Chapter Text
pope was always a perfectionist. when he was younger, he would always be the last to finish school projects. he would stay up late freaking out about every last detail. when he got older, he drowned himself in AP classes and extracurriculars. he always played by the rules.
the hunt for the gold excited and scared pope like nothing ever had before. it was dangerous, and he liked it. after 16 years, the voice in his head screaming at him that he could always do better quieted. he was finally able to let go a little bit. but it didn’t last.
before he knew it, the summer bliss was over. ward took the gold, leaving him without a scholarship or any money to get to college. he confessed his “feelings” to kiara, and she denied him, and their friendship was left in pieces. worst of all, john b and sarah escaped in jj’s boat but were caught in a storm, and their boat capsized. no one knew where they were, or even if they were alive.
pope felt like a complete and total failure. he couldn’t get the gold, he couldn’t keep his scholarship, he couldn’t even keep his friends safe. was there anything he could do right?
he stood in front of his mirror the morning after, and couldn’t help but pick out his flaws. he was stupid, he was worthless, he was ugly, he was fat.
he was fat.
he pinched the minuscule amount of fat collected on his lower midsection, and felt a burst of shame. the perfectionist voice in his head was screaming. this isn’t perfect, this is gross. this is wrong.
but this is something he can fix.
he doesn’t eat the whole day. his parents don’t make him, since he’s so upset already. at the end of the day, his stomach grumbles as he’s laying in bed. he feels a sense of pride. the voice has quieted. this will make him better. he’ll do anything to quell the voice screaming at him to be perfect all the time.