Work Text:
In the beginning, the laboratory felt hollow to Takuto. The lifeless white walls, mocking him for the life he had failed to create for himself all those years ago. Or, more accurately, the life stolen from him. Everything within its interior felt too sanitized and empty, just as his whole life had.
After a while, Takuto had gotten used to this place. He would have lost track of how long he had been in here, if not for the deadline he set for Amamiya-san and his fellow Phantom Thieves to decide if they wished to accept or reject this reality. That time limit in itself seemed rather pointless—If they had any humanity, they would continue to live these peaceful, joyful lives that he gave all of them—but any worries on that had mostly fallen to the wayside overtime as he focused his attention on more people, learning of what pained them and granting them a way to rid of that torment for a much more fulfilling reality.
Figuring out what was best for everyone wasn’t always the simplest task, yet he pushed through, and eventually watched them as they continued on, completely forgetting the trauma that had been inflicted on them in the past. Being able to continue on with life, and build a strong, new world where no one had to feel pain… That had to be the ultimate goal of anyone, wasn’t it?
Something like that was much easier said than done. Sure, he could work tirelessly day and night for decades to give everyone what they wanted… But that would leave out one person in that equation.
At least, it seemed like it would.
It was the end of January when Takuto was returned to his quarters after observing the Phantom Thieves’ affairs. They seemed determined to bring an end to these ideal lives, both for themselves and others. He still didn’t understand why, but… If they really wished to fight, so be it. It wasn’t like they stood too much of a chance. Besides, a little more discussion, and they would hopefully see the truth without need of a violent confrontation. Maybe their leader would even have his own change of heart; there were many options left open to him. Not as easy as his initial plan, but easy enough to accommodate for.
Still, why fight for their old reality? With all the pain and suffering that they'd gone through… It only made sense to accept it with open arms. It gave them so much… Opportunities taken from them, wishes that they could never achieve in reality, lives that they could regain or finally obtain...
...Or people that they had previously lost.
With such power, it was difficult for him to decide whether or not to try it for himself. Attempt to give himself the life that he had always wanted, with the person that he loved more than anything else in this world. Yet, he struggled to act in such a selfish manner… He had already given her a better life, completely healed from the pain that she had suffered at the hands of heartless men. Why drag her out of that existence? She had to be better without him…
...So, it came as a shock when he was greeted by a familiar redhead casually situated in his desk chair.
“Rumi…?” He had to blind a few times just to confirm that his mind hadn’t been playing tricks on him. What he was seeing wasn’t true, and part of him knew that, but the feeling of seeing her again, after all of these years… A whirl of excitement and relief… A pang of remorse and fear at what he had subconsciously done.
“What’s that look about?” Her voice, so familiar, yet a far cry from what he had become accustomed to while she sat in that hospital bed. A warmth that he had missed so dearly… One that he had heard vaguely in their last moments within each other’s presence, but hadn’t been directed towards him in many years. “Did you get so focused on your work that you forgot about me?”
“No, not at all.” It took all the strength he had within him to put on a smile, pushing away the conflicting feelings that ran rampant in his mind. This was what he wanted, of course, but… “It’s just a surprise to see you here.”
“Really? You look like you just saw a ghost.” She let out a laugh, which Takuto sheepishly reciprocated, but it wasn’t as if she was wrong, exactly. Not that she had died, but… The Rumi that he had known in reality was far gone, and whoever stood in front of him was merely a replica.
As he found himself lost in thought, the woman stood, bending over and picking up a bento box. It was clearly homemade, a light pink sticky note with hearts and “Taku” written on it, surrounded in hearts of various sizes and quality.
“I brought you lunch,” she informed him, holding it out to him with both hands. “I put a lot of love into it, too, so you better appreciate it.”
“I do,” he uttered nervously, grabbing onto it and bringing it over to his desk, peeking into it as he sat down, chopsticks and apple juice already placed down in front of him. Octopus sausage, tamagoyaki, and bean sprout namul… She knew him too well. Considering that she wasn’t the true Rumi, such attention to detail made sense, but even when the two of them were together in reality, her knowledge of him rivaled even his own at times.
He couldn’t sit there salivating over the meal she had brought him. He cleared his throat, politely breaking apart his chopsticks and sending another look her way. It was still difficult to look at her, but he couldn’t make things awkward. He couldn’t deny her existence, or else…
“Thank you for the meal.” He had to at least show some pleasantries before shoving one of the cute sausages in his mouth. The shape wasn’t exactly practical, but it still somehow made the experience all the more enjoyable. “Still, don’t you have your own work to do?”
“My editor gave me the day off, so who better to spend it with than you?” She leaned against the desk, standing only a couple of inches from where Takuto sat. He looked away as she raised her hand, his chest twisting as he felt a light touch on his shoulder. “My last article got some major buzz. Who knew talking about good things could actually get the public’s attention? Usually they’re so focused on tragedies and gossip, but actually being able to write something positive and getting a good reaction out of it… It’s really fulfilling, you know? It almost makes you think that the world’s changed for the better.”
It was odd to hear her say such things… Not that she couldn’t be positive, but she had always held much more of a glass half-empty than he did. In a way, it felt more like himself speaking through her than what she would actually say. And sure, she had an attention to detail in their old relationship, but this didn’t feel quite right…
“Hey, are you even listening?” He blinked for a moment, knocked completely out of his train of thought. She looked at him expectantly, searching for some answer that she seemingly couldn’t make out from his troubled expression.
“Yes, I am!” The least he could do was assure her, giving her another forced smile. “Sorry, I just got a little stuck in my own head.”
“You better eat that meal before I take it away from you.” Oh, right. The food. Not that he had forgotten about it, but he wasn’t exactly focused on chowing down now. Still, he had to play along, not to worry her.
“Please don’t…!” The enthusiasm may have been forced, but he still did want to eat more. Just… Once the initial shock and wave of feelings subsided from it all.
“I’m kidding.” There were a couple light pats at his shoulder before Rumi pushed herself away with the hand she still had placed on the desk, stepping towards the couch on the other side of the room. “You look like you really need it. You’ve been getting skinnier.”
“Have I…?” Takuto glanced down towards his ill-fitting suit. Before she pointed it out, the increasingly baggier weight of it hadn't come to his mind. “I haven’t noticed.”
“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.” Her stare was cold, practically digging into him. Takuto had to force himself to look away, but even being able to avoid her gaze, the sigh that she let out made his heart stop for a moment, consumed by guilt.
“Sorry…” The chopsticks in his hand clicked together, acting as a subtle stress reliever as he kept his gaze laser focused on the meal in front of him. “When you’re focused so much on one goal, sometimes those things go to the wayside.”
“Or, you’re just making excuses for not taking care of yourself.” Well, that wasn’t exactly something he could argue against.
“Or that,” he agreed shyly, finally grabbing a piece of tamagoyaki and taking a small bite. When he looked back up, Rumi didn’t seem completely satisfied, rolling her eyes as she sprawled herself across the couch.
“I’m not leaving until you eat.” Her gaze sharpened on him, talons digging into his throat.
“Is that really a threat?” As he looked over, he saw a grin develop on her face. At least he could humor her somehow, but, really, if his question were truly the case, he wasn’t sure he even wanted to finish the meal. Maybe he could leave it alone, or throw it away, never truly finishing it on his own. Then she would stay, right? He wouldn’t have to worry about losing her again.
But, deep down, he knew that was selfish. Besides, it didn’t seem he would be allowed to do much else until he ate. So, he sucked up that greed in his heart and worked on finishing his meal, discussing with Rumi through it all. Casual topics, such as more about how her work had been going, the weather outside, strange occurrences in the past few days. The focus had been spent a lot on how much nicer the world had been since the start of the new year; once again, a positivity that he wasn’t exactly accustomed to from her, but felt validating nonetheless.
Maybe, if they had been able to spend longer together, she would be like this. They could just enjoy each other’s presence, looking towards the good of the world. The spark of hope that humanity still had through all of the pain that had plagued everyone on the planet. There could have been so much they could have done together to make the world a better place. An unquenchable resolve to help all of those who were in need.
Then again, if the two of them were able to live out a relationship together, who knew if he would have even gained this power? This power was able to help so many… Sure, he could have tried to do as much as he could with Rumi, but how far could one married couple truly get in changing the world? Here, his power was limitless. No reality holding him back anymore. Even if it had cost his happiness… It was worth it.
“Why don’t you try to get some rest?” Rumi broke his train of thought. Without even knowing, he had pulled out a notepad, furiously scribbling his mental ramblings into some physical, permanent form. It was barely legible, but, when Takuto tried to make it out, the woman was already grabbing his attention again. “You're just going to burn yourself out if you keep working like that.”
“Burn myself out?” He echoed, the words coming a bit soft from his lips. Not that he hadn’t felt a bit overworked, but that wasn’t an irregular feeling. There was so much to get done, and, as far as he knew, he wouldn’t be immortal. He needed to get things done sooner rather than later. “Rumi, we’re at the precipice of—”
“I understand,” she broke in, completely cutting him off from his elaborate speech. “Resting your eyes for a few minutes will not keep you from the ‘next big discovery,’ you know.”
“...You won’t let me go either way,” Takuto sighed, his eyes falling back down on his notepad before lightly flipping it closed. Another day for that, he supposed. His eyes fell back onto Rumi, a light smile dancing across her face.
If only he could hold onto that image forever. Photographs and memories did nothing to capture the true beauty that radiated from her face. How had ever gotten someone like her was beyond him.
“Wake me up soon.”
“Don’t worry.” A lighter grin with an indistinguishable meaning… Or maybe he just didn’t want to face whatever true emotion laid behind that pretty face. “Now, get some sleep, dumbie.”
“I love you.” It came out ever-so-slightly strained, the words feeling foreign against his lips.
“I love you too.”
He had one last look at his love’s face before drifting off from consciousness.
~~~
When Takuto awoke, the cool, fake leather of the couch cushion against his head felt more chilling than ever. The warmth that had once emanated through him had frozen with his heartbeat.
His soul felt as hollow as the world around him at that moment.
Even the boxed lunch that had been handcrafted had vanished as he looked for any sign of his love, as if from a fleeting dream or long-forgotten memory.
Maybe it had only been a dream. But he failed to believe that entirely. Everything had felt so real… It was brief, but the lingering feeling of Rumi’s hand pressed against his shoulder hadn’t quite left him.
He pressed his hands firmly against the faux fabric as he pushed himself up, as if attempting to make out any impression that someone else had been there with him only hours ago, yet nothing came of his desperate search. Only the light indent of where his head laid remained, and even that had quickly been flattening back to its original shape in a matter of moments.
What if he tried to will her back? He didn’t even mean to the previous time, so if he actively thought about it, she would be there again, wouldn’t she? Bringing him lunch, worrying about his sleep schedule, cracking little, dry jokes like she always had…
Something in him held apprehension in the idea. Not that he knew why, exactly, but his body seemed to almost move on its own as he thought of the potential of bringing the woman he loved back into his life. Eyes flickered to the notepad he had been writing on previously, flipping page by page until he had finally gotten to his chicken scratch. It took a few moments of staring, but, as if a light bulb had suddenly lit up in his head, the meaning became clear.
I have to let her go.
…It was a difficult message to read, but it wasn’t as if it were wrong. It… It wasn’t right to have something like that. Not with the position that he was in…
If only he could be oblivious to it all, just as almost everyone was. Then he could pretend Rumi was still here with him. That she hadn’t had to suffer at the hands of a cruel world that had taken everything from her. That had taken everything from both of them.
But he couldn’t pretend. As much as he wished he could, his eyes had to stay open to the truth. That was the burden he had to bear for this new world.
If it meant giving everyone the reality that they had deeply wished for, he would give up anything, even his own happiness. That’s what the Rumi he knew would have wanted. After all, he witnessed how much better the lives he created for Rumi and Yoshizawa-san had been first-hand. If he could do that for everyone, it would make his suffering worth it. All of the struggle and turmoil wouldn’t disappear, but at least he could take that away from everyone else.
He had to, at any cost.