paper causing him so much stress.
“Please, Liv. I’m late. Can you just…”
“Okay, okay. I’ll make ya a deal. How ‘bout this?” She clasps her hands together, smiling as she’s pretty sure she did this last week for Elliot’s overdue paperwork. “I’ll do this for you now if you promise to come back here right after school and…” She pulls his chin up, forcing eye contact to ensure that he’s actually listening. “... go over it with me so I know you’re actually learning it and not just using me as a cheat code. Deal?”
“Yeah, yeah, totally. Back here after school, got it. Promise.”
She nods and completes the homework page in under a minute, trying her best to mimic Elliot’s handwriting (his son’s can’t be that different). The second she lifts up the pen, he grabs the page, shoves it in his backpack and runs out the door. He stops a few feet away, sneakers squeaking as he turns, runs back and gratefully kisses her cheek. “Thanks, Liv! You’re the best!” He disappears before she has a chance to say anything.
She laughs and shakes her head. He’s a damn clone. “Anytime, kid.”
In hindsight, he’ll be grateful he did that. He doesn’t make it back to the precinct for another ten years.
***
“She’s here. Shit, she’ll beat us there, Kathleen! Mom’s hurt, Dad’s under attack… where else would she be?”
Sure enough, when they walk up to the hospital, Olivia’s there. Kathleen thought, for sure, she wouldn’t just jump back into helping them. After a decade of silence? But there she is, at Dad’s side, prioritizing their family like she always did. Dickie doesn’t bat an eyelash. His father, despite the panic in his demeanor, looks like a piece of his soul has settled. He can’t speak for Liv but, chaos aside, they both look like they’re home. They’re fine, they’re where they belong. All that is a discussion for another time. Mom’s hurt – that’s what everybody needs to focus on right now. He shoves down the childish urge to immediately ask Liv’s opinion on his beard.
Later that night, after his father’s fourteen missed phone calls (does he even have it on him?) Dickie rushes into the precinct. His heart pings, remembering the last time he was here. You broke your promise , some juvenile part of his brain speaks up, and his heart sinks a little. He didn’t mean to. He’ll have to buy Liv lunch after all this is over. He spots Fin in the Captain’s office. He means to be in a rush but looking around he sees pictures of Olivia and a kid, probably her own, and he stops in his tracks. His dad had told everybody, but seeing it was a different thing. He beams with pride. Captain Benson. That does have a nice ring to it.
The rest of the squad, all new people, are looking at him like he’s crazy, but Fin nods.
“They’re on the roof.”
Fin and Dickie share a grin. “Uh oh,” Dickie breathes through a laugh.
“You got that right,” Fin says, shaking his head. “This is weird as fuck.”
“Well…” Dickie shrugs. “Not as weird as them not bein’ together.”
Fin huffs out a laugh. “Ain’t that the truth.”
He finds the roof by muscle memory, escorted by an officer to make sure nobody got locked out. Sure enough, Dad and Olivia are pacing around each other like caged lions, the way they always did when they fought. He has to stifle a laugh ‘cause this is not the time. Still, it’s almost good to see. Familiar.
***
When his dad calls them to the hospital the next night, Liv’s the first person they see. Dickie and Kathleen practically throw themselves into her arms. Dickie does his best to hug her back ‘cause she looks just as scared and heartbroken. Dad’s going to be a mess for the foreseeable future and one way or another, Olivia’s going to be the one stepping up to help him. Him leaving doesn’t matter right now. He’s got to get through this first. She can’t not help him, not when he’s like this. The yelling will come later, when they’re thinking about the future instead of surviving this week.
***
Okay. Wow. This is… not the time to say that , Dad.
The five siblings look between each other. ‘We know’ is written on all their faces. Dickie’s incredibly glad to have explained all this to Eli beforehand. The kid looks almost ready to roll his eyes, and there are worse reactions. His dad’s eyebrows shoot up, finally hearing the words he just uttered. Yeah, Dad. That… you just said that out loud. Dickie feels for him. Man, does he feel for him. And Liv, shit, poor Olivia… He’s never seen her stunned into silence before but, yeah. Her measured, professional responses are drawing a blank on that one. Only Dad… Dickie shakes his head.
Later that night, Olivia goes home after about forty-five minutes of reassuring them that he’ll be okay, that she’ll keep trying. She tells Eli to go ahead and pack a bag, just for a little bit. Eli’s still not thrilled at the prospect of leaving Dad but Olivia has magical powers when it comes to persuading stubborn, emotionally distressed Stablers. He knows. They don’t discuss the elephant in the room.
Until Olivia leaves, that is. Still too early for her, Dickie thinks. The second the door shuts, they all blow out a breath.
“Wow,” Lizzie says.
“Yeah,” Dickie agrees.
“That was uh… that was something,” Mo says. They’re quiet for a moment.
‘Til Kathleen bursts into laughter. They all look at her. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I know the situation’s not funny but just…” she wipes her eyes. “Only Dad.”
Mo snickers and they all eventually dissolve into laughter. Even Eli chuckles, still not totally sure of what’s happening.
“Oh my God, poor Liv…” Mo groans.
“I mean, what did he expect her to say to that?” Lizzie asks.
“He wasn’t thinking,” Dickie pipes up.
“Well, from what I’ve heard, that’s probably the only way this was ever gonna happen,” Eli throws out. They all turn. And start laughing again.
“Seriously, they’re both so stubborn,” Mo says through nearly hysterical laughter.
“Why is it funny, again?” Eli asks.
“‘Cause if we don’t laugh, we’ll cry,” Leen says through her own laughter. “So let’s just take this.”
“Someone should probably let Liv know it’s okay, though,” Elizabeth says.
“Woah, no, no, no, not yet,” Dickie sits up suddenly. “She’ll freak out if we even admit to considering it a possibility right now. We have to wait till Dad’s solid to have that conversation.”
“Yeah, he’s right,” Kathleen says. “We may have seen this coming twenty-whatever years ago, but somehow they didn’t. Ya know, for some of the best detectives to walk the planet…”
“They didn’t let themselves consider it,” Maureen corrects, ever the oldest child. “That’s not something you can get your hopes up for and lose.” They all murmur their agreements.
Kathleen takes a deep breath. “They’ll be okay.”
“Yeah,” Dickie agrees. “Slow, but okay. They’ll figure it out eventually.”
They’re all quiet a minute, processing everything that just happened and enjoying being all in the same room together. Then, “He really just fucking said it!” Lizzie squeals.
Maureen’s head drops back against the couch. “Oh my God.” Dickie and Leen start cracking up again.
“I mean twenty years, and he just…” Lizzie throws her hands in the air. “ said it!”
The night could’ve gone worse.
***
Dickie’s done. He’s done pretending. He’s done guessing. He’s done shutting up or beating around the bush. Olivia may not be ready for this conversation, but his dad sure as shit is.
Dickie storms out of the courtroom. Kathleen tugs on his arm and turns him to face her. He tells her everything she needs to know with the blue fire in his eyes. “You hear that bullshit?” The woman who had a hand in murdering their mother referred to his father as her ‘partner’. He doesn’t care what capacity it was in; the same rage and hurt that bubbled up in him as a thirteen-year-old has been resurrected and there’s no Don Cragen around to calm it down this time. “I’m done. He’s done. No more ‘shushing,’ Kathleen.” She pulls him closer, eyes equally fierce.
“Wasn’t going to. Give ‘im hell.” She shoves his arm, and he turns and bolts out the door in the same movement.
Kathleen turns to see Olivia walk out of the courtroom a few feet away, eyebrows raised. Kathleen flashes an innocent smile and shrugs.
***
Dickie throws the door of the cafe open and scans the room for his father. The second the two make eye contact, Elliot’s standing up to take this outside. This isn’t going to be a quiet conversation. Dickie just glares at him as he walks past him and out the door.
They walk to the alley beside the building without discussing it, hoping it’ll afford them some privacy. The second they reach it, Dickie does an about face.
“What the hell, Dad?”
“Dick–”
“No! You went to some woman – who, by the way, murdered my mother – and made out with her?”
“I swear, I didn’t know she was involved with –”
“That’s not the point, Dad! I don’t care if you knew or not! What I want to know is why the fuck are you kissing some random woman when we both know the only person on the face of this planet that you are even remotely interested in is right in front of you for the first time in ten years!”
That shuts his dad up, eyes widening. In panic or shock, he can’t be sure.
“Are you not aware that you should be on your fucking knees begging her to even speak to you? A fear of rejection would be valid, but you’re not even trying! But I know you love her! Are you just that much of a coward?! Do you not see her, Dad?” Tears spring to Dickie’s eyes. He didn’t think his father would let him get this far, but apparently they’re going all the way. He needs to hear it.
“Olivia’s your best friend. That woman loves you so damn much that she would throw her whole life out the window – not just in defense of you. No, in defense of your family. You saved each other’s asses and then she sent you home to mom everyday for almost fourteen years! She delivered Eli and saved mom’s life! She chased my ass up and down Manhattan for two days straight. She drove to Long Island on her day off to speak to your mother to save your daughter. All that time, all she’s done for us and she’s never once expected even a thank you. She doesn’t even expect us to include her! She’s content being our guardian and standing on the sidelines as long as you’re happy!”
Elliot recoils at that, tears brimming in his own eyes. He knows it’s the truth but until now he never thought there was anything he could do about it.
“You abandoned her for ten years and she jumps right back into it without a thought for herself, only now you’re just letting her carry all the weight. First few months? Fine, you were down bad. Then you go UC on us. Fine, it’s the job. But now? You get involved with some other woman? What the fuck, Dad?”
Dickie’s out of breath from screaming and Elliot’s out of breath from being smacked over the head with the truth. He leans against the building for support. “Fuck,” he whispers.
He gets the message. Dickie decides to take pity on the man, not relenting in his argument, but setting a hand on his father’s shoulder. Elliot looks up at him, ashamed that it took his kid to make him confront this. “She’s not an afterthought. She doesn’t need to watch over us from a distance. Just make sure she knows, Dad. Not with words, with actions. Whatever relationship you two end up having, she’s family. She’s fucking earned the title.”
His father nods and stands up, pulling him into a hug. He chuckles. “Thanks, kid.” He pulls back and places his hands on either side of his son’s face. “And I’m sorry. For all of it.”
“S’alright. Just gotta fix it, Dad.” Dickie smiles.
Elliot laughs. “Yeah. Just gotta fix it.” He swings an arm around his neck and kisses the top of his head. “Proud of you.”
***
He tells his sisters that his mini-intervention went much better and seems to be sticking. They’re skeptical but when his dad tells them all Liv’s coming for Christmas, Dickie beams with pride.
Plus, Fin promised to pay him for updates, the amount varying on the significance of the events. He’s already owed two hundred for keeping tabs on the whole Eli thing. He figures this’ll earn him a solid hundred. If he gets pictures, maybe even one-fifty. Dickie’s pretty sure it’s proof for Munch.
Whatever Dad’s sergeant came to tell him seemed upsetting (they all figure Wheatley’s probably free), but Dad seems to be trying to focus on other things. That task becomes significantly easier for him when Olivia arrives, an adorable curly-headed kid in tow. She’s also armed with presents, because of course, she is.
“Liv, I told ya you didn’t have to,” his father says softly.
“And since when did I take orders from you, Detective?” she asks playfully. His father huffs out a laugh and makes introductions for Noah, as well as for Mo’s family. Dickie finally gets to ask her opinion on his beard, a conversation that his father very attentively listens to.
As soon as Noah catches a break, he makes a beeline for Dickie. “You’re Dickie?” he asks, dead-serious.
“Yeah, that’s me.” Noah offers a handshake, two hundred bucks passed in it.
“From Uncle Fin.”
Dickie grins and ruffles the kid’s hair. “Alright! I got a new partner in crime then, huh?” Noah beams.
“Yup,” he says, popping the ‘p’.
“Fin know about today?”
“He does but said if you get him good pictures, he’ll still pay.”
Dickie nods. “Done deal.”
“What are you two troublemakers up to?” Bernie asks. Noah freezes but Dickie just laughs.
“It’s cool, Grandma. Just plotting to get Dad and Liv together,” he whispers.
“Ah, I see. Do a good job of it then, will ya?” Bernie grins.
“Yes ma’am,” Dickie responds. Noah’s jaw drops when she walks away.
“How many grown-ups are in on this thing?” he squeals.
Dickie laughs. “Kid, you don’t know the half of it. I’ll tell ya the whole story sometime.”
After dinner, a few presents get passed around. There are a lot of people, so they decide to exchange gifts independently instead of as a group. Olivia walks over and hands one to Dickie.
“Aw, thanks, ‘Livia. I’m sorry I didn’t get you one, no one told me–”
“That’s fine, Dickie. I wanted to.”
He opens it and his eyes instantly fill with tears. It’s a plain, baby blue dress shirt. She just smiles and shrugs, eyes full of love.
“You said you didn’t have enough,” she says softly. He laughs.
“Yeah, like a million years ago! Liv –” He sets the package down on the counter and pulls her into a fierce hug. She beams and hugs him back.
“I remember,” she whispers. He sniffles, not totally realizing how much she cared until now.
“Love you, ‘Livia.”
“Love you, Dickie.”