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Saiki rued the day he let Toritsuka into his life.
From the first day Toritsuka showed up at his house, far too early after sending the letter, he knew something was wrong with the guy. Babbling in an overly honest fashion about wanting to get rich using his power and asking ghosts about naked girls, it was obvious that being a spirit medium was the most normal thing about Toritsuka.
Saiki had to admit that the story about not being able to tell apart ghosts from humans and not realizing that his grandparents were ghosts was tragic, but that did not excuse running around like a sex-crazed maniac, trying to touch all the girls in sight. After all, Toritsuka wasn’t feeling up every boy he laid eyes on. At least, Saiki didn’t think he was, but he wouldn’t put it beyond him.
So if Saiki felt any sympathy for the spirit medium who could see dead people everywhere, a world crawling with the departed, Toritsuka’s personality soon evaporated any pity towards him.
Saiki didn’t know when he and Toritsuka seemed to have become something akin to friends, but he certainly hadn’t been aware of it until the realization hit him like a truck he couldn’t avoid. If he could turn back time, he would, but that would create more problems than even he could fix.
He should have seen the signs earlier.
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1
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Saiki hadn’t even wanted to go on this stupid class trip to Okinawa in the first place, especially not in Teruhashi’s group, which firmly planted him in the undesirable region of ‘Standing Out’. It was unbearable from the moment he boarded that plane – having to fight a hurricane and carry an entire plane was not how anyone would want to start what was supposed to be a relaxing vacation.
Then again, nothing was ever relaxing for Saiki.
So, it was a relief when he could finally escape to the beach to have some time alone. The night sky was a canopy of darkness above him, brilliant stars scattered across the backdrop of blue. Slow waves lapped at the shore, jostled into motion by the light breeze, not strong enough to crescent into white-tipped wave tunnels at the shore, dwindling into damp trails on the sand. His classmates’ thoughts were a buzz of white noise in the background, far away at the hotel, leaving him with the soothing, rhythmic sound of the rolling waves.
He lay down on the lounger, shutting his eyes. He could have a moment of peaceful sleep here.
Unfortunately, God was not on Saiki’s side.
His restful nap was disrupted by someone shaking him awake and a disturbingly familiar voice yelling, “Saiki-san, wake up! There’s a huge problem!”
It wasn’t like Saiki hated Toritsuka. He could tolerate him – in small doses. But when Toritsuka was shouting fragmented questions at him in the middle of the night, shaking him awake when he had been sleeping in tranquility, it was hard not to slap him. Right now, Saiki was considering making a bargain with God; he would give up coffee jelly for a month to get Toritsuka out of his life.
Maybe that was too drastic. But something similar to it.
He pushed his hand in Toritsuka’s direction, a silent request for him to shut the fuck up and stop assaulting Saiki’s senses with his loudness. You mean go back to the hotel? What is he panicking about?
“What’s going on? Why did the hotel disappear?” Toritsuka’s voice was getting louder, and he was waving his arms around in panic, still yelling right into Saiki’s ears. “You did this, right?”
It was difficult for Saiki to focus on figuring out what he did to the hotel when Toritsuka was panicking beside him. Really, he would have thought that Toritsuka would have more faith in him after witnessing the extent of his powers, but he supposed that an entire hotel disappearing would scare anyone.
Pulling the ancient skeletons out of the ravine didn’t shock Saiki, but seeing the pure horror on Toritsuka’s terrified face was the best part of the entire trip so far.
“See, they are all dead!” he yelled, grabbing Saiki’s shirt. “You bastard! Why not only guys, but girls, too?”
Saiki remained deadpan, not letting Toritsuka see the extent of his amusement. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t shrug Toritsuka’s hand off him instantly, but for some reason, it wasn’t bothering him that much. There were few things he disliked as much as people touching him, but right now, he had more important things to worry about than Toritsuka being overly touchy with him.
Besides, his fingers were clenched in Saiki’s shirt, not in contact with his skin, and even as Saiki focused on thinking of a solution for their predicament, the prospect of Toritsuka’s bare touch flickered across his mind. The first word that came to mind was ‘clammy’, but seeing ghosts didn’t mean he would feel like one, right? His hand was probably as warm as anyone’s.
That was a weird thought train. When Toritsuka dropped his hand, it was a relief.
After realizing that he had apported Teruhashi, it came as a dismay to Saiki that he would need Toritsuka’s help to get out of this mess. Calling it risky was an understatement, but creating the illusion that Toritsuka was Teruhashi was the only way to keep the other girls from growing suspicious of her disappearance while Saiki went to rescue her.
Why do I have to solve his problems? Toritsuka bemoaned mentally when Saiki explained it. That was so ironic that Saiki almost teleported back there to slap him, right in front of everyone.
He didn’t trust Toritsuka. Not at all. The other boy had never shown any bad intentions towards Saiki, nor a desire to sabotage him, but he seemed incapable of behaving like a normal, unperverted person and it was that fact that made him a terrible accomplice. Not that Saiki would ever consider him one.
Saiki summoned him to the castle to say ‘Offu’ to Teruhashi in his place, and the images in Toritsuka’s mind when he saw her were practically nauseating. Really, Saiki deserved reparations for the emotional damage he suffered at the mental sight of that.
But afterward, the thoughts in Toritsuka’s head were much weirder. I helped him a lot today, I’m practically his accomplice. No, his friend. We’re friends.
Not friends, Saiki projected towards him, and ignored the smug sense of satisfaction still radiating from the other boy’s mind.
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2
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Staring at the petrified bodies of Kaido and Nendo, Saiki had a feeling that he’d really messed it up this time. This situation wasn’t unsalvageable, of course, but the only solution he could think of that wouldn’t arouse suspicion required him to do something he definitely did not want to do.
He could have tolerated asking Aiura for help, but Toritsuka… it was a low point for him.
To his credit, Toritsuka showed up quickly, only seconds after Mikoto entered, and he didn’t even have the misled temptation of sleeping with Saiki to motivate him. Saiki needs me, what does he need me for?
Aiura gaped at them. “You invited him, too, Kusuo?”
Saiki grimaced; the image of a threesome popped in her head, tinted with disgust at the idea that Saiki would invite Toritsuka to join them. At the look he shot her, she just shrugged. It wasn’t Saiki’s fault that she took his text messages of ‘I need you’ and ‘I’m home alone’ out of context – he was just glad he didn’t send the same messages to Toritsuka, because that pervert probably would have imagined something worse.
Still, it was sort of admirable, how Toritsuka always jumped at the chance to help him, even though Saiki insulted him at every chance he got.
For a pervert, he had extraordinarily pure eyes – it was the first thing that struck Saiki about him when he showed up in his room for the first time. I've never seen anyone so dirty with such clear eyes, Saiki had told him, and it was a phenomenon he still couldn’t make sense of. Toritsuka’s smile, when it wasn’t directed at girls, was strangely pure, too, all bright and innocent. But it was wasted on a guy like him.
Toritsuka’s helpfulness only went so far. For the first few minutes in his guise as Nendo, he played his role well, until he almost ruined it all by harassing Chono’s fellow magician. Well, Toritsuka had never done anything out of the goodness of his heart.
“If this plan succeeds, I'll think more highly of you, and I will owe you a favor. Compare that to those breasts you won't get to touch anyway. What's more important? Think it through with that tiny brain,” Saiki projected at him mentally, and Toritsuka froze, retreating sheepishly back to his seat.
Saiki didn’t allow himself to be happy often, but insulting Toritsuka was a pleasure he couldn’t be bothered to deny himself.
And if a little part of him was surprised that Toritsuka seemed to think that improving Saiki’s opinion of him was more important than the favor, Saiki didn’t pay it any heed.
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3
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Of course, Saiki knew owing Toritsuka a favor would come back to bite him later.
Toritsuka ambushed him in the corridor at school, which was already bad enough – Saiki didn’t want anyone thinking they were friends. One, because he didn’t want to stand out and Toritsuka was so abnormal that even associating with him would make him stand out. Two, because he didn’t want to be known as the friend of such a perverted guy.
“It’s for my temple,” Toritsuka explained as they walked down the street; Saiki was burning from the shame of walking beside him. “I can't eat anything for three days. They even took away all my toys and are going to keep me locked inside. Copying sutras all day is gonna suck!”
Saiki grinned. Now that was a fitting fate for the pervert, who was technically a monk-in-training.
“Stop smiling,” he insisted. “It's not funny! I can't eat for three days. I can't read porno magazines for three days!”
You shouldn’t be reading those. You probably deserve this for whatever you did anyway.
"I didn't do anything! I just charged money to ring the bell on New Year's and hid some porno magazines inside a Buddha statue.”
Well, that was sickening. Pay penance for three years.
"Since I'm being locked up, I want you to deliver me food. That should be easy for you. Just sneak some food to me—and porno magazines if you can.”
Saiki was already walking away, ignoring Toritsuka’s yells for him to come back and listen. To his annoyance, he heard Toritsuka saying, “I trust you,” which was utterly ridiculous. Why did that idiot think that Saiki would want to help him in any way, especially when he deserved this?
He should have stayed out of it.
Really, that would have been the best thing to do. There was no reason at all for him to lay awake at night, wondering whether he should interfere, resisting the urge to use his clairvoyance to see how Toritsuka was doing.
The first day, he enjoyed the thought of Toritsuka locked up in that hut alone, left without food or water or his disgusting porno magazines. However, by the second day, a traitorous feeling was knawing at Saiki’s gut, making him want to help Toritsuka.
Maybe it was a parasite. Maybe Kusuke had implanted a robotic organism in Saiki’s stomach that slowly secreted a poison that made his brain disintegrate.
That was the only explanation as to why some part of him wanted to help Toritsuka. Instead, he decided to teach him a lesson. So, he waited until the second day before he showed up at the temple with a bag full of food.
Toritsuka already looked half-dead, collapsed on the ground, his face pressed against the floor. When he lifted his head, his eyes seemed more sunken, which really shouldn’t have happened in two days.
His gaze immediately flickered up to Saiki, and a bright smile lit up his face. He didn’t even look at the bag of food in Saiki’s hand, which was actually pretty impressive. “You came! I knew you would.”
Then he noticed the bag in Saiki’s hand and lunged for it, but Saiki stopped him, pushing his hand away. He had something to say, and he definitely didn’t spend ages rehearsing it in front of the mirror. Toritsuka looked more and more hopeful as Saiki started talking, his thoughts tinged with his anticipation of the meal.
You’ve really done a lot, Saiki went on.
Toritsuka’s face brightened. I’ve actually helped him. He thinks I’ve done a lot. I knew he didn’t hate me. I finally have a real friend.
Good grief. He hadn’t expected Toritsuka to get so happy about that – he anticipated that Toritsuka would be happy about the food, but even smelling the feast Saiki had brought didn’t make Toritsuka smile like he was now, like Saiki had already given him a gift just by saying those words.
Saiki almost regretted what he was about to do, but it was too late to back out, so he reminded himself of all the perverted things Toritsuka had done to motivate himself to go on.
He snatched away the food he had been extending towards Toritsuka. All of it is bad.
Toritsuka’s face fell. His mind was a parade drowned in rain, storm clouds chasing away the shining sun. More than the irritation, it was filled with the bitter taste of disappointment.
But he couldn’t stop now. This was for Toritsuka’s good. You have personality issues. Fasting for three days isn’t enough. It’s time you learned your lesson. I’m going to eat all of this in front of you.
“You’re pretty awful yourself,” he spit at him. The words didn’t exactly bite, but the feeling beneath them was beyond anger, something akin to heartbreak. How could he do this to me? I would never be this cruel to him.
Saiki didn’t acknowledge it. He didn’t, because while this punishment was deserved, Toritsuka was right. As idiotic as he was, Toritsuka would never pull such a stunt on Saiki – not that he would ever hold enough power to do so. If Saiki asked him to bring him food, he would do it without question. If Saiki teleported him to another continent and told him to perform an impossible task, Toritsuka would do anything he could to finish the job.
So, as Saiki sat there, eating a spread of delicious food while Toritsuka stared at him in horror, he felt like a massive jerk. A justified jerk, but a jerk nonetheless.
Maybe that was why he healed Toritsuka’s scraped knee when he fell down, even though he had no obligation to. It undid all the training he had cemented into him, but he hadn’t thought about the consequences of rewinding time on Toritsuka’s body.
He just knew that he had hurt Toritsuka in some way that cut far deeper than a few days of hunger.
It wasn’t that he wanted to make up for it. It was just in his interest to ensure that Toritsuka remained willing to help him if necessary. That was all.
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4
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It was true that Toritsuka had done a few things to help Saiki. His assistance during the ordeal at the class trip to Okinawa, pretending to be Nendo, helping Saiki stop the train – however, more often than not, it was Saiki having to help him.
That was why Saiki was waiting in the science lab now, waiting for Toritsuka and the new transfer student to show up. At least Toritsuka wasn’t asking him for help for selfish reasons this time.
Toritsuka’s voice came from outside, loud and panicked. “Let me do that for you! Go back to the classroom, will you?”
The girl’s voice was innocent, like she had absolutely no idea that she was about to cause a disaster. “But I was the one the teacher asked. Why don't we go together?”
“No! That's the worst-case scenario! Please let me do this alone.”
Toritsuka’s thoughts were a frantic stream, chaotic fragments leaping out like splashes of boiling water, fearing for his life, for her life. But he still wasn’t leaving. I have to help her, she’ll hurt herself—she’s going to kill me—I’ll die—no, I have to help—
Saiki had to admit that it was vaguely admirable that Toritsuka was still here, trying to help her, instead of running away and saving his own life.
When the lab doors opened and Toritsuka caught sight of Saiki, relief flooded his face. “Saiki-san! Why are you here?”
What do you mean? I’m here to help you. After a pause, he added, I’m late because I was eating a coffee jelly.
Toritsuka’s thoughts were impossible to miss. He’s helping me. He cares about me.
Saiki frowned, but didn’t address it. Seems like you were in real danger. Aiura noticed that the shadow of death was clearly visible on both of you guys.
“So scary!” Aiura interjected. She could be annoying, too, but at the very least, she was more helpful than Toritsuka. “You already look like dead men.”
Like it's been painted on your faces. You could have died here.
Toritsuka’s eyes were wide with fear. “That's not funny.”
Saiki didn’t want Toritsuka to stay here for a moment longer than he had to. We already brought the chemicals in, so leave now.
He didn’t linger, diving for the door, and Saiki felt a traitorous pang of ease at the sight of him retreating from the danger here. Good grief. Even Toritsuka, I’d feel bad if I let him die.
The spirit medium could be annoying, but he had been less of a pain lately and his earnest desire to please Saiki made him hard to hate. Disliking him was easier, but recently, it was a wall that was breaking down.
So, when Toritsuka beamed at him and told Suzumiya, “We are very good friends,” when she commented on their friendship, Saiki didn’t correct him. He stopped him from leaving, mentally hissing that he couldn’t leave the unlucky girl to them, and Toritsuka’s thoughts lit up like a thousand-watt lightbulb.
He didn’t correct me! We really are very good friends. And he doesn’t want me to leave him alone, he thinks I can be helpful. He really does need me.
Good grief. Toritsuka was like a golden retriever sometimes. Oh, well.
Then the explosion happened, and in the resulting shock wave, Toritsuka somehow ended up on top of Suzumiya. Saiki braced himself. This was when Toritsuka would pull out a pervy comment or try to grope her.
“Oh, sorry,” Toritsuka said instantly, scrambling off the poor girl and jumping away from her. “Are you alright, Hii?”
Saiki stared at him in shock. He had never known Toritsuka to have the opportunity to harass a girl and not take it, and it was even more abnormal for him to ask about her wellbeing rather than complain about his own misfortune. It was basic decency, but coming from Toritsuka, it was practically chivalrous behavior.
So, if he caught Toritsuka thinking to himself later, Saiki doesn’t hate me after all, Saiki didn’t correct him.
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5
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Kusuke was a giant pain in the ass. He always was, and always would be.
But this time he had gone too far. Brainwashing Toritsuka to get back at Saiki… Saiki didn’t care what his brother did to try and take him down, but involving an innocent bystander was crossing a line. When fighting Toritsuka, he held himself back, trying not to hurt him; even with the spirit of a martial artist, Toritsuka wouldn’t be able to lay a single finger on him, but Saiki could kill him with an overzealous high five. It was hard to figure out a way to take him down without hurting him.
Then Toritsuka was unconscious on the ground, and while Saiki was more focused on the Not-Having-A-Body part of this whole fiasco, there was a stirring of panic in his stomach that he hadn’t felt in a long time. He could get himself out of this mess, but he couldn’t let Toritsuka get hurt.
If Kusuke harms a single hair on Toritsuka’s head, I’ll kill him, Saiki found himself thinking before it hit him that it was far too overdramatic to the point of being ridiculous.
But lowering his energy to limit his strength meant that he was more tired than he would be otherwise. Constant teleportation was exhausting him, and the tank wasn’t running out of ammunition.
Kusuke was almost about to deliver the final blow when Toritsuka stood up. His headband was gone, leaving his purple hair to flow freely, the strands framing his face and falling over his forehead. There was something indecipherable in his eyes, something unlike his usual self, fiery and unwavering.
“Let me do it, too,” Toritsuka commanded.
Saiki could feel the cuts on his face stinging as he stared at Toritsuka. Don’t, Toritsuka…
“You look pathetic, Saiki,” Toritsuka told him, his voice cold, and it sounded like a stranger’s words—worse, the words of someone who had taken too much condescension for too long. “You’re in shambles. What a joke.”
Then something changed in Toritsuka’s voice. A sliver of sunlight behind storm clouds. A glimmer of hope sparked in his stomach. “And yet… why would you still try to protect me?”
Saiki raised his head just as Toritsuka grabbed the limiter from Kusuke. It fell from his hand, his eyes going wide, as Kusuke injected him with an unknown substance. He fell to the floor, and if Saiki’s heart could have stopped, it would have.
Kusuke cracked a smile. Look at Kusuo. Why’s he so scared for this scumbag? “It’s a muscle relaxant.” He looked at Toritsuka with eyes glittering with amusement. “I expected this from you. You couldn’t really hate Kusuo, even when I tried to brainwash you.”
It was a truth that Saiki should have seen long ago. He knew Toritsuka’s devotion to him, but he didn’t realize how strong it was. Even his genius brother’s brainwashing wasn’t enough to convince Toritsuka to hate him, despite all the times Saiki hit him and insulted him, deserved as they were.
And Saiki had dragged him into this situation.
So, he pulled out his right limiter, watching the horror spread over Toritsuka’s face. “I don’t need normal at the cost of causing others trouble.” He turned to Toritsuka, fixing an intent gaze on him, noticing the exhaustion in the other’s expression. He had caused that. “I’ve caused trouble for you, too. I probably won’t go to school anymore. Tell everyone goodbye for me.”
Then Kusuke, that absolute bitch, admitted that it was disabled a long time ago.
To his credit, Toritsuka looked even more upset than Saiki felt, glaring in fury at Kusuke. “You need to apologize immediately! Saiki even said, ‘tell everyone my goodbyes’. He had such a nice expression! That’s how serious he was!”
Saiki lowered his body temperature to hold back a blush of embarrassment. He had embarrassed himself in what must have been at least three different ways in front of Toritsuka today, and this was the cherry on top of a horrifying sundae.
“Hold on,” Toritsuka exclaimed when Kusuke told them about the limiter that could take away Saiki’s powers. “If you take his powers away, his bad personality is all he has left!”
Saiki scowled. He could only be nice for so long. And my desire to kill you.
However, it was too late. Saiki had already shown his determination to protect Toritsuka at all costs, and there was no way in hell Toritsuka would ever fear him again after all this.
When they walked outside, the sun was setting. It cast a soft glow across the landscape, illuminating the trees in shades of vivid yellow and orange. The sunlight shone on Toritsuka’s face, pale and golden, and when Saiki blinked rapidly enough that Toritsuka’s outer form remained in his vision rather than deteriorating into his skeleton, he thought that maybe Toritsuka was a little beautiful after all.
Toritsuka yawned, stretching his arms. “Man, that was exhausting. I can’t believe you really put it in.”
He had put his normal limiter back in. The issue of the volcano erupting still wasn’t resolved, and he had a job to do before he could give this abnormal life up. Besides, this school wouldn’t be able to function without him, and as much as he hated it, he had a responsibility to uphold.
“Are you mad at me?” Toritsuka asked, though he hadn’t actually done anything wrong.
Saiki glared at him with as much anger as he could muster. Not at all.
Toritsuka bowed his head, shaking it frantically, clasping his hands together. It was comically over-the-top, but he legitimately looked fearful. “Your face is scary! I’m sorry!”
He looked away, unable to hold back the small smile that played at the corners of his mouth. I’m just kidding. He thought to himself, After everything, he deserves to know, then projected another thought outwards. I'm a little grateful.
Saiki was grateful for his help, of course, but it extended beyond that. Toritsuka liked him so much that he was immune to brainwashing, and it was a genuine appreciation that had never faltered. He had always been there for Saiki, available to help him whenever he needed it, and he had never complained about it.
“Huh?” Toritsuka said in disbelief, like he couldn’t truly fathom it. Saiki’s smile widened.
-
So, that was it.
Somehow, somewhere along the line, Toritsuka had become someone Saiki considered a friend.
It was horrifying, but maybe he didn’t mind it that much. After all, he had always liked troublesome things.
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+1
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It took Saiki sitting through a three-hour pillow fight before he could finally escape to the other hotel room where he had made arrangements to meet Aiura and Toritsuka.
Toritsuka stood up when he entered, glaring at him in indignance. “Finally! Don’t make us wait after making us come to a place like this at an ungodly hour!”
Saiki had to hold back a smile. When Toritsuka wasn’t trying, he could be absurdly funny. When he called Aiura and Toritsuka to tell them to come here at this time, they had both protested very little before agreeing to come. Though he would never tell them, he appreciated having them by his side.
“I’m seriously sleepy,” Aiura complained. “Tomorrow morning—”
Let’s begin the meeting.
“Besides, how could you leave me alone with this guy in a hotel at this hour?” Aiura went on, scowling.
Toritsuka looked more offended than ever. “I’d never do such a thing!”
To Toritsuka’s credit, it was true that he would never make an unwelcome move on someone in this position. As creepy as he could be, he had never tried to force a girl to do something against her will. However, Saiki didn’t point this out. They had more important things to focus on.
Even at this hour, Toritsuka was still energetic as ever, listening to Saiki as he laid out their plans for stopping the eruption with determined eyes. When the plans were set, he assured Saiki that he would do his part well with the passionate tone of a soldier going into battle. It was strangely endearing. It took a few hours before he started getting sleepy, bowing his head where he was sitting cross-legged on the floor like a child, his eyes clear and vulnerable. That was also endearing in some weird way.
As Saiki used his clairvoyance to observe Toritsuka the next day when the spirit medium was in his illusion as Saiki, Aiura asked, “You sure it’s safe to let that idiot act as your stand-in, Kusuo?”
He’s an idiot, but he can get things done. It should be fine.
Saiki’s answer was a far cry from all the times he had complained that Toritsuka was an unreliable accomplice, but it was the undeniable reality. If he asked Toritsuka to do something, he would get it done. As annoying as he could be, Toritsuka was more than competent when it came to his abilities or providing assistance in a situation even Saiki couldn’t resolve by himself. It was one of the best things about him.
After the volcano ordeal was over, Saiki gave up his powers. It was what he had been wanting all along.
However, he hadn’t anticipated how difficult it would be to adjust to not being a psychic. He couldn’t read Teruhashi’s mind to avoid ending up in the same group as her for a project, and he couldn’t use psychokinesis to hold up the bookshelf that fell on him. He had to be saved by Nendo, for God’s sake.
Still, even if he went back in time to prevent his friends from finding out about his psychic powers, it was good to know that they would always have his back. Even when he was under the bookshelf, he could hear Aren and Toritsuka threatening the boys that rigged the trap, with Toritsuka telling them in a scarily upbeat voice, “Let me get you an evil spirit!” If Saiki wasn’t so put out by his lack of competence after giving up his powers, it would have made him smile.
He and Toritsuka had even ended up in the same class this year, but it didn’t seem like the misfortune he would have considered it last year. Maybe Toritsuka wasn’t absolutely terrible.
When Saiki realized that a meteor was headed for earth and his telepathy returned for good, Nendo’s and Kaido’s mental voices may have been the first he heard, but Toritsuka’s voice was the loudest in his ears. This is not good, Saiki-san! You may not hear me, but please do something! I don’t wanna die without ever having a girlfriend!
Despite himself, Saiki had to smile. It was classic Toritsuka. Even at a moment like this, he was thinking of his romantic life, but underneath it, he was thinking something entirely different. He was running through his memories with Saiki, tinted with a wistful longing, followed by I don't want to die without telling him how I feel.
Oh. That was unexpected, and weird, and terrible, but Toritsuka’s mind was so earnest and desperate that it couldn’t be anything but true. Toritsuka had feelings for him, and somehow he had managed to conceal it for all this time, but it was all coming out now. In retrospect, it should have been obvious all along.
Puzzle pieces floated through his mind, slotting together in a massive collage. Toritsuka shaking Saiki awake on a beach in Okinawa, terrified that something had happened to him, running to help him whenever he was called, staring at Saiki’s face in enchantment instead of focusing on the food he was carrying, even though he was starving. Putting his life at risk to help Suzumiya, waking up in the middle of the night to run to Oshimai to stop the eruption with Saiki, refusing that ghost’s proposal to tell him the colors of girls’ underwear because it wasn’t right to let the robber go. Toritsuka carrying a bag of coffee jelly, knowing it was the best way to bribe him, beaming at him in the mornings like he was thrilled to see him.
And more. The way Toritsuka grinned when Saiki made a particularly witty comment, unabashed and full of joy. His hair, soft as feathers, and the warmth of his hands when he touched Saiki every single time they met like he couldn’t believe he was real; the only one of his friends whose touch Saiki never shrugged off. His face, lit up in the glow of a sunset after he proved that his love for Saiki couldn’t be undone even by the attempts of one of the smartest people on the planet.
Maybe Saiki had been blind, in more ways than one.
It had taken a long time for his dislike of Toritsuka to morph to an appreciation of him. In time, Toritsuka had become his friend, and if he had more time, Saiki could figure out the feelings that simmered beneath the surface. It wasn’t romantic, not really, but it wasn’t just friendship, either.
God loves me, Teruhashi was telling herself, mentally screaming it at the sky.
And that may have been true, but Saiki loved Toritsuka in some unintentional, confusing way, and he wouldn’t let this happen.
So he put his glasses on, heading for the meteor. Maybe he liked to deal with hassles.