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The door to Toga’s room opened and shut behind her. She walked a couple of steps into her room before she let her perfect mask fall. Her bubbly personality hid all her sadness so well. Usually she had no problem playing the part but it was all just too much today. Toga didn’t want to bother anyone in the League with her silly worries and fears. Things she knew deep down weren’t true but today they were gnawing at her. She just needed to shower and then she’d be free to spend the night alone in her room. Toga grabbed a pair of extra clothes she had to sleep in and her shower stuff, most of it stolen but you gotta do what you gotta do. Toga put on her fake smile again before she opened the door to the hall and walked down to the bathroom.
***
Toga shut the door behind her and leaned up against it. The shower had not helped at all, if anything it made the feeling worse. She closed her eyes and took a couple deep breaths. When she opened her eyes, she heard a noise from inside the room. She grabbed a knife from a nearby table and threw it in the direction of the noise without looking.
“Hey! Gremlin you could have hit me.”
Toga relaxed a little bit. It was only Dabi. Even if she didn’t want to be around anyone right now, at least she knew she was safe from harm. Toga said she was sorry quietly and went to put the clothes in a little bag in the corner. She was trying really hard to put her bubbly mask on but it wasn’t going back. She could feel tears start to well in her eyes.
“It’s fine you’re forgiven if you’ve got some weed to smoke.” Dabi said from his place, laying on her bed.
Toga tried her best to breathe and keep her voice even as she walked around her room trying to avoid eye contact with Dabi.
“It’s in the wooden box under the bed, you know the one.” She said, voice cracking as tears started to roll down her face.
“Hey…Toga. Are you okay?” Dabi asked his voice to soften to the special tone he only uses for her and Shiggy.
Toga tried to busy herself with things in front of her, something, anything to distract her with. She opened her mouth to say everything was fine. But the words wouldn’t come out. No sound came out of her mouth. She felt her shoulders shake and she cursed herself for being weak. She hated for anyone to see her like this. Dabi was never supposed to see her like this, she was always really careful to hide this from Dabi and Tomura. They were always dealing with so much it was the least she could do.
“I’m fine… I just…” Toga tried to get out but the sobs made it impossible to breathe let alone talk.
“No, you’re not okay. You’re shaking.” Dabi said
Toga hadn’t noticed Dabi had got off the bed and was standing by her. He gently reached out to her and turned her towards him. Dabi wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. Toga was thankful for Dabi’s increased body temperature, she was freezing from the shower. For a few moments they stayed like that. Toga deeply inhaled Dabi’s campfire scent, letting it ground her. Once Toga stopped shaking the scarred man picked her up bridal style and walked them over to Toga’s bed. Dabi carefully leaned down and grabbed the wooden box from under the bed. He sat down putting Toga into his lap so she was sitting sideways. Dabi leaned down and placed a kiss on her head.
“Okay, spill. What’s going on? And don’t say nothing.” Dabi said, opening the weed box and starting to roll a joint.
Toga twisted her hands together and started shaking again. Dabi wrapped an arm around her waist and gave it a little squeeze. Toga looked up at him and he gave her a small nod. Toga took a deep breath before she started to explain.
“It’s just sometimes I don’t feel like I really belong anywhere. Maybe I’m just holding everyone here back. I’m not as strong as everyone else here. I worry that Tomura’s plan won’t work. I worry that maybe you guys don’t really love me but feel bad for me. I….”
Before Toga could stay anything else Dabi grabbed her again and stood up.
“Dabi!” Toga said, a little surprised.
“Ah, my bad sweetheart. Here hold this for me.”
Dabi handed her the wooden box and Toga took it from him confused. The blue eyed man grabbed a pink fuzzy throw blanket and a cream colored rabbit with a black bow tie, gifts from Dabi and Shigaraki. Dabi wrapped the blanket around his neck and gave the Mr. Rabbit to Toga, who was still very confused. Dabi walked out of Toga’s room and started down the hall and it clicked in Toga’s head where they were going.
“Dabi! No! He’s busy!” Toga said, squirm in Dabi’s arms.
“Hey now! Stop moving, shorty. He’s not busy, he’s gaming. And it doesn’t matter if he is, this is important. Now, hold still.”
The tone Dabi used made it clear he didn’t want to discuss the matter anymore. Toga pouted but let the topic drop until they got to Shigaraki’s door. She made a little whine but when Dabi looked down at her she understood that she lost the battle. Dabi opened the door without knocking and closed it behind him.
“I don’t know what mayhem you two are planning to get into but I want nothing to do with it.”
Shigaraki was sitting at his desk playing some game. He hadn’t even looked over at them. He just kept playing his game. Which was understandable; they usually came in here with some crazy idea. But still Toga couldn’t stop the mood drop that it caused. She hugged the stuffed rabbit closer to her chest. This didn’t go unnoticed by Dabi’s watchful eyes. He leaned over and gave her a light peck on the lips and rested his forehead against her for a second.
Dabi turned his back towards the young leader. “Tomura.” Dabi said.
Dabi rarely called anyone in the League by their name, instead choosing to use a “nickname” for them. But for Toga and Shigaraki these names were usually said with some sort of affection.
Shigaraki stopped pushing buttons on his controller suddenly and took off his headset. Toga could see the game was left playing on the computer screen. He stood up from the chair and took one look towards the two before walking towards them. The grayish-blue hair man reached out to touch Toga’s cheek. He had on his gloves but it was still clear he wasn’t used to being able to touch people and not turn them to ash.
“What’s wrong? Is she hurt?” Shigaraki asked, looking up at Dabi, the worry strong in his voice.
“No she’s not hurt. Our ball of sunshine is having an off day.” The black haired man answered
Toga nuzzled Shigaraki’s hand and he relaxed a little bit. The two men shared a look and Shigaraki nodded. He leaned down to give Toga a kiss on the forehead. He moved over to his bed and started making a nest of all his pillows and blankets. Once he was done Dabi walked Toga over to the bed and put her in the middle. He grabbed the blanket, that was toasty warm now, and put it on her.
“I’m gonna be right back, I promise. Just gonna change and grab a couple things.” Dabi said, looking her in the eyes.
Toga nodded slowly and Dabi leaned down to give her a kiss before he left. Shigaraki went over to his computer, turned off the game, and shut down the computer. He turned on the tv he had in his room and grabbed the remote. He carefully climbed into the bed and sat on one side of Toga. He handed her the remote and told her she could put on whatever she wanted. She nodded slowly and started looking through movies and tv shows.
Shigaraki slowly reached for Toga's pinky. This was his preferred way to hold hands with his partners. It was left over from before he had the gloves. He was still getting used to being able to show affection by touch. When Toga felt the tug on her pinkie she looked over at Shiggy and smiled, her first real one of the day. She slowly leaned her head against his shoulder and gave his pinkie a little squeeze. He froze for a second but then he relaxed.
That was how Dabi found them when he came back. He stopped for a second after he closed the door to watch them. He smiled to himself watching the two people he lo….uh liked very much together. Shigaraki caught him staring and glared at him, causing Dabi’s smile to turn into a smirk. He walked towards the bed and sat down on the open spot. Toga turned to look at him but her eyes caught her bag with all her hair stuff in it. She looked questioningly at Dabi.
“Well you didn’t have time to do your hair before you came down here.”
Toga usually liked to sleep with her hair in braids but since Dabi was in her room after the shower she hadn’t had time to. She started to reach for her hair stuff but Dabi gently grabbed her hand to stop her. Both her and Shagaraki looked at him.
“Nope, you’re relaxing the rest of the night. Shiggy and I will take care of your hair.” Dabi said, grabbing the hair stuff.
“You will?” “We will?!” Toga and Shiggy said at the same time.
Dabi rolled his eyes at the other man’s reaction. “Yes we will. I know how to do it. I will help you out, boss.” Dabi said cocky.
Toga started the movie that she had picked and settled in. Dabi grabbed a brush from Toga’s bag and then picked up the young girl and set her in his lap. He then proceeded to brush Toga’s hair nice and softly, careful not to pull. Once he was done, he used a comb to section out the hair and make pigtails with two rubber bands. Dabi put Toga back in her spot between the two boys.
“Hey Doll, open the wooden box up for me."
Toga did as she was asked and opened up the box she kept all her weed stuff in. Inside was a fat, perfectly rolled joint. Dabi must have rolled it while he was holding her in her room. Toga took the joint and closed the box, pushing it off to the side. Dabi held up one finger and a small blue flame appeared. Toga lit the joint and hit it a few times before passing it to Dabi. Dabi was explaining and demonstrating how to braid hair for Shigaraki.
For a while they sat passing around the joint and the two men braided her hair, which slowly calmed her down. It was a strange feeling to have two sets of hands that were capable of such destruction, treating you so softly and with such care.
Once Dabi was done with his side he secured it with a rubber band and helped Shiggy finish his side. Once they were done Toga held up her phone to take a look. It wasn’t half bad. Dabi’s side was better than Shiggy’s side. It seemed Dabi had some practice with this. Toga gave both of the men a kiss and whispered thank you. Shiggy and Dabi moved closer to her, cuddling her between them.
"Now tell us what's going on." Dabi said gently tugging on one of her braids.
Toga whined softly and hugged the stuffed animal against her chest. Shiggy passed her the joint and she hit it a few times before passing it to Dabi.
"Sometimes I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I'm just this crazy little girl who can't do anything to help the league at all. I'm a weak link. And I'm worried. I'm worried everything won't work out. We'll get caught or...or die. I'm scared you guys don't really care for me and I'm just in the way of your relationship."
"Ah I see." Shigaraki said.
Toga could feel herself starting to shake again. She was waiting for the two of them to get mad at her. She probably imagined feelings where they were none, just part of her obsessive love. They were probably going to break up with her and kick her out of the league. But the yelling never came, instead she was picked up and placed on Shigaraki’s lap this time. Dabi moved closer to the pair and reached up and played with one of Toga’s braids.
“I’m sorry.” Toga said suddenly feeling bad for making the two men worry. “It’s really not a big deal, it's just a bad day. I’m sorry for making a fuss about it.”
“Hey, it’s okay to have a bad day. We’re not upset with you.” Shigaraki said softly.
“You’re always there for us when we’re having a hard time.It’s okay to lean on us when things are hard. You know we…..”
Dabi stopped suddenly rubbing the back of his neck, there was a slight blush on his face. No one had said the l word yet. They had discussed plans for after they took over hero society and even sometimes running away from it all and just having a life together. It was clear the trio really cared about each other but they were all afraid to be the one to say it first.
“Anyway.” Shigaraki said, shaking his head at Dabi. “We’re here to reassure you anytime you need it. Now first, not everyone needs to have a big flashy quirk like Dabi does.”
“Hey!” Dabi said, pretending to be hurt.
Shigaraki glared at the black haired man who in turn stuck his tongue out at the young leader. Toga chuckled a little bit at their playful teasing. Dabi lit another joint and hit it a few times before passing it to Toga. The weed was helping her calm down and the playful nature three of them had when they were alone.
“We also need people like you.” Shiggy said, poking Toga’s cheek. “We the people who can blend into the shadows and sneak in. Plus without you we probably would have all killed each other cause we’re just a bunch of grumpy old men.”
“We need someone who calls on our bullshit but is sweet and cares for all of us. But that doesn’t mean for one second that you aren’t allowed to feel your emotions. And if you’re hurting, say something so we can help.” Dabi said.
Toga nodded and grabbed both her boyfriends, pulling them in for a hug. She pulled back and looked at them both. She knew what she wanted to say; she just hoped that it wouldn’t freak them out.
“I love you.” She said looking between the blue eyed man and the red eyed man. “I love you both, no matter what.”
The two boys were shocked but Shigaraki was the first to gain his composure “I love you too, Toga.”
Dabi mentally shook himself. “I love you too, gremlin.”
The two men looked at each other for a second and blushed, causing Toga to chuckle a little bit.”
“I love you too even if you are a bastard.” Shigaraki said to Dabi.
Dabi smiled at him. “I love you too boss.”
The rest of the night the three hung out together. Talking, smoking, and watching Shiggy play video games. Toga moved around from the two men’s laps. And there were times she was in the middle being cuddled by both of them. Once the sun started to come up Dabi demanded they go to bed even though Shigaraki tried to keep playing games. But Shiggy came and laid down eventually. They shared good night kisses and said I love you.Toga went to sleep that night knowing no matter what happened she was loved and League of Villains was her home.