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They were both huddled in a bathroom, shouting obscenities at one another while the disturbingly, loud speakers shook the walls. If it wasn’t for the music, their voices would probably be enough to make the room shake.
Cassie held onto the bathroom counter in an attempt to remain balanced, but that was hardly enough to keep her standing, feeling so intoxicated she could hardly pay attention to whatever Lexi was screaming about.
“God, why do you always fucking do this Cassie? Why? All you do is cry, and lie, and fucking sneak around - you don’t tell me anything - but guess what? I have to be there to pick up the pieces when everything falls apart. Not you. Not Nate. And definitely not mom! Me!” Lexi was shaking in frustration, so upset that her sister was not getting any of this into her thick skull. It may be Lexi’s fault for believing that she could breakthrough to her sober, let alone piss drunk, and yet here she was - relentless in her attempts to get her sister to understand.
It was only about a week since Lexi learned the truth about her and Nate’s situation. It made her stomach turn with nausea and disgust. How could she do this to Maddy? Even more so, how could she do this to herself? Regardless of Nate’s “status” in the town, it was apparent to everyone that he was not a great person, and definitely not a great boyfriend. — And yet, none of that mattered to Cassie, because what she wanted wasn’t a great boyfriend - no, she didn’t think she was deserving of that, instead she settled for whatever fucked up thing they had going on, and it hurt Lexi to no end.
“I am more than capable of taking care of myself, okay? I don’t fucking need you or anyone picking up after me.” Cassie’s words slung together, the alcohol rich in her voice, and the hypocrisy of her statement was enough to make Lexi laugh patronizingly.
“Look at yourself, Cassie. You might want to before you go back out there and sneak off with your psychopath of a boyfriend while Maddy walks around not knowing how shitty of a friend you are.” Lexi was huffing and puffing in anger, trying hard to catch her breath; she felt like she was on the verge of an anxiety attack.
Cassie stumbled closer to Lexi, pointed her nail at her chest, her finger pressed against the floral fabric of her sister’s dress.
“I may be a shitty friend, but you know what,” Cassie gulped, and Lexi feared she might vomit all over her shoes, before her sentence spilled out, “At least I have friends to be shitty to. And a guy who loves me. That’s a lot more than you can say.” Her words were venomous, and her breath reeked of alcohol, resulting in Lexi shoving her away.
Shaking her head, Lexi remained stoic, not showing any reflection of pain even if her words did sting, and stated matter-of-factly, “That’s not anything to be proud of. And if you think that Nate actually loves you, I feel sorry for you.” Before she could hear another bullshit response from Cassie, she was storming out the bathroom, slamming the door in her face, and disappearing into the haziness of the party.
Her heart was pounding so fast, she thought she was going to have a God damn heart attack right there and then. She pushed and squeezed herself into the kitchen, where bottles of alcohol littered the countertop. It wasn’t like Lexi to drink, not that she hated it, but it wasn’t exactly her specialty. She always struggled to get tequila shots down, or tried her hardest to not make a face when chugging a White Claw, but she wanted something to subdue the heaviness in her chest — and the bottle of Casamigos laying on the table seemed as if it could do the job.
Before she could think much about it, her fingers were wrapping themselves around the bottle, pulling the cork cap out, and she dumped it into a red solo cup. She eyeballed it, and gasped as the liquid flew in a bit quicker than she expected. Realizing there was a lot more in her cup than she bargained for, she bit her lip nervously, before shutting her eyes, and threw it into her mouth - the burning sensation beginning immediately.
“Oh, fuck.” She gripped the counter, eyes still shut, as she fought the urge to gag from the alcohol that set fire to her stomach.
“Yo, you took that like a champ.” That voice was enough to force her eyes open, and she looked up to see Fezco standing in front of her; he had watched the whole thing, a look of amusement on his face.
She sighed in relief, tossing her cup to the side, and throwing both her arms around him. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you.” Her words were sweet and sincere. He was the only person in her life that she felt understood her completely. They were so vulnerable and genuine around one another, it was the biggest reason as to why she was so stupidly, childishly in love with him - and yet she never said a thing.
They had been friends for months now, hanging out every waking moment of the day. He’d pick her up from school, she would go with him to work at the liquor store, he’d listen to her talk about the play she was directing for hours, and she would worry relentlessly about him when he’d leave for business. Their relationship became one of the biggest parts of her life, and it wasn’t soon for her to become sick with love. Of course Lexi was never big with confrontation, and that included confronting her own feelings. Her main concern was that Fez didn’t feel the same way. Sure, she may have caught him staring at her whilst she did homework, or sometimes their hands would brush while they walked next to one another, but she figured it was all in her head — and ruining this friendship they had, the one thing in her life that made sense, wasn’t worth it.
Fez smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist, sinking into the hug, “It’s a good ass party if I see you here.” She slid away from him, her hands now placed on his arms, and she stared up at him through her eyelashes. He could see despite the happiness in her tone, there was a vacancy behind her eyes, and he caught onto it fast.
“Yo, you good Lexi?” His face was riddled with concern, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to dissect what she was feeling.
It wasn’t easy being so closed off, and the moment Fez asked her what was wrong, it caused a lump to form in her throat. She rolled her eyes, annoyed with herself, and gulped, “How much time do you have?” She forced a laugh, in an attempt to lighten the situation, and keep her from getting teary.
Fez cracked a small smile, still worried about whatever it is that had happened to Lexi, and told her, “For you? All the time in the world. Les’ go.” He grabbed her wrist, the bottle of Casamigos now in Lexi’s free hand, and Fez pulled her out from the kitchen and into the backyard, finding a seat at an empty patio table nestled into a corner where only a few smokers took residency.
The minute they sat down, the words poured out of her like lava, and Fezco enjoyed her rambling like this, but it always bothered him when it had to with Cassie. He had voiced his concern for Lexi millions of times, stating how unfair her sister and mom treated her, and that yes, family is family but it still don’t make it right.
“I’m sorry that she’s always doin’ that shit, Lexi. It’s fucked up.” His head is shaking with disbelief, and he places a cigarette between his lips, taking drags in between their conversation.
Lexi sighed upsettingly, taking a swig from the bottle now, completely discarding the red solo cup she was using before. At this point, she had to have been 4 shots in, and entirely feeling it.
Fezco watched her carefully, realizing where this was headed, and attempted to slide the bottle away from the table. “Don’t let that shit she says get to you, aight'? She’s just fucked up right now and ain’t thinkin’ so clear.” Lexi pulled the bottle back towards her, holding onto it as if it were a life jacket.
Ignoring the fact that Fezco clearly was trying to take the bottle away from her, she slurred, “I don’t know if she’s ever thought clear, once in her life. — And who the fuck does she think she is? I have no friends? You’re my friend. You’re my best fucking friend. She doesn’t even have a relationship that comes close to ours in her life, and we just met a few months ago. Give me a break.” She attempted to down more tequila, most of it missing her mouth at this point, but the nausea subsided with the fact that it was beginning to taste like water.
Fez was smiling at her now, she may have been upset and very drunk, but she was incredibly cute, it made his heart skip a beat the way she spoke of their relationship. He couldn’t help but wonder if maybe she felt for him the way he felt for her.
“You been hoggin’ that bottle all night, ain’t even offering any to me, some relationship we have.” He teased her, in an attempt to get her to hand over the bottle, so he can toss it aside before she made herself sick (well, even more sick than she’d already be tomorrow).
Lexi scoffed, rolling her eyes, “You don’t even like drinking!”
She knew him all too well. That didn’t stop Fezco from trying once more.
“Aye, you don’t either, but if you can’t beat em’, join em’ or however the fuck that saying goes.”
This earned a hearty laugh from Lexi, throwing her head back, and finally sliding the bottle over to Fez. He pretended to take a shot for her, dumping all the alcohol out behind him, and faked a look of disgust. This continued her fit of giggles, and he couldn’t help but to also laugh, watching how out of her element Lexi was right now was amusing; he had never heard her curse so much, snort between laughs so much, and she had all his attention.
As a matter of fact, he entirely forgot this party was for business, supposed to be selling, but Lexi was now his main priority. A kid made him realize this once he walked over to the two of them, giving Fez a knowing look that he wanted whatever Fez was offering, but Fezco waved him off.
Lexi was completely unbothered by her surroundings, not taking notice of anything, or the fact that people kept trying to walk up to them for drugs. In her eyes, the only two things in this world right now were Fezco and this rusty old patio table that she wanted to deep clean.
Word must have gotten around that Fezco wasn’t selling, because he saw Ashtray storming over to their table.
“Yo, why the hell are people telling me you ain’t selling? What happened?” It was hard for Lexi to understand what Ashtray’s tone was. He seemed pissed but also concerned and it was hard enough for Lexi to understand the English language right now in all honesty.
Fezco didn’t respond, but instead tilted his head towards Lexi who stared at the two of them with the goofiest smile, eyes drooping a bit.
“The fuck did she take?!” Ashtray’s eyes were wide as ever, baffled, as he had never seen Lexi like this before. He had his fair share of quality time with her since she starting coming around so often, and seeing her high or drunk has never so much as crossed his mind.
“That’s the look of someone who just took, uh, prolly’ like 6 shots.” They both looked over at her, her brown hair slightly frizzy, and that giant smile still on her face.
Lexi raised her hand up to say hello, and slurred out, “Hi Ass - Ash, Ashtray. Sorry I can’t speak.” She covered her mouth, attempting her hardest to not become a giggling mess.
Fez bit the inside of his mouth, also trying hard to not burst out laughing at her mess of words, as if Ashtray was a parent, and they’d both be grounded.
“So the fuck she gotta do with us not selling?” Ashtray threw his hands up, annoyed as ever.
“Just take over for me, man, I have to watch her, prolly’ gonna end up taking her home too. I ain’t gonna leave her alone.” Before Fez was even finished speaking, Ash walked away with his hands crossed over his chest, storming back into the bustle of the party.
“I think he was mad.” Lexi stated, seriously, before bursting out into a fit of laughter, snorting as she did so. Fez had never seen this side of Lexi before, she was so unfiltered. Even when they smoked together once, which he later found out she only did so he would think she was cool, did not elicit this change of persona. Little did she know, the minute she rambled on about Christmas and God their first time meeting, he was sold on the fact that she might have been the coolest person he’d ever met.
Still in a fit of laughter, Lexi leaned back on the chair, before completely falling backwards.
Immediately Fez jumped up, and caused all the stoners to huddle around her, Lexi continued laughing so hard, gripping her stomach with a belly ache. Fez’s laughter turned from concern back to laughter in a minute, seeing as she was okay.
“Hey is your girlfriend good, Fez?” One of the kids around them asked, not even knowing who it was, probably just one of the many customers he’s served over the years, and Fezco nodded still laughing.
Fezco was kneeled down next to her, the two of them chuckling so hard that tears began to form.
“Yeah, she’s good man. Thanks.” Fezco answered the kid, not breaking away from looking at Lexi, his hands cupping her face.
Finally catching his breath, he told her through a smile, “Damn, you are so drunk. I gotta take your ass home.” And despite Lexi’s drunken state, she agreed, her heart beating quickly with the fact that he didn’t deny her being his girlfriend and his warm hands were touching her red face.
He pulled her up from the floor, and dusted her backside off, attempting to remove all the leaves she managed to crush on the way down. They had never been so handsy in all these months, it made Lexi wonder if she should drink more often around him, it was a silly thought, but she enjoyed the intimate touches that much.
“C’mere.” He mumbled to her, slinking his arm around her shoulder, and squeezing their way back into the party, keeping her incredibly close to him.
Through the crowds of people, Fez managed to spot Cassie across the room, and turned in the opposite direction, doing whatever he could from avoiding the girls running into one another, especially when Lexi was in such a state.
His plan seemed to fail, as Cassie spotted the two of them leaving, and yanked on Lexi’s arm to spin her around.
“Where are you going?” Cassie shouted at Lexi.
“I’m leaving, why the fuck do you care? Shouldn’t you be like hiding in a bathroom with Nate or something?” Lexi argued back, still holding onto Fezco.
Cassie turned pale at Lexi’s remark, realizing that this secret of her’s was not so secret, and that Fezco was well aware of what she was up to. Fezco stared at Cassie rather uncomfortably.
Despite Lexi’s intoxication, she picked up on her sister’s body language quite quickly, “What? You’re embarrassed that someone else besides me knows? You seemed so proud of it an hour ago. Just leave me the fuck alone.” Lexi grunted at her, trying her hardest to refrain from slurring, as if the alcohol would diminish the power her words held, and just like that the two of them were out the door, with Fez helping her into the passenger seat.
Moments ago, Lexi was in a fit of laughter, falling out of her chair, embarrassing herself, and now she was in Fez’s car, silent as a mouse.
“I don’t want to go home, Fez.” Her words were flat, her hand rubbing her forehead, trying to alleviate the spinning motion that was quickly taking over.
He turned his head to look at her, and pulled off the road, putting the car in park, so he could give her all the attention she needed. More than anything, he was worried she was going to get sick if he continued driving.
“I ain’t gotta take you home if you don’t want to go… But I don’t want you gettin’ into trouble either. And you’re drunk right now, so that might not mean much to you, but Ion’ want you regretting shit tomorrow morning.” He stared at her, wondering whether or not he should reach out, and touch her face or her hand, give her any sort of comfort she deserved right now.
“I have a feeling I’m gonna regret everything tomorrow, anyways. …Can you take me to your house? I really really don’t want to go home.” She begged, as if that was even necessary, Fez was putty in her hands, and would do whatever she asked of him, always.
“You ain’t gotta ask twice.” He cracked her a smile, deciding to give her hand a tight squeeze, and then he promptly turned the car back onto the road, and took her back to his house.
He walked her in the front door, she still stumbled around, like a baby deer taking its first steps. The house was empty, as Ash was still tending to business at the party, and most likely would be for a few more hours. He knew he’d have to leave to go pick him back up again, but he’d wait til he knew Lexi was fast asleep, most likely with the trash can next to her.
“C’mon, let’s get you to bed.” His hands were gentle with her, as he guided her over to his room, her eyes drowsy, and her body so drained.
She flopped onto his bed, her Mary Janes dangling off the bed, and he carefully removed them for her, knowing she wouldn’t be able to get back up til morning.
“Yo, I know you don’t wanna, but you might wanna tell Cassie that you’re sleepin’ over or somethin’, just so she ain’t worried. Y’know how she gets.” His voice was barely above a whisper. Lexi wasn’t asleep or anything, as a matter of fact, she was staring right at him, but he felt as if she could use without any loud conversation right now.
Lexi nodded in agreement, and she stared at her phone’s brightly lit screen for a moment before tossing it over to Fez, which insinuated she wanted him to type it out for her. — Which he did, no questions asked, and placed it on the night table next to her.
“Can you just sit next to me, please? I don’t want to be alone.” Her words were mumbles, coming out so slowly, and he sat at the foot of the bed, looking over at her eyes that were slowly shutting.
A few moments passed, and he swore she fell asleep, but she broke the silence, eyes still shut.
“Why are you so nice to me?” Her words were so delicate, and he felt them tug at his heart.
“Whatchyu’ mean ‘why am I so nice to you?’ ‘Cause you’re the coolest person I’ve ever met, forreal. I mean, shit, Ion’ even know why you like hanging out with me so much.” And although her eyes were shut, he looked at her, the entire time he spoke, because he thought she looked unreal - like a vision.
Her eyebrows furrowed with disdain, “I love hanging out with you. There’s no one in the world I’d rather spend time with than you. Don’t think like that.”
She was funny sometimes and didn’t even know it. She could be so insecure, and feel as if nothing could fix that, but the moment someone she cared about showed their insecurities, she was quick to shut them down. He only wished she could see herself the way he saw her.
There was another moment of silence, and she was the one to break it again.
“Can you lay next to me?” Now her eyes were open, looking at him, and he nodded assuringly. He slowly moved over to the empty space next to her, trying to keep his distance from her, as to not make her uncomfortable, or feel icky that she was drunk and he was laying next to her. It didn’t mean anything, because they were friends, they’d always be friends but the last thing he wanted was for her to felt violated. He thinks he’s thinking too much of it, and instead follows what she asks of him, pushing his thoughts aside.
He stared at the backside of her — her hair falling onto the pillow, and while it was messier than usual, it looked so beautiful the way it shined against the dark sheets she laid on. Before he knew it, she was turning around to look at him him, their faces only a short distance away from one another. He felt his heart race a bit and wondered if he should stand up, but her hand reached for his face, fingertips grazing against his beard, and now Fezco was afraid he might have a heart attack.
Lexi couldn’t believe the confidence that washed over her, and at this point, she had simmered down from the drunken state she was in a mere 30 minutes ago. Not to say that she was sober or anything, but she was far more coherent now than earlier.
They stared into each others eyes for awhile, it was incredibly personal, it didn’t feel weird or uncomfortable, it felt insanely pure.
Lexi looked down at his lips then back to his eyes, they were gleaming, and the drunken spinning had finally stopped, her hand still cupping his face, and Fezco whispered, “I can see me in your eyes.”
To which Lexi smiled, “I can see me in your bed.”
It was far more intimate than either of them were prepared for, but Fez knew it was the alcohol talking, despite her looking more alert than ever before.
Fez bit his lip, nervously, and sat up, not wanting to let her do or say anything else she might regret in the morning.
It’s as if she read his mind because she laid up just as quick and blurted out, “It’s not cause I’m drunk you know. What I feel for you, what I’ve always felt for you, it’s more than a friendship. And I hope I’m not ruining everything by saying that, but it’s true, and you should know it.”
His heart was racing, his vision blurry, feeling as if he couldn’t conjure up a single thought — was he drunk too? Drunk off of her it seemed. God, it’s so fucking corny, and yet it makes so much sense. Every love song he ever heard, every romance movie he watched, all those poems Lexi read to him, it all made sense to him now more than ever. It was so embarrassing in retrospect, but at the same time, the best feeling in the world. He wanted to scream it out the window, tell everyone he knew, kiss her a million and one times. He had to fight the urge to smile, the corniest, cheesiest smile ever, but his will power was no match, Fez sat looking at her, shaking his head, laughing.
She was confused, and maybe slightly hurt by his laughter, not understanding what was so funny or entertaining about her full on confession. She smiled in return, feeling a blush creep onto her face, and she tilted her head at him, “What?”
“You mean to tell me, I coulda’ told you I loved you a long ass time ago? I gotta be the dumbest mother fucker alive.” He shook his head, still smiling at her.
Lexi buried her face in her hands, her cheeks aching as she smiled way too big, feeling as if her chest was on fire, or like she was going to cry from pure, unabridged happiness. Fezco moved to lay back down next to her, her back facing him, and he slid his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Lexi shut her eyes, reveling in this moment, wishing she could live in it forever. She whispered out to him, “I love you too, by the way. — I guess being drunk has its perks, huh?” Her hands went to rest on top of his, and she let out a content sigh.
Fez knew he was going to leave soon, and the feeling of leaving her was a dreadful one. He never wanted to move from this position, never wanted to sleep a night without her to hold again, but he knew when he came home, she’d still be here, waiting for him because they loved each other, and fuck, did it feel so good to finally admit that. He pressed a gentle kiss against her head, and whispered back to her, “I guess so.”