Chapter Text
Kirigaya Kazuto, was fallen, defeated. He pushed his fist heavy against his pillow, clutching his heart with the other, and opened his mouth to make a sound, any sound he can manage, but it was too late before the overwhelming pressure of something shot through his head, eyes watering, throat dry, he couldn’t help but just let them fall.
“Kayaba!” he screamed in between.
Kayaba Akihiko, the god behind the worlds he has seen so much in, should he damn him? Beg him? Can anybody fix this or is he meant to consume the pain and let it dry?
Eugeo was the name.
“Eugeo…” he whispers next, did Kayaba have eyes and ears everywhere? Did he see? Would he do him a favor?
“Eugeo is…”
Gone, Eugeo was gone. But was it the first time he ever saw someone perish? How many lives have gone out right in front of him? What is one more death to accept?
“I can’t…” But he couldn’t, not this time. He couldn’t help but cry and cry and cry and beg for something to fucking happen.
Every day was a reminder of another one of his days in the underworld, memories kept piling up in his head as he lived another life.
Like that day when they took a break in the river.
Eugeo was ecstatic, laying down wet against Kirito, his smile going numb on his face for being there for so long.
Kirito raised his arm against the blazing sun, shining bright, although he didn’t know which was brighter, Eugeo was laughing out of nowhere just because of how ridiculous and relaxing this was at the same time.
When Eugeo goes down from his high of joy, he asks, “Hey Kirito?”
“Hm?”
Eugeo raises his arm to slightly wrap around Kirito’s own, now both facing the sky.
“I’m in debt to you.” He admits.
“What are you saying?” Kirito cracks up.
Eugeo takes a deep breath that goes unnoticed before he faces Kirito’s grinning profile. “You know why, you should know, Kirito.”
He doesn’t give Kirito a chance to respond, “You are different, I never met anyone like you.”
He looks at their raised arms that are perfectly placed up around each other, he wiggles his fingers to hold Kirito’s close and sharpens their position, creating the imagery of a sword. His hand feels cold against Kirito’s.
Kirito silently watches while respectively waiting for him to talk.
“I could never be as strong as you, but when we are together,” the sword glistens “I’m someone I can be proud of, stronger than I can ever imagine I would ever get to be. It’s as if you were my next calling.”
He looks back at the boy in a surprise, drops splashes onto Kirito’s face as Eugeo looks at him determinedly, causing wet locks of hair to fall around Kirito’s eyes,
“I swear, If your arms were to fall, legs, completely I would lend you my whole.” Kirito could swear the whole river was swimming in Eugeo’s eyes.
Time seems to stop then, Eugeo creates a lot of moments like that for him, memories he can live in for longer than one would imagine.
“I’m sure if I were to fall, you would still handle them all on your own, Eugeo.” Kirito says with a saddening smile. Eugeo pulls his arm out of the strange sword equation they created to splash Kirito, “Not without you, not a chance!”
Kirito spits a good load of water and throws his arms around, “I think I gulped a fish!” which to Eugeo’s amusement is enough to break a smile.
“Wait, you really did?”
“Of course not.” He fucking lies.
The only other moment where they lay at this spot, was after their first time in battle. They were in the river once again, now silent, Eugeo was at least. Kirito remembers seeing the shine of the moon breaking in the boy’s eyes and the glimmer of a campfire out in the distance. He silently helped him wash the blood off his hands, gently touching his fingers and dipping them in the clear water. Eugeo cried silently then, watching the horrifying images of the event in his mind on the face of the moon.
Kirito couldn’t say he was used to it, one can never be ready to see the deaths of others, one can only try to act as if they are.
He heard the wavering voice of Eugeo, he seemed so small and fragile as if he was a child in those uniforms.
“K-kiri-t-to…” He tried to speak as he gulped at the air, “W-why all this!” he struggled, “Why…” Eugeo was trying to wipe his tears away with his free hand, not knowing when they’ll end, not knowing when this will all end. It was a poor attempt since they seem unable to stop flowing down his cheeks, joining the river.
Kirito was now gripping his hand, pulling him close, so close that he was almost laying top of him. Eugeo refusing to get up in his bloody garment, silently hugged him and watched the blood wash off in the river, yet never truly getting cleaned.
The desire to hold him close again grew, to press his head to his heart and stroke his golden locks, a comfort he wished to give by whispering to his ear. In truth it was to comfort himself, he just wanted to have him and talk to him, nothing seemed greater than that now.
“I don’t know. I don’t know Eugeo.”
He hugged his pillow, he didn’t know why it all happens, why we fight, die, and kill. Why he was killed. Kirito was the weak one without the other, Eugeo was wrong.
“Kayaba, you are the starting piece in this chain of loss and pain, it grew around the seed you created.”
His eyelids close tight, but even on the back of his mind he still touches Eugeo for the last time and watches particles of him depart. He loses Eugeo, again and again, every day in the blink of an eye.
“And you are the only one that can fix this.” He frees his grip on the pillow.