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Riki feels… Well, he doesn’t know how to describe how he feels. Shifty? Nervous? No, not nervous. Why would he be nervous? Maybe weird? Yes. He’ll settle for weird.
Riki feels weird .
He doesn’t think it’s because of the beer. It’s not the first time he’s had a taste of it. He almost had liver failure as soon as he turned 20 because he thought drinking gallons of alcohol would solidify the fact that he’s an adult. It didn’t. It just made him feel nauseous from the hangover, and he only got an earful of scolding from Sunoo. He swore off of alcohol for the next three months after that before easing his way back into it.
Now, he’s okay with a bottle of beer.
But it’s not the beer. There was something that was making his stomach turn every five seconds and his eyes only went back to the front door despite the many people he should be socializing with in this party.
To be honest, he doesn’t care much for them. He knows he should be chatting some people up to get his name out there and widen his opportunities as a filmmaker. But he’s doing fine in Flicker, and he’d rather work with his best friends than some corporate jerk who doesn’t care about artistry.
He wants to talk to people to get his mind off of the weird feeling in his chest and stomach, but the only people he actually cares about to have conversations with are currently busy.
Sunoo and Sunghoon are the hosts so it’s only normal for them to run around and make sure that everything’s in place. Jungwon is glued to Jay’s hip and has been laughing at whatever he’s saying to a group of people like his boyfriend has said the funniest joke in the world. Heeseung and Jake are in the corner doing whatever kind of public display of affection they’re not embarrassed to do. Riki would rather not look because it’s gross. It’s like seeing his parents kissing. The thought of it makes him shudder.
So, naturally, since he’s the only single member of their group, Riki nurses a beer on the couch while waiting for something to happen. What that something is, he has no idea.
A few moments pass and the couch dips on his left. He turns to see Sunoo with his usual angelic smile and concerned eyes. “You okay?” A younger version of Riki would have swooned at this kind of attention from Sunoo. And in a way, some part of him still does, but for completely platonic reasons. He’s already moved on from Sunoo when he realized he will never get the chance. But that’s okay, he knows Sunoo ended up with someone who makes him happy. And now, even when they are only inches from each other, Riki can confidently say that his heart doesn’t skip a beat for Kim Sunoo anymore.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Riki assures him with a shy smile, wishing his reaction wouldn’t give away the weird feeling in his stomach. “Where’s Sunghoon-hyung?”
“Entertaining the guests,” Sunoo answers. “By the way, have you heard from Yeji? She said she’d be here soon but I haven’t seen her.”
At the mention of Yeji’s—the bane of Riki’s existence—name, the weird feeling in his stomach suddenly grows. He tries to will it away, but he just feels its prominent presence even more, like a metal bar in his intestines.
Riki shakes his head. “No. I haven’t heard from her.”
Sunoo purses his lips. “Oh, really? I thought you’d know. But, oh, well.” He shrugs and excuses himself, telling Riki to inform him if ever Yeji finally arrives.
Riki takes another swig of beer from his bottle and sighs out as he leans back on the couch. He doesn’t know why he’s trying to fool himself when the answer is clear: the weird feeling in his stomach is because of Yeji. Not because of her existence per se, but particularly the fact that he’s finally introducing her mystery man to everyone in this party. On Valentine’s Day nonetheless.
Yeji has been going on and on about a guy she’s been interested in. She’d swoon about how he’s handsome and tall and funny. At first, Riki thought she was lying, that she just made up some imaginary guy so she would feel less lonely whenever they all hang out. But, apparently, the guy is real, she said, after Sunoo asked her to bring this mystery guy to the Valentine’s Day party they’re hosting. And now, Riki is patiently—exhaustingly—waiting for them to arrive.
He doesn’t know what to expect from the vague descriptions Yeji has given them. A lot of people are handsome and tall and funny. But what does his voice sound like? What are his hobbies? What’s his favorite movie? Does he know how to ice skate like Yeji does? Does he like Flaming Hot Cheetos (because Yeji is obsessed with that)?
Is he treating Yeji well?
Riki doesn’t know. And, frankly, he doesn’t know why he doesn’t want to find out.
Okay, to be fair, Oh Dohyun is handsome and tall and funny. In a span of an hour, he already managed to capture everyone’s hearts. Sunoo is red with laughter and even Sunghoon’s eyes are drawn into crescents. Jay, the most difficult one to please, finds it amusing to go back and forth with him on how Mean Girls is a cinematic masterpiece. Yeji, while all of this is happening, just stands there with stars in her eyes, looking proud at how much this once-mystery-guy is finally easing his way into their circle.
Riki feels that something is off.
“Oh, Nishimura Riki, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Yeji said a lot of nice things about you ,” Dohyun says in Japanese because he is Japanese as well. It’s petty, but Riki hates that about him too.
Riki gives him a tight smile before excusing himself to get another drink. He heads to the bar and gets another bottle of beer before running his fingers through his hair to ground himself. The weird feeling in his stomach is still very much present and he’s trying to find out if alcohol could numb it down.
It doesn’t.
“Riki,” Jake calls him. His hyung joins him on the bar and looks at him with concern. “You okay?”
“Yes! I’m okay!” Riki snaps. “Why does everyone ask me if I’m okay? Do I look like I’m not okay?”
“Damn,” Jake says in amusement. Riki instantly regrets it and says sorry before taking another sip. “Are you drunk already?”
“No,” Riki answers under his breath.
Jake hums and lets the silence sit for a moment before saying, “I didn’t know he was real.”
“Who is?”
“Oh Dohyun,” he answers. The two of them look at each other, Riki looks confused while Jake looks nonchalant. “I thought Yeji was making the guy up because her brother kept teasing her why she doesn’t have a boyfriend yet.”
Riki sighs. He wants to say that he agrees. Until today, Riki thought Oh Dohyun doesn’t exist. But apparently, he does, and he’s currently laughing with her over some topic Riki couldn’t hear from the bar. How can she just stand there in her little dress and laugh like that? She doesn’t cover her mouth when she laughs! And she doesn’t wear makeup, but now all of a sudden, she does? How is Sunghoon allowing all of this to happen?
“But he seems nice,” Jake adds. Riki snorts. “What?”
“Nothing. I just think something’s off about that guy, that’s all.”
Jake looks at him oddly, but doesn’t say anything and instead sips his own beer. “I think that’s just you being a jealous best friend.”
“I’m not jealous.”
Jake claps his back. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that, mate.” And then he’s off to latch himself on Heeseung somewhere in the crowd.
Riki watches the party from the bar stool he’s sitting on. Everyone’s having a good time and love is definitely in the air. Riki feels like he’s going to suffocate. He keeps an eye on Yeji and Dohyun who were sitting on the couches, not because he’s jealous like Jake said. He’s just looking just in case Dohyun does something weird that will make Yeji uncomfortable. Men are pigs, after all.
But Dohyun doesn’t try anything. They’re literally just having a conversation and Yeji seems like she’s enjoying herself. From time to time, she would catch Riki staring at her, but he’d always avert his eyes and pretend like he’s just bopping his head to the music. The night goes on like that. And before Riki notices it, he’s had too much beer in his system.
When midnight comes, the music changes. The DJ announces a slow song and invites all the couples to take the dance floor to have their moment. Sunoo and Sunghoon were the first ones to go front and center. Sunghoon holds Riki’s best friend with much care and whispers something in his ear that makes Sunoo laugh. It reminds Riki of their first wedding dance.
And then Jungwon and Jay who were a lot more shy from the attention, but Jay looked fondly at Jungwon and maybe said something touching because Riki could spot the tiny tears of joy in Jungwon’s eyes. And then they kiss for a split second before embracing each other.
Jake and Heeseung joined them, laughing at how dumb they look because they’re not used to slow dances. But Heeseung gathers Jake’s body in his arms and kisses him deeply like he’d die if he didn’t.
And then one by one, the others join in and Riki watches them exchange sweet words and looks at each other. He never thought too deeply about love before even though he was dead set that Sunoo would be the only one for him when he was younger. Now that that’s not the case anymore, Riki just wonders if he’d ever feel the same way these people feel about love.
When his thoughts get muddled up, he just reminds himself not to rush.
The last ones to join the dance floor were Yeji and Dohyun. And that was the time Riki fled for the balcony to get some air.
“You shouldn’t drink too much.” Riki startles when he hears Yeji enter the porch. She shuts the sliding door off to mute the sounds inside the house and joins him on the balcony with a weary look. “You always act weird when you’re drunk.”
Riki is not drunk yet. He’s not planning to be. But he is a little bit tipsy. “I’m fine,” he replies. “Where’s your boyfriend?” He couldn’t care less what Dohyun is doing, but he thought he’d ask so Yeji won’t think he doesn’t give a fuck about the guy. She dragged him all the way here after all.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Yeji answers.
“Really?” Riki snorts then takes a swig from his bottle. “Then why the fuck is he here?”
“I don’t like your tone.”
“I don’t like your non-boyfriend.”
Yeji purses her lips. There was fire in her eyes that wanted to burn Riki. It’s the same look she gives him when he steals her Cheetos so he doesn’t feel too intimidated by it. “You didn’t even have a proper conversation with him and yet you’re still judging him.”
“I can read people well, and I can tell you now that your friend there is bad news.”
“You’re infuriating!” Yeji stomps her feet. Her voice is at its peak and it’s clear that she’s angry at Riki. Riki turns to her, abandoning his beer on the ledge. “You’re just being an asshole for no apparent reason. Dohyun is a nice guy.”
“Nice?” Riki laughs without mirth. “You’re going to settle for nice ? Yeji, you’re a Park . Your parents are doctors. Your brother is a popular actor. You’re surrounded by amazing people and you’re just gonna settle for nice ?”
She deserves more than that.
Riki thinks she doesn’t deserve just nice . She deserves someone out of this world. She deserves someone who could give her the moon and stars. She deserves someone who would do anything for her in a snap of a finger. She deserves someone who knows all her favorite movies. Or someone who can do weird shit with her at 4AM so she won’t cry about her period cramps. She deserves someone who knows how amazing she is in storyboards and creating stories out of nothing.
She doesn’t deserve just nice .
“Why are you acting this way?” Yeji asks helplessly. “You’re always teasing me about how Dohyun isn’t a real guy when he is. You don’t even think some guy would like me or find me attractive! And now that he’s here, now that I have solid proof that he’s real, you act like this! You act like… like…
“Like what?”
“Like you’re jealous!”
He is. Riki is jealous. He’s an idiot for denying that even to himself. But he is. He likes Yeji. But he doesn’t know why or when it started. He doesn’t know when he even admitted that to himself. But he just knows he does.
“But you’re not…” Yeji trails off. “You’re not jealous because why would you be? It’s not like you—”
Riki thinks he shouldn’t have drank alcohol. It muddles with his thoughts and it lowers his inhibitions. It also makes him feel numb.
But now that his lips are on Yeji’s—his first kiss—he feels like he’s going to explode.
The bungeoppang almost burns Riki’s tongue when he bites into it, but he doesn’t mind. It’s still amazing because Sunoo made it. And Sunoo never misses when it comes to homemade food.
Sunghoon emerges from their bedroom with a duffel bag slung on his shoulder. He hugs Sunoo from behind the kitchen counter and kisses him like a proper husband does. Then he turns to Jungwon and Riki. “Don’t give my husband a migraine. I let you stay here and eat my food for free!” Sunoo slaps him on the chest but kisses him once again before letting him go.
The three of them are having a sleepover like what they used to do when they were kids. Riki proposed it because it’s been a week since Yeji last talked to him and he feels like he’s going to be insane if his best friends won’t comfort him. Being the best best friend that he is, Sunoo immediately agrees and sends his husband off to his own friends for the weekend so they could have their privacy. Riki is grateful for that especially when he’s planning to spill his guts about how much he loves Sunghoon’s sister.
“So, what’s up?” Sunoo finally asks as soon as they hear the front door close. Jungwon, on the other hand, pours the wine in their glasses to formally start the night. Riki thinks twice before getting his own glass, but he figures it might help him ease the words out.
The two older ones look at Riki with anticipation. He takes his time chewing the food in his mouth before finally speaking. “So… You know how I identified as gay?”
Jungwon quirks an eyebrow. “That’s not how I thought you’d start, but go on.”
Riki sighs. “Well… Apparently, I’m not. I think. I’m not sure.”
“Riki, what is it, really?” Jungwon asks bluntly.
“I told you, I’m not sure,” he reiterates. “I just… Something happened.”
Sunoo and Jungwon looked at each other with intrigued faces before leaning on the counter as if they couldn’t wait to hear more. “What is it, Ni-ki?” Sunoo asks sweetly, but there was some kind of mischief in his voice. It irks Riki slightly. It’s like he already knows something.
“I…” Their eyes widen. “I think… I like Yeji.”
To his surprise, both Jungwon and Sunoo don’t look fazed at all. In fact, their faces split into knowing smiles and they both make excited noises that grate Riki’s ears.
“I knew it!” Jungwon exclaims. “You’ve been weird ever since she went to BalDal. I knew you were just picking on her because you like her.”
“What do you mean you knew?”
Sunoo laughs and shrugs. “You were so obvious about it, Ni-ki. It was so cute. You would look at her like she’s made of diamonds or something. And even though you annoy her 24/7, you always check up on her even more than her brother.”
“No, that’s just me being a good friend.”
“Oh, come on. Why are you denying it? You already confessed seconds ago,” Jungwon points out. “It’s not the end of the world, Riki. You like Yeji. Congrats! You finally moved on from—”
Riki violently coughs and stops Jungwon in his tracks. They both swore never to talk about his past feelings to Sunoo. Until now, Sunoo doesn’t know and Riki is not planning to rehash the cringey feelings he had for his best friend. Jungwon instantly gets it and shuts his mouth.
“Look, I think what Jungwon wants to say is that you don’t have to be embarrassed about all of this. You’re both adults and both single. Plus, isn’t it cool if you guys start dating? You’ve been friends since forever. It just makes sense!”
Riki groans and leans his head on the counter. He likes the idea of dating Yeji. She wouldn’t end up with that guy Dohyun and they could hang out a lot more. And maybe hold hands and cuddle, but that’s beside the point. Besides, they’re not really on good terms right now after what happened at the party.
“Oh… Did something bad happen?” Sunoo asks as he rubs circles on Riki’s back for comfort. Riki nods his head. Riki could tell that Sunoo and Jungwon both exchanged dumbfounded looks. “Oh… Did you confess already? Did she reject you?”
“Shit. Dohyun,” Jungwon mutters like he just remembered. Sunoo groans as well when he realizes why this whole thing is a lot more complicated than they imagined. But that’s not really Riki’s dilemma right now.
“I kissed her.”
Sunoo’s hand suddenly stops and he retracts it from Riki. The heavy atmosphere prompts Riki to finally look up to face his best friends who looked at him with sad eyes. “When was that?”
“At the party,” Riki tells Sunoo. “Everyone was dancing at midnight and I felt like shit so I got out the balcony to get some air. She followed me and we kind of argued and I just… I kissed her.” He releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He thought that confessing this to his best friends would somehow lighten the weight on his shoulders, but it doesn’t. If anything, their looks made it heavier. “She hasn’t talked to me ever since.”
“I’m sure she’ll come around, Riki,” Sunoo says. “Just give her some time to process everything. She must have been shocked to know.”
Riki couldn’t do anything but nod and agree. He wants to reach out first, but he’s afraid that Yeji would just be angrier at him. Well, he’s not even sure if she’s angry. When he came to his senses that night after he kissed her, she just looked surprised, then she left the party shortly after. Yeah. She’s probably angry. She just needs more space.
“I’m so dumb.”
“You’re not dumb,” Jungwon reprimands. “I mean, look at Sunoo-hyung. Sunghoon-hyung had been openly flirting with him during college and he had no idea. They’re fine now.”
Sunoo rolls his eyes. “Jungwon is not safe in this discussion either,” he says. “You remember how many chick-flicks he had to watch with Jay before he realized he loved him?”
“Even Heeseung-hyung and Jake-hyung had to go through all that stalking thing before they finally made it official!” Jungwon reiterates, but Riki thinks he does so just to get the attention off of him. The memory of him pining for Jay for five years was physically painful to witness, even Riki doesn’t want to remember it anymore.
But they’re both right. They all had to go through their own shit before everything went better. But there’s a catch: even before all of those relationships were forged, both parties clearly loved each other. He’s not so sure about Yeji’s feelings. And from everything he’s done to her, he won’t be surprised if this turns out to be worse.
“Come on, let’s watch a movie. You can eat as much sugar as you want tonight,” Sunoo tells Riki before hugging him. Riki wants to argue that he’s not a kid anymore, but he decides against it. He likes being coddled by his best friends sometimes, and this is definitely one of those days.
A week and three days after the shitty thing he did at the Valentine’s party, Riki finds himself at Sunoo and Sunghoon’s apartment again . Sunghoon keeps teasing him about how he should pay his own share of the rent, but he still makes sure that Riki is comfortable and well-fed. He’s like their foster child. He knows he’s somewhat of an inconvenience, but he just can’t be alone right now as well. His apartment is too big and spacious, and he’s afraid that his thoughts would fill every corner if he stays there.
Here at the Park-Kim residence, he doesn’t even have to worry about thinking. He just lets Sunoo make him do chores.
Sunghoon knows that something’s up with his sister and Riki, but he doesn’t say anything about it. He does drop hints, though, always talking about how communication is key to everything. Riki suppresses himself from saying that Sunghoon used to send messages to Sunoo through the Secret Cupid Cafe account in college.
After a hearty dinner with the couple, Riki retires to their guest room and tries to sleep. But there was something wrong that night. He kept tossing and turning, like he’s forgetting something. He tries to keep his eyes shut and count to a hundred, but he’s already past that number when he decides that sleep isn’t coming tonight. So, instead, he exits the room and heads to the kitchen where he finds Sunghoon talking on the phone. He glances at the clock in the living room. It was already 2AM.
Sunghoon spots him just as he’s about to end the call. “Yeah. Love you too.”
Riki furrows his brows. “Don’t tell me you’re cheating on my best friend.”
“Relax,” he rolls his eyes, a habit he’s definitely picked up from his husband. “It’s Yeji. She wasn’t feeling well so she called.”
“Oh.” Riki pauses in his tracks. Yeji still hasn’t contacted him. He told himself that if she still doesn’t text him after four days, he’ll be the one to make the first move.
Sunghoon sighs and takes two cans of beer from the fridge. He places them on the counter and beckons for Riki to come closer. He pops a can open and pushes the other one to Riki so they could share a toast before taking a sip. “I know what happened. Sunoo told me, of course.”
“Of course.” There were no secrets between the two of them.
“I didn’t want to meddle because it’s my sister’s life and she’s old enough to make her own decisions. But I just want to hear you out too,” he says. “What’s your plan?”
Riki shrugs. He doesn’t know. He wishes he were wiser to make better decisions or to say better words, but the truth is, he’s also trying to make sense of these new feelings he’s having. When he was still in love with Sunoo, it had been difficult but much more bearable because Sunoo didn’t know. He didn’t make any stupid mistakes to cost them their friendship. With Yeji, it’s a lot different. He kissed her, and even before that, he always picked on her like a bully.
He’s just been too oblivious about his feelings. And now, he’s in this mess that he started in the first place.
“You can punch me in the face. I’ll give you that right as her brother,” Riki says instead.
Sunghoon chuckles. “That won’t change anything. And it won’t be as satisfying for me. For Yeji, maybe. But for me… Not so much,” he reasons. “Besides, Sunoo won’t talk to me if he finds out.”
“You’re so whipped.”
Sunghoon shrugs and takes another sip of beer. He’s always been so in love with Sunoo. Riki wonders if he’ll ever be like this, head-over-heels for someone that he almost worships them.
But then, suddenly, something clicks into place. He quickly takes his phone from his pajama bottoms and checks his calendar. “Oh, shit.” He runs to the guest room and grabs his wallet and car keys. “Hyung, I gotta go!”
“It’s 2AM!”
“I know!”
Yeji looks like how Riki expected her to look like: covered in a white duvet like a marshmallow monster and eyes looking like she’s about to murder someone if they get in her way. But when she realizes who’s at her front door, a tinge of color blooms on her cheeks.
“Oppa? What are you doing here?”
“You’re making spaghetti,” Riki says bluntly before pushing his way into her apartment. He wasn’t mistaken. The smell of tomato sauce and cheddar cheese permeates in the air. “Right. I brought some stuff. I’m not sure if you still have meat for meatballs so I bought some. And garlic bread from the convenience store. It’s not the same as the one you buy at the bakery, but they’re closed because it’s almost 3AM, and no one in their right mind would probably crave fo garlic bread in this hour.”
“Oppa,” Yeji calls again. Riki finally turns and looks at Yeji. It’s the first time they’re seeing each other again after the party. “Why are you here?”
Riki looks at her for a beat, but then he remembers the weight of the tote bag he brought from the convenience store on the way to her apartment. He rummages through it and finds the big bag of junk food that she likes. “I also brought Flaming Hot Cheetos.” He tosses it to Yeji which she successfully catches. Then, without waiting for her to say a word, he makes his way to the kitchen. She’s still making the sauce while the pasty softens in another pan.
“I’ll help you out. I can make meatballs.”
Yeji stares at him, like she’s waiting for things to make sense. Maybe she thinks she’s hallucinating, but Riki assures her that he’s real and proceeds to take out the ground beef from the bag. “Okay,” she finally says.
They both work in silence, ignoring the large elephant in the room. Riki doesn’t want to say something until they’re finished with the spaghetti because she can be sensitive about it. He just makes sure that he’s not in her way. He also makes sure that there’s a water bottle near her every time.
Riki finishes with the meatballs first, but it didn’t take long for Yeji to be done with the pasta and sauce as well. She mixes them all in the sauce pan while still stubbornly pulling the duvet over her head like a hoodie. Riki takes out two plates and two sets of utensils and places them on the counter. He takes a bar stool for Yeji first before settling on one himself.
And then, they eat.
“You made it well this time,” Riki says through a mouthful of spaghetti. “Not that your other ones were terrible, but this time, the sauce tastes better.”
“Thanks,” Yeji says with an indiscernible tone. Riki thinks she’s not mad, anyway, because if she were, she would have kicked him out already. But she didn’t. They’re both having spaghetti at 3AM.
The silence doesn’t last long, however, because Yeji asks him again, “Why are you here?”
Riki swallows the pasta and tries to word out his next sentence as carefully as possible. “Uhm… It’s not the first time you made spaghetti in this hour.”
“That doesn’t explain anything.”
Riki shifts in his seat. “Uhm… Well… Like I said, this isn’t the first time. But you always made spaghetti every month. And I started looking for a pattern because I wanted to figure out why you did. And so… I know that you’re…”
“Oh.”
On your period , Riki wants to say, but chooses not to, not because it’s gross or anything. But he doesn’t want to offend Yeji in any way. “Anyway, I marked it on my calendar because I wanted to make sure you’re alright during these times. I also bought some of your favorite food like the Cheetos and also the gummy bears. If you plan on watching a sad movie, that’s okay too. I got tissues for when you cry.”
It’s like a routine to Riki. He’s surprised that Yeji hasn’t figured it out yet.
“Right.” They continue to stare at each other. “Why did you kiss me that night?”
And there it is. The big bomb that Riki thought he could shield himself away from. But that’s the thing about bombs, no matter how much shelter you take in, you’ll never escape it unscathed.
“I…” He can’t find the right words to say, and apparently, his brain is in shambles too. “Why didn’t you contact me after the party?”
Yeji was equally puzzled, but neither of them said a word. They finished their spaghetti in awkward silence and washed the dishes with a heavy air that lingered between them. Then they retired to Yeji’s couch. She’s already flipping through sad movies that she’s already seen a thousand times. This time, it’s a French movie that Riki has never seen before.
Her eyes are trained on the TV while her hands are busy with the Cheetos bag. Riki, on the other hand, just looks at her.
She’s pretty, he thinks. But that’s no surprise to anyone. She’s a Park after all. It’s a bit annoying that she kinda looks like her brother, but her face is rounder and her features are softer. She doesn’t have moles on her face, but her cheeks are a perpetual shade of pink that blooms darker in the summer.
“I like you, Yeji,” Riki blurts out of nowhere because he doesn’t think there’s a right timing to this thing. If Yeji doesn’t reciprocate his feelings, then he’ll cry about it and move on. Hopefully. And if Yeji does reciprocate his feelings… Well… How would he know without confessing, right?
Yeji halts from eating, her fingers already dusted with the bright orange cheese powder. Her eyes grow wide when she looks at him and it almost looks comical. “What?”
Riki chuckles despite the tension coiling up in his chest. “I like you. That’s why I’m here. Because I wanted you to know.”
“Oh,” she says again. “Is that also why you kissed me at the party?” Riki nods. “Okay.” Then she turns back to the TV.
It was a lukewarm response, and Riki thinks that’s also an equivalent to a no. He starts planning the ice cream flavors he’ll get once he gets home to wallow in his own misery. Two heartbreaks in one lifetime is too much, but what can he do?
“Dohyun…” she murmurs.
“I know,” Riki says. “You’re kinda seeing Dohyun now. I understand. I didn’t think you’d feel the same way and that’s alright. I just wanted to let you know. And also, I wanted you to know that I’ll be here every month for this like I always am.” After all, he didn’t want to ruin their friendship. Yeji is nice and kind. And she was his friend first before he realized he liked her.
But Yeji pauses the movie and looks at him with bewildered eyes. “No! I mean…” she sighs as if to collect her thoughts. She looks down on her bag of Cheetos when she speaks again. “Dohyun… was a paid actor.”
“What?”
She squeezes her eyes shut and rushes her words. “I-paid-him-to-act-like-the-guy-I-had-a-crush-on-to-make-you-jealous-but-then-I-realized-that-it-was-stupid-so-I-didn’t-talk-to-you-for-a-week-because-I’m-embarrassed!”
Riki feels his heart stop then and there. “Wait! Wait, Yeji, slow down,” he says while bracing her shoulders with his hands. “Explain. Slowly, please, because it’s 3AM and I don’t have functioning brain cells anymore.”
She heaves out a breath and finally opens her eyes, but she was still staring at the Cheetos. “I’ve been dropping hints that I liked you. Every time someone asks me if I have a crush or if I’m seeing someone, I always tell them your features.”
Handsome. Tall. Funny. Japanese.
In retrospect, Riki should have figured it out when she said “Japanese”, but he’s never been the smartest.
“But then my brother picked up on it and asked me if I liked you. And I said yes. He told me to confess before it’s too late but I was scared that you didn’t like me back so I made up this guy out of your features.
“Sunoo-oppa wanted to meet him, though. And I panicked. So I hired an actor to play this imaginary guy out so I could see your reaction. And then…”
“I kissed you,” Riki supplied under his breath.
“You did. Because…”
“I was jealous.”
“Right…” The blush was high on Yeji’s cheeks when she talked. “But then I realized that was shitty of me, and I was so embarrassed about it. I wanted to confess everything to you after that night, but I didn’t know how,” she said. “I thought you’d be mad at me.”
But Riki isn’t mad. If anything, he’s just surprised that Yeji liked him all along. Now he feels dumb for not picking up the signs that must have been to obvious to everyone else.
He lays back on the couch and runs his fingers through his hair to calm his thoughts. He hears Yeji mutter an apology beside him, but he just shakes his head and says she doesn't have anything to apologize for.
“Since when?” he asked. “Since when did you like me?”
Yeji blinks and looks at him with embarrassment etched on her face. “S-since BalDal.”
“Oh,” it was his turn to be speechless. It’s been so long now. “Wow, we’re dumb.”
“I’m sorry,” Yeji says again. And Riki thinks she was going to say something more, but just like at the party, he kisses her again just because he feels there’s nothing else he could do to assure her that everything is alright. His lips burn from the spicy cheese powder, but he doesn’t mind.
And when he pulls away, they look at each other like they’re both relieved.
“What now?” Riki says. Yeji was still staring at him, dumbstruck. “Sorry. I kissed you again.”
“It’s okay,” she quickly replies. “Uhm… So… Uhh…”
“Yeah.”
“Uhm… Do you want to continue with the movie?”
“Sure,” Riki replies, almost breathless, but he doesn’t stop the smile that crept to his lips when everything dawned on him.
He likes Yeji. Yeji likes him back. Everything else is complicated, but everything else makes sense as well. When she offers him the bag of Cheetos, he gets a handful and eats, reminiscing the sensation of her lips on his.
“Next week, do you want to have dinner?” Riki asks. “Japanese food because I know you like Japanese stuff.” She flicks him on the forehead when she realizes the euphemism, but they both laugh and she says “Okay.”
“Cool.”
Halfway into the movie, Yeji somehow scoots her way closer to Riki until their arms are touching. Riki wanted to hold her then and tell her that everything’s going to be fine, but his phone rings. And when he answered, it was Sunghoon on the other line.
“Hey, go home,” he said in a stern voice. “If you sleep at my sister’s place, I will kill you.”
“We’re not doing anything wrong.”
“Ni-ki…” It was Sunoo’s sleepy chiming in. “Please go home. My husband can’t sleep, and I can’t sleep. And if I don’t get enough sleep, I will fire you.”
Riki snorts but says, “Okay. After the movie.” Then he drops the call before Sunghoon could get a word in. He lets Yeji know that he needs to leave eventually because of her brother. She says, “Killjoy”, under her breath but agrees anyway.
It was almost 5AM when he left, but not without the taste of Flaming Hot Cheetos stamped on his lips.